Saturday, January 31, 2004

"Listening is not enough for them to learn a foreign language"

PA charter school Chinese language class celebrates the year of the monkey with cultural program. Revisionists denounced, democracy advocates slaughtered.

And, Rowland must go.

"They stop kids, snatch belongings and even sneer at you"

Like Fisk to thugs, anti-human activist Kartik Satyanarayan explains why Delhi monkey attacks are all our fault.

And, Rowland must go.

"biological changes over time"

Georgia bureaucrat attempts to fool creationists by renaming evolution, declaring Damnatio Memoriae on Darwin.

And, Rowland must go.

Friday, January 30, 2004

Wednesday, January 28, 2004

"the uncanny ability to pick the winner of football games"

Orangutan-Super Bowl connection.

And, Rowland must go.

Muyambi, Malaika, Nyampazi, Kasya, Rwamutwe, Kafuruka, Noel Kaconco and Kwesiima

Eight baby gorillas named by the acting chief warden at Bwindi National Park.

And, Rowland must go.

"the Disney film team working in northern Canada paid local children to collect live lemmings"

Reality not like nature programs, says Sir David Attenborough.

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"funded by the National Institute of Mental Health and the University of Iowa"

When monkeys listen to monkeys it's like people listening to people, says Iowa prof.

And, Rowland must go.

Khoratpithecus piriyai

Seven to nine million years year old fossil of orangutan relative found in Thailand.

And, Rowland must go.

"keepers decided to remove a birth-control implant from the baby's mother in August"

Like Looe Monkey Sanctuary, St. Paul's Como Zoo has an unexpected arrival.

And, Rowland must go.

'the monkey that represents “good fortune” will cease to exist if drastic measures are not put in place'

Chinese golden monkey said to be near extinction.

And, Rowland must go.

"This is the third major attack in the last 10 days"

Grim aftermath of Monday's Delhi monkey attack.

And, Rowland must go.

Tuesday, January 27, 2004

"I was a wrestler"

One-man goon squad Al Franken promises Atomic Monkeyflip to next heckler he catches.

And, Rowland must go.

"this decision is saying that violence and illegal protest works"

More on the Cambridge copout.

And, Rowland must go.

"how Uganda is perceived in the major tourist source markets"

Ireland tells Uganda, "if you build it, they will come."

And, Rowland must go.

"It’s bulky and hard to load"

Dublin, GA police on the lookout for stolen inflatable gorilla.

And, Rowland must go.

"They’re smelly"

New Hampshire animal wrangler maintains a varied menagerie.

And, Rowland must go.

Good Old-Fashioned Nightmare Fuel

A kiddy book about a baby gorilla that catches meningitis.

And, Rowland must go.

"Rusti was abandoned by his abusive parents"

Kualoa Ranch gives up on plans to house orangutan, he stays at "marginally acceptable" facilities at Honolulu Zoo.

And, Rowland must go.

"sent threatening letters and had their cars torched"

Cambridge surrenders to terror.

More, more, and more.

And, Rowland must go.

"the contraceptive did not last the two years it was meant to"

Woolly Monkey at UK's Looe Monkey Sanctuary gives birth, despite contraceptive implant.

And, Rowland must go.

Wednesday, January 21, 2004

Tuesday, January 20, 2004

Meta, meta, meta

Google news isn't working for me, maybe it's just a DNS change that hasn't propagated as quickly as it might. My ISP has been known to be slow in receiving DNS changes.

And, link or no link, Rowland must go.

"full trichromatic vision evolved twice in primates"

Scientists say monkeys smell good well.

And, Rowland must go.

Thursday, January 15, 2004

"It's a pretty big deal"

Harvard prof says monkeys can't understand when you talk to them.

And, Rowland must go.

Hi, Gander!

Columbus Zoo and Aquarium gets a new baby bonobo, and two more pregnancies. Also, a new tiger is being Fed-Ex'd in.

And, Rowland must go.

“It’s a captive breeding program in Florida”

PETA and Ringling Brothers/Barnum & Bailey airing it out, again.

And, Rowland must go.

Ebola in the news

We still don't know what the reservoir is, but bushmeat is the common vector that infects humans and it's decimating the great apes, which can like canaries in a mine.

And, Rowland must go.

"Long haul travellers were found to be motivated by a desire to experience something unique"

Uganda Sustainable Tourism Development Programme wants you to know: Uganda has mountain gorillas.

And, Rowland must go.

Wednesday, January 14, 2004

"I could keep up on a horse or a bicycle, but trees got in the way"

National Geographic describes the Patas Monkey, the world's fastest monkey, clocked at 34 mph.

