“one of the best 15 zoos in the world”

UK's Chester Zoo evacuated after chimpanzee escape.

Update: 30 chimps escaped.

“it does far more than thrill visitors”

Bronx Zoo celebrates 10 years of Congo Gorilla Forest.

Who says monkeys don't do irony?

Priest, worshippers attacked by menacing monkeys at India's Bade Hanuman Temple

“males may become frustrated”

Brazil's muriqui not entirely the peaceful and egalitarian primate some people enjoy imagining.

“Jocco was suffering from jaw cancer”

At UTs Hogle Zoo, Jocko the capuchin monkey, perhaps one of the world's oldest, is so no longer.

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Simplicity Drop Side Cribs Recalled by Retailers Due to Risk of Death from Suffocation

Aqua-Leisure Industries Recalls Inflatable Baby Floats Due to Drowning Hazard

“should have shown better judgment”

Sasquatch interviewed by Fairfield CT police, and turned over to his parents.

“prosimians”

New thoughts on our early primate ancestors.

“trained a chimpanzee to make a long pole”

St Andrews University in Scotland to introduce DIY videos for chimpanzees.

“some monkeys are going to escape”

Planned monkey-breeding facility in Puerto Rico faces stiff opposition.

“Several complaints have been made”

Kataragama, Sri Lanka, suffers monkey-caused telephone outages.

“because he is considered domesticated”

Lemur-fanciers eye leaving haters behind.

“the equivalent of an 80- or 90-year-old”

52-year-old Colo, the oldest gorilla in captivity, to undergo a heart work-up at Columbus Zoo and Aquarium.

Update: the procedure went well.

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Big Muddy Motor Sports Recalls Generators Due to Fire Hazard

“Blue monkeys aren’t actually blue”

Allegedly blue monkey unveiled at Omaha's Henry Doorly Zoo!

Update: This may be your last chance!

“spending a penny on Zambia's PRESIDENT”

Monkey urine is funnier with britishisms!

Goodbye Jamie

24-year-old lowland gorilla dies during a routine medical examination at Birmingham Zoo. A necropsy is planned.

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Applica Consumer Products Inc. Recalls Black & Decker® Spacemaker™ Coffeemakers Due to Burn Hazard

What's German for 'Stumpy'?

The director of Berlin Zoo seeks a new nickname as chimpanzee Pedro bites off his finger.

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Body Boards Recalled by JGR Copa Due to Violation of Lead Paint Standard

“found them in possession of five dead black-shanked douc langurs”

Vietnam sentences killers of monkeys.

“marijuana and a pipe in the cage with the monkey”

Nebraska sherriffs questioned Elvis, a Tamarin monkey found in a car with marijuana.

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Children’s Necklace and Bracelet Sets Recalled by D&D Distributing-Wholesale Due To Choking Hazard

“He is like my son”

Every monkey gets one bite, in Nebraska.

“an established scientific practice of questioning data”

Anthropologist makes waves, declares we're more closely related to orangutans than we are to chimpanzees!

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Wagner Spray Tech Recalls Heat Guns Due to Fire and Burn Hazards

Campbell Hausfeld Recalls Air Compressors Due to Fire Hazard; Sold Exclusively at Wal-Mart

Children’s Necklace and Bracelet Sets Recalled by D&D Distributing-Wholesale Due To Choking Hazard

“the gorilla with the knife was a little bit angry”

They start a monkey knife fight, Canada brings a gorilla.

update: Not a bad gorilla, just misunderstood, zoo official reassures.

more update: Busybodies on the alert!

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Laceration Hazard Prompts Recall by Starbucks of Coffee Grinders; Made by Tsann Kuen

“highly prized banana slices”

Clever monkeys cheat for food, moonlighting anthropologist observes.

“yet to decide the decibel range”

India's Mysore Zoo to administer music therapy to chimpanzees.

“including four women having become victims of monkey bite”

India's South Malaka the latest site of monkey menace.

“she has lived there her whole life”

It's not bad enough she's in a cage and won't be getting out. It's not bad enough she's in Wisconsin and won't be leaving. Julie's the oldest Patas monkey in captivity and isn't getting any younger. On the other hand, it's her birthday celebration.

