But it does repeat on ya!

Cloned meat and milk to be declared safe by FDA.

“The monkeys fought back”

Texas pets, Opie and another monkey, tortured during home burglary.

“Wah, wow, hoo!”

Beware the plaintive song of the gibbon.

“photos and video of Samson when he was alive.”

25 after his death, Samson the Gorilla debuts at Ohio's Milwaukee Zoo.

“the forests where they naturally occur is disappearing”

Cotton top tamarins births reported at Australia's National Zoo and Aquarium.

“administering a banana laced with sedatives”

Indian youths accused of slipping a monkey a monkey and fixing him in a curry.

“better technical aspects, expertise, experience and putting the lowest bid”

Mumbai India's Byculla Zoo scheduled for major refurbishment

“That would include zookeepers”

Canada says “no thanks” to blood donations from professional monkey-handlers

“given a fertility drug”

MSM's failure to respect gorilla's privacy.

“Roots and Shoots youth leaders”

“Worldwide Youth Network Raises $40,000 to Help Orphan Chimpanzees in Africa&rdquo: we've been doing a first-class job orphaning chimpanzees without your help, thanks just the same!

“monkey cloning is important”

If South Korea suffers a monkey shortage, science will be ready to help.

“Animation fans everywhere are a little sadder today”

William Hanna, one of the founders of Hanna-Barbera, famous for Scooby-Doo (and Magilla Gorilla) dead at 95

“a burglary at the Captive Life Forms in Henrietta”

New York man offers reward for return of his family friend's tiny marmoset.

Update: Home safe

“ignoring Suzy in favor of the monkey”

Dear Abby reader: Mrs. Butinski Nosey Nebbish: stand up!

“create a society of which we can be proud”

Let's hurry up and surrender, it always worked in the past.

“He can survive anything”

Tarzan to get another turn.

“bombs away”

The habits of various animals disposing of their dung is considered.

“prosimians, not monkeys”

December 14 is officially Monkey Day!

and what about George Allen?

PETA demands ban on ownership of “macaca” monkeys in Wayne County, North Carolina, because of herpes B danger.

“...mortality rate of 70 percent”

Beware: exotic pets unsafe for your health!

“a happy day”

Amazing Animal Productions Inc chimpanzees to retire, to acclaim of animal rights pressure group and tame primatologists, who continue to pay undergraduates with Primate Chow and fish-sticks.

“more than a million years younger than earlier estimates”

“Little Foot” Australopithecine not human ancestor, scientist says.

Even the weather report is biased extreme left!

I wonder why this editorial isn't signed. Fear of having to stand behind it someday?

Unperson

Michael Crichton's latest novel Next and its orangutan narrator declared politically unsound due to previous novel, State of Fear's, failure to endorse global warming.

Update: Senators Rockefeller and Snowe to sponsor heresy trials.

“one of Africa’s last great untouched wildernesses”

Christmas vacation anong the chimpanzees in the National Park in Gabon.

“elephants, hyenas and baboons have wreaked havoc”

Life worsens for Kenya villagers.

“government debacles”

Rep. Henry Waxman (D-CA), rooting for truffles, Joe Lieberman (I-CT), not as harmless as he looks: politicos to watch in the coming year.

“chimpanzees have funeral rites and take away the bodies ”

Scientists ponder southeast Guinea's chimpanzee epidemic.

“threatened species like gorilla and chimpanzee”

“Bush-meat” draws ire of New York food-safety inspectors.

“But he was a fun drunk”

You'll have to aim low if you mean to spit back at Danny DeVito.

Update: George Clooney trots the chunder trail with Danny in impression of F. Scott and Zelda.

“whether you are descended from a Rhesus monkey, or just a plain Chimp”

Australia's man on the street.

Watch the sky. Keep watching the sky.

Congo gorillas imperiled by erupting volcano.

“the difference between the naked ape and the hairy ape”

Australia's Adelaide Zoo to add human enclosure to other great apes.

“on their native island of Borneo,”

48 ex-kickboxing orangutans repatriated from Thailand.

“delayed due to lack of travel documents.”

Thailand's Chiang Mai Night Safari Zoo agrees to return borrowed orangutans to their home in Indonesia. Eventually.

“auctioning the works to raise money”

Art by Janey, San Diego Zoo's painting orang-utan, is covered.

“a special program to raise funds”

North Carolina Zoo Society $45 “adoption” package includes plush chimpanzee, chimpanzee photograph, gift card and adoption certificate and funds toys, treats and training for chimpanzees and keepers.

“permission to euthanize animals deemed too sick or too injured to be rehabilitated”

Seven ex-OSU chimpanzees have been removed from Primarily Primates in San Antonio, TX for a court-ordered move to Chimp Haven in Shreveport, LA.

“their brains were slightly larger than ours”

Meet your Neanderthal relatives.

“last month, she pulled the alarm for the first time”

Panbanisha, Great Ape Trust of Iowa's bonobo, activates fire alarm again. Promised work on covering alarms to prevent repetition still pending.

“great care is taken to prepare goodies and sweets for the chimps”

Chimp Haven, a Louisiana facility that cares for retired medical-research chimpanzees, is portrayed.

“probably won’t be rescheduled”

“Today Show” and Colorado’s Cheyenne Mountain Zoo can't come to terms on agenda for news feature.

“The monkey of excessive profits is off the back of owners”

Another opportunity for readers to enjoy the benefits of buying their local newspaper.

“this one that really came out great”

Phoenix (Arizona) zoo orangutan and baby.

“a remarkable recovery”

Disabled ape Allie the orangutan making great strides at Great Ape Trust of Iowa.

“They could survive or even thrive in this type environment”

Stories of monkeys running free in the Louisiana woods are mocked.

“aggressive or playful”

Ben, 21-year-old male gorilla at Florida 's Jacksonville Zoo and Gardens, drowns in a moat during gorilla horseplay.

“jumped ship somewhere near the balmy climes”

China Shipping Lines monkey still missing.

“Now she will jump down on your lap and wait for you to do the same thing to her”

Life with a “Helping Hands” helper monkey is detailed.

Hmph! Cladists, I bet!!

Scientists view gorillas as possible HIV vector.

“Dumadi, which translates to "becoming" in an Indonesian language”

Father helps name motherless little orangutan.

“an attempt to identify the vicious animal”

Apparent monkey deemed a “small brown blur” threat to Sydney docking of Chinese container ship.

“estimated that in all 1,000 orangutans had died”

Dry season a bad time for Indonesia's orangutans.

Mad? You call me mad??

Idaho State University professor of anatomy, Jeffrey Meldrum, scorned for his unconventional views on Bigfoot, as seen on Discovery Channel.

“All of The Zoo’s chimps are accounted for”

Santa Rosa, FL, Sheriff’s Office on the lookout for mystery chimpanzee.

“and a black cape”

Ashtabula, OH, convenience store robbed by man wearing gorilla mask. (Or by gorilla wearing gorilla mask!)

“They will not step in our house and take that monkey”

Jake the monkey's new owner undaunted
by the first of what will be many, many monkey bites.

“Kali and Kazi”

Zoo Atlanta's twin gorillas celebrate their first birthday.

“she stepped into the lemur cage”

Oshkosh woman earns lemur's wrath.

“Such is life”

Leicester, VT's roadside concrete statue of gorilla holding a Volkswagen only a runner-up in contest to find America's quirkiest destination

“Man is their only predator”

Cameroon's Limbe Wildlife Centre awaits "Taiping Four" gorillas. Doesn't say that they're holding their breath, though.

“we don't think it should leave Ethiopia”

Fossil of Lucy Australopithecus afarensis (latin for “really old uncertain hominid species”) not to visit Smithsonian's National Museum of Natural History.

“thinking it was my son”

British tourist attacked by baboon at Cape Point.

Boo-hoo, poor me!

It seems that years of smoking and of living however I please has had a price. Not yet clear is just how high a price, but the next time I'm striking back.

