Saturday, December 31, 2005

“The star orangutan looks for his better half!”

leshen2005.blog.tom.com, a Chinese government blog advertising the need for a mate for Leshen, a six-year-old Sumatran orangutan at Hongshan Forest Zoo.

“Clowns give me the creeps”

How (and why!) coulrophobes want to stop Sarasota, FL officials from filling the sizewalks with 70 life-sized fiberglass clowns.

Friday, December 30, 2005

“on exhibit with their mothers”

Golden cheeked gibbon and Kikuyu colobus monkey born at Los Angeles Zoo in December.

“one of the alpha males of primate research”

A positive review of Frans de Waal's Our Inner Ape: The Best and Worst of Human Nature

“Bwana was such a gentle gorilla”

Fond memories of gorilla doings at the San Francisco Zoo.

“horse pipes”

Conservationists in Kenya build ladder-like monkey bridges to keep monkeys from being struck while crossing the busy highways below. Bridges are pictured here.

“leap several feet out of the water and grab birds or monkeys out of trees”

The Georgia Aquarium has Arawanas, but no monkeys for them to grab.

“bit at least 25 people”

Monkey runs amok in Maharashtra, India.

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Monday, December 26, 2005

Sunday, December 25, 2005

Saturday, December 24, 2005

Someone else's tax dollars at work

Australian government to retire Perth Zoo's $17.6 million debts. Perth Zoo to begin accumulating new debt.

“fraternity members”

Return of the Giant Inflatable King Kong.

Ten years ago today

Gorillas, orangutans, gibbons and lemurs die in fire at Philadelphia Zoo.

“two gorillas and 10 tigers died in the Zoo”

Retired Curator of Mysore Zoo blames Forest officials for late-1970's animal deaths.

Friday, December 23, 2005

“Romina is very protective but loves to show him off”

Romina, 25-year-old western lowland gorilla at UK's Bristol Zoo, recipient of successful cataract surgery, a good mother to her 7-month-old son, Namoki,

“just before midnight — Greenwich Mean Time”

I question the timing!

“He may be sourcing food from within the zoo somewhere”

Australia's Western Plains Zoo locked down in search for (human) murderer.

“The menace of monkeys claimed the life of a villager”

Indian man dies after falling from tree while defending house from monkey attack.

Thursday, December 22, 2005

“I learned many things”

Skills transfer for African veterinarians at Maryland Zoo's Mountain Gorilla Veterinary Project.

“this date in history”

December 23, 1956: Ohio's Columbus Zoo welcomes the first birth of a captive-born gorilla

“Come on, Kiki, let's go home”

King Kong an excuse for a couple of gorilla anecdotes.

“that’s when we discovered it was missing”

33-foot inflatable King Kong swiped from Springfield, MO theater roof.

“Monkey Claus is coming to town”

Katrina evacuee philanthropist to distribute sock monkeys in New Orleans.

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

It aint sanitary!

Via Possumblog, eeyew.

Your tax dollars at work!

Geneticists refine time of divergence of human and chimpanzee lines to 5 to 7 million years ago. Cladists remain mum (and smug).

“Kudlo, the monkey man”

Monkey-impersonator a local attraction in Puranapanj, India.

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

“Zoo researchers document menopause in gorillas”

I did not know that.

“choked by her school hat cord from monkey bars”

Nanny-state seen as not all-knowing in antipodean shocker. Further rule-making seen as solution.

“Josef Stalin wanted to develop a super army”

Murderous and stupid.

“he had gone to see a particular type of chimpanzee”

Safari-bound candlemaker snuffed.

Monday, December 19, 2005

“That's not how they behave!”

Primate supervisor for the Rio Grande Zoo says King Kong no documentary.

Sunday, December 18, 2005

“It looks like an Ernst Wilhelm Nay”

Art “expert” is mocked.

“far too seriously”

King Kong audiences charged with racism, homophobia.

Saturday, December 17, 2005

Friday, December 16, 2005

“supplying Schatten with eggs that had been illegally obtained”

U.S. mad scientist fears South Korean counterpart may be bad apple that spoils the barrel for him.

“nocturnal attacks on children and elderly by these nasty creatures”

Monkeys seize territory, demand autonomy, in disputed Indian-admininistered Kashmir.

“such acts will not be tolerated”

Seven Indonesian orangutans rescued from show business in Malaysia.

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

“volcano rabbit and monkey-faced bats”

I find it difficult to muster much sympathy for a species, endangered though it be, that's evolved a survival stategy of living only on the slopes of four volcanoes.

Monday, December 12, 2005

Thursday, December 08, 2005

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

“male monkeys like to play with toy cars”

Monkeys show gender differences in toy preferences, research finds

I didn't know monkeys had gender, but they sure have sex!
(Ba-dum Dum)

“see what happens when the chimpanzees are put to bed”

New Zealand's Wellington Zoo to celebrate “The Truth about Great Apes week” and King Kong cross-promotion festival.

“the Bill would also allow a prohibition affecting zoos”

Royal Scottish Zoological Society and Edinburgh Zoo express concern that Scottish Parliament wants “counter-productive and overly bureaucratic” authority to ban some species.

“osteoarthritis in the hinge on the right side of his jaw”

Successful surgery on Motaba the gorilla at Australia's Melbourne Zoo.

Hey! Google News carries Joe Gandelman now

No Reel Apes campaign pleased that King Kong features no real apes.

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Monday, December 05, 2005

“a large leaf obscured the creature’s face”

WWF announces the discovery of previously-unknown (to them) carnivore in Borneo. Details remain a bit murky:
The pictures show an enigmatic, red-furred creature with tiny ears and distinctive markings. The leaf that obscures its face makes it impossible to say if it has a pointed snout like a dog or fox, or a flat face like a cat. A second photo, from behind, shows it to have a long, bushy tail rather like a fox, and large hind legs. It is slightly larger than a domestic cat.
They want it declared endangered.

Update 12/06: Invasive Species Weblog wonders if it might be an invasive species.

Sunday, December 04, 2005

“most VHF is zoonotic”

Congo Viruses: Marburg, Ebola, Lassa, Crimean-Congo, and more. What to worry about during lapses in your avian flu obsession.

