He made me do it, it was all his idea!

Minneapolis men accused of stealing the head of a well-known mechanical gorilla opt for separate trials.

“faced with irritated onlookers”

Baby macaque tantrums embarrass their mothers in front of other macaques, scientists say.

“I had him tested”

He's not a bad ape, your honor. He's just misunderstood.

Damn clever, these chimps!

Chimpanzee at Sweden's Furuvik Zoo pelts zoo visitors with its cache of rocks. (h/t Protein Wisdom)

“made a lot of money helping people”

‘Healer’ monkey dies mysteriously in South Africa.

"a history of improper care and control of both exotic and domestic animals"

Connecticut man cited for keeping an endangered siamang.

I didn't get a harumph outta that guy

Connecticut proposes adding another law against dangerous pets. Enforcing the one we already have would do more good, I would have thought.

“on exhibit Saturday”

Six-month-old lowland gorilla Frank to join San Diego Zoo troupe.

“the feline was just what she needed”

Tonda the orangutan, at ZooWorld in Panama City, FL, celebrates her 50th birthday, with her kitty.

Stay alive, don't buy Chinese!

Off-Road Bike Engine Parts Recalled by Wiseco Due to Crash Hazard

“It’s always difficult to loose an animal”

Red Ruffed lemur at Idaho Falls zoo euthanized because of renal failure due to kidney cancer.

Stay alive, don't buy Chinese!

(Timing is everything)

All-Clad Recalls 4-Square Belgian Waffle Makers Due to Shock Hazard; Sold Exclusively at Williams-Sonoma

Holiday Lights Recalled by Universal Distribution Center Due to Shock and Fire Hazard

Stay alive, don't buy Chinese!

(or either read the instructions)

Nautilus Recalls Bowflex® Home Gyms Due to Risk of Injury

“no ordinary monkey”

Temple destruction in Hoskote India postponed by insistent monkey.

“with a mechanised beating heart”

UK's Port Lympne Wild Animal Park provides a cuddly toy surrogate mother for a Caesarean-born DeBrazza's Monkey rejected by its mother.

Goodbye, Muchana

8-year-old gorilla found dead at St. Louis Zoo, apparently accidentally strangled on a piece of climbing rope.

Goodbye, Kambula

32-year-old gorilla suffering abdominal abscesses, heart disease, and declining health is euthanized at Fort Worth Zoo in Texas.

It'll also monitor volcanos

Mesa, AZ police want 100k of federal tax money to pay for a helper monkey which'll be like a police robot, but smarter.

“We will give them all the monkeys they want”

Patas monkeys from Puerto Rico find a new home at Baghdad Zoo.

"one in 38 million''

Dung-flinging MSM attempts to blame CT chimp attack on Republicans.

“All Pets Crematory in Stamford”

Violent chimp Travis cremated.

Stay alive, don't buy Chinese!

Various Toys Recalled by CBB Group Due to Choking Hazard and Violation of Lead Paint Standard

“legislation to ban the transport of monkeys and apes”

I'll call it the monkey/mann act.

“Chilean varietals and a Spanish Cava”

Orangutan-themed wine, with a percent for Orangutan Outreach.

The three-legged box turtle has a permit though, so we're safe there

Officials who cash paychecks to keep Connecticut safe still unable to certify state free of unlicensed menacing primates!

“One day he was going to explode”

From Frans de Waal to Priscilla Feral, celebrities who like to talk about animals say their piece about the Stamford chimpanzee mauling.

“I had mine peeled to one side”

Chimpanzee-attack survivor St. James Davis speaks after the similar Connecticut attack.

“he doesn't expect to get the hat back”

Steel cowboy hat stolen from concrete gorilla in Rock Springs Wyoming.

Stay alive, don't buy Chinese!

Old Navy Recalls Stuffed Toys; Button Eyes Can Detach and Pose a Choking Hazard to Young Children

“and shot him with a tranquilizer dart”

Emboldened by Connecticut mayhem, a rare De Brazza's monkey makes a misguided escape attempt from WA's Woodland Park Zoo.

“No one has applied to own a chimpanzee”

Exotic animals bans: what animals you can and cannot have as pets in Connecticut.

“but nothing was ever done”

Surprise! Travis the out-of-control chimp had attacked before.

Stay alive, don't buy Chinese!

True Value Recalls Wheelbarrows; Over-Inflated Tire Can Cause Wheel to Break and Pose Injury Hazard

“He was a very friendly monkey”

India discovers schadenfreude.

Outrage!

Continuing: Victim's injuries remind me of those of St. James Davis. I'm not the first to notice.

“her pet had been agitated so she gave it tea and a sedative”

Chimp amok story continues to dominate Connecticut news, watercooler conversation.

Update: News travels.

further update: Grandfathered from days before ape ban passed, says NBC.

Update again: Xanax or not Xanax.

“the ape badly mauled a friend of its owner”

Connecticut quivers as "tame" chimpanzee goes berserk. I bet Chris Dodd is to blame, somehow.

It's a girl!

