“severely ridiculed preparation”

Trained langur monkeys to be deployed at the 2010 Commonwealth Games in Delhi to protect visitors from marauding Common Indian Bonnet monkeys.

“chimpanzee rock-throwing draws large crowds”

Jerusalem's Tisch Family Zoological Gardens builds a reinforced glass barrier to protect visitors from chimpanzee-thrown stones.

“and a few months to live”

Retirement to Florida's Jungle Friends habitat for Benjamin, a bitey monkey of Catskill, N.Y.

Only Nixon could go to China. Look what he brought back!

Rechargeable Spotlights Recalled by Innovage Due to Burn Hazard

Black & Decker Recalls Random Orbit Sanders Due to Laceration Hazard

Jo-Ann Fabric and Craft Stores Recalls Roll-Up Blinds due to Risk of Strangulation

Fun Stuff Recalls Children's Toys Due to Choking Hazard

Godfrey Daniel!

The hills over San Antonio TX are roamed by a spider monkey, escaped from Primarily Primates Sanctuary.

You go deaf if they work, you catch on fire if not

Subwoofer Speakers Recalled by Paradigm Electronics Due to Fire Hazard

“It was later released”

Out-of-control monkey in India brought under control "using tranquilizing rubber bullets."

Only Nixon could go to China. Look what he brought back!

Toshiba Recalls T Series Notebook Computers Due to Burn Hazard

Next week: calendar reform!

Proposed constitutional amendment - Conservation of legislation: every new law passed must repeal an old one.

Dateline: Tropical Switzerland

A group of barbary apes who escaped from a Switzerland zoo establish breeding colony. And "experts say global warming and higher winter temperatures mean the primates will survive the winter."

“squirrels and monkeys are endemic”

Monkeypox: threat or menace?

Only Nixon could go to China. Look what he brought back!

Slow Cookers Recalled by Sensio Due to Fire Hazard; Sold Exclusively at Kohl's Department Stores

32-Inch Sharp LCD-TVs Recalled Due to Risk of Injury

“bitten by a monkey who wasn't properly guarded”

Lawsuit brought in case of Catskill Bed & Breakface.

“the monkey is winning”

Mishima Japan begins publishing a daily "biting monkey" alert as nearly 60 people bitten by rampaging macaque since mid-August.

Only Nixon could go to China. Look what he brought back!

Television Wall Mounts Recalled by Milestone AV Technologies Due to Injury Hazard

Magnetic Maze Boards Recalled by Lakeshore Learning Materials Due to Choking, Intestinal and Aspiration Hazards

“six-year-old male chimpanzee Johnny has arrived”

Ukraine's Kyiv Zoo, where two female chimpanzees live, gets their first male chimp.

Only Nixon could go to China. Look what he brought back!

Williams-Sonoma Recalls Baby Bottle Warmers Due to Burn Hazard

Char-Broil Recalls Vertical Gas Smokers Due to Injury Hazard

“the dog finally gave up and scampered away”

Mother monkey rescues her injured offspring in New Delhi.

Only Nixon could go to China. Look what he brought back!

Lan Enterprises Recalls Zooper Tango Double Strollers Due to Collapse Hazard

White Tiger Outdoor Folding Chairs Recalled Due to Fall Hazard

“greatest wildlife encounter on offer to travellers”

Lonely Planet Awards gives first prize (prizes are notional only) to a tour of mountain gorillas in Uganda.

Don't forget your shots!

Chinese Goods in the Nursery!

P. Graham Dunn Recalls Toy Rattles Due to Choking Hazard

Circus World Recalls Wireless Video Baby Monitors Due to Overheating Hazard

“saw what appeared to be teeth marks”

Three endangered ringtail lemurs to be euthanized as rabies precaution in Fort Edward, NY.

Update: Good news - no rabies. Bad news- the whole euthanasia thing.

“It's asking a lot of the animal”

Special techniques are used to help treat cardiopathy in Harvey, a 5-foot-tall, 150-pound chimpanzee at the Toledo Zoo.

“planning to return the animal to the wild”

Wild monkey caught in downtown Tokyo

Goodbye, Josh

20-year-old chimpanzee at Kansas City Zoo dies after some male chimps scuffled a day before.

"evidence of scientific misconduct"

Quality of science by Harvard Professor of Psychology, Organismic & Evolutionary Biology and Biological Anthropology Marc Hauser attacked by other scientists.

Goodbye, Juara

25-year-old male orangutan dies at St. Louis Zoo under anesthesia during routine physical.

Only Nixon could go to China. Look what he brought back!

Belle Vanity Benches Sold Exclusively at Tuesday Morning Stores Recalled By LaMont Limited

Additional Reports of Fires and Low Consumer Response Rate Prompt Reannouncement of Goldstar and Comfort-Aire Dehumidifier Recall

“trade it for a shiny red apple”

Gorilla-gaming.

“The monkeys were here before us”

"Height of cruelty" as monkeys poisoned in South Africa.

Only Nixon could go to China. Look what he brought back!

