“get the monkeys down”

Manitowoc County's Two Rivers Opera House, remembered as a place where performing monkeys would get loose and need caught.

“I have the right not to have a goat in the seat next to me”

Americans with Disabilities Act rules change, service monkeys hardest hit.

“a Canadian goose versus a monkey”

Spider monkeys fail in escape attempt from Utah's Hogle Zoo.

“They’ve both been pretty chill”

Dallas Zoo welcomes two new adolescent male lowland gorillas: B’wenzi and Juba.

“Sumatran Orangutan Conservation Programme”

Expert from Jersey's Durrell Wildlife Trust plans visit to Indonesia's Batu Mbelin orangutan quarantine centre to see twins born to two blind orangutans.

Insert your own disparaging comment

UK student to be caged, live like a gorilla, for 24 hours at Paignton Zoo.

“Carefully and with a sedative”

Gorillas given thorough physicals by jumpy vets at Brookfield Zoo.

“they're not monkeys”

Ever-hungry alligators at St. Augustine Alligator Farm and Zoological Park watch new lemur neighbors with interest.

“It was sore but it was worth it”

Outgoing 18-year-old UK girl bounces more than six miles on a "space hopper" balloon while thinking of gorillas.

Compare & contrast

Titi monkey vs. Amherst County Courthouse monkey

“worth an estimated $100”

Abilene TX theft of "fuzzy, brown gorilla suit" unrelated to Jane Goodall's imminent arrival, authorities say.

“primates can suffer from post-traumatic stress syndrome and Stockholm syndrome”

Story Book Farm Primate Sanctuary, Canada's only primate sanctuary.

“police have identified three juvenile suspects”

A small monkey was found dead at Frank Buck Zoo in Texas, following a break-in by vandals this weekend.

“scientists seek to treat all species humanely”

Without research chimpanzees, new cures don't get discovered.

“other monkeys in the troop have started to serve as baby sitters”

Illinois's Niabi Zoo celebrates February birth of a black and white Colobus monkey, Hank.

“adventure is in her blood”

National Geographic pauses from non-stop AGW for the swimsuit issue.

Costly kebabs

Chimpanzee meat, at over 20 pounds a kilogram, seized from market stalls in Britain.

"cardiac tamponade"

Necropsy findings released in January death of Hank the chimpanzee at Tennessee's Chattanooga Zoo.

Goodbye, Maki

16-year-old chimpanzee at North Carolina Zoo, mother of the first chimp born there, dies after anesthesia as part of treatment for an abscessed tooth.

“Kambiri”

Four-month-old gorilla at the Boston's Franklin Park Zoo is named. Kambiri means “allow me to join the family.”

“inflammation of the brain, fluid in the lungs and fibrosis in the heart”

Necropsy fails to find definitive reason for death, but gorilla Kimba of South Carolina's Riverbanks Zoo and Garden stubbornly remains dead.

“he had died on the spot”

Man in India's Galta Gate dies after third floor rooftop fall while fighting marauding monkeys.

“Actually, he's Brisbane's stolen monkey”

The wrong stolen tamarin monkey turned in to Australia's Simbio Wildlife Park.

“more than two to three days to catch a monkey”

Municipal Corporation of Delhi wises up: if you want more monkey catchers, pay more for monkey catchers!

“proportionately largest brain of all primates”

Squirrel monkeys born at Virginia Zoo.

“seven in the past month”

Complaint filed, federal inspection planned, in death of Hank, 42-year-old chimpanzee at Chattanooga Zoo.

Goodbye, Lulu

46-year-old gorilla, first gorilla to give birth at New York's Central Park Zoo, dies Monday at Columbus Zoo and Aquarium after suffering seizures.

“the reincarnation of their ancestors”

Wild chimpanzees solve Gordian Knot.

“It was named Kipenzi”

Australia gains a gorilla!

Goodbye, Hank

42-year-old chimpanzee at Chattanooga Zoo dies in his sleep. Zoo plans to have life celebration, probably with religion-neutral dances.

“known to damage crops and steal food”

Japan's champion bitey monkey breaks jail.

“illegal ape parts”

Getting ahead in the bushmeat trade.

Yikes!

The always thought-provoking TJIC blog is down after Travis made a nekulturny joke. (h/t)

More

Still more.


OK, I hate joining things, but really!

“the first time the zoo’s chimps had attacked”

Friday, chimpanzees at Riverside Discovery Center in Scottsbluff, Nebraska bite two fingers off of keeper's hand. It's unclear if they were successfully reattached.

“We take a ‘hands-off’ approach with all primates”

Patas money born at Rosamond Gifford Zoo, in Syracuse NY.

“so she will have a tubal ligation”

Little Rock Zoo announced Wednesday that Judy the chimpanzee has lost two offspring: one stillborn, the other a few days after birth.