“mother collapsed about one hour later and died”

Newborn orangutan at Fort Wayne, IN, Children’s Zoo, quickly orphaned.

If that's your idea of great!

Bonobo responsible for false alarm at Iowa's Great Ape Trust.

Still not dead

But back to the hospital tomorrowTuesday, I suspect.

An impending change to new blogger code may do some violence to the formatting.

Not dead

More to follow

“it is not open to the public except during invitation-only events”

New enclosure open at Kentucky's Primate Rescue Center.

“a new life at the Cefn-yr-Erw Primate Rescue Centre”

Baboons rescued after failure of Portugese zoo.

“I remember that monkey grabbing my ponytail”

Bypassed by time, New York's Catskill Game Farm closes.

Kecak and Tap Dance - Burat Wangi Spring Concert '05

Well, that was unusual.

“Veterinarians are working to find out why ”

Gorilla stillbirth at Cincinnati Zoo.

I don't approve

Perhaps I'm reading this wrong, but I think there's a decrease in free icecream!

“Small, low to the ground, and barren”

Vietnamese monkey-farming industry, which feeds UK's burgeoning requirements for research monkeys, meets professional complainers.

“monkeys are major pests”

Indian NGO urges export of enough monkeys to curb their population growth.

“my husband got threatened by a baboon”

Cape Town baboons and their supporters and detractors attract National Geographic attention.

“it's best for the animals”

Florida's Jacksonville Zoo and Gardens to send chimpanzees packing in favor of gorillas and bonobos.

“No one knows as from where do they come”

Mad monkey menace in India's Kanpur. Zoo gets unfairly blamed for wild monkeys.

“it uses all four limbs to launch an attack”

UK's Exmoor Zoo, plagued by thefts of small marmosets, replaces them with Black Howlers, alarm monkeys with a taste for self-defense.

“and orangutans”

Jane Goodall visits retired show-biz chimpanzees at C.H.E.E.T.A. Primate Sanctuary in Palm Springs, CA.

And Dave Thomas as the head ape keeper

Oregon Zoo to celebrate end of decades of “reminder” phone-calls.

“degrees in zoology, child psychology and anthropology”

(expert on chimpanzee culture William C. McGrew)

University of New Mexico to host expert on chimpanzee culture and seminar: “Thirty-five Years of Chasing Chimpanzees: Fifteen Terror-Filled Minutes of Catching One Lessons Learned & New Findings”

“and anything else I could get my hands on”

Ecological scare-monger David Suzuki seeks to drain off some fame and attention from Steve Irwin.

In Iowa? See apes, freely!

Great Ape Trust of Iowa extends free public tours through Nov. 16.

“Oh, he's absolutely a star here”

A look at 'Kwan', 17-year-old Western Lowland gorilla at Chicago's Lincoln Park Zoo and now a first-time father.

“police are still investigating”

Sabotage at Ontario, Canada's Riverview Park and Zoo as someone takes wire-cutters to the monkey cage. Monkeys unharmed.

“people have already come back to Bali”

6,400 performers in Bali Kecak  (monkey dance).

Barong; Gamelan Burat Wangi Spring Concert '06

Gamelan

“eradicate the menace”

Monkey menace unabated.

“face painter now has to warn children”

Monkey's from Britain's Twycross Zoo hate blue-faced kids.

“People are fed up”

India's monkey menace no respecter of persons: Vaishali District Magistrate Lalan Singh suffers bites and broken arm in monkey attack.

“students were still surprised by the Chimp Haven experience”

The chimpanzees of Chimp Haven, in Texas, are visited.

“and the Children’s International Peace Choir”

Julia Butterfly Hill's been pried out of her tree long enough to join Jane Goodall and the Peace Dove parade/juggernaut at Griffith Park in Los Angeles

“in honor of United Nations Peace Day”

Jane Goodall's “Roots & Shoots” groups to crush youthful hopes of a world without socialist oppression beneath deadly papier mache  wings of cynically-named “peace dove” in Sandwich, MA followed by lunch and show trials.

“in the Shanghai Wild Animal Park”

An example of why the world doesn't trust China on animal welfare in this picture from third China Animal Sports Meeting. The way they treat people's not so swell, either.

“he'll need a parent until he's 3 or 4 years old”

Umande, the little gorilla nobody loved, finds home in Ohio's Columbus Zoo.

Goodbye, Moko

Moko, 44-year-old silverback gorilla at New Mexico's Rio Grande Zoo, dead of age-related heart failure.

“it is either a success or failure”

“America should withdraw from the U.N. and make it into a zoo”: Indeed!

“we listened to a lot of Rolling Stones while we were working”

Article that features an interview with the author of Sock Monkey Dreams.

“Much of the country's fertilizer supply would now have to be imported”

Zimbabwe Agriculture Minister Joseph Made blames damage at Sable Chemicals plant fertilizer plant in Kwekwe on suicidal monkey bent on electrocution.

“Chronic Binge Ethanol Consumption Accelerates Progression of Simian Immunodeficiency Virus Disease”

If your monkey is infected with Simian Immunodeficiency Virus Disease, control his intake of alcohol, scientist cautions.

“predators like rats, monkeys and cats”

Monkeys implicated in the eating of the Pink Pigeon of Mauritius, perhaps the world's rarest pigeon.

“I started organizing it last year”

Canadian woman seeks funds to send Ugandan children to chimpanzee camp.

“exposing the monkey menace”

Via Frank J. at IMAO, ex-sportscaster Olbermann, tragic sufferer of steroid abuse, reveals Washington's inside secret: Chris Wallace is a monkey posing as a newscaster!

Update: Via Allahpundit , Olbermann is accused of anti-semitism for his “macaca moment”.

“the shooting dead of a Barbary Ape”

Man charged in Gibraltar ape-killing.

It's already too late to save Ginger Baker, but with your help...

Saving Borneo's orangutans may require conservationists to form supergroup, increase of government funds.

“a bacterial infection similar to tuberculosis in one lung”

Elderly Bill the chimp at California's Eureka zoo responding well to antiobotic regimen.

“Feinstein and Schwarzenegger”

Primate Torture: Another purity test, and another big name Democrat is found wanting, by SF.Indymedia's contributors.

Watermelon in Easter Hay, May 17 1988, Barcelona, Spain

No monkey content, but I don't care.

(If the embedded player's behaving badly, view it on YouTube itself.

“paid hacks, con artists, and liars”

The party of slavery, segregation, and sedition libels the National Black Republican Association and OpEdNews.com is there to help.

“I've run past baboons, animals like that”

North Carolina State University professor of zoology says “watch out for owls”, I say don't run around in the dark: owl attacks don't happen during the day.

“under what rules do we arrest a simian?”

If this Deutsche Presse Agentur story is to be believed, a monkey in India's northern Uttar Pradesh state has strangled a 16-year-old girl and police have declined to pursue her killer.

“he slapped the fool out of me”

Animal control officer in Tennessee recaptures escaped pet monkey, feeds him marshmallow snackies, then takes a monkey-slapping when the treats run out.

“members of the banana family”

Kansas City Zoo is gifted with big honkin' bird of paradise plant for its yet-to-be-built tropical monkey house.

“It screamed and moved uncomfortably”

Caterwauling young chimpanzee rescued from illegal ape trade in Uganda.

“We thought there was a niche in the market”

Anti-American simian bias runs wild as UK's Monkey News Network for 2.5G mobile phones weds animated monkey presenters with a live audio news feed from Reuters.

Jejune

Emboldened by the coke-addled ranting of Castro's hebephrenic mini-me, this New Yorker demonstrates why you were warned against eating the brown acid.

“we’ve become pretty adept at spotting your average story-telling fool”

Appalachian Trail Sasquatches sought in Western North Carolina.

“Bakari”

Cincinnati Zoo's Baby Boy Gorilla gets a name.

the ape-man species represented by "Lucy"

Remarkably complete skeleton of three-year-old Australopithecus afarensis  female found in Ethiopia.

