Thursday, June 30, 2005

"The group had returned to Uganda only a month earlier"

Wandering border gorillas back in Rwanda.

"heavily punished with various calamities"

Malaysian shaman warns of dire consequences for those who dress up animals.

"Mayor Richard M. Daley was on hand"

Chicago's Lincoln Park Zoo unveils $13.4 million Pritzker Family Children's Zoo.

"he’s starting to get his first few teeth"

After two months, baby gorilla at Chicago's Brookfield Zoo gets a name.

Who decided that it's culturally sensitive to name gorillas in Swahili, by the way?

"ready to welcome back real tourists instead of the UN officials"

Sierra Leone seeks to promote tourism with beaches, chimpanzees, &c. CIA World Factbook entry here.

"It used to be farm animals"

Monkeys among the animals mimicked by children at San Diego County Fair.

Seal the borders!

Discovering Chimpanzees: The Remarkable World of Jane Goodall opens at the Manitoba Museum.

Amend the constitution, overturn Kelo v. New London.

"We're being very serious when we bring the monkey suit out"

Activists, research monkeys, gorilla mask, it's the same old story.

Amend the constitution, overturn Kelo v. New London.

"their ability to hurt you is much greater than you think"

Monkey-friendly Florida couple praised as "high end" owners of exotic pets.

Amend the constitution, overturn Kelo v. New London.

"very, very unfortunate set of circumstance"

The death of Indah the orangutan at Great Ape Trust of Iowa due to poor veterinary care at the National Zoo, says Washington Post.

Amend the constitution, overturn Kelo v. New London.

Wednesday, June 29, 2005

"we have virtually no information about monkeys"

State government of Kolkata, India to throw money at monkey menace.
we have roped in several NGOs who have been given responsibilities to collect information on monkeys.
Amend the constitution, overturn Kelo v. New London

"the guest room smells like unwashed baby primate"

Trouble at Topic Drift!

Amend the constitution, overturn Kelo v. New London.

Where the monkeys come rushing down the plain!

Disney Presents Tarzan, a Broadway musical, looks to spring 2006 opening.

Amend the constitution, overturn Kelo v. New London

"I think this is a lot more about politics than it is about policy"

Connecticut legislature votes to sue feds to be allowed to leave behind any children it damned well pleases. Dick Blumenthal has profile sharpened in expectation of photo ops.

Amend the constitution, overturn Kelo v. New London.

"It's highly unusual for birds to fly away from the zoo"

Readers near Wichita's Sedgwick County Zoo asked to keep an eye out for a pair of pink flamingos, contact zoo if spotted.

Amend the constitution, overturn Kelo v. New London.

"says it has been flooded with requests"

Vienna's Schoenbrunn Zoo claims Austrians, spurred by £14,400 sale of three paintings by a chimp, pester them for paintings by Nonja the orangutan.

Amend the constitution, overturn Kelo v. New London.

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

"the largest lizard species in the world"

Animal deaths at the National Zoo are rehashed.

Amend the constitution, overturn Kelo v. New London.

"she’s in Aruba"

I have my doubts about it, but according to this, you can see Greta Van Susteren punched by a monkey on Fox News tonight.

Amend the constitution, overturn Kelo v. New London.

No monkey content

tvsquad reports historian Shelby Foote dead at 88.

Amend the constitution, overturn Kelo v. New London.

"although the plane was in less that mint condition"

Tales of the Gold Monkey plane only partially destroyed in February fire, now being restored.

Amend the constitution, overturn Kelo v. New London.

"high-resolution images of serial sections of monkey brains"

All those monkey brains, but not a recipe to be found!

Amend the constitution, overturn Kelo v. New London.

"they're going to love what we're about to do"

Petting zoo at North Carolina's Natural Science Center closes, to be replaced with non-petting zoo.

Amend the constitution, overturn Kelo v. New London.

"It's not that they are so clever. It's that we are thick"

"[U]sually harmless", the Barbary apes as the New York Times sees them.
(thanks to Josh of The Comics Curmudgeon)

Amend the constitution, overturn Kelo v. New London.

Monday, June 27, 2005

"They've been there for 122 years and this has never happened before"

Australia's Adelaide Zoo to keep pointy wrought iron main gates despite apparent impaling death of alleged ice cream thief.

