Goodbye, Kambula

32-year-old gorilla suffering abdominal abscesses, heart disease, and declining health is euthanized at Fort Worth Zoo in Texas.

It'll also monitor volcanos

Mesa, AZ police want 100k of federal tax money to pay for a helper monkey which'll be like a police robot, but smarter.

“We will give them all the monkeys they want”

Patas monkeys from Puerto Rico find a new home at Baghdad Zoo.

"one in 38 million''

Dung-flinging MSM attempts to blame CT chimp attack on Republicans.

“All Pets Crematory in Stamford”

Violent chimp Travis cremated.

Stay alive, don't buy Chinese!

Various Toys Recalled by CBB Group Due to Choking Hazard and Violation of Lead Paint Standard

“legislation to ban the transport of monkeys and apes”

I'll call it the monkey/mann act.

“Chilean varietals and a Spanish Cava”

Orangutan-themed wine, with a percent for Orangutan Outreach.

The three-legged box turtle has a permit though, so we're safe there

Officials who cash paychecks to keep Connecticut safe still unable to certify state free of unlicensed menacing primates!

“One day he was going to explode”

From Frans de Waal to Priscilla Feral, celebrities who like to talk about animals say their piece about the Stamford chimpanzee mauling.

“I had mine peeled to one side”

Chimpanzee-attack survivor St. James Davis speaks after the similar Connecticut attack.

“he doesn't expect to get the hat back”

Steel cowboy hat stolen from concrete gorilla in Rock Springs Wyoming.

Stay alive, don't buy Chinese!

Old Navy Recalls Stuffed Toys; Button Eyes Can Detach and Pose a Choking Hazard to Young Children

“and shot him with a tranquilizer dart”

Emboldened by Connecticut mayhem, a rare De Brazza's monkey makes a misguided escape attempt from WA's Woodland Park Zoo.

“No one has applied to own a chimpanzee”

Exotic animals bans: what animals you can and cannot have as pets in Connecticut.

“but nothing was ever done”

Surprise! Travis the out-of-control chimp had attacked before.

Stay alive, don't buy Chinese!

True Value Recalls Wheelbarrows; Over-Inflated Tire Can Cause Wheel to Break and Pose Injury Hazard

“He was a very friendly monkey”

India discovers schadenfreude.

Outrage!

Continuing: Victim's injuries remind me of those of St. James Davis. I'm not the first to notice.

“her pet had been agitated so she gave it tea and a sedative”

Chimp amok story continues to dominate Connecticut news, watercooler conversation.

Update: News travels.

further update: Grandfathered from days before ape ban passed, says NBC.

Update again: Xanax or not Xanax.

“the ape badly mauled a friend of its owner”

Connecticut quivers as "tame" chimpanzee goes berserk. I bet Chris Dodd is to blame, somehow.

It's a girl!

Washington DC's National Zoo announces that the gorilla born there last month is a girl.

“Happily, this may not be as sordid as it sounds”

Pubic lice (Pthirus pubis) evolved from gorilla lice (Pthirus gorillae)!

Stay alive, don't buy Chinese!

Disney Store Recalls Toy Tool Sets Due to Choking Hazard

Happy Birthday, dear Charles!

February 12 is Charles Darwin's birthday. As mentioned last year, today you're entitled to punch Ben Stein, if you can catch him.

Stay alive, don't buy Chinese!

Maybe we could sell them some peanut butter!

Golfer’s Billiard Games Recalled by Dick's Sporting Goods and Golf Galaxy Due to Violation of Lead Paint Standard

Camp Stoves Sold Exclusively at Dick’s Sporting Goods Recalled Due to Burn Hazard

Catalina Lighting Recalls Halogen Clamp Lamps Due to Fire and Burn Hazard; Sold Exclusively At Staples Stores

“a repertoire of 102 different signals”

Gorilla language innate, experts say.

With her cat, Tondaleyo's Kitty

Tondaleyo, Orangutan at Panama City Beach FL's ZooWorld, celebrates her 50th birthday.

“the gorillas might try to walk on the ice”

UK's Bristol Zoo falls prey to the frigid curse of Al Gore.

Stay alive, don't buy Chinese!

One more!

Intermatic Recalls Digital Timers Due to Shock Hazard.

Truth to power, man

I endorse this act of vandalism.

Stay alive, don't buy Chinese!

JAKKS Pacific® Recalls Spa Factory™ Aromatherapy Kits Due to Explosion and Projectile Hazards

DDI Inc. Recalls Toy Construction Play Sets Due to Violation of Lead Paint Standard

Children’s Hooded Sweatshirts Recalled by Jerry Leigh of California Due to Strangulation Hazard

Dorel Juvenile Group Recalls Safety 1st Stair Gates Due to Fall Hazard

(I'm still thinking about the exploding aromatherapy kit!)

“monkeys are his favourite”

Make-A-Wish Foundation provides day of monkey fun for UK boy.

“the gorilla naming ceremony”

It's never too early to make your plans for Kwita Izina.

“Zoorotica”

MI's Binder Park Zoo plays host to people who like to watch.

Update: I got dibs on the eye-bleach concession!

“not a particularly popular tourist destination”

Thailand's Lopburi, where monkeys take charge.