“no one has scientifically proved that baby animals are soothed by nestling in real fur”

Even if you're probably a loony, not everything you do is guarenteed to be harmful.

“python in search of a monkey meal”

Snake photographer wins seven of eight categories of International Herpetological Symposium photo awards.

“an 800-pound gorilla in the room”

Showtime's “Sleeper Cell” to do for (fictional) terrorists what “The Sopranos” did for gangsters.

Thursday, December 01, 2005

“nicknames like The Beak, The Gorilla and The Doctor”

EU hoodlums feel threatened by Bulgarian gangsters.

"No Reel Apes"

Daryl Hannah to join Queen of the Chimps Dr. Jane Goodall in calling for an end to the use of great apes in entertainment.

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Goodbye, Fern

46-year-old gorilla at Oklahoma City Zoo euthanized.

“Mohamed was not paid for the animals”

Awwwww.

“three African species of bats that are eaten by humans”

Elusive ebola vector may be bats. Or not.

More.

“they were sensitive to the concerns”

“Crescent of Embrace” design retired in favor of less controversial Bowl of Chimpy McHalliburton BusHitler's Lasting Shame.

Trachypithecus hatinhensis

A dozen Hatinh langurs noticed in Vietnam's Quang Tri province.

“more than $7 million to other countries to aid in their conservation of imperiled wildlife”

A drop in the bucket, I suppose, but still, your tax dollars at work.

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

“also self-aware, like gorillas and humans”

Annual Japanese slaughter of dolphins in progress. "Mercury poisoning!", warn pro-dolphin contingent.

“some of the world's most exciting and endangered animals”

Glaswegians to benefit from £35m rebuild of zoo.

four hundred n' ninety-seven n' a half feet o' rope

Curious George soundtrack composer Jack Johnson is briefly profiled.

“Quality Science Education”

University of California sued by monkey haters” turns out to be a bit misleading, they're not so much monkey haters as lawsuit-happy creationists.

Monday, November 28, 2005

“some monkeys attack and bite tourists when not fed”

Costa Rica tourists beware: local wildlife has butched up!

“pry open the bolls to get at the sweet water trapped inside”

Crop-destroying monkeys only one problem facing the African cotton-farmer.

“depending on where they live”

Kyoto University Primate Research Institute professor studies monkey "dialects."

“consumed with heartbreak”

Swoosie Kurtz lends box-office drawing power to PETA nattering.

“She can go anywhere, anytime”

Great Ape Trust of Iowa says Allie the orangutan, from Denver Zoo, recovering well from a viral neurological disorder in her legs.

“brought to tears after being subjected to racial abuse”

In soccer, it seems, there's crying.

“neither a top cultural institution in Minnesota nor a star among zoological gardens”

Minnesota Zoo wants to be a contender.

“it is not primarily a tourist attraction”

Great Ape Trust of Iowa to admit visitors, a little bit. By and by.

“cynical and ruthless criminals”

Yet another reason to hate clowns.

Sunday, November 27, 2005

“four masked gunmen”

Palestinian police unable to protect Gaza's zoo.

“We deployed 10 more guards, what else can we do?”

Crowds out of control at zoo in Mumbai.

“monkeys aren't known for their good manners”

17th annual monkey banquet at Lopburi, Thailand much like previous 16: overstimulated loud monkeys, tourists likewise.

“it may seem strange for me to get stuck on a chimpanzee”

Life no bowl of cherries for chimpanzee in Ghanan zoo.

Saturday, November 26, 2005

“capturing an animal would seem harsh and amounts to stealing”

Politically sensitive career revision for Man In The Yellow Hat in Curious George movie.

“You have to have fear when dealing with such animals”

Presence of mind a key job qualification for zoo-keeper at the Guyana Zoological Park.

“We are pleased that the UN finally moving closer to the worldwide consensus”

Group of self-important scientists calls for starvation in the Pacific for the sake of leatherback sea turtles.

As their appeal is only for a General Assembly resolution, there should be no effect beyond hearty handshakes and a handsomely framed document.

“You can speak to them in English and ask them to do certain things for you”

TV's Jack Hanna off in a world of his own.

“a city without soul and heart”

Audubon Zoo in New Orleans reopens.

“Acara fidgeted on Meekin's brown, fake fur sweater”

Temporary "mother" to orangutan at Salt Lake City's Hogle Zoo shuns attachments, Buddha-like.

“Abu Dhabi - the Missing Link”

Abu Dhabi Environment Agency fossilized.

“and in one case a monkey on board”

Australia contemplates getting strict with illegal fishermen.

Friday, November 25, 2005

“after reaching a settlement agreement earlier this week”

‘Show me your tits’ lawsuit against Koko the sign-language gorilla dropped.

“it's still kangaroo to me and I won't eat it”

Georgian lists things he will and won't eat. “Monkeys, apes and gorillas” off the menu, says he.

“stuffing upsets their stomachs and leads to diarrhea”

Monkeys at New Mexico's Hillcrest Park Zoo enjoyed a traditional Thanksgiving turkey dinner minus stuffing.

“the gorilla has grown up a little”

Children just plain evil, says Pravda.

“the illegal detention of more than one hundred orangutan”

Free the Thailand 115, say animal protection organizations, singing Born Free without let for forty years.

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

“Bangkatan”

Brunei boasts 23 protected animal species. Insistently.

“Her goal is to expand her facilities”

Some people have too many cats in the house. Not Oregon's Monkey Lady.

Monday, November 21, 2005

Saturday, November 19, 2005

“Now the students are happy”

Monkey-chasing services of baboon retained by India's Sindhu Educational Institutions. Plans for baboon-chasing not mentioned in the story.

This, I think, is a test of your BS detector:

Alagarkoil India monkeys claimed to be broken of littering habit, humans to be shamed by their example.

“He has yet to be given a name”

Male gorilla born by caesarean at Florida's Busch Gardens. (registration required)

Friday, November 18, 2005

“tuck in to a menu featuring tiger, lion, elephant and giraffe”

Bushmeat on the menu at Thailand's Chiang Mai night safari zoo

“in collaboration with Madrid University”

Chimp rescue on Grand Canary island.