And, Rowland must go.

If you must have a pet monkey, don't let it play with wrenches

Endicott NY man and his dog dead of carbon monoxide poisoning. His monkey survived.

And, Rowland must go.

"He acts like a human and can use his thumbs to grab things"

Jim Fowler visits Illinois elementary school, plays show & tell.

And, Rowland must go.

"We have sought help from experts and hope to get rid of the problem soon"

India doesn't have enough trouble with monkeys within their borders, finds more in Katmandu.

Update: more.

And, Rowland must go.

"I was quite sure I'd be a better mate for Tarzan myself"

Queen of the Chimps in bid to become Queen of basic cable.

And, Rowland must go.

"a zoo consultant laid out his study"

Fresno still looking to save Chaffee Zoo.

And, Rowland must go.

"You don't want to mess with an unhealthy monkey"

Maybe Dania Beach, FL needs langoors.

And, Rowland must go.

"langoors could be seen chasing monkeys at the back of the Oral Sciences Department"

Chandigarh langoors apparently successful at chasing away monkeys.

And, Rowland must go.

Saturday, January 10, 2004

Thursday, January 08, 2004

"the celebration of the Lunar New Year is well-known across the country"

Canada, not to be outdone, issues two Year of the Monkey stamps.

And, Rowland must go.

"a Sci Fi channel reality series"

Queen of the Chimps communes with like minds.

And, Rowland must go.

"Humans and monkeys are buddies"

Japanese monkey researcher reviews career highlights in endless series of Year of the Monkey interviews. <queeq>strawberries</queeq>

And, Rowland must go.

"Fifty people in the zoo stayed in a locked building for safety"

Evelyn, a 27-year-old, 250-pound western lowland gorilla at Denver Zoo, made a break for it today. She was recaptured after 45 minutes, never getting off the grounds.

Update: more.

And, Rowland must go.

"Monkeys Don't let Morons Drive Drunk"

Salt Lake City columnist calls for service monkeys to help the disabled, patrol the parks, and provide entertainment.

And, Rowland must go.

"A pack of 10 hongbaos will be given free with the purchase of each mini sheet"

Singapore to issue monkey stamps.

And, Rowland must go.

Tuesday, January 06, 2004

“The tricky ones are the ants"

London Zoo begins annual count of the animals.

And, Rowland must go.

"selling meat unfit for human consumption"

UK hands down first prison sentence for bushmeat trading.

And, Rowland must go.

"The baboons — actually Anubis monkeys"

NY's Seneca Park Zoo plans to rent some Anubis monkeys, call them baboons, and charge admission.

And, Rowland must go.

"The Davises were accompanied by celebrity attorney Gloria Allred"

Moe, ex-West Covina chimp, gets visit (register or use laexaminer/laexaminer) from former owners.

And, Rowland must go.

Sunday, January 04, 2004

Friday, January 02, 2004

Mark Your Calendars

February 15 is National Sea Monkey Day.

And, Rowland must go.

"awarded with one month's supply of bananas"

2-year-old boy wins National Monkey Face Championship in Tokyo. No photo.

And, Rowland must go.

"will look at the causes of diseases including Alzheimer's and Parkinson's"

UK anti-human groups sue Deputy Prime Minister John Prescott for permitting construction of monkey experimentation center at Cambridge.

Update: more. Anti-human press release.

And, Rowland must go.

That oughta bring in the marks

Cheektowaga NY's Garden Village Flea Market plans to feature a monkey show in January.

And, Rowland must go.

"the little platypus has the zoo's most expensive palate"

What the Melbourne Zoo spends to feed the various inmates.
"The primate department spends about $70,000 a year on food."


And, Rowland must go.

Thursday, January 01, 2004

"the first discovery of the genus in Asia"

55 million year old partially preserved euprimate skull discovered in China. Leakeys grow more nervous.

And, Rowland must go.

gorillas, okapi, black and white colobus monkeys, cranes and flamingos

Sedgwick County Zoo plans Downing Gorilla Forest.

And, Rowland must go.

Won't Someone Please Think of the Monkeys!

Via Porphyrogenitus, Armavirumque reports EU banana outrage.

Elsewhere:
"And I would say to the Europeans, I pledge to you as the American president that we'll consult with you first. You get the right of first refusal on the security grocery concerns that we have. We'll bring you in." -- Wesley Clark


And, Rowland must go.

"Khan's lawyer refuted the charges"

Indian filmmaker Feroz Khan sued for filming monkeys, other animals without permission.

And, Rowland must go.

"Nobody's been able to provide proof that it happened"

Pet macaque bites owner's live-in. No lessons are learned.

And, Rowland must go.