“colour DSTV screen and gym equipment”

Gorilla and chimpanzees at South Africa's Johannesburg Zoo get enrichment goods.

“she didn’t want the responsibility of raising him”

7-month-old Umande: the little gorilla nobody loved.

“Somebody should do something”

Ape attacks four year old girl on Gibraltar.

“their behaviour was unpredictable”

Monkeys in the ‘burbs causes concern in South Africa's KwaZulu-Natal province.

“could face 15 to 21 months”

Philadelphia women charged with selling colobus monkey parts, other prohibited impedimenta.

“it would be sad to lose this classic”

Busch Gardens takes out demolition permits in plan to replace Python coaster with orangutan!

“I have monkeys in my pants”

The tale of a demented animal-smuggler.

Won't someone think of the caribou?

Still holding a grudge over losing out on 49th state honors, Hawaiian democrat goes all indigenous against ANWR oil drilling.

“it either left the area or was found by someone”

A spider monkey may have been spotted in Bridgewater, PA, on Sep 8. But not again.

“Calorie Restriction Attenuates Alzheimer’s Disease Type Brain Amyloidosis in Squirrel Monkeys”

Feed a cold, starve Alzheimer's.

Trunk Monkey gets strict

“considerable pressure to be seen to be taking action”

Disciplinary action threatened after spate of escapes from UK's Dalton Zoo.

“the ultimate furry status symbol in the tough Paris suburbs”

Barbary ape found dead in Paris suburb did not have rabies, say officials, but what did kill it, <<<gallic shrug>>>

“Family members said Rose's anxiety is disabling”

Missouri woman wants “service-animal” status and restaurant privileges for her bonnet macaque monkey because of his calming influence.

“went missing a week ago”

Lost toy monkey sought in Palo Alto, CA.

Update: All's well, boy and toy monkey reunited.

“taking the cake that was to be for my grandchild's fourth birthday”

Letter-to-the-editor writer tormented by suburban monkeys.

“the animals are threatened with extinction”

Tanzania's Mahale Mountain National Park chimpanzees threatened by mysterious disease.

“aggressively treating it with antibiotics”

60-year-old Bill the chimpanzee at California's Sequoia Park Zoo treated for long-standing bacterial infection.

“Sayang is pregnant”

December orangutan birth expected at Indiana's Fort Wayne Children’s Zoo.

“evidence from a cave”

Gibraltar said to have been the final realm of the Neanderthals.

“establish a public council for animal welfare”

Pressure brought to bear on Israel's Mazor Primate Breeding Farm.

“NBC 10 wants your input”

TV station has a caption contest for a picture of a pile of Barbary macaques at the Prague Zoo.

“a world of rapidly dwindling natural resources”

Sourh Africa's advocate for baboons Jenni Trethowan is idolized, those not convinced of primacy of rights of their Papio ursinus  neighbors (and their long fangs), derided as irate primate-haters.

“running and jumping amidst the canopy”

Lemurs frolic at Miller Park Zoo in Bloomington, IL.

“they're cute and fluffy and as manic as I am”

She loves lemurs.

“the chimps are fine where they are”

PETA rebuffed, judge keeps ex-OSU chimpanzees at Primarily Primates sanctuary in Boerne, TX.

“Mr. Kjonaas was drunk on power”

AR thugs draw four-to-six for conspiracy and interstate stalking.

“could spend up to 93 days in jail”

Battle Creek, MI, couple charged for illegally keeping snakes, birds, monkeys, &c.

“while 70 children were studying”

Eager for knowledge, baboons crash into a South African school. “Sniffer dogs and teargas” (which strikes me as a poor combination) were used to clear them out.

I question the timing!

Earth's inflatable ape population imperiled by global helium shortage!

Again, with the trunk monkey

“still shocked over the incident.”

Lawsuit planned by woman hit by monkey-thrown rock at Rio de Janeiro Zoo

“a cheeky chappy with a great personality”

UK zoo monkey “Sponge Bob” moves to Battersea Zoo after being rejected by his troop following his return from being monkeynapped.

“violent spasms, balance problems while walking and a slurring of speech”

South African advocate for baboons Jenni Trethowan returns to hospital as symptoms of apparent dieldrin poisoning worsen.

“Nothing Is Missing from Lindsay's Handbag”

“Intact” would seem strangely inappropriate, though.

“two wild monkeys from Kurali and Morinda”

Monkeys biting children no barrier to rescue services of India's wildlife department.

Inquiring minds...

North America's great ape: Bigfoot or Ed Asner?

“Jeff Corwin posing with a chimpanzee”

Animal planet looks to fill Steve Irwin's shoes.

“under light sedation and is feeding well”

Young baboon shot and critically wounded in suburbs of South Africa's Cape.

“I've been bitten by a chimpanzee, several species of monkeys”

A cheerleader for the badmouth Steve Irwin crew chimes in.

“unanimously rejected”

Primarily Primates Inc rejects proposed chimpanzees-to-Louisiana settlement.

Diebold

I bet somebody'd notice while you were doing this.

Metonymy

“Where was it when you saw it last?” is a strategy better suited to non-human great apes. We're better at “What did it look like when you saw it last?”

“cross roads as a group”

Scientists think they're so smart, but not one sees the merit in just teaching chimpanzees to use the crosswalk pedestrian button!

“she could give birth as soon as November”

Sekani, western lowland gorilla at the Little Rock Zoo, is pregnant. Story omits identification of father.

Kecak

I do understand that Kecak (Indonesia's Ramayana Monkey Chant) is a 20th-Century invention that owes more than a little to tourism, but I think MonkeyWatch is missing something without it.

(Wikipedia's say on Kecak.)

“dieldrin poisoning is the most likely cause”

Baboon advocate Jenni Trethowan suffers.

“it was not clear when”

South Africa's National Zoo repeats that it'll return the "Taiping Four" gorillas to the Limbe Animal Orphanage in the Cameroon. There's a future career at the UN for these folks, I think.

“there's never a dull moment”

North Carolina pet store keeper has a mission to rescue monkeys.

“trained the youngest langurs to let her brush their teeth”

Teaching animals to accommodate the veterinarians at Philadelphia Zoo.

Limacodidae

The "monkey slug" larva*: North America's strangest caterpillar.

“Animals rights activist applauded”

Eleven bonnet macaques (Macaca radiata)  retired from University of Colorado alcoholism study and transferred to Animal Protection Institute's Primate Sanctuary near Dilley, TX.

“leftover cash from the 2004 Democratic National Convention”

Gorillas at Chicago's Boston's Franklin Park Zoo to get more elbow room.

Update: Changes will include display of “Little Joe”, who in 2003 leapt a 12-foot moat to escape his enclosure and injure two.

“due lack of a enough bullets”

Killing of over 50 monkeys by Ugandan vermin guards plays second fiddle to shooting of 35-year-old man-eating crocodile.

“the males have had vasectomies”

Save the Chimps refuge in Florida plans to grow to become the world's largest chimpanzee refuge by 2008.

“International Primate Day”

Nancy Pelosi allies with Twiggy, Alexei Sayle, Jenny Seagrove, Carol Royle, Uri Geller, and other advanced thinkers, in hopes of securing the non-human primate vote (which could have won the 2004 Presidential election for Howard Dean) for the Democratic party.

“The attitude of the zoo officials is shocking”

Zoo conditions at India's Jijamata Udyan shock activists.

“even small children have been bitten by monkeys”

Zoos houses of horror for your kids, says Canadian Letter-to-Editor writer.

“and actor William H. Macy narrates the series”

PBS "Curious George" series has a voice actor to make monkey noises, and not speak.

I question the timing.

“Many people in my area have been bitten by monkeys”

India's monkey nightmare continues.

“the only great ape for which there is no genome sequencing program to date”

Max Planck Institute (MPI) for Evolutionary Anthropology to elicit the genome sequence of the randy Bonobo.

