“They do attack, and quite viciously”

South African home zoo full of South and Central American monkeys.

“a 23-year-old promise”

Jane Goodall never forgets.

“never been done before”

Malaysian experiment seeks to find if two scientists per orangutan is sufficient for teaching the orange apes to live in the wild.

“No one's read it”

Resolution said to be near in disposition of OSU/Primarily Primates chimpanzees.

“attacked by a monkey two weeks ago”

Victim of Tennessee monkey attack said to be improving.

“so that this does not happen to another child”

In the aftermath of Tuesday's Chicago Spider Monkey attack, U.S. Humane Society calls for Illinois to outlaw pet primates.

“tear apart and eat a colobus monkey”

Tanzania's chimpanzees may lull you into a false sense of peaceful security, maintaining which will require careful pruning of your memories.

“a Marine, a cop, a firefighter”

Captain Jack O'Connor, NY firefighter who named Pattycake, first gorilla born in New York City, dead after a short illness

“You could leave it in the box”

A little gorilla robot you can call your own.

“resting before consulting her lawyers”

Baboon Matters group seeks funds to offer reward for South Africa's Dieldrin poisoner.

Ashley says doctors did not confirm that Jenni was poisoned, as she refused to undergo a painful bone-marrow test. "We all know what happened though," Ashley says

Cats falsely blamed!

Giant meat-eating birds of prehistory: why Thanksgiving dinner is only fair play.

“options like the monkey bucks make it interesting”

Imminent demise of eBay predicted.

“great similarity between human and chimpanzee behaviour”

Tell a chimpanzee a secret, he'll pass it along.

Oh, right-thinking readers take note: don't tell George Allen about “Chinese Whispers”

“bitten to the bone”

Chicago teen injured in spider monkey rampage.

More.

“release these elder chimpanzees before it is too late”

Project R&R: Release and Restitution for Chimpanzees in U.S. Laboratories wants release of long-serving experimental chimps (along with a companion or family member)and pays for survey supporting same.

The continuing saga...

“Belgian Farm House Ale ”

North Carolina's Edenton Brewing Company announces release of Surrender Monkey.

It's not a buffet. Also

It's not a Swiss picnic!
It's not a Pig Pickin'!
It's not an Oyster Festival in a month without an "R"!
It's not a Syrian Taffy pull!
It's not a Scientologist Clam Bake!

Sarah Bernhardt still dead

Dieldrin-poisoned baboon Angelina Ballerina exhumed and incinerated. Dieldrin-poisoned baboon monitor Jenni Trethowan discharged from ICU, hospital

“sitting under a tree”

Arizona's stolen scrap-metal gorilla found unharmed, returned to owner.

“It was so embarrassing”

Holidaymaker on Gibraltar claims expensive wig stolen by Barbary apes, in front of witnesses.

“In the ‘60s, we were all searching for alternate lifestyles”

A moment of incautious youthful experimentation condemns California man to a monkey-besotted lifetime of organ-grinding.

“Don't touch him and don't make eye contact”

At Wild Things Exotic Animal Orphanage, in Massachusetts, there are primates everywhere you look and plenty of expertise at working the system.

“terrible pets”

Don't get a pet monkey until you're clear on what you're getting into (“including macaques”).

Awwww

Warding off exploration by thieving orangutans a constant, and losing, battle at Borneo's Tanjung Puting National Park.

“two-time Pulitzer Prize winner”

Sudanese government detains National Geographic reporter Paul Salopek and charges him with espionage

“and incinerated”

Body of Angelina Ballerina, South African baboon dead of apparent dieldrin poisoning, to be exhumed after fears of burial site contamination by the persistent Organochloride pesticide.

“a common virus which is latent in a high percentage of people”

South Africa's advocate for baboons, Jenni Trethowan, apparently suffering dieldin poisoning, diagnosed with cytomegalovirus, a serious risk to those with an unhealthy immne system.

“help them maximize their potential”

Math Monkey: Vedic math scam hopes for what's in your wallet.