“he attacked four zoo patrons”

Texans, prepare to be messed with!

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LaJobi Recalls Babi Italia Pinehurst and Bonavita Hudson Drop Side Cribs; Risk of Entrapment and Suffocation

“who say this is no way to treat wild animals”

"Environmentalists" Friends of the Earth outraged by Malaysian orangutan hospital.

“Okay, Kenny. Do you know if anybody’s injured?”

First 911-caller in the Louisville Zoo Gorilla Forest train derailment speaks.

I'm betting there'll be refreshments

Rwanda sets the date for Kwita Izina, the annual gala gorilla-naming ceremony.

“hospitalized with a serious injury”

Worker at New Hampshire's animal refuge Charming-Fare Farm bitten by 35-pound Macaque.

“Zoos, sanctuaries and similar facilities would be exempt.”

Connecticut legislators can't be bothered to pass a budget but do pass a grandstanding bill outlawing primate ownership, already illegal.

Reindeer are OK, though.

“near the zoo's Gorilla Forest exhibit”

Louisville KY Zoo visitors injured when Zoo Train derails.

Update: Louisville Zoo train wrecked despite daily checks

“about the size of a human fist”

The shrinking population of the tarsier monkey, one of the smallest monkeys.

“We never thought it would be like this”

Northern California Bigfoot believers and contactees are interviewed.

“the prototypes for future hyper-intelligent rodents”

Marriage rights demanded for transgenic mice.

“There was a lot of blood”

"Chunk of flesh ripped" from the arm of a 6-year-old British schoolboy in Barbary ape attack.

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Home Depot Recalls Patio Umbrellas Due to Risk of Impact Injury

Oh! The Humanity!!

New-age zeppelin flies over San Francisco, sets off hubbub at San Francisco Zoo.

“green-glowing babies”

Japanese researchers ready to make designer babies fun!

Update: Now with photo, but they don't look very green to me.

Palaeopropithecus kelyus

Large yet extinct lemur discovered in northwest Madagascar.

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Trampolines Recalled by Skywalker Holdings; Enclosure Problems Can Result in Fall Hazard

“We are very lucky not to have lost both of them”

Orangutan stillbirth at Jersey's Durrell.

“Man in ape suit sought for trying to steal bananas”

Fond du Lac WI police search for a man wearing an ape costume who has attempted to steal foam banana displays from inside local gas stations. (h/t James Dionne)

I'm guessing hunger is involved

Human and Primate Feeding Behaviors Have Common Roots

“like a diminutive monkey”

Well-preserved skeleton of 47-million-year-old primate common ancestor unveiled to plaudits. But there's just no pleasing some people.

“the backdrop of six fatal monkey bite cases”

Indian outrage over government inability to curb monkey menace grows.

Goodbye Nathan

8-year-old bonobo Nathan of Iowa's Great Ape Trust dies after being diagnosed with advanced lymphoma

“your chance to make the baby chimp your namesake”

Dallas Zoo asking for help naming their newest chimpanzee.

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Digital Clamp Meters Recalled by Fluke Due to Shock Hazard

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Folding Toy Beach Chairs Recalled by Build-A-Bear Workshop Due to Laceration Hazard

HP Recalls Notebook Computer Batteries Due to Fire Hazard

“pet cemeteries are unregulated in Florida”

Former owner of FL's Columbia Pet Memorial Gardens sued.

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Eddie Bauer Play Yards with Rocking Bassinets Recalled by Dorel Juvenile Group Due to Suffocation Hazard

“and was significantly overweight”

Necropsy results in: Travis the (attempted) killer chimpanzee was on Xanax!

“special birthday cake as a treat”

Ape and cake at UK's Bristol Zoo Garden.

“paramedics weren't able to identify the body”

Consternation in Brunei over the finding of a box with a dead monkey in it.

coming soon to your favorite tracker!

CD released of whistling by Heidelberg Zoo's Ujian the orangutan.

“using a branch to scale an electric fence”

Australia's Adelaide Zoo locked down following escape attempt by "extremely intelligent" orangutan Karta.