“A tamarin monkey from South America”

Via Monkeys In The News, ugly monkey seized in Northern Ireland.

“They do attack, and quite viciously”

South African home zoo full of South and Central American monkeys.

“a 23-year-old promise”

Jane Goodall never forgets.

“never been done before”

Malaysian experiment seeks to find if two scientists per orangutan is sufficient for teaching the orange apes to live in the wild.

“No one's read it”

Resolution said to be near in disposition of OSU/Primarily Primates chimpanzees.

“attacked by a monkey two weeks ago”

Victim of Tennessee monkey attack said to be improving.

“so that this does not happen to another child”

In the aftermath of Tuesday's Chicago Spider Monkey attack, U.S. Humane Society calls for Illinois to outlaw pet primates.

“tear apart and eat a colobus monkey”

Tanzania's chimpanzees may lull you into a false sense of peaceful security, maintaining which will require careful pruning of your memories.

“a Marine, a cop, a firefighter”

Captain Jack O'Connor, NY firefighter who named Pattycake, first gorilla born in New York City, dead after a short illness

“You could leave it in the box”

A little gorilla robot you can call your own.

“resting before consulting her lawyers”

Baboon Matters group seeks funds to offer reward for South Africa's Dieldrin poisoner.

Ashley says doctors did not confirm that Jenni was poisoned, as she refused to undergo a painful bone-marrow test. "We all know what happened though," Ashley says

Cats falsely blamed!

Giant meat-eating birds of prehistory: why Thanksgiving dinner is only fair play.

“options like the monkey bucks make it interesting”

Imminent demise of eBay predicted.

“great similarity between human and chimpanzee behaviour”

Tell a chimpanzee a secret, he'll pass it along.

Oh, right-thinking readers take note: don't tell George Allen about “Chinese Whispers”

“bitten to the bone”

Chicago teen injured in spider monkey rampage.

More.

“release these elder chimpanzees before it is too late”

Project R&R: Release and Restitution for Chimpanzees in U.S. Laboratories wants release of long-serving experimental chimps (along with a companion or family member)and pays for survey supporting same.

The continuing saga...

“Belgian Farm House Ale ”

North Carolina's Edenton Brewing Company announces release of Surrender Monkey.

It's not a buffet. Also

It's not a Swiss picnic!
It's not a Pig Pickin'!
It's not an Oyster Festival in a month without an "R"!
It's not a Syrian Taffy pull!
It's not a Scientologist Clam Bake!

Sarah Bernhardt still dead

Dieldrin-poisoned baboon Angelina Ballerina exhumed and incinerated. Dieldrin-poisoned baboon monitor Jenni Trethowan discharged from ICU, hospital

“sitting under a tree”

Arizona's stolen scrap-metal gorilla found unharmed, returned to owner.

“It was so embarrassing”

Holidaymaker on Gibraltar claims expensive wig stolen by Barbary apes, in front of witnesses.

“In the ‘60s, we were all searching for alternate lifestyles”

A moment of incautious youthful experimentation condemns California man to a monkey-besotted lifetime of organ-grinding.

“Don't touch him and don't make eye contact”

At Wild Things Exotic Animal Orphanage, in Massachusetts, there are primates everywhere you look and plenty of expertise at working the system.

“terrible pets”

Don't get a pet monkey until you're clear on what you're getting into (“including macaques”).

Awwww

Warding off exploration by thieving orangutans a constant, and losing, battle at Borneo's Tanjung Puting National Park.

“two-time Pulitzer Prize winner”

Sudanese government detains National Geographic reporter Paul Salopek and charges him with espionage

“and incinerated”

Body of Angelina Ballerina, South African baboon dead of apparent dieldrin poisoning, to be exhumed after fears of burial site contamination by the persistent Organochloride pesticide.

“a common virus which is latent in a high percentage of people”

South Africa's advocate for baboons, Jenni Trethowan, apparently suffering dieldin poisoning, diagnosed with cytomegalovirus, a serious risk to those with an unhealthy immne system.

“help them maximize their potential”

Math Monkey: Vedic math scam hopes for what's in your wallet.

“being at close quarters with an adult male gorilla”

If you didn't know better, you'd forget that these “gentle giants” could peel you like a banana whenever the whim struck them.

“I don't kill or torture animals”

UCLA to take bold stand, at least on paper, against AR thugs. How it stands up, time will tell.

“one of the first outdoor venues”

Ohio's Cincinnati Zoo & Botanical Garden bans smoking on the grounds.

“this weekend”

Wichita's Sedgwick County Zoo offers cupcakes and reduced admission prices to celebrate 35th anniversary.

“damaged almost 40 per cent of their crop”

Coordination in India with monkey crop-raids in the day, boar crop-raids at night.

“a young female human-bonobo chimpanzee hybrid”

Since Fitzween was a bust, truthout turns to stranger fantasies.

Prizes!

Cincinnati Zoo and Botanical Garden holding gorilla-naming contest.

“neighbors miss him as well”

Scrap-metal gorilla sculpture eyesore swiped from Arizona lawn. Suspects not apparent.

“a huge trap is being readied”

The war with the monkeys may have already begun in the Indian town of Deogarh.

“On Monday I went downhill very quickly”

South Africa's advocate for baboons Jenni Trethowan is in the ICU with suspected pesticide poisoning. It's uncertain whether she could have picked this up from contact with poisoned baboons.

Everyone's a critic!

Chimpanzee at Little Rock Zoo beans documentary filmmaker Melanie Masino with softball-sized rock. Next week: Michael Moore vs. an enraged bull Hippopotamus in a Texas cage match.

“The Pygmy Marmoset”

Photos of thumb-sized newborn albino Pygmy Marmoset monkeys at Monkeys In The News.

Frank J. expresses concern about these readily-concealed "Saturday-night special" monkeys.

“human-to-monkey viral transmission”

Disease-ridden primates a risk to humans (and we to them!), experts warn.

“among the most intelligent of animals”

UK man arrested in Chessington World of Adventures monkey-napping.

“bad news, very bad news”

South Africa's baboon poisonings judged intentional.

Chimp being trained in martial arts!

Hey, it's not the end of the world!

Saudi baboon swipes cell from food-teaser in “the resort city of Taif”.

orangutans and bonobos

Iowa's Great Ape Trust announces $22,000 dollars in awards for Indonesian and African ape conservation programs.

Update: On a free tour of Great Ape Trust, maybe you'll learn if you're getting an award.

“It held my leg and I screamed for help”

Monkey chased away from Malawian runner.

“chimpanzees continued to find the hidden object”

Dogs marked down for having outsmarted experimental psychologist Jean Piaget.

“broken in a trap”

Successful foot surgery for Vietnamese red-shanked Douc langur is reported.

“Stick it in a banana and hand it to them”

Planning and preventing reproduction at Houston Zoo.

“Increased dendritic spine density”

Marmoset monkey fathers who carry their infants show changes in their puny monkey brains.

I wonder if this is how Hannibal started

Thailand's Chiang Mai Night Safari to send China 29 elephants and assorted chimpanzees, Douc langue monkeys, and a crocodile species.

“the discontinuous distribution of the nut-cracking behavior”

Research on chimpanzee use of stone hammers to crack open nuts to access the nutrient-rich seeds and transmission of that behavior. Nobody asks about chimpanzee use of stone hammers to crack open human skulls to access the nutrient-rich sweet, sweet goo inside which'd be the first behavior I'd worry about chimpanzees transmitting.

“It's important to maintain such relations”

An uneasy peace prevails in Japan's Hodaka mountain range between climbers and groups of wild monkeys.

“a surprising place with a unique history”

Malaysia's Semenggok reserve rehabilitates orangutans for life in the wild.

For the children!

It's all very clean and educational at Singapore Zoo.

“he was hand-raised in the home of a German woman”

Singapore Zoo's Charlie the Orangutan learning to fit in.

“fibrosing cardiomyopathy”

What's killing the great apes of the world's zoos?