Fisher-Price Recalls Little People Play 'n Go Campsite™ Due to Choking Hazard

“teaching his offspring to dive for dinner”

Don't let monkeys watch Jacques Cousteau specials!

“the mother is not caring for it properly”

Trouble at the monkey-house at North Carolina Zoo as chimpanzee Maki proves to be an inattentive parent.

Only Nixon could go to China. Look what he brought back!

Atico International USA Recalls Bamboo Torches Due to Laceration Hazard

“ongoing monkey mayhem”

Mumbai monkeys injuring old ladies and stealing cellphones.

“fed a totally inappropriate diet”

UK marmoset is rescued from a diet of chocolate and marshmallows.

“It's just a cute little monkey on a tether”

Woman requires hospitalization after monkey attack in the Catskills

“so as not to trigger a hunt for them”

Lemurs who fled from their Austrian home in Salzburg's Hellbrunn zoo turn up in an area bar five days later.

“games involve rules”

Either GreenFudge.org is right and zoo gorillas play tag or these self-esteem majors can't recognize a round of grab-ass when they see it.

“she accidentally pressed the gas pedal”

Disabled driver drives into Nebraska City gift shop by hitting the wrong pedal while watching her helper monkey instead of the road.

“some patients naturally panicked and fled the hospital”

Four monkeys found dead in hospital’s overhead water tank in Agra, India.

Pepsi-capitalism

Horror of horrors: scienceblogs.com bloggers discover it's not the anarcho-syndicalist worker's collective they've assumed it was.

Update: Asylum chooses to henceforth be run by the inmates. Science!

“creating trouble for the residents”

Trouble-making monkey dies of electrocution after touching high tension wires in Gaushala Bazaar in India's Phagwara town.

Only Nixon could go to China. Look what he brought back!

Felt Bicycles Recalls Bicycles Due to Fall Hazard

“the smallest monkeys in the world”

Curraghs Wildlife Park in Ballaugh, on the Isle of Man, welcomes two pairs of pygmy marmosets. So, there's your vacation plans all made for you!

“had her throat slit after she was bound and gagged”

Ymke Warren, a British gorilla expert, reportedly has been murdered at her home in Cameroon.

“it seems questionable whether Sandar will survive”

Sandar, the sick little orangutan at Zoo Atlanta, continues to sicken.

Only Nixon could go to China. Look what he brought back!

Radio Systems Corporation Recalls Power Adapters Sold with PetSafe® Heated Wellness Sleepers Due to Fire Hazard

Children’s Jewelry Recalled by SmileMakers Due to High Levels of Cadmium

Southern Technologies Recalls Drill Presses Due to Shock Hazard

Edgy!

Wisconsin's New Zoo adds a snow monkey from New York to its snow monkey troop.

In other news: water is wet

Super Lightning Rocket Fireworks Recalled by Big Fireworks Due to Risk of Burn

Goodbye, Kimya

Kimya, the youngest gorilla at South Carolina's Riverbanks Zoo and Garden, was found dead Monday morning.

On my morning walk today...

Only Nixon could go to China. Look what he brought back!

Baby Walkers Recalled by Suntech Enterprises Due to Fall Hazard

“we don't have a wimpish bite at all”

C'mere ya big ape, I'll give you such a bite!

“to conquer her fear of monkeys”

Monkeys can smell fear, and it makes them bitey!

“they eat people’s faces off”

Why monkeys make terrible pets and bananas are perfect.

Buy Chinese in haste, repent at leisure

Regal Lager Recalls Infant Carriers Due to Fall Hazard

Target Recalls Children’s Belts Due to Violation of Lead Paint Standard

Only Nixon could go to China. Look what he brought back!

Crate and Barrel Recalls Succulent Plant-Shaped Candles in a Pot Due to Fire Hazard

“groups of Barbary Macaques are out of control”

Barbary apes make themselves a nuisance for Gibraltar hoteliers, guests.

He didn't know his own strength!

20-year-old silver back gorilla shuts down exhibit at Zoo Atlanta when he damages protective window charging at hated veterinarians.

“believed to be world first”

Chimpanzee in New Zealand's Wellington Zoo gets life-saving surgery for a bacterial ear infection

“they heal really well”

Memphis Zoo staffers feel their gorillas are getting comfortable with each other.

“It is premature to comment on this issue”

Officials of India's Pune Public Works Department eye monkeys as possible cause of untimely death of 35-year-old contractor killed when a boulder rolled down a section of the Katraj ghat.

Only Nixon could go to Beijing. Look what he brought back!

GE Recalls Front Load Washers Due to Fire and Shock Hazards

“there hadn't been a lemur escape in at least a decade”

Duke University's Lemur Center gets back their pair of ringtail lemurs who escaped across town to Cresset Christian Academy.

I blame Nixon

Bayside Furnishings Recalls to Repair Youth Beds Sold at Costco Due to Entrapment Hazard

“an enriching effect on animal behaviour”

Orangutans at the zoo find humans amusing, fascinating.

“You poor brute of a killer without a conscience, I'm wet with compassion”

Arizona's Pinal County Historical Society Museum features the craft works, including a sock monkey, of trunk murderer Winnie Ruth Judd.

