Buy Chinese in haste, repent at leisure, pa rum pum pum pum

Step2® Recalls Basic Rhythms Drum™ Toys Due to Choking Hazard

“vacant windows have been loaned as art space”

Connecticut's Norwalk Arts Commission to hide failed local economy with Potemkin Public Art Installation.

Goodbye, Gordy

23-year-old male western lowland gorilla at Minnesota's Como Zoo dies suddenly and unexpectedly. Necropsy results are awaited.

"The zoo asks that in lieu of flowers, donations can be made to Como Friends."

Buy Chinese in haste, repent at leisure (this means you)

Low Return Rate and Additional Reports of Fires Prompt Re-announcement of Coby Electronics Portable DVD/CD/MP3 Player Recalls

“only 12 other crested capuchins living in U.S. zoos”

Rare crested capuchin born at California's Santa Ana Zoo.

“it was Vilson's second escape in two weeks”

A brief escape by Vilson the gibbon, at New Zealand's Wellington Zoo, ends satisfactorily. "The fact he's out again is frustrating, because it means he's far more intelligent than all of us ... Our job is to contain him and obviously at this stage we're not doing this."

“since wrestling a banana from Genta”

Japan's Mount Takasaki nature park notes the reign of Zoro, alpha male, now for a record 11 years and three months

“It was so much fun”

Florida's mystery monkey draws copycat imitators.

“they're going to kill me”

Death threats for trapper working to catch Florida's mystery monkey.

“it's now gone viral on the Internet”

Apparently I'm late to the story of a New Hampshire man in a gorilla suit pestering firefighters.

“ran away following a playground-like spat with other monkeys”

The backstory on the "missing UK monkey" from Tuesday.

Buy Chinese in haste, repent at leisure

Deux par Deux Minimome Recalls Children's Snowsuits and Coats with Drawstrings Due to Strangulation Hazard

“safely returned to the zoo”

Missing monkey in UK is missing no more.

“he is fighting for his life”

Baby orangutan at Zoo Atlanta feared to be failing to thrive.

“scooped mouthfuls of seed out of a bird feeder”

The story of Florida's mystery monkey continues.

“in return the country will be getting foreign exchange”

Uganda to export monkeys to Russia. How they'll be received isn't discussed.

“tried to re-claim his tiffin”

Softly softly catchee monkey, or else!

“this is such a rare event”

Ring-tailed lemur triplets born at UK's Beale Park.

Goodbye, Jessy

22-year-old female chimpanzee dies after fall at India's Alipore zoo.

“not going to hurt anybody or anything like that”

North West of England troubled by escaped Capuchin monkey.

Buy Chinese in haste, repent at leisure

Foria International Recalls Women’s Peacoats Due to Violation of Federal Flammability Standard

Update: Children's Hooded Jackets with Drawstrings Recalled by 5 Star Apparel Due to Strangulation Hazard

“I'm pumping blood all over”

Noah, the bitey service monkey from Chesapeake, Va, now somebody else's problem.

¡Cuidado! Simios!

Chicago's Brookfield Zoo opens their Ape Awareness program.

Buy Chinese in haste, repent at leisure

Gund Recalls to Replace Baby Books Due to Choking Hazard

Goodbye, Yeboah

Gorilla Yeboah dies at London Zoo after a heart attack. Results of a post-mortem examination are expected to be revealed in a few weeks. *

‘described her condition as “very delicate"&rsquo

Young female gorilla at Louisville Zoo continues to improve after the loss of part of her left leg in "a skirmish within the family group.”

Buy Chinese in haste, repent at leisure

Crate and Barrel Recalls Glass Water Bottles Due to Laceration Hazard

Chrome Shelving Recalled by King Long Metal Due to Injury Hazard; Sold Exclusively at Costco

Bauer Recalls Children's Hockey Sticks Due to Violation of Lead Paint Standard

“the body can easily be disposed of”

Outdoor Life readers discuss what guns to hunt the Florida mystery monkey with.