“we had stopped using the langur wallah's services”

Monkeys take to India's Delhi Metro train service in numbers

“I will always remember the intensity of the stare”

Trekking to meet East Africa's gorillas.

“claiming dolphins are marine dimwits”

Pro-cetacean forces under attack by primate advocates.

“ESTROGEN FOR MONKEYS”

Caring for geriatric animals at Arkansas's Little Rock Zoo.

“we felt this would help her status within the group”

Mother of dead gorilla baby at Calgary Zoo gains gorilla troupe cred, says Calgary Sun.

Like a handle, I bet

Javanese long-tailed monkey under extinction threat.

“pretty cute”

Cincinnati Zoo and Botanical Garden exhibits male gorilla born earlier this week, as-yet-unnamed

“very active and seems to be adapting well”

Owl monkey born at Indiana's Mesker Park Zoo.

“Find the bastard who put the poison down”

Angelina Ballerina, South African baboon poisoned this weekend, dead.

“He sees little hairy children”

Perhaps you'll decide you don't want a pet monkey.

Goodbye, unnamed infant gorilla!

Gorilla born earlier this month dies at Canada's Calgary Zoo.

More.

For the charity!

They're dressing up in gorilla suits and going for a run, jog, walk, rollerblade, skateboard, or train ride in Denver, Co. Gorilla suits provided.

Let My Chimps Go!

Court-assugned attorney insists that Primarily Primates chimpanzees be tranferred to a sanctuary with posher digs.

“not immediately clear whether the animals were deliberately poisoned”

Baboon-poisonings suspected in South Africa's Cape.

“the second monkey was not there when authorities went to seize it”

Pennsylvanis trio fined for keeping two monkeys, bitey ones at that.

Normal, Abby Normal, Chimpanzee

Genetics of chimpanzee brains subtly different from our own.

“baboons got stressed”

Regimen relaxed for animals at Israel's Haifa Zoo.

“Labor and delivery were normal”

Bundle of gorilla joy arrives at Ohio's Cincinnati Zoo and Botanical Garden.

“You Win”

Everyone loses as UCLA neurobiologist Dario Ringach knuckles under to NAALPO.

“scaring over a hundred workers”

Sugar-shocked monkeys in Ludhiana, India, mob a cage holding one of their young

“fell nearly 43 percent in the past decade”

Spend your Algore carbon units to see a wild orangutan in Indonesia while you can. Don't dawdle, warns the Wildlife Conservation Society.

“still needs to raise $3.7 million to complete the project”

Expansion planned for New York's Seneca Park Zoo.

“discrimination and unconstitutional”

Will Humanzees* give Ned Lamont the edge he needs come November?

“pet guardian”

“Activist“ finds that, in Animal Rights as in any other area, you've got to start young if you're going to stick it out.

Next up: pathogens in gopher guts

Hunters in Cameroon cooperate with Johns Hopkins researchers in survey of viruses in monkey meat.

“a place any chimp would go 'ape' for”

Apes a-plenty at Chimp Haven.

“even if it means working with terrorist organizations like Hizballah”

Peta to make new friends.

“largest privately owned zoo in New England”

Southwick's Zoo to join Curious George marketing extravaganza.

Fooling Enough of the People This Time

From the folks who brought you an album of songs with lyrics written by Koko the Gorilla, an album of songs approved by focus groups of dogs.

“lends itself to many captions”

Pennsylvania's NBC 10 wants your caption for this photo of a baby bonobo. And a disturbing number of your personal details.

Paris Hilton reporters: kinkajou ≠ monkey!

A kinkajou isn't a simian, it's more closely related to the raccoon.

“a revolutionary concept”

Orangutans in the Netherlands to get broadband connection with Indonesian orangutans.

"a gibbering ape"

The Harsh Afghan Winter and I:  a Tourist's Tale.

“How many more animals have to die...”

In Defense of Animals urges expensive federal investigation of snake-bite death of Judeo, chimpanzee at Los Angeles Zoo.

“if...it feels threatened or scared, then it may lash out”

Cyprus authorities seek to reassure public about runaway monkey.

“the naughty monkey that once left a mess in her house”

Train a monkey to guard the house while you're fishing, you'll keep pesky neighbors away all day.

“research in one of the least-known areas on the planet”

New Zealand's University of Auckland appoints first primatologist. Because sometimes you just need one.

“the population is growing”

Philadelphia Zoo debuts its new golden lion tamarin.

“the animal leapt onto the boat”

Monkey's escape attempt during veterinary visit at Texas's Gladys Porter Zoo is foiled.

“Raman knew shooting in reverse would've killed him”

Indian bandit's pet monkey remembered as a keen shot.

“did not do everything possible to protect the animals and its staff”

US Department of Agriculture to penalize Chicago's Lincoln Park Zoo $3000 for irregularities resulting in three poisoned langurs and one attacked intern gorilla-keeper.

“now plans further research on monkeys”

Something new to fret about: untrasound may be harmful to little Zygote.

Gorilla-botherers

“said there was no cause for alarm”

Authorities on Cyprus seek reported window-rattler which might be a monkey. Reuters story lacks photoshopped illustration.

“I feel guilt and anger”

Jane Goodall cheers up Martha's Vineyard.

“a bright-eyed baby gorilla”

Gorilla born and doing fine at Canada's Calgary Zoo.

“people didn't want their pets confiscated”

Being around primates can be bad for your health, warns the Captive Wild Animal Protection Coalition.

“a major role in the evolution of monkeys, apes and humans”

Science lessons of Snakes on a Plane.

“l have made some shocking findings”

De Brazza monkeys mistaken for Skyes monkeys when initially spotted in northern Kenya forest.

“I look back with great nostalgia”

Jane Goodall spreads it pretty thick.

RIP

Four-time Iditarod champion, motorcyclist, writer, Susan Butcher dead after bone marrow transplant.

“These lights are inexpensive”

Canada's Light Up the World Foundation seeks funds to save gorilla habitat by replacing lighting via firewood with $150-per-unit LED “eco-lamps”.

“claiming the stunt was just a prank”

Gorilla-suited yout in Lakewood, Washington, gets a warning after attempting shopping center tot-snatch of 5-year-old.

An ape, but a lesser ape!

Johannesburg Zoo happy about birth of siamang gibbon.

“the zoo's first-ever testosterone replacement”

Abu, former alpha-male baboon at New Zealand's Wellington Zoo is deposed. The zoo hopes to return him to the throne.

“comes with a card detailing the saga”

Virginia's Mill Mountain Zoo tries to squeeze the last bit of good from erstwhile escape-monkey Oops.

As do I.

“and a macaque monkey’s urine contacted her eye”

When working in the lab, follow established procedures and wear safety gear.

“part of a weapons investigation”

Michigan's Binder Park Zoo provides temporary quarters for monkeys, exotic birds, cobras, diamondback rattlesnake and others, seized from two Battle Creek homes.

“to make sure it's happening right”

Close attention is paid to Muke, expectant gorilla at Ohio's Cincinnati Zoo and Botanical Garden.

Out-monkeyed!

Hmmm, I must improve my news searches. Monkeys In The News is full of stories I haven't seen yet!

“animals with smaller brains lack behavioural flexibility”

Predators prefer prey species with smaller brains, scientists say. Except for zombies, presumably.

“patrolling monkey-prone stations”

Monkey menace on the rails in New Delhi.

“a bad case of the shakes”

“Animal advocacy” group Last Chance for Animals calls for the head of Los Angeles Zoo Director John Lewis following death of rattlesnake-bitten chimpanzee Judeo.

“scientists found him in a traveling circus in Japan”

Necropsy result on P-Suke, a bonobo which died at Great Ape Trust of Iowa, much as expected: cardiac fibrosis.

“monkey in pajamas”

Well, there's a blast from the past, I once saw Phil Dirt and the Dozers perform in Columbus, OH. A long time ago.