“could see me as a sex object”

Bad touch from Russian chimpanzee breaks keeper's arm.

“the hobbit was not like us”

Homo floresiensis, the 'hobbit' of Indonesia, had feet without arches, says scientist .

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Children’s Jewelry Craft Kits Recalled by Action Products International Due to Risk of Lead Exposure

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Wagner Spray Tech Recalls Paint Sprayers Due to Electrical Shock Hazard

“a hearing scheduled for Wednesday”

Asset freeze bruited about in Connecticut chimpanzee attack legal doings.

“breeding the primates for release back into the wild”

Lemur count at OK's Walkabout Wildlife Sanctuary on the increase.

“we were warned”

Bollywood actress visiting South Africa suffers hotel room ransacking by baboons.

Ill-advised, I think

Four orangutans, separated from their mothers at the Taman Safari Indonesia II Zoo in Pasuruan, East Java to speed up the growth of the orangutan population, await foster parents.

"This is a rallying cry for a path forward"

AZA again denies accreditation to The Texas Zoo.

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Pumpkin Patch Recalls Hooded Girls’ Raincoats with Drawstrings Due to Strangulation Hazard

“60 days in jail”

Jail for monkey-smugglers in WA.

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Under Armour Recalls Athletic Cups Due To Injury Hazard

Dinosaur Play Sets Recalled by DND Imports Due to Violation of Lead Paint Standard

“protection of the rainforests must run alongside”

Noted film-maker Sir David Attenborough demands UN mandate a second apostrophe be added to "orang-utan".

“overheated and dehydrated”

Lowland eastern gorilla recovering after rescue from suspected animal traffickers in the Democratic Republic of Congo

“Mayor Bloomberg's budget cuts”

Lemurs among the out-sourced in Bronx Zoo shakeup!

Copenhagen: dateline 1874

Gentleman's apartment suffers from monkey's attentions.

“Great Ape Debate”

Orangutans prompt a gangfight among the conservationists.

“a lot of excitement”

Dallas Zoo announces the birth of a chimpanzee, sex not yet determined.

“electrical malfunction”

50-year-old macaque monkey and 37 other animals die in fire at Zoo to You wildlife rescue facility in Paso Robles, CA.

“Nobody was injured”

Bonobo makes a run for it at Netherlands Apenheul zoo. Zoo promises a review of the moat, which proved ineffective.

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Toaster Oven/Broilers Recalled by Haier America Due to Burn or Electrical Shock Hazard

“Sandy is a companion monkey”

Toothless bitey monkey found in Salerm OR, quarantined.

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Specialized Bicycle Components Recalls Bicycles Due to Serious Fall Hazard

“5. A Monkey”

The Ten Worst Mother's Day Gifts You Could Buy Your Mom

“He's back and he loves us”

After more than six weeks, Fruitland Park FL's Reggie the spider monkey no longer missing.

Update: A monkey will tear your damn face off.

Quick! Order Purina Fossa Chow!

In the wild, the diet of Madagascar's Fossa consists primarily of lemurs. What they'll eat, primarily, at Utah's Hogle Zoo isn't discussed. (also see)

“typical of a Yowie”

Australian big-foot on the rampage near Darwin.

“the animal likely was scared”

Salem OR police seek bitey monkey.

"Simian terror keeps kids away from school"

School canceled today on account of monkey menace.

Ongoing

My eye is healing, but my vision hasn't improved appreciably. More when it does so.

More meta

Retina guy suggests watchful waiting for another week, so it'll still be a while until posts resume. (*)

Meta meta meta

I'm going to take a few days off. I've had a retinal aneurysm, not dangerous but it's difficult to see well enough to read. I've seen an opthamologist and will see a retina guy on Thursday, so I hope to know more after then.

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Pure Fishing Recalls Children’s Fishing Games Due to Violation of Ban on Lead in Paint

“Hasani”

In gimmicky trick, San Francisco Zoo has gorilla daddy choose his new babys name.

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Infantino Recalls Infant Toys Due to Choking Hazard

Hair Dryers Recalled By Big Lots Stores Due to Electrocution Hazard

Ice Skates Recalled by Pronto Sports Due to Violation of Lead Paint Standard