Buy Chinese in haste, repent at leisure

Howard Berger Recalls Extension Cords and Power Strips Due to Fire Hazard

Boys’ Vests and Hooded Jackets with Drawstrings Recalled by North-Sportif Due to Strangulation and Entanglement Hazards; Sold Exclusively at Burlington Coat Factory

Ardica Recalls Heated Jackets and Vests Due to Burn Hazard

“wait until someone snaps a photo of the monkey eating a baby bald eagle”

Florida's mystery monkey no joke to Keystone Kops outsmarted wildlife officials who can't catch him.

“this is not a simple little argument”

Orangutan-on-orangutan violence at the Milwaukee County Zoo.

More.

Casey Jones was an Engineer

Kentucky Department of Agriculture fines Louisville Zoo $37,000 for deficiencies in train ride that derailed at the Gorilla Forest exhibit in 2009, injuring 22 people. (No gorillas were harmed).

Buy Chinese in haste, repent at leisure

Girls’ Hooded Jackets with Drawstrings Recalled by Bubblegum USA Due to Strangulation Hazard; Sold Exclusively at Burlington Coat Factory

Girls’ Hooded Sweaters with Drawstrings Recalled by Children’s Apparel Network Due Strangulation Hazard

“we couldn't fool her in any way”

Plans made for 50th birthday celebration for Duchess, orangutan at Phoenix Zoo.

Worlds collide

I think they were afraid it might rub off

h/t Lileks tweet.

Buy Chinese in haste, repent at leisure

Do It Best Recalls Bicycle Bells Due to Violation of Lead Paint Standard

“there's been thousands of dollars already spent on this”

Florida's mystery monkey continues to be seen, not caught.

“took a bite out his hand”

Virginia man reminded monkeys make poor pets.

Buy Chinese in haste, repent at leisure

Remote Control Kits for Electric Fireplaces and Stoves Recalled by Dimplex North America Due to Fire and Burn Hazards

Mobile Power Packs Recalled By Tumi Due to Fire Hazard

Meta meta meta

I return from the Great Not-a-hurricane of 2010.

Buy Chinese in haste, repent at leisure

Telebrands Recalls Scarves with Microwaveable Heat Packs Due to Fire and Burn Hazards

Byer California Recalls Girls’ Jackets with Drawstrings Due to Strangulation Hazard

CPSC Issues Warning on Children’s Winter and Holiday-Themed Charm Bracelets with High Levels of Cadmium

Noncontact Electrical Tester Recalled by Fluke Due to Shock or Burn Hazard

Cryptococcus neoformans

Maya, cotton-top tamarin at Chattanooga Zoo, born in May, dead of uncertain causes.

Stay alive, don't buy Chinese!

Gerber Legendary Blades Recalls Machetes Due to Laceration Hazard

“sold the monkey to a collector”

Pet shop owner steals squirrel monkey, attempts to steal Humboldt penguin from Japan's Nagasaki Bio Park.

“I felt sorry for him”

Unsuccessful woman with a banana chases Florida's mystery monkey.

“do not make contact with the rock-monkeys”

Taiwan to impose fines on hikers who feed monkeys on Chai Mountain.

Goodbye, Jackie

Jackie, 35-year-old chimpanzee at TN's Knoxville Zoo, dies after the death of her unborn baby.

“turning him into a drug addict”

Florida's monkey-on-the-run may have been shot with tranquilizer darts so often that he's getting to where he likes it.

“one of Bristol’s best-loved figures”

Remembering when 3 students stole a 7ft stuffed gorilla from UK's Bristol Museum.

Stay alive, don't buy Chinese!

Boys’ Hooded Jackets with Drawstrings Recalled by Ten West Apparel Due to Strangulation Hazard; Sold at Burlington Coat Factory

“wildlife officials say there’s no need to worry”

Months later(*), Florida "police, wildlife officers and trappers" are still stymied by a little monkey.

*

Stay alive, don't buy Chinese!

Children's Fork and Spoon Sets Recalled by Peachtree Playthings Due to Choking Hazard; Sold at Dollar Tree and Deals

“a very charming gorilla”

Yeboah, new male gorilla at London Zoo, charms the female gorillas with continental manners.