“you are small and resemble an orange-gutan”

“the fall-out from elections”

Countdown for gorilla extinction, unless we do as the UN tells us.

“The facility will eventually accommodate 200 chimpanzees”

Louisiana's Chimp Haven to release 19 more chimpanzees onto the grounds.

“Sport hunting entails falcons or hounds”

Saudi baboon-hunting areas to be expanded.

“got angry when some children teased the animal”

Jason the chimpanzee escapes from his enclosure at India's Mysore Zoo, panic ensues. Coaxed back in, no injury to humans or non-humans.

“the $20 million project has to be financed”

The National Chimpanzee Observatory: it won't come cheap.

“to protect builders from baboons”

Baboons at UK's Knowsley Safari Park take it personally when builders demolish their old home to build new one.

Betty's back!

Only remaining escaped squirrel monkey returns to enclosure voluntarily at London Zoo, looking for dindins. She had some nice, juicy, mealworms.

“often treated as curiosities”

Cotton-top or tuft-eared marmoset (New World monkeys) rescued by SPCA in Chennai, India.

“Betty is still pottering about in the park”

Five squirrel monkeys escape London Zoo, four recaptured in Regent's Park.

“If he steals food they should let him run off with it”

Baboons continue to roam South African neighborhoods.

“With the baboons, you never know”

Tough times at Haifa Zoo.

“never use great apes in its advertisements”

I didn't know they even still made Keds.

“a speedy repatriation”

Vietnam returns two orangutans to Indonesia.

“a show about monkeys escaping from the zoo”

Ohio's Madcap Puppets: children's theatre torn from the headlines.

“more destructive than logging or bushmeat hunting”

Kill! Kill! Kill for the love of conservation!

“He's a @#*$&#% monkey!”

More civil discourse from the MSM, this time about Curious George.

“the chimp was no where to be found”

Chimpanzee with a club reported in Thousand Oaks, CA. Theories abound.

Goodbye, Les

Les, 44-year-old Sumatran orangutan at Oklahoma City Zoo, dead of heart and kidney failure.

“a fully grown sheep torn to pieces”

Years of appeasing South Africa's endangered baboons exacts a heavy price on innocent farmers, livestock.

“proposed that people are a domesticated form of ape”

Bizarre stock from unsettling Soviet animal-breeding experiments continues to be bred for science!

“spent most of their lives in a research lab”

Indian Institute of Science accused of releasing lab monkeys into the wild.

“Mr. Farinato says officials should consider euthanasia”

Local SPCAs at wit's end finding homes for ever-increasing number of rescued exotic pets. Internet blamed.

It's a raid!

Drugs, endangered animals, &c. seized from home of North Carolina zoo owner.

“because it's really scary”

Don't mistake Gorilla Glue™ for dogfood, veterinarian says. Or for gorilla food, I say.

“especially when you rewarded them with some raisins”

When your ancestors climbed down from the trees, they had to run before they could walk, scientists say.

“I buy 575 to 600 tons of food a year”

Keeping busy feeding the animals at Pittsburgh Zoo & PPG Aquarium.

“causes huge distress and behavioural problems”

You don't want a pet monkey, says UK's The Monkey Sanctuary.

“the longest interbirth interval of any mammal”

Orangutans may pay the price of all such evolutionary left-behinds.

“a farmer had a problem with some baboons”

A Saudi farmer mourns his goats, poisoned by his own hand.

“Owners chose not to report the incident to police”

Thieves in Russia steal circus monkey's motorcycle.

“mural of a Zen monkey in a meditative position”

MonkeyWatch favorites Val Prieto and Steve H. Graham are profiled.

“he will get black stripes”

Florida's Naples Zoo welcomes a newborn colobus monkey, destined for Canada.

“they cannot eat their tiffins without fear”

Spring Dale School in Indira Nagar, India, troubled by menacing monkeys.

“found safe and well playing with children in a London park”

“SpongeBob,” Bolivian squirrel monkey napped from UK's Chessington World of Adventures, recovered.

“the organization no longer has a lawyer”

Lawsuits fly in bigfoot land.

“He was like my son”

Chico The Monkey, organ-grinding star attraction of Chicago's Animal Kingdom, dead of apparent stroke.

“named a baby gorilla Keza (cute one)”

Bill Gates & family bestow a name on a Rwandan gorilla.

“Davis underwent more than a dozen surgeries”

Court battle looms over Moe, the chimpanzee formerly owned by St. James and LaDonna Davis (and not one of the chimps that savaged Mr. Davis).

“at the fountains at Crocker Park”

Owner of Ohio gorilla suit sought by police for talking-to, return of gorilla suit.

“gorilla or chimpanzee parts being sold”

Illegal bushmeat finds a market in European, American, cities.

Another monkey-napping in Britain!

Bolivian squirrel monkey stolen from UK's Monkey and Bird Garden at Chessington World of Adventures in Surrey.

“she pulled out binoculars and spotted the monkey”

A monkey runs loose in Wisconsin, owner stays mum.

Update: Police believe it may be someone's pet, to the disappointment of local Bigfoot Jr. seekers.

Update again: Monkey may be victim of golf-cart goniffs.

“viruses that could conceivably jump from apes to humans”

Spank the monkey if you must, punch the monkey if you will, but don't eat the monkey!

“he escaped from a transfer cage”

Baboon's bid for freedom from San Antonio, TX, research facility quickly foiled.

“They only found the suit, not the person in it”

Man (or gorilla?) in gorilla suit eludes Westlake, OH, police

But making them listen? Not so easy!

“Expert explains dangers to chimpanzee population”

“known for its haunting whale-like call”

Madagascar celebrates the birth of an Indri, the world's largest living lemur.

“at the home of a 70-year-old neighbor”

Incompetence from ALF thugs.

“releasing them in the forest”

Better they learn the truth now: sold for medical research.

Carl Stalling's come-uppance may come yet

Via This Blog Is Full Of Crap, at last Smellovision approaches.

“primate-carried diseases like the Ebola virus”

Senator Jeffords to outlaw transport of primates across state lines for sale as pets. Until it's to his advantage requiring same.

“They are mine”

Johnny Weissmuller Jnr aspires to Tarzan's loincloth.

“Did you know that satellite imagery reveals that Barbara Boxer is actually a lemur”

Gutfeld nails list of questions to the door.

“A True Positive Ape!”

At POSITIVE APE INDEX, your favorite <driver from hated locale> portrayed.

“research was conducted in rhesus monkeys”

Cocaine bad for rhesus monkeys, Wake Forest University scientists say.

“There’s nothing like an animal story”

Oops, Virginia's no-longer-missing monkey seen as a feel-good story in a time of scary headlines.

“We are so grateful”

PETCO raises 1.7 million in donations, Oregon Primate Rescue one of the recipients.

Home again, home again

Virginia's missing monkey Oops now back in zoo, safe and sound.

“$1 General Admission tickets”

The hunt for Virginia's missing monkey Oops widens to the baseball diamond.

“We go through four cases of bananas for the week”

Preparing food for the animals at a zoo commisary.

“fresh, berry red, and a potentially good sign”

Expert searchers join the quest for Oops the monkey, suspected monkey scat found.

“It's definitely not great timing”

Virginia's Mill Mountain Zoo, from where Oops the missing monkey escaped, due for AZA accreditation beginning at the end of this month.

“our Top 10 reasons”

Oops, Virginia's runaway monkey, becoming folk hero.

“officers used pepper spray to calm him down”

I'm guessing narcotics were involved, but I'm just guessing.

“Peaches”

Virginia resident remembers when the rhesus monkey her aunt gave to Mill Mountain Zoo escaped, 50 years ago.

“they have a very elaborate repertoire of sexual behavior”

Living On Earth™ considers the randy bonobo, nature's dirty hippy.

“chimps and monkeys are actually named as plaintiffs”

Primarily Primates sanctuary is criticized, sued.