Washington DC's National Zoo announces that the gorilla born there last month is a girl.

“Happily, this may not be as sordid as it sounds”

Pubic lice (Pthirus pubis) evolved from gorilla lice (Pthirus gorillae)!

Stay alive, don't buy Chinese!

Disney Store Recalls Toy Tool Sets Due to Choking Hazard

Happy Birthday, dear Charles!

February 12 is Charles Darwin's birthday. As mentioned last year, today you're entitled to punch Ben Stein, if you can catch him.

Stay alive, don't buy Chinese!

Maybe we could sell them some peanut butter!

Golfer’s Billiard Games Recalled by Dick's Sporting Goods and Golf Galaxy Due to Violation of Lead Paint Standard

Camp Stoves Sold Exclusively at Dick’s Sporting Goods Recalled Due to Burn Hazard

Catalina Lighting Recalls Halogen Clamp Lamps Due to Fire and Burn Hazard; Sold Exclusively At Staples Stores

“a repertoire of 102 different signals”

Gorilla language innate, experts say.

With her cat, Tondaleyo's Kitty

Tondaleyo, Orangutan at Panama City Beach FL's ZooWorld, celebrates her 50th birthday.

“the gorillas might try to walk on the ice”

UK's Bristol Zoo falls prey to the frigid curse of Al Gore.

Stay alive, don't buy Chinese!

One more!

Intermatic Recalls Digital Timers Due to Shock Hazard.

Truth to power, man

I endorse this act of vandalism.

Stay alive, don't buy Chinese!

JAKKS Pacific® Recalls Spa Factory™ Aromatherapy Kits Due to Explosion and Projectile Hazards

DDI Inc. Recalls Toy Construction Play Sets Due to Violation of Lead Paint Standard

Children’s Hooded Sweatshirts Recalled by Jerry Leigh of California Due to Strangulation Hazard

Dorel Juvenile Group Recalls Safety 1st Stair Gates Due to Fall Hazard

(I'm still thinking about the exploding aromatherapy kit!)

“monkeys are his favourite”

Make-A-Wish Foundation provides day of monkey fun for UK boy.

“the gorilla naming ceremony”

It's never too early to make your plans for Kwita Izina.

“Zoorotica”

MI's Binder Park Zoo plays host to people who like to watch.

Update: I got dibs on the eye-bleach concession!

“not a particularly popular tourist destination”

Thailand's Lopburi, where monkeys take charge.

“obviously not your typical 2-year-old”

Tumani, gorilla at CO's Cheyenne Mountain Zoo, enjoys her second birthday.

“when the monkeys started screeching, the rats joined in”

New Zealand's Brooklands zoo turning their out-of-control rat infestation into a tourist attraction.

Stay alive, don't buy SS-themed Chinese!

I guess with the skull-and-crossbones motif, buyers were asking for trouble:

Skull-And-Crossbones Necklaces Recalled By Spencer Gifts Due to Risk of Lead Exposure

“a brazen, daylight apenapping”

6-foot-tall mechanical gorilla swiped from Tampa FL's State Vacuum. Be on the lookout for a gorilla in an Arizona Cardinals jersey.

Update: Recovered.

Sabotage!

What's the tie between foreign terrorists and the domestic maker of tainted peanut products that has sickened hundreds?

He's too much!

Frost miser paralyzes East Coast.

Stay alive, don't buy Chinese!

Dangerous things come in threes lately:

Milestone AV Technologies Recalls Television Wall Mounts Sold Exclusively At Best Buy; Unit Can Crack, TV Can Fall On Consumers

High School Musical Manicure Kits Recalled by Fantas-Eyes Due to Risk of Lead Exposure

Lip Gloss Keychains Recalled By Markwins Beauty Products Due to Risk of Lead Exposure

Thanks a lot, Joe!

Both Connecticut Senators among the throng who voted to confirm our serial tax-cheat Secretary of the Treasury. Dodd I expect no better of, but I voted for Lieberman. Not again.

“asking him to use CG animals”

PETA spokeswoman Anjelica Huston insists the upcoming Tarzan be chimp-free.

Goodbye, Charley

28-year-old male chimpanzee at Maryland Zoo died suddenly this weekend. An echocardiogram last year "did not reveal any significant findings."

“duck if you’re a monkey”

The Philippine eagle (nee monkey-eating eagle) is featured.

“almost at the same moment as the inauguration”

Orangutan born at Indonesia's Ragunan Zoo. They've named her Obamy, out of respect.

“working with other zoos”

Colobus monkey at Toledo Zoo dies, orphaning baby Asante.

“and is doing fine”

Coquerel's sifaka born at Houston Zoo.

Get used to it!

<rush>What the Obama inauguration commitee learned from their Peking paymasters</rush>

“You can't just go to Monkeys-R-Us or EBay to get monkeys”

Reduced primate count threatens Santa Ana Zoo land grant.

Beating runner-up vampire bat

Pygmy loris voted "Animal-in-Chief" at Philadelphia Zoo.