I suspect a hoax, but...

It's rehab for Zhora, Russian chimpanzee with alcohol and tobacco dependencies.

“the oldest male chimp in an accredited zoo in the United States and Europe”

Thumbs-up for San Francisco Zoo's Cobby, 52-year-old chimpanzee on his physical exam at University of California-San Francisco.

“on it’s way to leading a normal life”

Successful surgery on Peanut, a baby ring-tailed lemur with a damaged femur, at Michigan's Summer Wind Farms Sanctuary.

“sold illegally”

Bail for UK lemur-merchant.

“He's doing very well”

Successful cataract surgery for Boscoe the black-and-white ruffed lemur at Pittsburgh Zoo & PPG Aquarium.

“it can be fatal if transmitted to humans”

Inhabitants of the drive-through monkey jungle at UK's Longleat safari park will be quarantined from human visitors in herpes scare.

Stay alive, don't buy Chinese!

Bobens Trading Recalls Girls’ Hooded Sweatshirts With Drawstrings Due to Strangulation Hazard; Sold Exclusively at Burlington Coat Factory

Girls’ Hooded Sweatshirts Recalled by Weeplay Kids Due to Strangulation Hazard

Children’s Hooded Jackets Sold Exclusively at Burlington Coat Factory Recalled by Franshaw Due to Strangulation Hazard

Children's Hooded Sweatshirts with Drawstrings Recalled by Baycreek Due to Strangulation Hazard

A government job, I don't doubt

Social reformers mock humans with memorial for a dead monkey.

“orangutans ... exhibit ... emotional contagion”

It's "tell an animal a joke" Day!

“she didn't go for my face”

Fortunate chimpanzee-attackee tells her tale.

“live on grass and wide open spaces”

Florida readies for immigration of chimpanzees from New Mexico.

“by giving them poisoned banana”

Villagers in West Java avenge their crops, destroyed by monkey menace.

“an ape-for-hire”

Clint Eastwood's former orangutan co-star comes to the rescue when a caretaker at Great Ape Trust in Des Moines is attacked by another orangutan.

“a keeper noticed her sitting on top of her cage”

180-pound gorilla recaptured at Dallas Zoo after pre-Valentine's Day escape attempt.

Update: Blame assigned.

“injuries that did not appear to be life-threatening”

Volunteer at Florida's Suncoast Primate Sanctuary attacked by a chimpanzee.

Stay alive, don't buy Chinese!

Tiny Love Recalls Wind Chime Toys Due to Puncture and Laceration Hazards

Britax Recalls Strollers Due to Risk of Fingertip Amputations and Lacerations

Stay alive, don't buy Chinese!

Innovage LLC Recalls Discovery Kids Lamps Due to Fire and Burn Hazards

“Monkeys can be aggressive and bite”

Darwin in Australia's Northern Territory worries about a wandering unregistered monkey.

“the gender can’t yet be determined”

Saturday saw a gorilla baby (or a baby gorilla) born at Louisville Zoo!

Stay alive, don't buy Chinese!

Dollar General Recalls Toy Guns Due to Choking Hazard

“Julie did not get along with Jimbo”

Blaming the victim, Knoxville Zoo ships suspected troublemaker Julie the chimpanzee to Albuquerque, (but it's a dry heat!)

Stay alive, don't buy Chinese!

Children’s Greeting Cards with Bracelets Recalled Due to Violation of Lead Paint Standard

Children’s Hooded Sweatshirts with Drawstrings Recalled by New Mode Sportswear Due to Strangulation Hazard

Children’s Jackets with Drawstrings Recalled by GTM Sportswear Due to Strangulation Hazard

Children’s Toy Jewelry Sets Recalled by Playmates Toys; Charms Violate the Total Lead Standard

“Howler Monkey Gives Birth”

It's a little bit louder now at New Mexico's Rio Grande Zoo.

“the first time it has been scientifically proven”

Scientists at Japan's University of Tokyo and University of Shiga Prefecture's School of Human Cultures attach electrodes to chimpanzee's head and play a recording of her own name, a similar name, an unknown name and a noise that sounded close to her name in random order to see what'll happen.