Amend the constitution, overturn Kelo v. New London.

"And the four cougars, one wolf and one macaque monkey"

Florida's Lions, Tigers and Bears animal sanctuary ordered to remove animals they don't have permits for.

Amend the constitution, overturn Kelo v. New London.

"Wanner was looking to purchase a lemur, a small exotic monkey"

Kentucky roadside petting zoo open-mouthed at exotic pet ban due July 12.

Amend the constitution, overturn Kelo v. New London.

Don't you want a little gorilla you can call your own?

Rwandan national parks authority nets $850,000 in gorilla "corporate adoption" funds. $5,000 will buy a year of non-exclusive commercial rights to use your gorilla's name & picture, $50,000 for exclusive rights for a year.

Amend the constitution, overturn Kelo v. New London.

Sunday, June 26, 2005

"the farmer's friend"

Before there was there was Monkey Ward.

Amend the constitution, overturn Kelo v. New London.

"they are in full resistance to coal mining"

Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez chided for insufficient anti-imperialist revolutionary zeal.

Amend the constitution, overturn Kelo v. New London.

"there may have been a second person involved"

A TEENAGER killed when impaled on the front gate of Adelaide Zoo may have been left for dead by a friend, police said yesterday.

Must be one of those "two countries separated by a common language" deals.

Amend the constitution, overturn Kelo v. New London.

Renaissance Dentist

Orthodontist to split time between Yerkes Regional Primates Center and family practice, with volunteer firefighting in his spare time.

Amend the constitution, overturn Kelo v. New London.

"1,000 names of Hanuman given to him affectionately by Lord Ram"

Hanuman the monkey god gets his own museum in Uttar Pradesh.

Amend the constitution, overturn Kelo v. New London.

"she tried to jump from a real rock onto a painted rock"

20 years of tropical rainforest at New York's Bronx Zoo.

Amend the constitution, overturn Kelo v. New London.

"There is no sharp line separating us from animals"

Queen of the Chimps, Jane Goodall urges students to volunteer their time, as she does.

Amend the constitution, overturn Kelo v. New London.

"declining green cover is playing havoc with their ecology"

Hundreds of monkeys said dead in Uttar Pradesh heatwave & drought.

Amend the constitution, overturn Kelo v. New London.

Saturday, June 25, 2005

"to promote awareness about the orang utans"

Rehabilitating orangutans in Malaysia.

Amend the constitution, overturn Kelo v. New London.

"Secondary and tertiary targeting"

ALF thugs run wild in UK.

Amend the constitution, overturn Kelo v. New London.

"You have to apply for a permit"

Monkeys not made welcome in Minneapolis.

Amend the constitution, overturn Kelo v. New London.

"to see some chimpanzees, one of which was peeing on my head"

The road to Make Poverty Permanent is paved with such very good intentions.

Amend the constitution, overturn Kelo v. New London.

"overshadowed this year’s gorilla-naming ceremony"

Sunday Times pisses all over Rwanda's parade.

Amend the constitution, overturn Kelo v. New London.

"It may very well be he has impaled himself on the fence"

18-year-old dies after apparently breaking into Australia's Adelaide Zoo.

Amend the constitution, overturn Kelo v. New London.

"one of the “Top Ten Zoos for Kids”"

Indiana's Fort Wayne Children’s Zoo celebrate its 40th anniversary with events.

Amend the constitution, overturn Kelo v. New London.

In Tallahassee this weekend? Visit Tallahassee Museum to see the loaned Black-handed Spider Monkeys and/or "Wedding Gowns: Timeless Elegance" as the mood strikes you.

Amend the constitution, overturn Kelo v. New London.

"I can’t believe the nerve of these kids"

Brownsville, TX's Gladys Porter Zoo sure has been in the news alot the last couple of days. In today's headlines, high-spirited youths vandalize tamarin monkey cage, assault tamarins, who escape. Monkeys later recaptured, caging of youths imminent.

Amend the constitution, overturn Kelo v. New London.

"The Founders cannot have intended this perverse result"

Kelo-empowered developers likened to 800-pound gorilla in your tree.

Amend the constitution, overturn Kelo v. New London.

Job Opening next year!