“langurs were brought in to keep the monkeys at bay”

At the Sanjay Gandhi Post-Graduate Institute of Medical Sciences in Lucknow, India, they'll set a monkey to catch a monkey.

“injuries mainly on the face”

Student injured in monkey attack at India's Jakhu temple (dedicated to Lord Hanuman, the monkey god.)

“fruit and other treats inside piñatas”

A party will be held this weekend at El Paso Zoo to celebrate the 20th anniversary of the birth of Henry the Sumatran orangutan.

“Penguins are exempt from the count this year”

Annual nearly-comprehensive animal count underway at London Zoo.

“hurting people”

Tennessee minister/photographer recounts his many adventures and his catholic diet while globe-trotting.

Not much meat on one, I bet

Madagascar police capture a poacher with 32 grilled lemurs.

More.

“tamarin monkeys are not allowed out to play in the snow”

Only animals with warm fur frolic in the cold of the UK's Linton Zoo.

“birthday party”

Maria, a native of Sacramento, lives with her parents Pablo and Amelia at the chimpanzee enclosure at the Land Park zoo.

“mother and baby are in good health”

They're breeding like bonobos at Ohio's Columbus Zoo and Aquarium.

“You don't want to transfuse the wrong type of blood”

Veterinarians at Chicago's Lincoln Park Zoo build a library on great ape hematology and an international registry to record the blood types of captive apes on four continents.

“EXOTIC ANIMALS DON'T MAKE GOOD PETS”

Illicitly-kept Marmoset in Michigan reported in a very shouty article.

“It's pretty amazing”

Baby orangutans get around the clock attention from keepers at Fresno's Chaffee Zoo.

“Refuting the animal-loving NGOs allegations”

India's Himachal Kheti Bachhao Sangarsh Samiti political party makes fighting monkey menace a priority.

“he throws presents to the chimps”

Santa visits the chimps of Loxahatchee, FL.

“ancient hominins”

Prehistoric Siberians interbred with "Denisovan" ape-men, Max Planck Institute Professor Svante Paabo says.

“a decline in topeng monyet”

Fashions change; Indonesia's performing monkeys hardest hit.

“eventually captured”

A pet capuchin monkey in Miami-Dade bit a local during an escape attempt.

“leaves the visitors with bad memories”

India's Himachal Pradesh state the site of battles between farmers, monkeys, and PETA loons.

“severed her spinal cord”

Guilty plea after weird "medical experiments" performed on vervet monkey in South African amateur lab.

“even though he has undergone treatment”

Chimpanzee at India's Mysore Zoo is disturbingly bald due to alopecia.

“for use in British labs”

Britain needs monkeys!

And you thought claddists were bad...

A new statistical model using DNA evidence claims that our evolutionary line diverged from that of chimpanzees 8 million years ago.

“booked all the rooms in ITC Maurya”

Commandos, snipers, and monkey catchers to be deployed to protect Barack Obama from New Delhi monkeys during his November jaunt.

“there is no cause for alarm at this time”

Scientist at California National Primate Research Center in Davis appears to have contracted a never-before identified strain of adenovirus from a colony of Titi monkeys. Authorities downplay need for immediate panic.

“a whole lot of monkey business”

Australia's Perth Zoo keeping busy with five primate births over the last six weeks.

“after it terrorized a neighborhood”

All ends well in Kansas City 300-pound chimpanzee escape.

“I call it ‘bug-eye gorilla’”

Bigfoot believers are seen, dimly, in Oregon.

Goodbye, Jilloch

A 34-year-old chimpanzee at Britain's Twycross Zoo died last weekend, after suffering heart failure.

“tetanus and rabies injections”

BBC cameraman at India's Commonwealth Games treated at hospital after attack by langur monkey, there to protect against attack by local stray bonnet monkeys.

“a special diet including protein shakes”

Charlie the chimp, at South Africa's Mangaung zoo, famous smoking chimpanzee, dies of old age at age 52.

More.

Only Nixon could go to China. Look what he brought back!

"S T U F F" and Paw Wall Hooks Recalled By Midwest-CBK Due to Violation of Lead Paint Standard

“severely ridiculed preparation”

Trained langur monkeys to be deployed at the 2010 Commonwealth Games in Delhi to protect visitors from marauding Common Indian Bonnet monkeys.

“chimpanzee rock-throwing draws large crowds”

Jerusalem's Tisch Family Zoological Gardens builds a reinforced glass barrier to protect visitors from chimpanzee-thrown stones.

“and a few months to live”

Retirement to Florida's Jungle Friends habitat for Benjamin, a bitey monkey of Catskill, N.Y.

Only Nixon could go to China. Look what he brought back!