Stay alive, don't buy Chinese!

FAF Inc. Recalls Children's Necklaces Sold Exclusively at Walmart Stores Due to High Levels of Cadmium

“I named my daughter after her”

Samantha, western lowland gorilla at Cincinnati Zoo, will turn 40 Sunday.

“No injuries were reported”

Inflatable gorilla runs amok in Houston, TX, sets a shopping center ablaze.

Stay alive, don't buy Chinese!

Regal Lager Announces Recall to Repair CYBEX Strollers; Risk of Fingertip Amputation and Laceration Hazards

Zippo Recalls Candle Lighters Due to Burn Hazard

Ever notice how...

Democrats all look and sound the same?

Stay alive, don't buy Chinese!

Boy's Three-Piece Santa Sets Recalled by Macy’s Due to Choking Hazard

Horse Toy Figures Recalled by Blip Toys Due to Violation of Lead Paint Standard

RadioShack Recalls Knight Hawk Toy Helicopters Due to Fire Hazard

“may have become overly excited”

Japanese macaque captured with a net in a stairwell of restaurant in Tokyo's Taito Ward.

“the iniquitous Biomedical Research Center”

30 rhesus monkeys kicked to the curb in Shivapuri India.

Stay alive, don't buy Chinese!

Graco Recalls Strollers Due to Fingertip Amputation and Laceration Hazards

Johnson Health Tech North America Recalls Horizon Fitness and LIVESTRONG™ Fitness Elliptical Trainers Due to Fall Hazard

Lysol Steam Cleaning Mop Recalled by Conair Corp. Due to Burn and Laceration Hazards

Your tears taste so sweet, Arianna

Still in mourning for MarciaMartha Coakley’s epic fail, HuffPo reports that "Christofur" has been selected as the name of LA Zoo's new Kikuyu colobus monkey, born under confusing circumstances.

“her third offspring”

Gorilla birth expected at Czech Republic's Prague zoo.

“if you pay peanuts, you get monkeys”

Chimpanzees at Scotland's Edinburgh Zoo to film their own exploits.

I fear eventual repercussions, but I continue

Children’s “Big Rex and Friends” Cloth Books Recalled Due to Risk of Lead Exposure

Rockler Companies Recalls LED Light Kits Due to Burn and Fire Hazards

Pier 1 Imports Recalls Santa Tea Light Holders Due to Fire Hazard

And our heads from their asses presumably

British scientists declare human hands evolved from ape's feet.

Like Acorn, but furry

Illinois democrat climbs in with the widely-hated pressure group HSUS and proposes requiring a certificate for monkey ownership.

Meta meta meta

Very busy at work, starting to see that improving, will be able to resume posting in the next few days, I expect.

Stay alive, don't buy Chinese!

Primal Vantage Recalls Plastic Tree Steps Due to Fall Hazard

Update: Acer Recalls Notebook Computers Due to Burn Hazard

Stay alive, don't buy Chinese!

Jide Trading Recalls Toy Military Figure Due to Violation of Lead Paint Standard

Sagittarius Sporting Goods Recalls Gas Grills Sold at Lowe’s Stores Due to Fire and Burn Hazards

“the worst conditions we’ve experienced since the mid-1990s”

Baboons at UK's Knowsley Safari Park ward off the decline with a nice baked potato.

Unwise choice of habitat

Most active volcano in the world threatens Democratic Republic of Congo's chimpanzees.

Stay alive, don't buy Chinese!

Dehumidifiers Recalled by LG Electronics Tianjin Appliance Due to Fire and Burn Hazards

Dorel Juvenile Group Recalls Play Yards with Bassinets Due to Suffocation Hazard

“hold on to your belongings”

Travel writer proclaims “When Visiting Gibraltar, Watch Out for the Apes”

“frightening rituals involving animal sacrifices”

Philadelphia SPCA discovers a graveyard of ram, sheep and monkey skulls, a turtle shell, and a lot of chicken feathers.