Philadelphia Zoo's President, Alexander L. "Pete" Hoskins (and is it weird to spell out someone's name and then stick the nickname in?) announces he's leaving come Spring.

Amend the constitution, overturn Kelo v. New London.

"Gorillas act as a fundamental engine for the national economy"

Rwanda's gorilla-naming ceremony today!

Amend the constitution, overturn Kelo v. New London.

Friday, June 24, 2005

"reputedly inspired by a visit Boulle made to a zoo"

Planet of the Apes is remembered.

Amend the constitution, overturn Kelo v. New London.

"agreed to pay Rodger's medical bill"

Quarantine for Kentucky bitey monkey Boo-Boo.

Amend the constitution, overturn Kelo v. New London.

"crusade for the enforcement of wildlife law in Cameroon"

Last Great Ape Organisation lauded, but not, it seems, feted.

Amend the constitution, overturn Kelo v. New London.

"Who designed the Designer?"

The way I'm reading this, the prime mover that ID'ers won't name is Gutzon Borglum.

Amend the constitution, overturn Kelo v. New London.

"put a human face to this story"

One constructive response to Kelo.

Amend the constitution, overturn Kelo v. New London.

"Martha was hiding it from us"

Western lowland gorilla born at Gladys Porter Zoo in Brownsville, TX.

Amend the constitution, overturn Kelo v. New London.

"scaled his high school in a gorilla mask"

No Accelerated Rehabilitative Disposition for gorilla-on-the-roof boy.

Amend the constitution, overturn Kelo v. New London.

"not suitable as pets"

Lemur breeder has success in UK.

Amend the constitution, overturn Kelo v. New London.

Thursday, June 23, 2005

"a feisty eight-month-old owl monkey named Tulip"

Monkey-napping reported in Fort Lauderdale, FL!

Amend the constitution, overturn Kelo v. New London.

"the smallest monkeys in the world"

Australia's Mogo Zoo adds two pygmy marmosets and a cotton top tamarin.

Amend the constitution, overturn Kelo v. New London.


So, what it takes is what it takes. This must not stand.

"drug kingpins with private zoos"

Gladys Porter Zoo in Brownsville, TX well-stocked with seized wildlife.

"they should not chase them away or try to catch them"

Baboon on the loose in South African neighborhood.

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

"Bush, the most inarticulate ape to ever pre-empt prime time"

Unleash Howard Dean, Republicans are scared of him!

Also, Michael Moore's not fat, but festively plump.

"I wouldn't want to be on the sidewalk"

Monkey more popular than liberal author David Sedaris.

"the Hydrilla Gorilla"

"How dare you do well while doing good?" demand Jacksonville, TX city officials. We're the government, trust us.

"jailed for allegedly killing four endangered lowland gorillas"

Perhaps you'll consider alternatives to your gorilla-viewing adventure holiday in Democratic Republic of Congo.

"A vet was summoned to dart it"

South African capital inconvenienced by monkey escape from Johannesburg Zoo.

"starting work on an adventure playground"

Gorillas at UK's Paignton Zoo get help from Royal Navy volunteers.

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

"We did this for self-gratification"

North Carolina schoolkids sell sweatshop T-shirts to save the rainforest.

"humans have no natural immune response to chimpanzee diseases"

International Aids Vaccine Initiative seeks to put Bill Gates/Elton John money where their mouth is, fund GlaxoSmithKline attempt to use modified chimpanzee adenovirus to deliver HIV/Aids vaccine.

"The hating community is the most vociferous"

Baboon menace in South Africa. Root causes are considered, "why do they hate us?" is asked. Observer status in the General Assembly is next.

Thanks to Harvey for the pointer, I keep meaning to add baboon to my searches.

"a random instrument of the human experimenter"

Desmond Morris kept a big human thumb in the paint while Congo the chimpanzee "made art," says Spiked Culture.

Monday, June 20, 2005

"will gather outside the BIO Conference"

PETA loons to pester Philadelphia biomedical conference.

"provoking agitated locals to gherao the superintendent"

Monkey-chasing plumber falls through ceiling in Indian Hospital, patient injured. This man is being sought by police to assist in their inquiries.

"biting and clawing almost 60 people in 10 days"

Indian police, civilians, attacked by monkeys. Forest department officials unresponsive.