“being at close quarters with an adult male gorilla”

If you didn't know better, you'd forget that these “gentle giants” could peel you like a banana whenever the whim struck them.

“I don't kill or torture animals”

UCLA to take bold stand, at least on paper, against AR thugs. How it stands up, time will tell.

“one of the first outdoor venues”

Ohio's Cincinnati Zoo & Botanical Garden bans smoking on the grounds.

“this weekend”

Wichita's Sedgwick County Zoo offers cupcakes and reduced admission prices to celebrate 35th anniversary.

“damaged almost 40 per cent of their crop”

Coordination in India with monkey crop-raids in the day, boar crop-raids at night.

“a young female human-bonobo chimpanzee hybrid”

Since Fitzween was a bust, truthout turns to stranger fantasies.

Prizes!

Cincinnati Zoo and Botanical Garden holding gorilla-naming contest.

“neighbors miss him as well”

Scrap-metal gorilla sculpture eyesore swiped from Arizona lawn. Suspects not apparent.

“a huge trap is being readied”

The war with the monkeys may have already begun in the Indian town of Deogarh.

“On Monday I went downhill very quickly”

South Africa's advocate for baboons Jenni Trethowan is in the ICU with suspected pesticide poisoning. It's uncertain whether she could have picked this up from contact with poisoned baboons.

Everyone's a critic!

Chimpanzee at Little Rock Zoo beans documentary filmmaker Melanie Masino with softball-sized rock. Next week: Michael Moore vs. an enraged bull Hippopotamus in a Texas cage match.

“The Pygmy Marmoset”

Photos of thumb-sized newborn albino Pygmy Marmoset monkeys at Monkeys In The News.

Frank J. expresses concern about these readily-concealed "Saturday-night special" monkeys.

“human-to-monkey viral transmission”

Disease-ridden primates a risk to humans (and we to them!), experts warn.

“among the most intelligent of animals”

UK man arrested in Chessington World of Adventures monkey-napping.

“bad news, very bad news”

South Africa's baboon poisonings judged intentional.

Chimp being trained in martial arts!

Hey, it's not the end of the world!

Saudi baboon swipes cell from food-teaser in “the resort city of Taif”.

orangutans and bonobos

Iowa's Great Ape Trust announces $22,000 dollars in awards for Indonesian and African ape conservation programs.

Update: On a free tour of Great Ape Trust, maybe you'll learn if you're getting an award.

“It held my leg and I screamed for help”

Monkey chased away from Malawian runner.

“chimpanzees continued to find the hidden object”

Dogs marked down for having outsmarted experimental psychologist Jean Piaget.

“broken in a trap”

Successful foot surgery for Vietnamese red-shanked Douc langur is reported.

“Stick it in a banana and hand it to them”

Planning and preventing reproduction at Houston Zoo.

“Increased dendritic spine density”

Marmoset monkey fathers who carry their infants show changes in their puny monkey brains.

I wonder if this is how Hannibal started

Thailand's Chiang Mai Night Safari to send China 29 elephants and assorted chimpanzees, Douc langue monkeys, and a crocodile species.

“the discontinuous distribution of the nut-cracking behavior”

Research on chimpanzee use of stone hammers to crack open nuts to access the nutrient-rich seeds and transmission of that behavior. Nobody asks about chimpanzee use of stone hammers to crack open human skulls to access the nutrient-rich sweet, sweet goo inside which'd be the first behavior I'd worry about chimpanzees transmitting.

“It's important to maintain such relations”

An uneasy peace prevails in Japan's Hodaka mountain range between climbers and groups of wild monkeys.

“a surprising place with a unique history”

Malaysia's Semenggok reserve rehabilitates orangutans for life in the wild.

For the children!

It's all very clean and educational at Singapore Zoo.

“he was hand-raised in the home of a German woman”

Singapore Zoo's Charlie the Orangutan learning to fit in.

“fibrosing cardiomyopathy”

What's killing the great apes of the world's zoos?

