"while swinging down from a treetop"

"Gibbon-style wedding ceremony in Thailand."

"home to the world’s only viable population of the red-banded langur"

Big plans being made for Malaysia's Maludam National Park.

"10 people were bitten by lions, tigers, wolves and monkeys at the zoo"

Canada's GuZoo Animal Farm, "animal welfare group," in dispute.

"monkeys aren't the easiest animals to live with"

Motley Fool pooh-poohs simian investment advisers.

"chimps learn to use computers"

There are, it seems, many ways to pass the time in "one of the nation’s most interesting and surprising visitor destinations," Columbus, Ohio.

"there will be one sure loser in the conflict: Mother Nature"

Rwandan / Congolese military clash, mountain gorillas hardest hit.

"the mangrove swamps are famous for their proboscis monkeys"

Borneo's bat caves, encrusted with the guano of uncounted centuries, offend the nose of the delicate traveller. Bats seem to like it, though.

"we will be putting in security sensors"

Cotton-top tamarin stolen from Australia's Mogo Zoo.

"there are no monkey heads in my fridge"

Surgeon who performed monkey head transplant proposes Rosey Grier / Ray Milland redux.

"I'm sitting there in a tepid pool of my own filth"

Columnist likens healthful showers to "an angry gorilla being hosed down in his cage by the zookeeper" and advocates the tub.

Chimeras

Mice, it seems, "have also been altered to produce viable monkey sperm." Which I shouldn't have thought was in particularly short supply.

"I can never remember wanting to do anything else"

Great Ape Trust of Iowa: a boy and his orangutan. More here.

"A lot of work goes into caring for the chimps"

"Save the Chimps" to fill Florida with cast-off chimpanzees.

"no specific date for the return of the primates or the number of orangutans"

Thailand to send ex-Safari World orangutans to Indonesia. Probably. Eventually.

"potential for hazards to the public and zookeepers"

Continuing problems at Binghamton, NY's Ross Park Zoo do not bode well for upcoming AZA accreditation.

"Do not be alarmed if monkeys get in the bath with you"

Hot-tubbing snow monkeys in Japan.

"a strong Rwandan Defense Force presence"

You can go see the gorillas at Rwanda's Parc National des Volcans secure in the knowledge that most tourists survive without incident.

"gave out free goodies"

Santa Claus makes early visit to Indiana's Potawatomi Zoo.

"the animal was unprovoked"

Chimp bites man at Indiana Shrine circus.

"the threatened primate species from Madagascar"

Lemur-breeding at Australia's Perth Zoo.