"We had no idea what these things were worth"

Three of Congo the chimpanzee's paintings fetch $26,352 at auction, Renoir and Warhol fail to meet reserve.

Sunday, June 19, 2005

"I'm sure other auction houses think this is completely mad"

Three 1957 paintings by Congo the chimpanzee to be auctioned in London.

Believe it or else

60 Minutes correspondent Christiane Amanpour talks about monkeys.

"heavily penalized if they changed tires"

MonkeyWatch prediction: nobody will choose to visibly sit it out, but a few unlikely "transmission ignition failures" aren't impossible.

Oh, and while I'm at it, we're not laughing with you, we're laughing at you, Bib!

Update: I'm wrong as wrong can be. All fourteen cars on Michelin tires went to the garage before the start of the race. The six Ferrari, Jordan, and Minardi cars, on Bridgestones, race. Fans, sponsors, advertisers, not amused.

Sissy Willis relays an eyewitness report.

Teams blame the FIA.
Michelin blames the FIA.
Indianapolis Motor Speedway blames the FIA, Michelin, and the teams.
Max blames the teams.
JV blames Michelin, Ferrari.
Minardi principal Stoddart blames Max, Jordan.

Debacle, fiasco, farce.

"You cannot impulsively buy a monkey"

Pennsylvanian graphic designer, inspired by her Capuchin monkey, creates and markets cafepress line of monkey-themed swag, which you can impulsively buy.

"found the mangabey waiting outside a door to the exhibit"

Opening of San Diego Zoo's new Monkey Trails and Forest Tales exhibit marred by escape of golden-bellied mangabey. After a quick peek at San Diego, mangabey demands back in.

"The monkeys dictate what happens"

Florida's DuMond Conservancy for Primates and Tropical Forests considered as a source of lessons for Father's Day.

"I don't think he's going to let go"

South Africa continues to hang on to “Taiping Four” gorillas, Cameroon continues to demand their return, International Primate Protection League and others continue to issue demands. No news.

Saturday, June 18, 2005

"cute as babies, but that changes enormously"

Birkenstock & tie-die crowd threatens boycott of Italian fashion purveyors who dared feature a chimpanzee in ads.

"information from credible sources"

Alabama's Birmingham News notices Natalee Holloway coverage from MonkeyWatch favorites Scared Monkeys and Riehl World View.

"It is not done in dark alleys during the night"

Much is made of the market prices for the illegal trade in gibbons, siamangs, and orangutans, but we don't learn if the prices are up or down.

"encourage more people to visit"

Ghana Tourist Board calls for volunteers to serve as tour guides at Boabeng-Fiema Monkey Sanctuary, other sites. Also
Fetish priests and priestesses capable of healing chronic diseases, which are challenges to medical doctors, should publicise their shrines so they could be recognized as tourist centres.

"Don’t bring your monkey"

All animals banned from all festivals in city parks in Fort Wayne, IN.

Friday, June 17, 2005

Fraud at the Polls!

Elephant beats out Kiku the colobus monkey for Oregon Zoo's 2005 Zoo Father of the Year.

"a key date on the international conservation calendar"

Rwandan government to take charge of national gorilla naming.

"spider monkeys don't touch the ground for the first year of life"

Employee at North Dakota's Chahinkapa Zoo fosters spider monkey rejected by mother.

"so-called environmentalists and wildlife enthusiasts"

India's Loreto College, unable to rid itself of menacing monkeys, threatens closure.

"It's a magical experience"

UK's Trentham Gardens wildlife park rife with Barbary Macaques.

"The monkey is easier to shoo away"

Given his druthers, a Bhutanese farmer prefers chasing monkeys to chasing boars.

Thursday, June 16, 2005

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

"The little one has yet to be named"

Australia's Perth Zoo has new baby Sumatran orangutan.

Update: Oooh, guilt. And palm-oil.

"zoo officials here are keeping their options open"

India's Lucknow Zoo makes hay while the zebra glut lasts. Delhi wants to trade a chimpanzee, Thiruvananthapuram is offering a pair of ostriches and a name change.

"Space monkey seized"

Rhesus monkey (Macaca mulatta) confiscated from pet store in Al Ain, United Arab Emirates. Not, despite the title, this Space Monkey!