“we had stopped using the langur wallah's services”

Monkeys take to India's Delhi Metro train service in numbers

“I will always remember the intensity of the stare”

Trekking to meet East Africa's gorillas.

“claiming dolphins are marine dimwits”

Pro-cetacean forces under attack by primate advocates.

“ESTROGEN FOR MONKEYS”

Caring for geriatric animals at Arkansas's Little Rock Zoo.

“we felt this would help her status within the group”

Mother of dead gorilla baby at Calgary Zoo gains gorilla troupe cred, says Calgary Sun.

Like a handle, I bet

Javanese long-tailed monkey under extinction threat.

“pretty cute”

Cincinnati Zoo and Botanical Garden exhibits male gorilla born earlier this week, as-yet-unnamed

“very active and seems to be adapting well”

Owl monkey born at Indiana's Mesker Park Zoo.

“Find the bastard who put the poison down”

Angelina Ballerina, South African baboon poisoned this weekend, dead.

“He sees little hairy children”

Perhaps you'll decide you don't want a pet monkey.

Goodbye, unnamed infant gorilla!

Gorilla born earlier this month dies at Canada's Calgary Zoo.

More.

For the charity!

They're dressing up in gorilla suits and going for a run, jog, walk, rollerblade, skateboard, or train ride in Denver, Co. Gorilla suits provided.

Let My Chimps Go!

Court-assugned attorney insists that Primarily Primates chimpanzees be tranferred to a sanctuary with posher digs.

“not immediately clear whether the animals were deliberately poisoned”

Baboon-poisonings suspected in South Africa's Cape.

“the second monkey was not there when authorities went to seize it”

Pennsylvanis trio fined for keeping two monkeys, bitey ones at that.

Normal, Abby Normal, Chimpanzee

Genetics of chimpanzee brains subtly different from our own.

“baboons got stressed”

Regimen relaxed for animals at Israel's Haifa Zoo.

“Labor and delivery were normal”

Bundle of gorilla joy arrives at Ohio's Cincinnati Zoo and Botanical Garden.

“You Win”

Everyone loses as UCLA neurobiologist Dario Ringach knuckles under to NAALPO.

“scaring over a hundred workers”

Sugar-shocked monkeys in Ludhiana, India, mob a cage holding one of their young

“fell nearly 43 percent in the past decade”

Spend your Algore carbon units to see a wild orangutan in Indonesia while you can. Don't dawdle, warns the Wildlife Conservation Society.

“still needs to raise $3.7 million to complete the project”

Expansion planned for New York's Seneca Park Zoo.

“discrimination and unconstitutional”

Will Humanzees* give Ned Lamont the edge he needs come November?

“pet guardian”

“Activist“ finds that, in Animal Rights as in any other area, you've got to start young if you're going to stick it out.

Next up: pathogens in gopher guts

Hunters in Cameroon cooperate with Johns Hopkins researchers in survey of viruses in monkey meat.

“a place any chimp would go 'ape' for”

Apes a-plenty at Chimp Haven.

“even if it means working with terrorist organizations like Hizballah”

Peta to make new friends.

“largest privately owned zoo in New England”

Southwick's Zoo to join Curious George marketing extravaganza.

Fooling Enough of the People This Time

From the folks who brought you an album of songs with lyrics written by Koko the Gorilla, an album of songs approved by focus groups of dogs.

“lends itself to many captions”

Pennsylvania's NBC 10 wants your caption for this photo of a baby bonobo. And a disturbing number of your personal details.

Paris Hilton reporters: kinkajou ≠ monkey!

A kinkajou isn't a simian, it's more closely related to the raccoon.

“a revolutionary concept”

Orangutans in the Netherlands to get broadband connection with Indonesian orangutans.

"a gibbering ape"

The Harsh Afghan Winter and I:  a Tourist's Tale.

“How many more animals have to die...”

In Defense of Animals urges expensive federal investigation of snake-bite death of Judeo, chimpanzee at Los Angeles Zoo.

