"more than twice the approved dosage of Ecstasy"

California's Scripps Research Institute cited in monkey doping scandal.

"Reptiles are housed in the park gift shop"

Brumbach’s Wild Animal Park, in Pennsylvania, has new macaques, Capuchins and more for new season.

"monkey menace in the twin cities becoming unbearable"

Hyderabad, India to build camp for wayward monkeys.

"a new holding cage for the monkey exhibit"

Wisconsin's Menominee Park Zoo spiffs up.

Goodbye, Mumbali

Mumbali, 7-year-old gorilla at Chicago's Lincoln Park Zoo, euthanized after liver and its kidney failure from as-yet uncertain infection.

"the monkey grabbed her handbag and ran off"

Purse-snatching monkey strikes in Malaysia.

"monkeys and other species got their own delicacies"

"Day of the Animal" in Argentina.

"it's totally unsustainable"

Queen of the Chimps Jane Goodall's plans for government-funded indoctrination.

"I feel a strong kinship with the apes"

<irony>Painting of gorilla with a camera</irony> considered for BP Portrait Award.

"I want to become an artist"

Former monkey trainer does well in school.

"New Delhi as well is facing the wrath of the monkeys"

Shimla, India considers lasers to sterilize monkeys.

"performed a reversible vasectomy on a chimpanzee a month ago"

Saint Louis Zoo: easy off, easy on.

"How do you protect yourself?"

How to avoid deadly contagion while touring disease hot spots.

"I personally think watching another primate smoke is funny"

Thoughts on chimpanzees smoking.

"They've never had any past problems"

California Department of Fish and Game renews operating permit for Animal Haven Ranch, declares recent chimp attack an isolated incident.

"reminds one about the story of the King and his pet monkey"

Feel the love: "a war-monger, instable, military controlled, terrorist nation". Cited story of the King and his pet monkey not actually included.

"The Sumatran Orangutan is found nowhere else"

Greenies insist that tsunami rebuilding be done with politically correct lumber or not at all.

"immense trauma"

PETA loons hate beer. They still pine for kvass, but beer they hate.

"Gabriel said he also hopes to work with parrots and dolphins"

Via Monkey Day News, Peter Gabriel on bonobos. Or they on him, I suppose.

"A baby lemur is also proving to be popular"

UK's Flamingo Land Theme Park & Zoo hand-rears a white crowned mangabey.

"it would import 30 monkeys from Indonesia"

Transformer fire at Korea Research Institute of Bioscience and Biotechnology kills climate control system, 99 research monkeys.

"perhaps it was Hartlepool's famous monkey!"

Don't bury anything in Hartlepool, UK unless you want her to dig it back up.

The story of Hartlepool's famous monkey, which it wasn't, here.

"Also, a baby capuchin monkey"

Indiana's Fort Wayne Children's Zoo to open for the season Saturday.

"We hope they won't go back"

Uganda tempts gorillas back across Rwandan border.

There goes the neighborhood!

Bonobos begin trickling in to Iowa's Great Ape Trust. Staged photo of one not copulating with anything included.

"Winston Churchill ordered that their numbers be replenished"

Gibraltar's Barbary macaques get DNA tests.

"bitten on the face by a chimpanzee"

PETA loons hate circuses. Clowns they like, circus peanuts they like, but circuses they hate.

"There is nothing wrong with sitting down at the zoo"

Kansas City Zoo, perhaps mindful of patron demographics, distributes 40 rocking chairs around the facility.

"A langur monkey will be employed to patrol the cemetery for a month"

Gravesite of Brigadier General John Nicholson, hero of the Sepoy Mutiny, to be restored.

"the bonobos often don't like others watching them"

The frequently-bitten Sue Savage-Rumbaugh and her tribe of bonobos.

"dogs, cats and monkeys were vaccinated against rabies"

World Veterinary Day, April 30, is fast approaching.

"I decided to do a little investigating myself"

"Reputable scientists" and Queen of the Chimps Jane Goodall mentioned in the same blog post!

Also bigfoot.

"The Proboscis monkey was chosen as the mascot"

Malaysia's Sabah Wildlife Department distributes educational VCD to area schools.

"picked up by the international media"

That Charlie, the smoking chimpanzee at South Africa's Blömfontein Zoo, made the news worldwide, is news.