"Henry Doodle is famous for orangutans"

A student's report on a visit to Nebraska's Henry Doorly Zoo.

"Possibly the most hideous sauce ever concocted"

Via, Kitsch'n'Zinc harms no monkeys making monkey gland sauce.

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

"a pathogen that began its life in an animal"

Genetically engineered tomato and tobacco hopeful for SARS vaccine.

"But the PhyloCode is meeting resistance"

Overreaching cladists attempt to overturn Linnaean taxonomy.

"Monkeys are so smart"

Kentucky seeks ban on pet monkeys. Also bears and snow leopards.

"DeBrazza monkeys can live up to 20 years in zoos"

Or 17, as the case may be. (scroll down to DeBrazza monkey dies at Woodland Park Zoo)

Monday, June 13, 2005

"on the roof when a number of monkeys charged towards him"

Human fatality in Indian monkey menace.

"We have nothing to indicate that sexual abuse of orang-utans is happening systematically"

Rescuing orangutans in Borneo.

"they really didn’t give a monkey’s"

Yeah, these sorry specimens will solve poverty without nasty capitalism. Idiots.

"the lush lung of crammed Central Mumbai"

Makeover for India's Byculla Zoological Garden.

Nobody told me Bombay's been renamed to Mumbai!

"the quintessential adventure film"

1932's Tarzan the Ape Man* to be shown Saturday, July 2 at MASS MoCA with a brand new original score performed by Mocean Worker (whose driver's license says Adam Dorn).

* a talkie, generally shown without accompaniment.

"100 percent effective in blocking transmission of simian immunodeficiency virus"

AIDS activists protest tests of HIV-preventive pill.

"awaiting the green light to test it on humans"

Vietnam successfully tests bird flu vaccine on chickens. Presumably not the vaccine they promised last month to abandon, though the timing suggests that that is exactly what it is.

Update: Avian Flu - What we need to know is on the case.

Never Mind the Crazy Frog

Here's the "Endangered Species Mating Calls" ringtones.

"I thought it was a cat"

Japanese authorities still stymied by Tokyo's monkey on the loose.

"This scandal must be stopped"

German fondness for paper goods at fault for "gradual extinction" of Borneo orangutans, says German chapter of the World Wildlife Fund.

"It was a little freaky"

Just innocent fun, says actress Kristin Davis.

Sunday, June 12, 2005

"threatened or endangered"

Oregon Zoo successfully gins up a moment of publicity with "Zoo Father of the Year" contest. Winner of just-completed "Zoo Mother of the Year" not named.

"my life has been devastated"

Virginia Brauer, who left cage doors unlatched at her Animal Haven Ranch, permitting California chimp attack, declares herself the victim, seeks to evict Moe, blameless chimp.

"How's Moe?'

St. James Davis, victim of Califoria chimp attack, out of induced coma, making slow progess.

"trying to reduce the idea that they're pets"

Chicago's Brookfield Zoo launches gorilla-naming contest.

"You teach a monkey step by step"

What goes on in the years it takes to train a helper monkey.

Saturday, June 11, 2005

"We need to find out more about this"

Little Rock Zoo's anteater population all dead of canine distemper, not previously known to infect anteaters.

"We have four baby baboons"

The animals have one thing on their minds at Nevada's Sierra Safari Zoo.

Friday, June 10, 2005

Got it!

Ever since I saw it, it's been bothering me that I knew that facial expression, I'd seen it before, but I hadn't a clue where. Tonight, I remembered:

John Candy's Johnny LaRue!

"a happy, stress-free bunch"

San Diego Zoo hopes to learn why Singapore Zoological Gardens monkeys are so calm.

"it’s probably monkeys"

Monkey menace in Shimla, India: an overview.

"In some cases, it will blow their minds away"

Queen of the Chimps. Dr. Doolittle. Alla da same-same.

"on the edge of the Bwindi Impenetrable National Forest"

In between performing dental work, go look at gorillas. In between gorilla viewings, go pull some teeth.

Thursday, June 09, 2005

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Monkey business afoot at Ground Zero!

Take Back The Memorial
via Sissy Willis.

"It was a very big monkey"

Retired veterinarian has stories to tell.

No monkey for you!

UK's International Fund for Animal Welfare demands ban on pet monkey trade.

"I am going to throw my son the first banana!"