Goodbye, P-Suke

Bonobo at at the Great Ape Trust of Iowa dies under anesthesia prior to planned hernia surgery.

“We are the tree-huggers”

Tree-swapping at Mesker Park Zoo in Indianapolis.

“No specific reason for the postponement was given”

Hernia surgery for P-Suke, bonobo at the Great Ape Trust of Iowa, postponed.
Updated: Died during anesthesia.

“average in size and extremely healthy”

Sukari, western lowland gorilla, gives birth at Georgia's Zoo Atlanta.

“they have no problem living off the land”

Historic Macaque escapes: “it can be months before they're recovered”.

“by making monkey gestures”

Oops, Virginia's monkey-on-the-run, still on the run, and was spotted yesterday.

“opens its gates to visitors one day each month”

Louisiana's Chimp Haven solicits enrichment gifts for the chimpanzees.

“has shown no signs of discomfort”

P-Suke, bonobo at the Great Ape Trust of Iowa, scheduled for Friday surgery to repair inguinal hernia.

“like a needle in the haystack”

Virginia monkey still missing from zoo.

“animals chew on it or sit on it”

Icing down the critters during the summer heat at Sunset Zoological Park in Kansas. And in the UK's heatwave.

“humans may have to close their windows”

South Africa's problems with monkeys and baboons becoming more frequent. Humans are blamed.

“It happened on June 27th”

Gorilla born at Spain's Madrid Zoo. This'd be Spain's first gorilla born with full human rights, so his mother Gorka is now due an additional monthly stipend.

“An amorous ape and his two brothers”

“Big, muscular bag of hormones” said to be behind Canadian ape-swapping.

“He’ll be going first class”

Monkey-shuffling at Canadian zoos.

Update: Ape-shuffling just around the corner.

“critically endangered”

Two pied tamarins born at Belfast Zoo.

“do not attempt to feed, pet or make any other contact”

Virginia's Mill Mountain Zoo to reopen Tuesday, as missing monkey “Oops” seems in no hurry to return.

Goodbye, Mopie

Mopie, 34-year-old gorilla at the National Zoo, died of apparent heart failure Monday, the second in a week.

“avalanches of searing hot gas and debris”

Farmers on the slopes of Mt. Merapi in the Philippines, undismayed by volcanic eruptions, now menaced by hundreds of deranged monkeys.

“she would bite and scratch and fight back”

Monkey still missing from Virginia zoo.

“he truly cares for the environment”

In school today we learned about manbearpig!

“as if old age was finally taming his strength”

Birthday celebration for 42-year-old Zakayo, chimpanzee at Uganda's Wildlife Education Centre in Entebbe.

“urges anyone who sees the monkey to call 911”

Japanese macaque on the loose from Virginia's Mill Mountain Zoo.

Update: “they can hear her in the forest surrounding the four-acre zoo”

Monday AM Update: The hunt resumes. “Jobe says hunger pangs might bring her out of hiding Monday.”

Goodbye, Kuja

Kuja, 23-year-old western lowland gorilla at the National Zoo, dies during surgery to implant a cardiac device.

Update: Memphis mourns their native son.

“most tourists that view them flout the regulations”

Spotty gorilla-tourists said to risk infecting Bwindi gorillas with airborne disease.

Timing is everything

Hard on the heels of the SWIFT loose-lipping, Newspaper Association of America argues for S. 2831, the Free Flow of Information Act of 2006, a federal “shield” law, vital to maintaining the flow of information to the public. Friendly or otherwise.

“18 monkeys stolen from zoos rescued”

Monkey-stealing ring nabbed with the goods in UK.

“the science of ape intelligence”

Executive shake-up at Great Ape Trust of Iowa.

“very prominent facial markings”

Colorado's Denver Zoo announces June 10 birth of red-capped mangabey.

“visitors flock to the area”

Banno the monkey a mean drunk:

The owner of the beer shop, Rajesh Singh, admits that Banno helped raise his sale figures. People visit the site just to see the monkey drinking beer. ‘‘But now, she has been hitting business as she has injured at least half-a-dozen people in the last few months,’’ he says.

Call in the lawyers!

“native to the forests of central and eastern Africa”

Indiana's Fort Wayne Children's Zoo proud to show de Brazza's monkey born this week.

“the world's smallest primates”

Tiny marmoset on the loose captured/rescued in East Palo Alto, California.

“I have returned”

The Jawa Report is back.

“definitely have a chimp’s sex swellings”

Last year's “new species of ape” now instead seen as a bunch of fat chimpanzees with mohawks.

“I hope nobody gets drunk and hits it”

When in Indiana for this weekend's United States Grand Prix, find time to see Alvin Probasco's 2,500-pound limestone gorilla.

“It's a very clever animal”

Wily baboon in South Africa's Cape Town outsmarts SPCA officials.

Update: Wilier and wilier.

“They try to French kiss you”

Arizona woman makes and adventure holiday of fostering baboons in South Africa.

What do you get for a thing like that?

Uganda Museum to open Great Apes Survival Project exhibition to sensitise the public about gorillas and chimpanzees

“location reported to farmers by e-mail on their cellphones”

Japan's Nippon Telegraph and Telephone West Corp. to begin chipping monkeys to let farmers know when their fields are being raided.

“Maybe if you say please”

That's clever, Hans!

“hearts and minds”

Sierra Leone's Awareness Times reports sighting of Bruno and his remaining gang of dissident chimpanzees.

“a court-ordered inspection of the refuge”

While your foolish European seeks to make irrational law (thanks to Harvey of Bad Example), here in the US the courts will do it for us!

“an outcast from Taoist heavan”

Hong Kong readies for the Monkey God festival on October 7th.

“at the 17th graduation of the Open University of Tanzania”

Jane Goodall is awarded.

“facing severe threats”

Seattle Times shows a picture of an orangutan and her baby.

“and have women e-mail you nude photos”

Feature and interview in Chicago Tribune for Last Angry Young Man of Monkey Chow Diaries.

Spishers!

Primatologists aim to ape bird watchers.

“Monkeys, livestock and reptiles will not be allowed...”

and neither will people without pets, at Palm Beach, Florida's animal-people storm shelter

Microcebus mittermeier, M. jollyae, and M. simmonsi

International Journal of Primatology confirms: more lemur species, and all endangered. I think splitters are run amok here and will continue to split until each individual is its own extinct species.

“open the floodgates”

Jane Goodall, PETA loons, and a crew of assorted do-gooders fear that if Yerkes National Primate Research Center is permitted to use endangered mangabeys (which they've raised from birth) in AIDS research, they'll want to do it again to cure smallpox and dengue and ebola and goodness knows what else.

“Karl Rove’s dingo ate my baby”

New screedblog!

“Sheriff's Deputies are on the hunt”

Monkey reported running loose in Forest Park, Ohio.

Update: No monkey spotted, hoax suspected, copycats feared.

“teaches students how to humanely kill pigeons and rats”

It's all part of the circle of life, for Exotic Animal Trainers.

“She also has severe Spindelosis”

A feature on Chicago's Brookfield Zoo caring for disabled animals, including hip replacement surgery for arthritic gorilla Beta.

“the vandals of the animal world”

Baboons at UK's Knowsley Safari Park accused of swiping English flags from visitors' cars.

“would travel around town selling fishing rods and maggots”

Remembering a real-life advertising chimpanzee in Bolton, Lancs.

“we can not preserve them at the expense of education”

Won't someone think of the children, and kill some more monkeys!

“the primate auditory cortex contains more fields than have actually been functionally confirmed or described”

Sissy Willis sends along a pointer to this article on findings about auditory fields in monkey brains.

Talk about your culture of corruption!

Odd goings-on in illegal monkey sales in Vietnam.

“wait for hours to see or touch Oraon's 13-inch tail”

Villager in West Bengal worshipped as incarnation of monkey god Hanuman. Doctors say he's not.

Looks depressing.

If you see a largely black background here, blame blogger. I note that Mansfield Fox, using the same basic template, looks the same. It got better.