"invading apartment units and stealing food"

Malaysians menaced by marauding monkeys.

Meanwhile, at Monkeys In The News

A gorilla still young enough to be cute.

"a real menace at pilgrim centres and villages on the fringes of forests"

Monkey menace vs. government sterilization.

"the same thing that happens regularly in the wild"

California chimp attack, demystified.

"a recent government report said zoo care is improving"

Golden lion tamarin dead, apparently of chronic liver and gall bladder disease, at Smithsonian National Zoological Park. Leisurely necropsy planned.

"What he did at the Bronx brings tears to your eyes"

Minnesota Zoo to spend $30 million to advance state of suburban menagerie art.

"We tried to fight them with sticks"

"Monkeys make Sector 15 their latest trouble spot"

"an interesting time for the gorillas"

No hametz for gorillas at Tel Aviv's Safari Park Zoo this Passover.

Update: With a picture of a matzo-eating gorilla.

"for orangutan conservation efforts"

Kansas City Zoo to offer insultingly small, Earth Day only, discount in return for your obsolete tantalum-bearing cell.

"the V4 area, a mid-region of the visual cortex"

MIT monkey finds Waldo.

"one of the best human/animal relationship stories I know of"

Queen of the Chimps Jane Goodall attempts to steal thunder from Bear, World Trade Center search dog.

"a gorilla mask and sheepskin shawl"

Most serious charges against Pennsylvania teen in high school rooftop gorilla mask incident dismissed. Trespassing and disorderly conduct charges stand.

"failed to lock two of three doors on their cage"

Investigators of California chimp attack believe there were violations. Prosecutors have declined to bring charges.

"and develop cultures that will be studied for generations to come"

Iowa's Great Ape Trust to add Art Appreciation for Bonobos program. (Rumor has it that the only thing bonobos appreciate is other bonobos.)

Update: Power Line has more on Dr. Sue Savage-Rumbaugh and her randy bonobos.

"I came here because of the monkeys"

Students scramble for new schools as University of Montana psychology department announces closure of primate research lab in Herpes Virus B scare.

Send more monkeys!

Vermin control officers in Luweero district, Uganda exterminated 199 vervet monkeys and four baboons in the last two months of 2004. Stepped-up efforts promised for 2005, if logistics are improved. Animal rights groups outraged.

"declined to file misdemeanor charges"

No charges to be filed in California chimp attack.

The investigation found that one of the two chimps who escaped managed to reach through a tight space between a fence and a wall and pull out a steel pin that kept a door locked in place.

The D-A's office says there is no evidence that the pen door was unlocked or left open.

Victim St James Davis still in critical condition, in induced coma.

"it’s not even being considered"

Mesa, AZ police chief nixes doughnut-eating SWAT monkey plan.

"No one likes the skunk ape!"

Florida man caters to skunk-ape cognoscenti.

‘"Monkeys," he whispers’

Extreme ecotourism!

"Uganda is losing hope"

Runaway gorillas staying put, in Rwanda, which denies luring them in. Exhorbitant banana bill remains unexplained.

"Chimps aren't the only animals to use tools"

An overview of tool-using animals.

"I narrowly missed being covered in saliva"

Queen of the Chimps Jane Goodall extends her hegemony to Bend, Oregon.

"we photographed foreign tourists taking pictures of them"

More committees, more meetings as the case of the "Taiping Four" drags on.

"a divine sign"

Monkey observed praying, say organizers of Indian religious festival.

"You want him to live the rich life"

Hopes for the social life of Ivan the gorilla, at Georgia's Zoo Atlanta.

"not treatable with any known drugs"

Angolan Marburg outbreak continues to kill.

"a really peculiar lemur"

In search of the aye-aye on Nosy Mangabe.

"malaria pills are recommended"

Tips for planning your safari.

"Legends of the Wild"

Ohio's Akron Zoo to add animals, exhibits, and docents in pith helmets.

"The injured have been hospitalised"

Stoner monkey hoodlums rumble with villagers in Baralapokhari, India.

‘"woo-a woos" and "oogh ooghs"’

Queen of the Chimps Jane Goodall brings her Tour of Correct Opinion to Salem, OR.

Wanna buy a duck?

San Francisco Zoo to sell naming rights to two grizzly bear cubs. Winners of November's contest to name the same bears to get consolation prize.