Open-wheeler Tony Kanaan in publicity stunt at Dallas Zoo.

"the apes could be wiped out before they reveal their secrets"

AIDS researchers rush to study SIV-infected chimpanzees "before chimpanzees become extinct". And before the PETA loons outlaw research, I guess, tho' that's not mentioned.

in loco parentis

Workers at Maryland Zoo raise Rosie the chimp since her mother won't.

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

Monday, June 06, 2005

"how to build self-esteem in a child with a disability"

Dr. Duncan McKinlay, Canadian Psychologist and Tourette's Syndrome sufferer, speaks to local conference.


"monkey population is rising"

"The increase in the number of monkeys is the prime reason for conflicts between man and monkey," says India's deputy chief wildlife warden of Calcutta State forest department, V.K. Yadav. An action plan is being drawn up to study the problem further.
On Monday, a tranquilisation programme was organised in Garchumuk, Howrah.

“We will seek the advice of experts on sterilisation before implementing any scheme,” a forest official said. A detailed report will be prepared and sent to the state government and Union ministry of environment and forest.
They're doomed.

"Monkey Meat Marinade"

No monkeys are harmed in the making of this recipe.

"vile disinformation campaigns"

Covance sues PETA.

"described as a cross between a kangaroo, a cat and a monkey"

Mystery critter roams the Scottish night.


Cat-bloggers may be especially interested in Baboon Pirate's Great Cat Treat Challenge, where kitty treats are taste-tested by cats and El Capitan.

"We urge the public not to feed monkeys or go near them"

If you see a monkey walking towards you, just cross the street. Good advice here as well as in Hong Kong.

"Kevin looks fine"

Northern Ireland's escaped monkey back home. Zoo looks for new home for him.

Sunday, June 05, 2005

"a virus that could be fatal to the human body"

Formosan macaques in and around Taiwan's Shou Shan infected with cercopithecine herpesvirus. Council of Agriculture to decide their fate.

"an industrialist, Narendra Singh, was attacked by monkeys"

India's Ropar District Administration ignores monkey menace while sterilizing stray dogs.

"it will be some time before the vaccines can be used in people"

Canadian team reports promising results of monkey tests of Ebola and Marburg vaccines.

Friday, June 03, 2005

Thursday, June 02, 2005

"zoos are cleaner, safer and more humane than ever"

Infighting among Phoenix Zoo veterinary department gets PETA loons hopes up.

"She lives with four other orangutans"

Gypsy, orangutan at Japan's Tama Zoo, makes herself useful.

"They're building a tree"

Pack a lunch and take in the sights at Niabi Zoo in Coal Valley, Illinois.

"Kamili the gorilla turns 18"

Northern Ireland's Belfast Zoo to hold birthday party for gorilla this weekend, while acting nonchalant about true intentions of Mojo, escaped colobus monkey.

"problems are of varied nature at railway stations"

Monkey menace but one of the problems plaguing India's railroads.

"My mate's a Primate"

Animal Defenders International wants an end to the use of primates for medical and scientific experiments, but people get more upset about silly I.D. advocates.

"He says he wasn't intimidated by the vandals"

ALF vandals intimidate man.

"Joan B. Kroc's Monkey Trails and Forest Tails"

San Diego Zoo refurbished with massive influx of burger money.

"spontaneous numerical abilities"

Monkeys: cleverer than you thought.

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

Yet Another Sulzberger?

Speciesist swine!

Detroit Zoological Society elects new Chairman of the Board. Big surprise, a human, again!

"could cost as much as $50 million"

Indianapolis Zoo bullish on gorillas.

"Zoo & Aquarium Month"

Humane Society of Canada goes anti-zoo.

"These parks have become a theater of war"

Game wardens at Congo's Virunga National Park honored for bravery.

"Quite frankly, he was a terrible example of taxidermy"

UK art critic empathizes.

"with long sharp teeth"

South African town of Zeerust terrorised by baboons.

"we're willing to put our money where our mouth is"

Whose money?

"a species from the Congo swamp forests that likes to dive and swim"

Baby Allen's swamp monkey at Ohio's Toledo Zoo doing well.

"He knows the zoo"

Belfast Zoo's escaped monkey reportedly lurking near zoo, may be plotting mass breakout!