“If she dropped a jar of oregano”

Service-monkeys A-OK with Vermint Fish and Wildlife Commissioner.

“he fancies a nibble”

Those wacky orangutans!

“two adult and two baby tamarins and four male pygmy marmosets”

Monkey-nappers strike Australia's Symbio Wildlife Park.

Update: Found

“participants learned how to fire off bottle rockets”

Japanese villagers train in using fireworks to drive off marauding monkeys.

They don't look very dangerous to me, frankly

Basketball-Shaped Chair and Ottoman Sets Recalled by Colleen Karis Designs Due to Violation of Lead Paint Standard; Sold at HomeGoods Stores

Buckyballs® High Powered Magnets Sets Recalled by Maxfield and Oberton Due to Violation of Federal Toy Standard

“a white-crowned mangabey and a sulawesi crested macaque”

Simian births noted at Irelands's Dublin Zoo

“talking to the Indonesian authorities”

Darwin Australia vexed by roaming mystery monkey.

“She marched to the beat of her own drum”

Sandy Herold, former owner of Connecticut chimpanzee that mauled Charla Nash, reportedly dead of a ruptured aortic aneurysm.

La-de-da ook-ook

Chimpanzees are social climbers, anthropologists say.

Bow first or apologize first?

In Bali, officials prepare for a visit this summer by Barack Obama. One concern is the monkeys that populate the sacred temple at Uluwatu. An official has suggested that the monkeys be bribed with large amounts of food in the days prior to Obama's visit.

Buy Chinese in haste, repent at leisure

HP Expands Recall of Notebook Computer Batteries Due to Fire Hazard

OK, in for a penny

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“authorities believe the monkey has an owner”

Greenwich CT officials give up on search for mystery monkey who was or was not seen during town.

Buy Chinese in haste, repent at leisure

Primal Vantage Expands Recall of Plastic Tree Steps Due to Fall Hazard

Walmart Recalls General Electric® Coffee Makers Due to Fire Hazard

“He's funny like he's just like a real baby”

Special treatment brought in for sick little orangutan at Georgia's Zoo Atlanta.

Buy Chinese in haste, repent at leisure

Children's Deaths Prompt Recall of Toy Dart Gun Sets Sold Exclusively at Family Dollar Stores

Children's Giraffe Blanket Recalled by Rashti & Rashti Due to Choking Hazard; Sold Exclusively at Target Stores

“tourism activities have not been affected”

Cold weather blamed for four gorilla deaths in Rwanda.

Buy Chinese in haste, repent at leisure

Junk Food Clothing Co. Recalls Children's Hooded Sweatshirts with Drawstrings Due to Strangulation Hazard

“an extremely unusual incident”

A baboon caretaker at San Antonio's Southwest Foundation for Biomedical Research Center was hospitalized after being attacked by two of his charges.

Buy Chinese in haste, repent at leisure, Jean-Claude Killy

Rome Snowboards Recalls Bindings Due to Fall Hazard

Buy Chinese in haste, repent at leisure, American flyboy!

Remote-Controlled Helicopters Recalled by Imagine Nation Books Due to Fire and Burn Hazards

“about 120 zookeepers, zoo curators and conservationists”

Oklahoma City Zoo hosts the International Gorilla Workshop this week.

Buy Chinese in haste, repent at leisure

Claire's Recalls Children's Metal Charm Bracelets Due to High Levels of Cadmium

Buy Chinese in haste, repent at leisure

Conair Recalls BabylissPro Compact Hair Dryers Due to Laceration Hazard

Girls’ Vests with Drawstrings Recalled by MIM-PI USA Due to Strangulation Hazard

“a brief but public foray”

Texas zoo-goers, media, blush when proud mother Bonobo and random nearby male engage in vigorous bout of what bonobos are best known for, at Fort Worth Zoo.

Buy Chinese in haste, repent at leisure

Klean Kanteen Recalls Water Bottle Spouts Due to Choking Hazard

Bicycles Recalled by Nirve Sports Due to Fall Hazard

Buy Chinese in haste, repent at leisure, fashionplate!

JD Fine & Company Recalls Children's Hooded Sweatshirts with Drawstrings Due to Strangulation Hazard

“just won't be the same without him”

New Zealand's Natureland Zoo mourns the loss of Ricky The Monkey, a brain-injured capuchin, of a suspected heart attack.

“turning destructive when they reach sexual maturity”

Vermont woman suffering from multiple sclerosis gets permission from state Legislature for service monkey. If it works out badly, I'm sure taxpayers will be happy to, uh, pay.

Buy Chinese in haste, repent at leisure, ya geek!

Comarco Recalls Power Adapters for Laptops Due to Burn Hazard

Buy Chinese in haste, repent at exercise

ICON Health & Fitness Recalls Inversion Benches Due to Fall Hazard

Buy Chinese in haste, repent at leisure

Gogo Sports Recalls Children’s Hooded Sweatshirts with Drawstrings Due to Strangulation Hazard