"seeking federal grant money, about $100,000"

Mesa, AZ wants to add capuchin monkey to SWAT team.

"the monkey-sitting case"

Tales told at a Small Claims Court in Staten Island.

"press clippings and praise don't pay the bills"

Alabama Gulf Coast Zoo, damaged in Hurricane Ivan, remains shut while waiting for FEMA and insurance to pony up.

I'll never know!

While on your gorilla-viewing trip to Rwanda's Lake Ihema, mind the elephants.

Meta, meta, meta

Well, Voigt-Kamp it ain't, but it's better than nothing.

"Monkeys are frequent visitors"

Monkey-ridden South African ghost-town of Leydsdorp auctioned for 2.1 million Rand. (about $336,000 says xe.com)

"it remains to be seen whether the monkeys will follow"

Sekgosese Magistrate's Court in South Africa's Limpopo province tries to outrun monkeys.

Daubentonia madagascariensis

UK's Bristol Zoo Gardens has first captive-bred aye-aye. With photo.

Update: UK's first captive-bred aye-aye.

"a lifelong obsession with lemurs"

John Cleese visits new lemur exhibit at Sacramento Zoo.

"subtle and blurred"

Queen of the Chimps Jane Goodall at Virginia's Langley School, where she probably couldn't do much additional harm.

"fully prepared"

Zambia waits for Marburg to cross the border with Angola.

"handling carcasses is considered risky"

Monkey-meat sales banned in midst of Angolan Marburg outbreak.

Say it ain't so, Joe

Well, now we know what "Jomentum" is.

Please don't feed the animals(or give them smokes)

South Africa's Bloemfontein Zoo seeks to break smoking habit of Charlie the chimpanzee.

"The problem is that he has a pet monkey"

Advice columnist recommends shunning minister with rude pet monkey. (Dateline Thursday, April 14, 105)

"When was the last time you touched a monkey?"

Author David Sedaris gives to Helping Hands, who train helper monkeys for quadriplegics.

"This is not a pet, this is my son"

Durned old monkey lady still at it, apparently.

"the first anniversary of the gorilla's arrival in South Africa on 14 April 2005"

International Fund for Animal Welfare issues acronym-rich anachronistic press release.

Softly, softly

Sky falling, say career conservationists.

"an incredible leap"

$1.8 million to Dallas Zoo for post-hoc barn-door locking. Still costs $8 to get you in the door.

"The bottom line is that this is a terrible idea"

You don't want a pet monkey.

Callicebus aureipalatii

Internet casino GoldenPalace.com, winner of monkey naming auction, to name monkey "GoldenPalace.com Monkey".

"DNA testing is still being conducted on the finger"

Finger in Wendy's chili may have originated in Pahrump, Nevada leopard attack.

"I'm not suggesting that apes are moral beings"

It begins as a story about monkey morality as a method of resolving conflict, but quickly changes to:

After the Second World War, the establishment of the European Union was designed to increase the stake countries had in each other, so discouraging conflict. The same effect can be seen in non-human primate societies, where increasing the value of relationships can promote more peaceful interaction.

Eeesh.

"His announcement today says we're going to another level"

Ground broken on new enclosure for Honolulu Zoo's Rusti the orangutan.

"emus, buzzards, wallabies, deer, badgers, racoons and monkeys"

Scotland's Argyll Wildlife Park to close.

"a Francois Lemer monkey"

Francois' Lemur born at San Antonio Zoo.

"the sight of monkeys run over by cars was becoming more common"

Malaysian wildlife runs amok.

"vermin and wild animals"

Monkeys implicated in Malaysian power outages.

"You have to watch where you walk or they'll pee on you"

Thailand, eager for tourism, is rife with monkeys.

"The monkey knows how you’ll react"

New Aimee Mann, May 3.

"a threat to endangered species"

Democratic Republic of Congo vs. Republic of Uganda goes to court.

"will help us make our anti-poaching efforts more effective"

Promised ESA & UNESCO mountain gorilla habitat mapping reaches fruition.

Thanks to Sissy Willis for the pointer!

Back to the old drawing board

Black Hills Zoological Society, stymied by Rapid City, SD's denial of $8 million for proposed zoo, to become self-perpetuating pressure group.