“females who mate only during the full moon”

Saving the tiny Philippine tarsier.

“perhaps the cutest and most vacant of all primates”

Americans content to look at lemurs while in Madagascar, while ignoring “the facial features of the average Malagasy&rdquo, says Thailand's Farang Untamed Travel, experts on spotting foreigners, I take it.

“habituating gorillas in the Tayna reserve to the presence of humans”

Award for Pierre Kakula Vwirasihikya, protector of Congo gorillas.

“I like monkeys”

American Red Cross: putting your kids to work.

“Dear Abby”

Zookeeper perturbed by parents who give their kids bad information.

Thursday, November 17, 2005

“truly responsible ecotourism”

Ecotourism with a guilty conscience.

“turned into a huge disaster”

Tennessee monkey-blessing plans misunderstood, it seems, as monkey-christening plans. Whole thing called off.

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

“A population control fanatic”

Your fiends friends at Voluntary Human Extinction.

Parents: remember this the next time you attempt to use reason

Reseachers liken teenagers to a “monkey 2 to 4 years old”.

“This is the first case we've had like this”

Yesterday's biting kinkajou (which isn't a primate) put to sleep. As it's endangered, expect trouble over this.

“they’re just utterly wrong”

Sequoia Park Zoo picket garners a claimed dozen protestors.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

And they just got around to telling us now!

Female aye-aye born at Duke Primate Center Sept. 5.

“the only full service diagnostic center in the state”

Michigan State University Diagnostic Center for Population and Animal Health ready to necropsy 26-year-old chimpanzee late of John Ball Zoo, dead after routine dental surgery.

“Your insults show your lack of intelligence”

Hey, hatemail in the comments. I feel like I've arrived.

“Many animals were harmed in the filming of this movie”

Cooper & Schoedsack's pre-King Kong Chang: A Drama of the Wilderness  DVD re-release due in stores this week.

Reposted, this time with a link. Clumsy me.

“Old lady who lives in the forest without a man”

Health care is a right (for wild gorillas!)

“apparently came in through an open gate”

Stray dogs get into Mississippi's Jackson Zoo Friday night, 18 exotic birds dead.

Because I have some standards...

I have no plans link to stories of Paris Hilton being attacked by her pet monkey.

“A monkey-like pet ”

Mississippi woman attacked by kinkajou.
Although it does resemble a monkey and is often referred to as the "night monkey," the kinkajou is actually kin to the raccoon.

“they do not have thumbs”

The colobus monkey is profiled in Uganda's Sunday Monitor.

“the crumbs offered to our quaint and cute Valley Zoo”

Alberta, Canada suffers from zoo envy.

Monday, November 14, 2005

“stuck on the African ship once it left the dock”

USATODAY.com presents: ratites for beginners.

“two incendiary devices under an expensive four-wheel drive”

UK AR thugs make common cause with “French” arsonists.

“It just seems like one of those things that was meant to be”

Yerkes National Primate Research Center necropsy ends in uncertainty, unable to state cause of death of 5-day-old Zoo Atlanta gorilla. Tissue samples will be examined by pathologists at the University of Georgia in Athens, who may choose to apply science rather than "some things man was not meant to know" platitudes.

All aboard the gravy train!

Discovery Channel's Animal Planet to add Jane Goodall Institute's unnatural warping of young minds with "Roots & Shoots Minutes"

“violating the zookeepers' collective bargaining agreement”

Burmese immigrant credits his family's prosperity in US to his willful disregard of zoo rules, discounts hard work.

“no long-term solution in sight”

New Delhi, India: 270 captured monkeys in shed meant for 200.
Rest of India: We have as many monkeys as we need, thanks, try next door.

Sunday, November 13, 2005

“expert skills in killing monkeys”

Body count climbs in Ugandan monkey reduction effort.

“a cage to catch the monkeys was put up, but without any success”

Goverment measures ineffective as Indian monkeys rampage.

“we really never expected him to live this long”

Family of pathetic no-lifes desperately demand attention outside Sequoia Park Zoo.

“Ethical Concerns”

Dog-cloning Korean mad scientist loses University of Pittsburgh collaborator over human egg procurement ethics problems. Both remain mum on mini-Kim project.

Saturday, November 12, 2005

“most likely shot by accident Monday”

Primatologist searching Congo for as-of-yet undiscovered species of primate with gorilla and chimpanzee characteristics shot in Atlanta random violence.

“first grandchild of the beloved Willie B”

Baby gorilla at center of Zoo Atlanta ape-napping headlines dies.

“zoo authorities feel jubilated”

New chimpanzees, other acquisitions, at India's Vandalur Arignar Anna Zoological Park.

“new polar bear and gorilla exhibits at the Como Zoo, among other projects”

Newly-elected St. Paul mayor Chris Coleman to spend with both hands. A polar bear vs. gorilla cage-match thing oughta play big, tho.

Goodbye, Jo Mendi

26-year-old alpha chimpanzee at Michigan's John Ball Zoo dies after dental surgery. Necropsy to follow.
limited-info registration link

“good days are less and less good”

As it must for all primates, death approaches for Toledo Zoo's Akbar the gorilla.

Friday, November 11, 2005

“they have been assaulting tourists for food”

India's monkey menace hurts tourism.

“Two is not enough”

Refuting Wednesday's allegations of attempted ape-napping, Zoo Atlanta officials shame-facedly return abandoned baby to heroic Kuchi the gorilla.

Adventures in misreading

Giant ape remains unearthed

Took me a minute to understand that it didn't mean that they hadn't re-interred it.

“the cultural diversity of China as a multi-ethnic country”

Mascots for 2008 Beijing Olympics announced, Monkey King nixed.

“half Sumatran, half Bornean hybrid”

Changes in store for Honolulu Zoo'a Rusti the orangutan.

Thursday, November 10, 2005

“People of Tokyo, run for your lives”

From the pages of Scientific American: King Kong vs. Godzilla.

“vocal in its claims that oil palm plantations are the culprits”

Lid blown off “Oil For Ape Scandal”!

“I'm very disappointed”

Ed Asner keeps shirt on whild decrying results of Kansas intelligent design decision.