Rechargeable Spotlights Recalled by Innovage Due to Burn Hazard

Black & Decker Recalls Random Orbit Sanders Due to Laceration Hazard

Jo-Ann Fabric and Craft Stores Recalls Roll-Up Blinds due to Risk of Strangulation

Fun Stuff Recalls Children's Toys Due to Choking Hazard

Godfrey Daniel!

The hills over San Antonio TX are roamed by a spider monkey, escaped from Primarily Primates Sanctuary.

You go deaf if they work, you catch on fire if not

Subwoofer Speakers Recalled by Paradigm Electronics Due to Fire Hazard

“It was later released”

Out-of-control monkey in India brought under control "using tranquilizing rubber bullets."

Only Nixon could go to China. Look what he brought back!

Toshiba Recalls T Series Notebook Computers Due to Burn Hazard

Next week: calendar reform!

Proposed constitutional amendment - Conservation of legislation: every new law passed must repeal an old one.

Dateline: Tropical Switzerland

A group of barbary apes who escaped from a Switzerland zoo establish breeding colony. And "experts say global warming and higher winter temperatures mean the primates will survive the winter."

“squirrels and monkeys are endemic”

Monkeypox: threat or menace?

Only Nixon could go to China. Look what he brought back!

Slow Cookers Recalled by Sensio Due to Fire Hazard; Sold Exclusively at Kohl's Department Stores

32-Inch Sharp LCD-TVs Recalled Due to Risk of Injury

“bitten by a monkey who wasn't properly guarded”

Lawsuit brought in case of Catskill Bed & Breakface.

“the monkey is winning”

Mishima Japan begins publishing a daily "biting monkey" alert as nearly 60 people bitten by rampaging macaque since mid-August.

Only Nixon could go to China. Look what he brought back!

Television Wall Mounts Recalled by Milestone AV Technologies Due to Injury Hazard

Magnetic Maze Boards Recalled by Lakeshore Learning Materials Due to Choking, Intestinal and Aspiration Hazards

“six-year-old male chimpanzee Johnny has arrived”

Ukraine's Kyiv Zoo, where two female chimpanzees live, gets their first male chimp.

Only Nixon could go to China. Look what he brought back!

Williams-Sonoma Recalls Baby Bottle Warmers Due to Burn Hazard

Char-Broil Recalls Vertical Gas Smokers Due to Injury Hazard

“the dog finally gave up and scampered away”

Mother monkey rescues her injured offspring in New Delhi.

Only Nixon could go to China. Look what he brought back!

Lan Enterprises Recalls Zooper Tango Double Strollers Due to Collapse Hazard

White Tiger Outdoor Folding Chairs Recalled Due to Fall Hazard

“greatest wildlife encounter on offer to travellers”

Lonely Planet Awards gives first prize (prizes are notional only) to a tour of mountain gorillas in Uganda.

Don't forget your shots!

Chinese Goods in the Nursery!

P. Graham Dunn Recalls Toy Rattles Due to Choking Hazard

Circus World Recalls Wireless Video Baby Monitors Due to Overheating Hazard

“saw what appeared to be teeth marks”

Three endangered ringtail lemurs to be euthanized as rabies precaution in Fort Edward, NY.

Update: Good news - no rabies. Bad news- the whole euthanasia thing.

“It's asking a lot of the animal”

Special techniques are used to help treat cardiopathy in Harvey, a 5-foot-tall, 150-pound chimpanzee at the Toledo Zoo.

“planning to return the animal to the wild”

Wild monkey caught in downtown Tokyo

Goodbye, Josh

20-year-old chimpanzee at Kansas City Zoo dies after some male chimps scuffled a day before.

"evidence of scientific misconduct"

Quality of science by Harvard Professor of Psychology, Organismic & Evolutionary Biology and Biological Anthropology Marc Hauser attacked by other scientists.

Goodbye, Juara

25-year-old male orangutan dies at St. Louis Zoo under anesthesia during routine physical.

Only Nixon could go to China. Look what he brought back!

Belle Vanity Benches Sold Exclusively at Tuesday Morning Stores Recalled By LaMont Limited

Additional Reports of Fires and Low Consumer Response Rate Prompt Reannouncement of Goldstar and Comfort-Aire Dehumidifier Recall

“trade it for a shiny red apple”

Gorilla-gaming.

“The monkeys were here before us”

"Height of cruelty" as monkeys poisoned in South Africa.

Only Nixon could go to China. Look what he brought back!

Fisher-Price Recalls Little People Play 'n Go Campsite™ Due to Choking Hazard

“teaching his offspring to dive for dinner”

Don't let monkeys watch Jacques Cousteau specials!

“the mother is not caring for it properly”

Trouble at the monkey-house at North Carolina Zoo as chimpanzee Maki proves to be an inattentive parent.