"I'm proud of the fact we have a 50-year history of no animal attacks"

Things to do at Caldwell Zoo in Tyler, TX.

"the need to promote its potentials"

UK firm hired to promote tourism in Ghana.

"too late to recover the chimp"

Chimp-smugglers put one past the Uganda Wildlife Authority.

"Timu also failed to bond with her first baby"

Timu fails to bond with her second baby.

Update: Now with a working link, and a baby gorilla photo, thanks to Sissy Willis.

"the worst outbreak of the disease yet"

World Health Organization unpopular in Angola.

"monkey menace is a huge problem"

Monkeys blamed for security alarms at Pakistan embassy in Delhi.

"non-native deer"

Queen of the Chimps Jane Goodall loves deer, doesn't even like you.

"this newborn is her second child"

Gorilla born at Omaha's Henry Doorly Zoo.

"a little monkey, a chimp, an ape, a primate"

Pets are mentioned at Jackson trial.

Update: Agence France-Presse has the last word on dung

"a futuristic ape abode"

Great Ape Trust of Iowa set to welcome eight bonobos.

"their coats gradually change to black"

Francois langur monkey born at Belfast Zoo, which seems to be in regular production.

A nice docile captive audience. Excellent!

Queen of the Chimps Jane Goodall's indoctrination tour to visit Virginia's Chatham Hall.

"The sooner the better"

Call for release of report on California chimp attack.

"$500 reward"

Deflated 25-foot-tall blue and yellow inflatable gorilla gone missing in Stanwood, WA.

Update: Gorilla recovered, reward claimed.

No monkey content

The sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick. Dead, in fact.

"After eleven days of recovery..."

Babec, gorilla at Alabama's Birmingham City Zoo, has recovered from second pacemaker implantation, will soon be back on display.

"The monkey skulls just came. Thanks, Dusty"

Exotic plant trader sentenced for illegally trading in bits of protected animals.

"there's going to be a lot of monkey-poop thrown around in the next few minutes"

Laurence Simon tells the tale of the reboot monkeys.

"may also help protect human populations"

Republic of the Congo's Odzala National Park, home of the world's "single largest population of gorillas and chimpanzees," full of Ebola. Like anywhere there are chimps, it seems.

"There is no vaccine or curative treatment"

Angolan Marburg outbreak most deadly on record.

"We'll meet again in the next world"

Macaque guest of honor at former owner's funeral in Taipei.

"many people believe forgiveness is a concept which only applies to humans"

Great Ape Trust of Iowa in Des Moines to round up some scientists and some bonobos and see what's needed for the latter to forgive the former.

"UN Messenger for Peace"

Woodrow Wilson and Queen of the Chimps Jane Goodall, it all seems to fit together.

"the message is loud and clear"

Chattering chimps are talking about you.

"the message is loud and clear"

Chattering chimps are talking about you.

"The orangutans love to dress up"

Things to see at Minnesota's Como Park Zoo.

"We are hoping the females are going to help him in the actual breeding process"

Audubon Zoo in New Orleans: purveyors of gorilla porn. Links to more on Casey the gorilla here.

"the deadly munochwa"

Indian urban legends.

"It will be like seeing the animals in the wild"

Major upgrades at Australia's Adelaide Zoo.

"Everything is art"

72-year-old Cheeta, claimed oldest ape on record, to hold art show in Palm Springs.

"No one has been arrested yet"

53 monkey carcasses in sacks found dumped in Indian village.

"plans to visit different schools each week"

Orangutan visit program for Greater Jakarta elementary schools.

"a particularly important addition"

Skeleton of Brooks, recently deceased gorilla at Cleveland Metroparks Zoo, harvested for Cleveland Museum of Natural History.

"A three-year-old boy landed in hospital"

Monkey menace in Malaysia.

"a regular dose of vitamins and other tonic"

Delhi Zoo's new breeder chimp fails to hook up with aging lothario Rustam.

"doctors maintain a constant vigil over him"

LaDonna Davis Fund seeks donations for California chimp attack victims.

"WCBS-FM 101.1"

Former Monkee Micky Dolenz to DJ oldies in NYC morning drivetime.

"the perpetually astonished look of baby apes"

Mothering lessons for orangutan at Los Angeles Zoo said to be paying off.