“Two's enough”

Via Monkey Day News, Atlanta Zoo officials foil ape-nap attempt by mother of recently-born twin gorillas.

“as has Jane Goodall, the chimpanzee authority”

Aged Canadian scofflaw with a woodlot plays guru to foresters, college stoners, eco-celebrities.

“stop giving them food”

Monkey menace in Malaysia.

“They don't eat meals at home with family members”

Japanese primate specialist Nobuo Masataka fears mobile phones making Japanese chimp-like.

Avahi cleesei

Newly-discovered long-legged lemur named for John Cleese.

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

“Pay Peanuts, Get Monkeys”

Australian hospital picketers prepared with signs, banners. monkey costumes.

“our friends the Congolese”

Uganda's Koome Islands seek novel solution to monkey menace.

“native to Australia, Tasmania and New Guinea”

Sugar glider mysteriously turns up on Las Vegas-to-Honolulu flight.

Africa Screams

“Jungle” Jack Hanna takes it on the road.

“it looks healthy and is being well cared for by its mother”

Squirrel monkey born at Arizona's Phoenix Zoo.

Monday, November 07, 2005

Sandoz is safe, I see

PETA loons hope to cow Lilly, Merck, and Pfizer.

“the pretentious, the coy, and the cute”

The 1929 film The Taming of the Shrew is infamous for, among other things, the credit "By William Shakespeare, with additional dialogue by Sam Taylor". In other news, they've pissed on Strunk & White. Again.

“A major problem with attacks like these is that they hurt tourism across Africa”

Ugandan officials worry that gorilla tourism may be harmed by far-off Somali pirates.

“catastrophe in the next 100 years”

Global warming fears cast chill over Gullible-American community.

Gigantopithecus blackii

McMaster University geochronologist who fears no Leakey claims prehistoric bigfoot extinct only 100,000 years ago.

“six abstract paintings”

San Diego Zoo to auction paintings by orangutans.

“with Bill there are no easy answers”

Do-gooder without a clue seeks to complicate life for Sequoia Park Zoo's Bill the Chimpanzee, all for his own good.

Sunday, November 06, 2005

“doesn't mean it isn't going to rip your face off”

Humane Society of the United States plays to self-interest of Maryland legislators, arguing for wide-ranging exotic animal ban.

“may have taken drugs before the incident”

Cambodians, monkeys, terrified by naked German.

“Should your head be ripped off by a huge mountain gorilla...”

Things to expect at Indonesia's Ragunan Zoo.

Friday, November 04, 2005

“You have to be willfully willing to do something wrong to be negligent”

Emory University fined $1,375 for 2004 death of chimpanzee at their Yerkes Primate Center.

“Monkey Murderer”

Wisconsin State Journal boldly comes out against extremism in unsigned editorial.

and statistics

NBC's highly-rated ER shows clear signs of BDS. Nobody they know voted for him, betcha.

“swallowed pills that he was not supposed to”

Inquest into the death of Isaac Mofokeng who in 1997, shot, injured, and was captured by Max the gorilla at South Africa's Johannesburg Zoo.

Thursday, November 03, 2005

It's MADNESS!

Via Instapundit, mad scientists vie to build Supermouse!

“it was Babu's second attempted escape in a week”

Babu the red panda fails in zoo-break attempt at UK's Bristol Zoo.

“hold conservationist organisations accountable”

Rwanda would like an accounting of how gorilla research funds are being spent.

“However, as parents, we're helpless, aren't we?”

Powai, India woman resigned to animal house-invasions.

“doing many fun things with sock monkeys”

Rockford , Illinois claims the sock monkey as its own!

“There are heightened tensions during breeding season”

AR thugs attempt to stymie life-saving medical research at California National Primate Research Center

“Monkey See, Monkey Do”

Journalism taken to task for insufficient revolutionary zeal.

The Newtown Bee reviews Taunton Lake history

August 1, 1930: Frightened by thunder and lightning while sitting in the trees, Chico the monkey disappeared and was the object of a fruitless search.

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

“will next test the rice on monkeys”

Rice: what can't it do?

“Her monkey pooped on me and it all went downhill from there”

Reminiscing with the near-great.

“Viewers will be asked to vote for their favourite gorilla”

Czech public television to tout gorilla videoclips as “a meaningful alternative to "people" reality shows”

“without anyone noticing him”

Red Sox erstwhile GM reportedly fled Fenway in gorilla costume.

“small size and low-maintenance lifestyle”

Adventures on South Carolina's Morgan Island, where research monkeys are bred.

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

“We're not a zoo”

South Africa's National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals plans to euthanize thousands of baboons and vervet monkeys.

“The Zoo Atlanta family is elated”

Twin gorillas born at Georgia's Zoo Atlanta

“omnivores that ate just about everything”

Foodologists at University of Massachusetts-Amherst seek prehistoric recipes for Giant Lemur.

Shoes for industry,

Shoes for the dead!

“causing unnecessary suffering”

Three-week adjournment in trial of Welsh monkey-teaser.

After genetically modified monkeys get all the good jobs...

there will be nothing for you but orangutan urine collector and the like.

“cures that cost cents to the richest nation in the world”

Rich Hollywood star to demand higher taxes on middle-class to fund free health-care for world's poor.

Goodbye, Kuba

16-year-old lowland gorilla dies at Topeka Zoo while being doped for trip to Erie Zoo. (registration required) updated with non-registration link to story

Monday, October 31, 2005

“The Gorilla is very selective”

Campbell, CA plagued by gorilla-impersonating burglar.

Outsourcing nightmare!

Duke University neuroscientists teaching monkeys to count!

“reducing the number of plasmids”

US & Japanese scientists devise faster production of bird flu vaccine.

Not a post

Well, I see working a gag around “Libby, Libby, Libby on the label, label, label” is not a fresh idea, so the heck with that!

“Conan's afraid of wide open spaces”

Associated Press loves Chimp Haven:
They are at the home courtesy of Congress, which in 200(sic) passed the Chimp Act, providing up to $30 million to care for animals that were used as test animals in federal labs.
Which was damned big of them, eh?

