Wednesday, February 25, 2004

"The gorillas that live there are called naive gorillas"

Christiane Amanpour to do for gorillas what she did for Saddam.

And Rowland must go.

"We call it laughter"

Atlanta's Fernbank Museum to tout Queen of the Chimps, encourage chimp-like behavior in patrons.

And, Rowland must go.

"I was shocked when I heard"

Canada's Crystal Garden Conservation Centre to be defunded. Like-minded tax consumers predictably outraged.

And, Rowland must go.

"the President has no official role in this process"

A quick lesson from Feces Flinging Monkey on how the Constitution is amended.

And, Rowland must go.

"it will help build a basis for hammering the virus before it gets started"

Researchers find protein in monkey cells that prevents HIV replication.

And, Rowland must go.

"clearing older facilities to make way for a new plan"

Alabama's Birmingham Zoo demolishes Bear Moat. Former Monkey Island, which later served as Alligator Island, to live on as Duck Island.

And, Rowland must go.

Tuesday, February 24, 2004

"The giraffe, George, died from tetanus"

USDA’s Animal and Plant Health Inspection Service to investigate Toledo Zoo.

And, Rowland must go.

"This book belongs in all libraries"

Iowa scientists garner Queen of the Chimps jacket blurb on new monkey book.

And, Rowland must go.

"The four suspects are currently under police intensive investigation"

Indonesia police nab monkey-meat smugglers.

And, Rowland must go.

"monkeys themselves have little reason to celebrate"

Should have thought of that before they were born monkeys! In China!

And, Rowland must go.

First runner-up: Veggie Bomb

Louisville Zoo / Papa John's Pizza name-the-baby-gorilla contest winner "Azizi."

And, Rowland must go.

"including the famous ‘Bug Man’ Ruud Kleinpaste"

Auckland Zoo’s Rainforest to be Auckland Zoo’s Newstalk ZB Rainforest

And, Rowland must go.

Monday, February 23, 2004

Saturday, February 21, 2004

Monday, February 16, 2004

"Any time you identify a zoonotic transfer of a retrovirus it raises a lot of concern"

One more thing to worry about, simian foamy virus gaining popularity among those in contact with simians.

And, Rowland must go.

"we suggest that police throw an immediate defensive cordon around every ferret"

Register plays Sao Paolo Zoo animal killings for laughs.

And, Rowland must go.

"Eye to eye with lemurs in the trees"

Albany, GA's Parks at Chehaw to display lemurs in open-air setting in March.

And, Rowland must go.

"embracing, kissing, patting one another on the back, swaggering, and shaking their fists"

Queen of the Chimps signs her name to alarmist report of declining chimp population, no sign of a census in this press release, though. "... financial help must come from western countries, the plan says"

And, Rowland must go.

"It was very interesting"

Nebraska office-workers get gorilla-grams for Valentine's day, AP goes national with the story.

And, Rowland must go.

"In Japan, monkeys are being sold at a high price in first class restaurants where monkey brains are cooked"

Monkey-napping in the Phillipines.

And, Rowland must go.

Tuesday, February 10, 2004

"the animals were killed with sodium fluoroacetate"

Tony the chimpanzee, other animals, poisoned by person or persons unknown at Sao Paolo Zoo.

And, Rowland must go.

"gorillas destroy banana plants, whose pith they like to eat"

Ugandan gorillas on banana-stealing spree.

And, Rowland must go.

"One notorious chimp nicknamed Saddam is blamed for killing at least three babies"

Drunken Ugandan chimps on bloody rampage.

And, Rowland must go.

"sometimes you can’t believe anything that you see"

University of Pittsburgh researchers distinguish between brain areas for processing reality and illusion by tricking monkeys and stupid people. Republicans and Democrats each issue press releases decrying overdeveloped illusion areas in the brains of the other.

And, Rowland must go.

Monday, February 09, 2004

Wednesday, February 04, 2004

Chimp change

Live, no link: Dennis Miller just announced that Ellie the Chimp, now entering puberty, will no longer appear on the show, and will be replaced by Mowgly (or Mowglie?) a younger chimp.

Update: Mowgli.

And, Rowland must go.

"His dad, by the way, is Lowell the orangutan"

Rochester NY's Seneca Park Zoo, home of rented baboons, ready to show off their new baby orangutan.

And, Rowland must go.

"114th annual Chneah Hoay"

God of Prosperity predicts sound Malaysian economy in the year of the monkey.

And, Rowland must go.

"a Soviet agent was allowed to steal gas pipeline software that had been secretly designed to fail on a catastrophic scale"

It only hit my filters because it contains "monkey wrench", but this is very interesting!

And, Rowland must go.

"large predators that prey on humans are vanishing"

Anti-human Conference of the Parties to the Convention on Biological Diversity to call for more man-killers.

And, Rowland must go.

Sunday, February 01, 2004