“if...it feels threatened or scared, then it may lash out”

Cyprus authorities seek to reassure public about runaway monkey.

“the naughty monkey that once left a mess in her house”

Train a monkey to guard the house while you're fishing, you'll keep pesky neighbors away all day.

“research in one of the least-known areas on the planet”

New Zealand's University of Auckland appoints first primatologist. Because sometimes you just need one.

“the population is growing”

Philadelphia Zoo debuts its new golden lion tamarin.

“the animal leapt onto the boat”

Monkey's escape attempt during veterinary visit at Texas's Gladys Porter Zoo is foiled.

“Raman knew shooting in reverse would've killed him”

Indian bandit's pet monkey remembered as a keen shot.

“did not do everything possible to protect the animals and its staff”

US Department of Agriculture to penalize Chicago's Lincoln Park Zoo $3000 for irregularities resulting in three poisoned langurs and one attacked intern gorilla-keeper.

“now plans further research on monkeys”

Something new to fret about: untrasound may be harmful to little Zygote.

Gorilla-botherers

“said there was no cause for alarm”

Authorities on Cyprus seek reported window-rattler which might be a monkey. Reuters story lacks photoshopped illustration.

“I feel guilt and anger”

Jane Goodall cheers up Martha's Vineyard.

“a bright-eyed baby gorilla”

Gorilla born and doing fine at Canada's Calgary Zoo.

“people didn't want their pets confiscated”

Being around primates can be bad for your health, warns the Captive Wild Animal Protection Coalition.

“a major role in the evolution of monkeys, apes and humans”

Science lessons of Snakes on a Plane.

“l have made some shocking findings”

De Brazza monkeys mistaken for Skyes monkeys when initially spotted in northern Kenya forest.

“I look back with great nostalgia”

Jane Goodall spreads it pretty thick.

RIP

Four-time Iditarod champion, motorcyclist, writer, Susan Butcher dead after bone marrow transplant.

“These lights are inexpensive”

Canada's Light Up the World Foundation seeks funds to save gorilla habitat by replacing lighting via firewood with $150-per-unit LED “eco-lamps”.

“claiming the stunt was just a prank”

Gorilla-suited yout in Lakewood, Washington, gets a warning after attempting shopping center tot-snatch of 5-year-old.

An ape, but a lesser ape!

Johannesburg Zoo happy about birth of siamang gibbon.

“the zoo's first-ever testosterone replacement”

Abu, former alpha-male baboon at New Zealand's Wellington Zoo is deposed. The zoo hopes to return him to the throne.

“comes with a card detailing the saga”

Virginia's Mill Mountain Zoo tries to squeeze the last bit of good from erstwhile escape-monkey Oops.

As do I.

“and a macaque monkey’s urine contacted her eye”

When working in the lab, follow established procedures and wear safety gear.

“part of a weapons investigation”

Michigan's Binder Park Zoo provides temporary quarters for monkeys, exotic birds, cobras, diamondback rattlesnake and others, seized from two Battle Creek homes.

“to make sure it's happening right”

Close attention is paid to Muke, expectant gorilla at Ohio's Cincinnati Zoo and Botanical Garden.

Out-monkeyed!

Hmmm, I must improve my news searches. Monkeys In The News is full of stories I haven't seen yet!

“animals with smaller brains lack behavioural flexibility”

Predators prefer prey species with smaller brains, scientists say. Except for zombies, presumably.

“patrolling monkey-prone stations”

Monkey menace on the rails in New Delhi.

“a bad case of the shakes”

“Animal advocacy” group Last Chance for Animals calls for the head of Los Angeles Zoo Director John Lewis following death of rattlesnake-bitten chimpanzee Judeo.

“scientists found him in a traveling circus in Japan”

Necropsy result on P-Suke, a bonobo which died at Great Ape Trust of Iowa, much as expected: cardiac fibrosis.

“monkey in pajamas”

Well, there's a blast from the past, I once saw Phil Dirt and the Dozers perform in Columbus, OH. A long time ago.