“isn't some Halloween prankster wearing a gorilla suit”

Bib overalls still popular with old coots claiming bigfoot sightings.

Sunday, October 30, 2005

Friday, October 28, 2005

“the first biologist to study seahorses under water ”

Chevron Conservation Awards to environmentalists. Neither gills nor failed policies need be a barrier to award it seems:
Liza Gadsby and Peter Jenkins. The duo founded the Pandrillus organization in 1988 to protect the endangered drill monkey and other primates from extinction. As few as 3,000 drills remain worldwide.

“DISORDERLY CONDUCT CHARGES”

Pennsylvania gorilla-boy to face trial and all-caps.

OK everybody, get in a pile!

Stupid hippies celebrate the randy bonobo at the Bonobo Peace Forest.

“delay is unacceptable”

Cameroon demands South Africa pay reverse ransom for holding “Taipeng Four” gorillas.

“being paid to feed the animals”

Out-of-court settlement in Arkansas bitey chimp case.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Could do worse

Julius Caesar
You scored 59 Wisdom, 65 Tactics, 58 Guts, and 49 Ruthlessness!

Roman military and political leader. He was instrumental in the
transformation of the Roman Republic into the Roman Empire. His
conquest of Gallia Comata extended the Roman world all the way to the
Atlantic Ocean, introducing Roman influence into what has become modern
France, an accomplishment of which direct consequences are visible to
this day. In 55 BC Caesar launched the first Roman invasion of Britain.
Caesar fought and won a civil war which left him undisputed master of
the Roman world, and began extensive reforms of Roman society and
government. He was proclaimed dictator for life, and heavily
centralized the already faltering government of the weak Republic.
Caesar's friend Marcus Brutus conspired with others to assassinate
Caesar in hopes of saving the Republic. The dramatic assassination on
the Ides of March was the catalyst for a second set of civil wars,
which marked the end of the Roman Republic and the beginning of the
Roman Empire under Caesar's grand-nephew and adopted son Octavian,
later known as Caesar Augustus.
Caesar's military campaigns are known in detail from his own written
Commentaries (Commentarii), and many details of his life are recorded
by later historians such as Suetonius, Plutarch, and Cassius Dio.



My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
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You scored higher than 18% on Unorthodox
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You scored higher than 26% on Tactics
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You scored higher than 68% on Guts
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 33% on Ruthlessness
Link: The Which Historic General Are You Test written by dasnyds on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

“surely it would be kinder to just kill them”

Chimpanzee in Cameroon fostered by Scot.

“MobilePet Monkey”

Those with a cell and too much time on their hands may enjoy paying for a virtual monkey.

“man needs vast quantities of palm oil to fry his greasy foods”

You feel guilty about everything or you're part of the problem.

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Lese Majeste!

October 25. 1920: King Alexander of Greece dies after bite from pet monkey.

Monday, October 24, 2005

“Marmosets waited almost twice as long as tamarins”

Harvard scientists study different sorts of monkeys to learn details of immediate vs. delayed gratification. Don't snicker, you paid for it.

“Ghouls at Grassmere”

Tennessee's Nashville Zoo goes all Halloween. Boo.

“please don’t worry this baby orangutan might fall from the rope”

Modern zoo-keeping a hit with Japanese crowds.

Saturday, October 22, 2005

“made partly of elephant dung”

13 pictures of monkeys at center of £700,000 Tate Gallery scandal.

“a very mysterious skin condition”

I am not a chimpanzee,” insists Nobel-winner Harold Pinter, unconvincingly.

First they must agree on the shape of the table

"Taiping Four" gorillas still mired in diplomacy.

“The whole lot were put on antibiotics”

More chimpanzees sick with flu at New Zealand's Wellington Zoo.

Friday, October 21, 2005

Goodbye, Bahati

Four-year-old chimpanzee at New Zealand's Wellington Zoo euthanized after severe brain damage because of cardiac arrest in case of flu, pneumonia, despite best efforts of intensive care staff from Wellington Hospital.

“a viral infection”

Allie, Denver Zoo's ill orangutan, to get rehab at Iowa's Great Ape Trust.

“dumber than a tamarin or a marmoset”

Even stupid leftists agree: stoners are dumb as rocks.

PETA or PETA symps, I betcha!

USDA finds California's Sequoia Park Zoo not to blame in recent escape of Bill the chimpanzee after person or persons unknown vandalized his enclosure.

Thursday, October 20, 2005

“an unlicensed exhibitor whose monkey bit two preschoolers”

Dodgy zoos prosper more in the Eastern United States than in the rest of the country, say Agriculture Department investigators.

“This is like fighting a 1,000-pound gorilla”

Philadelphia councilman under federal investigation essays suicide attempt.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Monday, October 17, 2005

“and hunted the packs of pygmy elephants”

Hook, line, and shrinker.

“agreed to stop trying to infiltrate”

“PETA research and investigation director Mary Beth Sweetland calls it "a complete victory."” Cause they intend to be back in there next week?

“vice president of the Dian Fossey Gorilla Fund International”

Gorilla researcher inspired by King Kong, hoping for a ride on Peter Jackson's coattails.

“the chimps beat and often kill their neighbors”

Chimpanzees: watching the borders.

Saturday, October 15, 2005

“it changes your whole perception of reality”

Bigfoot believers convene in Texas.

“I think they miss the people”

Still cleaning up in New Orleans at Audubon Zoo.

“the governor did not appear to be pleased with the accord”

Sore losers get Argentine government to cancel results of auction of part of former Pizarro nature reserve

Thursday, October 13, 2005

“The Gorilla Pumpkin Hunt”

At the Cincinnati Zoo and Botanical Garden animals and pumpkins: box-office gold.

Biretia fayumensis, Biretia megalopsis

Anthropoid origin pendulum said to swing back to Africa as fossils of two 37-million-year-old parapithecoid species discovered in Egyptian desert.

“to take home four of their gorillas”

Saga of Taiping 4 drags on.

Haven't these people suffered enough?

Jane Goodall jets to Brownsville, TX.

“Am I over-reacting? I don’t know, I would like to think not. ”

Outrage! Monkeys not treated like dogs in Mauritius!!