“the lemur is the smallest of the world's primates”

French Propithecus coronatus lemur, being fostered by Zoo staff, has a teddy bear to snuggle.

“sat amongst other bemused passengers”

English bonobo, rejected by his mother, jets to Germany.

Stop me before I kill again, arghh!

Caroline Kennedy drops Senate bid reportedly to care for Uncle Teddy, suffering from side effects of champagne adulteration in his whisky flute.

“but a baby she was holding had a miraculous escape”

Indian woman dies attempting to escape marauding monkeys.

“no tumours were found”

Liesel, 32-year-old gorilla at Budapest Zoo, recovers after exploratory surgery on an ovary.

“firing in the air to scare off monkeys”

Poor marksmanship alleged in India

“The two often go unnoticed”

An anxious woman and her marmoset.

“It climbed to the top of the wire and peed on everybody”

Doc Simmons, director of Omaha's Henry Doorly Zoo, set to retire this year.

“a great veterinary program”

Mongoose lemur at MI's Potter Park Zoo gets diagnostic CT scan.

Genesis 2 in plastic vials

If your mad scientist dreams include exterminating the world's animals, the Frozen Zoo at San Diego Wild Animal Park has already foiled your evil plans.

Stay alive, don't buy Chinese!

Children’s Sunglasses Recalled by Axiom Due to Violation of Lead Paint Standard

Fisher-Price Recalls Simplicity’s Rainforest™ Portable Play Yards Due to Fall and Entrapment Hazards

Infantino Expands Recall of Infant Rattles Due to Choking Hazard

“stepped up efforts”

Bids sought for insurance for staff and animals at Uganda's Ngamba Island Chimpanzee Sanctuary.

Stay alive, don't buy Chinese!

Toy Xylophones Recalled by The Land of Nod Due to Choking Hazard

I don't like the sound of this:

A monkey is haunting Clearwater FL.

Update: "the species is known to throw feces when mad".

Stay alive, don't buy Chinese!

Something for everyone!

Ryobi Corded Circular Saws Sold Exclusively at Home Depot Recalled By One World Technologies Inc. Due to Laceration Hazard

Top Goods Trading Recalls Flashing Pacifiers Due to Choking and Strangulation Hazard

Risk of Strangulation Prompts Recall of Window Blinds Sold at Cost Plus and World Market Stores

TDI International Recalls Toy Cars Due to Violation of Lead Paint Standard

Cheyenne Industries Recalls Vanity Stools Due to Fall Hazard

Bet I'm not getting a pony after all!

I'm an embarrassment to Barack!


I only scored 14 on the Obama Test

Stay alive, don't buy Chinese!

Rashti & Rashti Expands Recall of Infant Garments Due to Choking Hazard

“behind a large plate-glass window”

Ape house at Washington DC's National Zoo grows another gorilla as visitors watch.

Update: Milwaukee zoo wants you to know the mom grew up there.

“twigging”

The un-named infant gorilla at San Francisco Zoo, abandoned by his mother, is bonding well with foster mother Bawang.

“belt-tightening”

Chicago's Field Museum won't be hosting a display of Lucy, a 3.2 million-year-old fossil, after all.

‘introduction had gone "incredibly well"&rsquo

New Zealand's Hamilton Zoo provides zoo staff something to see (but not, one hopes, to emulate).

“Living up to 50 is pretty phenomenal”

Timmy, western lowland gorilla at KY's Louisville Zoo, will be celebrating his 50th birthday Jan. 17.

Slavish trend-follower me!

More medical things to worry about, vitamin D deficiency and hypoparathyroidism. Vitamin D deficiency is as trendy as it gets, but I'm guessing it's not much related to the achilles tendonitis.

“my credentials are not in order”

Harry Reid to US Constitution: Drop Dead! (h/t Althouse)

Stay alive, don't buy Chinese!

Viking Range Corp. Recalls Toasters Due to Shock Hazard

Children’s Hooded Jackets with Drawstrings Recalled by Ms. Bubbles Inc. Due to Strangulation Hazard

and

Jardine Expands Recall of Cribs Sold by Babies“R”Us; Cribs Pose Entrapment and Strangulation Hazards

“Cell phones contain a metallic ore called coltan”

It sounds promising, but turns out pedestrian and ecoweenie: Cell phones for gorillas. (<Snide> I bet they contain a refined metal more than an ore</Snide>)

“Monkeys are worshipped by Hindu faithfuls”

Monkey-ridden Malta worries about India's monkey menace.

“waving at onlookers”

Surya, orangutan at FL's The Institute of Greatly Endangered and Rare Species, rides a jet-ski as an enrichment activity, it says here. (h/t)

“due to her mother Lola’s advanced age”

Chimpanzee born at Spain's Fuengirola zoo.

“fruits, rice in ice-cream cones and nuts”

Birthday celebrated for 19-year-old orangutan Kamil at Australia's Melbourne Zoo.

“the babies are never left alone”

Ohio's Columbus Zoo and Aquarium: a national center of gorilla hand-rearing expertise.