“the lemur is one of the friendliest animals at the zoo”

Lemur escape plot foiled at Detroit Zoo.

“some people are going to hate it”

Sahelanthropus tchadensis,  the earliest known hominid fossil, no such thing at all, just some ape going on all fours, say University of Michigan anthropologists.

“Unripe fruit carries insect larvae”

Monkeys consider past weather conditions when deciding where to find what to eat, researchers declare.

“we have collected faecal samples from orang-utan individuals”

Your orangutan likes to stay close to home, researchers say.

“has every tooth in his head”

What Cheeta the chimpanzee gets up to, when he's at home and when he's out and about.

“a spate of thefts of small monkeys in the UK this year”

Five monkeys missing from UK's Drusillas Zoo Park in apparent monkeynapping.

“injecting millions of human brain cells into the heads of monkeys”

Coming to you soon from a sunnier clime: the orangu-man, dancing monkeyboy, and girl-rilla.

“absurd moral reductionism”

Bioethicist Wesley J. Smith opposes Spanish legislation that would grant human-type rights to apes, legislation

whose ultimate goal is the implementation of a broad animal liberation agenda that would eventually elevate all mammals to moral equality with humans.

“including rambutans, durians and mangosteens”

46th birthday for Ah Meng, orangutan at Singapore zoo. The article claims she's “the oldest orangutan living in captivity” but only days ago Nonja, orangutan at Florida's Miami Metrozoo, turned 54.

“like highland bandits”

Pakistani family in Saudi Arabia has picnic spoiled by baboons.

it's always something with these people

Palm oil thirst seen as orangutan's bane.

“I thought I was going to die”

Never never turn your back on a chimpanzee.

“he did not rule out having it killed”

He's not a bad chimpanzee, your honor. He's just misunderstood.

thousands cheer

Whittle posts!

“Twelve baby gorillas were given names”

“Big Ben” the big name among those at this year's gorilla naming ceremony in Rwanda.

“we are not sure whether Ugandans sell or eat them”

Uganda-Congo border a hot zone for the ape trade.

“Gus took over all parental roles for Tucker”

Siamang father at Indiana's Fort Wayne Children's Zoo is a good dad.

“an unusual season”

Baby gorilla will be among the honorees Saturday at “Baby Shower” at Boston's Franklin Park Zoo.

“a working formula for world peace”

Jabbering away in some foreign lingo, watching a monkey drink Fanta.

“oldest captive orangutan in the world”

Nonja, Sumatran orangutan at Florida's Miami Metrozoo, turns 54.

“they should not be used as pets”

In Malawi, the green monkey's best friend.

Fixed link

“this risk is remote and should be ignored”

Australia taken to task for not importing cheap foreign bananas during their own serious banana shortage.

“Visitors can join him as free cake and ice-cream will be provided”

Hank, chimpanzee at Tennessee's Chattanooga Zoo, turns 38 on Saturday.

“Actions Speak Louder”

Apparent bad faith from publisher Hachette Filipacchi in use of photos stolen from Michael Yon.

“holed up in a walnut tree”

Ape-fancier Daryl Hannah thwarted in land-grab attempt.

“sort of a speciation machine”

Madagascar's lemurs: an embarrassment of riches.

This way we don't offend anybody

Scientists at State Museum of the Rhine in Bonn re-envision Neanderthal as Swiss.

“beggars or landless labourers”

Rwanda's Batwa hunter-gatherers said to be in near-slavery after land is seized for gorilla habitat.

“cabaret and street theatre”

Monkeys at UK's Bristol Zoological Gardens throw gala housewarming to new enclosure. Refreshments will be served.

“They’re giving it to the monkey”

New York's last organ grinder and his monkey.

“we are appealing to the charity of these fruit exporters ”

Peta loons try to put the touch on India's fruit exporters. (I note that India hasn't exported macaques since 1978. Why doesn't Peta extort some mangoes from their Chinese friends?)

“People didn't understand me”

Monkeys approve of Hanuman festival in India's Uttar Pradesh.

“He is very American”

He's not a bad monkey, your honor. He's just misunderstood.

“the incident required no further action”

Formula One race-car driver David Coulthard apologizes for referring to rival Juan Pablo Montoya as a chimpanzee in a zoo.

“Better call an ape lawyer”

QandO blog exhibits US speciesism in telling the tale of human rights for non-human primates in Spain.

“only a "ridiculous or distorted society" could propose such a law”

Reservations are expressed about plans by Spain's political elite to extend human rights to great apes.

“the two monkeys are very old”

On the aging zoo population of Thiruvananthapuram, India.

“he appeared to be in shock”

More on yesterday's deadly chimpanzee ruckus in Florida. I note:

Herman really liked people better than he liked chimps

Did Herman discover something that the other chimps feared he'd talk about? Did they ensure his silence?

“I believe in getting students wet and dirty”

Your tax dollars at work.

Mysterious Canadian rituals?

Trees in Ontario, Canada, park found festooned with cardboard monkeys.

Goodbye, Herman

Herman, 42-year-old alpha male chimpanzee at Florida's Lowry Park Zoo, dead in fight with (formerly?) low-ranking chimpanzee Bamboo.

Update: More.

“I fed a llama”

Missouri's Exotic Animal Paradise, drive-thru petting zoo to be replaced by housing development.

“But they are not conscious; they cannot be free”

An argument against “rights” for great apes on philosophical grounds.

“That was really stupid”

Photographer of 1969 Lake Worth Goat-Man Polaroid dismisses the internet favorite as a prank.

Putting theory to the test

UK's Bristol Zoo to let monkeys mingle with gorillas. The books all agree gorillas are vegetarian, as long as there's vegetation.

“turn to the side and then go up with the ass”

Pole Dancing: for the self-esteem.

“struggling to raise £5,000”

...or we shoot these baboons.

“gorillas are extremely rare and near extinction”

Screw all that presumption of innocence stuff, let's get to the sentencing!

“Chimpanzees are remarkably fragile”

Three more chimpanzee deaths at Primarily Primates in Texas.

“their return from Rwanda”

Like swallows to Capistrano, the peripatetic Nyakagezi group of gorillas have returned to Uganda.

“She can not control that monkey”

Missouri woman's monkey a menace, neighbors say.

“there were no plans to lift the current ban”

UK quashes talk of restarting use of great apes in medical experiments as “totally hypothetical”.

“communicating with the monkeys helped them”

Visitors to Belarus zoo can talk over their problems with the monkeys in the “psychological relief room”.

Opaque melodies that would bug most people

“Did Neanderthals invent music?” UK professor asks.

“he will be filing a complaint if the ape is not returned”

Orangutan seized from Cambodian official's taxi.

“protest outside the Manila Zoo”

Peta makes friends overseas.

“Would you rather them be here, or be dead?”

I'm thinking, I'm thinking!

“they need to adapt their homes and lives to live with baboons”

Residents vs. extreme conservationists in South Africa's battle of the baboons.

“to address some of Nepal's most pressing health concerns, which include HIV, tuberculosis, hepatitis, and malaria”

India, chronically over-run with monkeys, banned the export of all Rhesus macaques in 1978. Now little Nepal steps up to help fill the gap.

“the gorillas from the movie remembered who she was”

Sigourney Weaver reunited with Gorillas in the Mist costars.

“names will be given to 12 baby primates”

Uganda markets branding opportunities at annual gorilla-naming festivities.

We'll need monkeys!

Harvey at Bad Example sends along this pointer to a monkey-oriented storyline at Sluggy Freelance

“goes where no one has been stupid enough to go before”

The Last Angry Young Man blogs the Monkey Chow Diaries

“offer applies to children aged between three and 15”

UK's Monkey World Ape Rescue Centre offers bargain rates for kids in June.

“nasty, hyperadaptable, eating, rooting, wrecking machines”

Feral hogs (“the second smartest animal behind only chimpanzees”) disrupt life in Colorado.