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

“did not prevent the alleged entry of vandals onto zoo grounds”

PETA loons blame California's Sequoia Park Zoo for vandalism of Bill the Chimpanzee's enclosure. I know who I'm blaming!

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

“Traveling more than 300 days a year”

Jane Goodall's globetrotting knows no bounds. Today, Oakland.

“dressed up as gorillas”

Greenpeace interferes with lumber trade in Italy. A ship was boarded, activists chained themselves to things, a spokesman spoke, the lumber got where it was going.

“to revive the interest and knowledge about Albert Schweitzer ”

Jane Goodall's coming to Quinnipiac.

“in collaboration with the Harvard Peabody Museum and the Max Plank Institute”

Woods Hole Research Center goes ape to stave off extinction.

“Hey, mom. I saw a penguin”

Jack Hanna favors zoos.

“one of the best he's seen”

World Society for the Protection of Animals reviews zoos in Canada's Alberta province. Big thumbs up for Calgary Zoo.

“they have to be put into quarantine”

UK's Cefn-yr-Erw Primate Sanctuary seeks money to pay for a place to put baboons. And a green monkey.

Saturday, October 08, 2005

“panic gripped the entire area”

Part of India little affected by the recent earthquake still found it unsettling. By way of example:
The pet monkey of Ompal Samyal flattened his arms and legs and caught hold of the ground

“almost 3 million people have touched Mr. H”

Queen of the Chimps Jane Goodall packs Chico, CA's 1200-seat Laxson Auditorium.

“They often push knives into my tires”

Congolese bushmeat sellers unhappy being called cannibals by hectoring French bonobo fancier.

Goodbye, Anuhea

Juvenile chimpanzee dead of pneumonia at Hawaii's Honolulu Zoo.

“you can help by not purchasing a certain type of wood”

Baby orangutan Baji a big hit at Ohio's Toledo Zoo.

Friday, October 07, 2005

“there was a short circuit”

Monkey rescued after becoming entangled in the wires of a transformer in India's National Institute for Training in Industrial Engineering.

“The person who let him out probably thought he was freeing him”

59-year-old Bill the chimpanzee coaxed from area home after escape from vandalized enclosure at California's Sequoia Park Zoo.

“Mylo is living at the Scranton zoo”

Pennsylvania monkeynaps woman's rhesus.

Bring opera glasses!

Oregon Zoo adds second pygmy marmoset, “the world's smallest monkey”.

Thursday, October 06, 2005

More news from GMail

If the bird flu don't get ya the creeping crud from space will!

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

“semi-wild orang-utans roaming the protected Semenggoh forest”

Given a choice of foods, orangutans will choose durian, among others.

“somatic chimeras of cells derived from two products of conception”

Marmoset facts, on Gene Expression.

“studies with monkeys”

Researchers at Missouri's Washington University School of Medicine say middle ear a vital part of depth perception.

Top News from GMail

Bush Derangement Syndrome, thy name is Crock.

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

“at least five fatal cases of monkey bites in India every day”

India's Primate Research Centre emphasises that monkey menace must be addressed effectively.

I say, "Don't relay Chinese propaganda!"

&ldquo'The China Daily is reporting”... Which is why I chose to wait for someone else to touch it.

“colony's first baby in 15 years”

Macaque born at Delhi, India's State University College of Technology. Damned handy if India ever runs short of monkeys!

“more likely to survive and pass on their genes”

Scientists say human ancestors used tubers to survive. I know mine did!

“nature has its little way of dealing with that”

Mojo, Belfast Zoo monkey runaway, sent to South Africa's Induna Primate and Parrot Park.

“the importance of reporting suspicious activities with wildlife to the authorities”

Malaysia unable to protect its wildlife.

“said to have furthered general knowledge of evolution”

Jane Goodall performances much in the news of late.

Monday, October 03, 2005

“some chimps actually tiptoe over rocks”

Jane Goodall Institute says chimpanzees stay quiet when scared after experimentally frightening chimpanzees.

“We're doing it just in case”

Mothering lessons for Bess, pregnant orangutan at Arizona's Phoenix Zoo.

“on loan from two different owners”

Miami Metrozoo responds to Animal Rights Foundation of Florida accusations.

Saturday, October 01, 2005

I adopted a penguin and all I got was this stupid card

Found via Tim Blair, it seems that Australia's Penguin Foundation wants you to adopt a penguin, but you don't get to keep it or anything.

“Electron powder and vitamins”

Despite ever-increasing threat of “monkey menace,” Indian zoo obtains additional chimpanzees from Singapore.

“Some consider the pine-resin accent an acquired taste”

Greek wine is reviewed. Retsina is dismissed with a shudder, which'll happen.

“they want food from us, not sexual favours”

India's The Hindu calls for monkey menace to be addressed with “a realistic plan that is also humane.

“I like to think outside the box”

Alabama Gulf Coast Zoo to be the subject of 13-episode Animal Planet series.

“women have wings that are the same size as men's”

Brazil's Minister of the Environment hobnobs with Jane Goodall as both are feted at Jackson Hole Wildlife Film Festival.

“She was really cute about it”

Jane Goodall brings Roots & Shoots indoctrination tour to Alhambra, CA.

“prosimians, a division of primates”

New director of Duke University Primate Center to spend money on lemurs, the forgotten primate.

But the lemur's gotta go

Indiana Department of Natural Resources allows man with just a touch of animal hoarding to keep a mountain lion and two white tigers (who will eventually kill and partially consume him, but that'll be a story for another day.)

Friday, September 30, 2005

“to visit the mountain gorilla's of Uganda”

Florida woman realizes dream. Gorillas nonplussed.

“larger, stronger and slower”

Wild gorillas observed using tools.
Fairly or not, gorillas have been considered less capable than other great apes, in part because they have not been as extensively studied.

But not making tools, it seems.

Update: more

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

“they are my employees and I'm their boss”

Zookeeper at Budapest Zoo awfully sure of himself.

“arrogant abuse of a sacred trust”

I'm thinking if I knew how to save dwinding species, I wouldn't count on unsigned editorials to transmit that information.

Of course, if my way to do it was to tell zoos "breed them!", maybe I would.

“her coat remains free of ticks and fleas”

Dog fosters orphaned monkey in Thailand.

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

You know what acid rain does to limestone?

Iowa's Great Ape Trust commissions life-size 7-ton limestone sculpture of Azy the Orangutan. Statue webcam here.

“I want to stop and see that monkey guy”

Racine, Wisconsin: Man in bigfoot suit leads opposition to auction of YMCA camp.

Monday, September 26, 2005

“agitated and anxious”

Zoo gorillas stressed by crowds of the Irish.

“forced zoo keepers to move tapirs and llamas”

Mississippi's flood-ravaged Hattiesburg Zoo to reopen Wednesday. The howler monkey will be howling from temporary digs.

What to believe, who to believe?

Here we have a story of an ex-Miami Metrozoo chimpanzee now living in terrible conditions.

But here's the Google cache of a story on the author playing the fool outside Neiman Marcus, and here the organization she represents is charged with ties to ALF thugs.

Saturday, September 24, 2005

First Yahoo, now the Chimps!

Jane Goodall's “Roots and Shoots” allies with Chinese government to hector school-children and Beijing Olympic Games visitors.

After the Games, when war over Taiwan gets hot, I think we know now who'll command a huge army of fearless blood-thirsty chimpanzees, and who won't.

“President Bongo has set a new standard for wildlife protection”

10% of Gabon to be declared protected wildlife parks.

“a record haul”

20,000 new species expected to be discovered, declared endangered, in 2005.

Friday, September 23, 2005

“and a ring-tail lemur”

Animals at Indiana “squalid exotic animal farm” to be found better homes.

“they failed to get permits”

South African conservationists shocked to learn that baboon festival will feature a baboon. At present, it appears baboon festival will go ahead, but baboon-lessly.

“the fight to ensure the survival of the orang-utan”

It's all about palm oiiiil!!!

Thursday, September 22, 2005

“in the Niagara River just north of Niagara Falls”

Teach a chimpanzee to fish and he will eat for a lifetime&rdquo to be tested at Wildlife Festival 2005 in Lewiston, N.Y.

“a particular kind of monkey that doesn’t hang around the rivers”

Pestering wildlife in the Amazon.
I was there a year and had typhoid fever and systemic staph infections. My hair would fall out. My shoes would turn green just from the moisture in the air." "It’s such a beautiful place."

“torture camp for monkeys”

Lurkers don't support them in email.

“the 1986 nuclear explosion at Chernobyl”

It was International Peace Day, and all Kofi Annan got you was these idiots.

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

“bathe in a mixed-sex rotenburo with these primates”

Via Barking Moonbat Early Warning System, the Japanese fad for sharing a bath with wild monkeys.

“a silent but deadly fug”

Because the British don't lick doorknobs, I suppose.

“It was kind of freaky”

Dad chagrins California second-grader with gorilla-suit antics at Parent Teacher Club rally.

“My little boy loves watching the bears”

Record attendance at TX's Cameron Park Zoo, orangutans and komodo dragons to follow.

Monday, September 19, 2005

“monkeys also cause rabies”

Cows a major source of rabies in India, says India's National Institute of Communicable Diseases.

'Mhhh! O-h-h! O-h-h!'

As Aramaic was spoken in The Passion of the Christ, so Gorilla will be spoken in King Kong.

“209 rangers have been killed over the past 10 years”

Ugandan Wildlife Ranger may not be a career with a future.

Sunday, September 18, 2005

Paying for Katrina relief

Via Instapundit, N.Z. Bear is keeping a list of pork found by bloggers.

“like a little grenade”

Donut blaze prompts IBEW call for something costly to be done.

“$40 and some wire fencing”

Budding entrepreneurs without a business plan may want to consider a federal zoo license.

“learn about Jane Goodall’s Fifi”

Stalking Jane Goodall, with Google Earth

“1990: Komodo Dragon exhibit opens”

Some of the people behind Ohio's Cincinnati Zoo, and a timeline of that zoo.

“I needed to come out and see the monkey”

No room for pet monkeys in Pennsylvania, court reminds woman.

Friday, September 16, 2005

Thursday, September 15, 2005

“beavers came and gnawed down trees”

Canada's Metro Toronto Zoo adds “aboriginal traditional knowledge trail.” Since Indians are all wise and stuff.

“the most visited gag gift and novelty product web site”

PrankPlace Novelties, LLC, vendors of the "Nasty Little Bear" and the "Farting Monkey", relocates to Berlin, CT.

The Journey That Saved Curious George

How the creators of a "curious little monkey" fled from the Nazis.

“we do have high standards”

Gorilla-masked streaker of Syracuse, NY's Union Springs High School can't escape the Principal or the police.

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

“never-before-seen gorilla behavior”

Wild Chronicles, new PBS wildlife series, to be diluted with tornado chasers. How I loath them.

Monday, September 12, 2005

Sunday, September 11, 2005

“weren't phased in the least by his multiple attempts to tranquilize them”

Three chimpanzees from Zoo Nebraska killed in nearby Royal after escape . A fourth animal, Ripley, was returned unharmed to the zoo.

Update: More.

“Or use banana chips for the ears”

Monkey-themed cupcakes.

Friday, September 09, 2005

Thursday, September 08, 2005

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

"The key is being prepared"

Common sense and practical advice at Ripe Bananas.

“Apes and other vegetarians were given fruit-flavored popsicles”

Enrichment programs the hot ticket for zoos.

“Phoebe used a log in her enclosure to climb over a wall”

Chimpanzee recaptured unharmed as warning shots fired in Belfast Zoo escape bid.

“a coyote with mange”

Chicken-killing mystery critter shot and killed in Colemen, TX. Despite absence of sucked goats, el Chupacabras is invoked.

keep it in your pants!

Chinese monkey snatches, eats tourist's money.

Today in history

September 7, 1922: Tarzan of the Apes debuts at NYC's Broadhurst Theatre.

Monday, September 05, 2005

"TRIBES"

Whittle posts.

“This has led to an avalanche of work”

Reviled food additive sodium nitrite shows promising results in treatment of sickle cell anemia, heart attack, brain aneurysm, pulmonary hypertension .

“our projects in Madagascar”

The American Kestrel takes to the field, to be blogged at Lemur Epiphanies.

“a follow-up to similar talks in Paris two years ago”

Representatives of 23 governments and an assortment of conservationists to to ask "how can we save the apes" and "how much tax money can we spend in a week" in Kinshasa, Congo.

“his wife, Addie, wanted to return to the sea”

Terry L. Maple, gorilla behaviorist lately of Georgia's Zoo Atlanta, new chief of Florida's Palm Beach Zoo.

“There are no problems with them living together”

Capybara attacks and kills spider monkey at Japan's Asahiyama Zoo

Sunday, September 04, 2005

“three of the females have ovulated and made advances”

Jomo, new stud gorilla at Ohio's Cincinnati Zoo, introduced to the local talent.

“it disregards eons of history”

PETA loons taken to task.

“elephants, orangutans and rhinoceroses have fared relatively well”

Rough time for the critters at New Orleans Audubon Zoo, Aquarium of the Americas, and other Gulf Coast facilities.

"Once DeLuca picked up a monkey that worked for a disabled person"

Road-kill wrangler happy he's not stuck behind a desk.

"it's all the same once it's in the bowl"

Monkey meat a part of fine dining in Libreville, Gabon.

“They call it Wookie in Louisiana”

Swamp Ape faithful find a home at Florida Keys Community College.

Saturday, September 03, 2005

I need 500 buses, man!

JunkYardBlog has an even better photo, showing that you've been damn careless with the ones you had (seen at Instapundit.)

“the current national disgrace in New Orleans”

In a post that presages, I imagine, a bout of Rumplestilskin-like foot-stomping, Blue Mass. Group relays news that Gulf naval facilities will be repaired by Halliburton.

"This wretched ape got into my bungalow once and caused chaos"

Malaysian tea-grower has tales to tell.

"he's eaten monkey's brains, tiger penis soup, breast of lion"

GĂ©rard Depardieu will eat anything, it seems. Now, with the publication of his cookbook, you can as well.

Diverting the revenue stream

Lefter-than-thou FoA piles on PETA racism.

"free admission to refugees of Hurricane Katrina"

Katrina evacuees spend a day at Alabama's Montgomery Zoo.

"and even what we might recognise as political systems"

UK accepts EU money for great ape conservation, ignores impending EU demands for great ape self-determination.

"It is diabolic and demonic"

Monkey arrested in Nigeria, but I think police would have preferred arresting its owner.

Friday, September 02, 2005

“wild monkeys sinking down to their neck in the pools”

Thermophilic monkeys and archaea are considered. Well, monkeys are mentioned anyway.

"bears, monkeys, tigers, leopards and lions"

India's Jalpaiguri wildlife sanctuary to rehabilitate banned circus animals.

"the only ape found in India"

Superstition in China and Burma threatens India's endangered Hollock Gibbon.

“It is a double-edged sword”

Peace seen as harmful for orangutans.

“Hey, is that a monkey?”

Helping Hands trains Capuchin monkeys to assist quadriplegics.

"Jane Goodall's celebrity factor will attract plenty of interest to her causes"

Queen of the Chimps to pester Watertown, South Dakota on Sunday.

Random thing about New Orleans

The city's highest point is Monkey Hill inside the zoo

Thursday, September 01, 2005

"only 44 in captivity"

Diana monkey (Cercopithecus diana) born at Tulsa Zoo, who offer half-price admission in return for a donation to benefit hurricane victims.

"It's not their job. It's yours."

Feces Flinging Monkey talks sense.

As for donating, I trust the Salvation Army to make good use of the money I donated, and expect Noah's Wish to do likewise. Instapundit has a big list of charities.

"Its captors are demanding bar snacks"

Toy monkey held for ransom in UK.

"we reached a point beyond the horrific monkey’s power"

Famous last words after mountain climbers tempt fate.

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Gloom & Doom, with full-color plates

United Nations publishes World Atlas of Great Apes and their Conservation. Makes a great gift.

"small, worn and stained"

California Academy of Sciences anthropologist finds oldest first-ever chimpanzee fossil teeth: 500,000 years old.

DisasterWatch

Libertarian blogger tjic.com has all the latest on looting in the aftermath of Katrina.

Not monkey-related

You thought it'd be romantic, right?

"the monkey was damp and hungry when found"

Dillion, Ohio's blue-pants-clad monkey no longer missing.

"she noticed her number plate was gone"

Bridgetown, Barbados plagued by monkey destroying license plates.

All Singing! All Dancing! All Humming!

Monica! The Musical! to premiere Sept 21 at the New York Musical Theatre Festival.

That sounds about right

Researchers at UC Berkeley and Lawrence Berkeley National Laboratory say various bits of your brain age differently. Lately my short-term memory part seems exceptionally old.

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

“named Chanee meaning 'Gibbon' in Thai”

Australia's Western Plains Zoo displays four-week-old siamang.

Update: More, with photo.

DisasterWatch

Many good Katrina links at Alpaca Burger Forum.

"an urgent appeal to the international community"

Primatologists worked hard to develop the Regional Action Plan for Conservation of Chimpanzees and Gorillas in Western Equatorial Africa. Now, who's got $30 million handy, hmmm?

"the search for a mate continues"

New digs for Honolulu Zoo's Rusti the orangutan nearing the brink of fruition. Girlfriend prospects not so hot.

That's all normal, then

Leftists in monkey masks call for impeachment of Philippines President Gloria Arroyo.

“I don’t know when it occurred”

Monkey sculpture vandalized in Loveland Colorado.

meta, meta, meta

Something's wrong at Haloscan, site loads OK once their stuff is commented out. Normalcy returns.

"We get quite a lot of monkeys"

UK's Exotic Pet Refuge, where buyer's remorse goes to live.

Monday, August 29, 2005

A sort of civet, actually, not a monkey.

Kopi Luwak is name-checked in this list that capitalizes on the "coffee is good for you" meme.

“I must admit that I cackled gleefully at some of these gibes”

The Cultured Chimpanzee: Reflections on Cultural Primatology is reviewed. Quite a read, it seems, though apparently the jokes are all academic in-jokes.