“a chimp in a movie is still a sad sight”

PETA behind claims of abuse of and by chimp Chim-Chim in Wachowski Bros. Speed Racer.

“absolutely no speculation whatsoever”

Show of hands: who didn't know the Chinese government were horrible thugs, and how long till the left forgives and forgets? (h/t Instapundit)

Update: A particularly clear-headed look.

“the genus of guenons”

Hand-rearing planned for new Diana monkey at UK's Port Lympne Wild Animal Park after mother confused by caesarean section.

Dibs on "Bruce"

Monkey-naming contest at Australia's Halls Gap Wildlife Park and Zoo.

“fried bee-larva, raw grasshopper, lizards and of course cat, dog, monkey”

Crossing India, with time out for din-dins.

“you damn dirty ape”

RIP Charlton Heston.

“and those in their 20s and 30s”

Epidemic of heart disease among zoo gorillas.

I've never had Absolut

So, big deal, I never will.

“After Traffic Chaos”

Florida monkey captured, ending daring spree.

“healthy and active”

Orangutan escape foiled in Ireland.

“the boundaries between humans and chimps are really quite fuzzy”

Via Jungle Trader, NPR reports Chimps with Spears “Captivate” Photographer. (Photographer survives captivation)

“a £1800 ($3600) grant”

Cornish monkeys to get grant for solar water heater. Unstated is the cost beyond the grant.

“11 others living in U.S. zoos”

California's Santa Ana Zoo announces the first US birth in captivity of a crested capuchin.

“still had redness around their eyes”

Clovis New Mexico police investigate case of zoo visitors feeding hot chiles to lemurs and spider monkeys.

“chainsaw artists”

Replacement made for stolen bigfoot statue.

Build the fence!

Undocumented marmosets spotted in Denver.

“the monkeys were rare species of primates”

Possible attempt to hijack banana boat foiled in Russia.

“a shiver up my spine”

Unpronounceable mystery ape said to be photographed in Wales. Evidence lacking in online version.

“offering an unspecified reward”

Wife of St. James Davis, chimpanzee-attack survivor, suffers purse-snatching.

Cercopithecus ascanius

Houston Zoo hosts a new baby Schmidt's red tailed guenon. A picture is included.

“both a tiger and a lemur contained in the same body”

Canada's Edmonton Journal says China doesn't deserve the Olympics. MonkeyWatch agrees.

“funded by the National Eye Institute”

University of Washington may be dunned for unapproved surgical procedures done on monkeys.

“a patas monkey and a ring-tailed lemur”

Two primate births at Phoenix Arizona's Wildlife World Zoo.

“writing his autobiography”

The oldest known living chimpanzee, Tarzan's Cheeta, turns 76 years old.

Update: More from UPI on the autobiography.

“an empty moat around their home”

Disaster narrowly averted at San Francisco's Chaffee Zoo.

“the staff of five that tends to the senior primates”

Much like the rest of us, the gorillas at Louisville Zoo’s Gorilla Forest grow older.

Update: Philadelphia Zoo says "Me too".

“How many Texas towns have monkey massacres?”

Murals of the Johnson Creek Monkey Massacre and other moments of Arlington, TX, history called for.

“untarnished”

Former Chimp Haven employee drops lawsuit.

So boycott 'em

If they're not murdering Tibetans, they're tainting your children's toys with lead.

“the wild world of animal control”

The Kitsap, WA.,dog-catcher remembers the day he got “a report of a monkey loose on Bainbridge Island.”

Daily New York scandal

New York's breath-of-bresh-air Governor a dope fiend! (h/t Scared Monkeys)

“highly trained monkeys”

Google-owned YouTube found to have new motto: Be evil, but blame monkeys.

“authentic experiences”

Swimming with sharks, gorilla trekking among guerillas, shopping the souk in terrorist country: adventure holidays for the unconcerned.

“kicked out of and beaten up by a colony elsewhere”

Zoo of Acadiana in Louisiana includes lemurs among its new births.

That makes all the difference, I guess

At least when the current Governor of New York pays for his girlfriends with public funds she's an amateur, not as with the previous Governor.

“including Australopithecus”

You gotta crawl before you can walk, 6 million years ago.

“as was George Bush”

An Obamamessiah-worshipper considers Hillary as a monkey trapped in a monkey-trap.

Daily New York scandal

I'm shocked! New York's new Governor spent campaign funds on Miss Sleepover? Where'd he learn a trick like that?

“executions”

Arrest made in Congo over 2007 gorilla killings at Virunga.

“concerned over his interaction with state officials”

Connecticut mocked by surrounding states for former Governor Rowland's asexual scandal.

“clothed in nappies”

Keeping tidy while fostering an abandoned gorilla.

“speciesist”

Animal rights arson. Fun & games for the anarchist set.

Lie down with democrats...

Who expected anything else?

Update: Oh yeah, didn't see that coming.

“frivolous subhumans”

A “group of leading scientists&rdquo seeks to ban chimpanzees from New Zealand TV advertising.

“David Paterson was sworn in today”

Out with the bad air, in with the good.

New York held hostage, day 8

Could a career in assertiveness training lie ahead?

New York held hostage, day 7

Just a week of Republican schadenfreude!

New York held hostage, day 6

This is only the beginning...

It's that time again

Eat a Tasty Animal for PETA (IEATAPETA) Day: the happiest day of the year!

New York held hostage, day 5

Hunt on for naked pics of Dupre.

New York held hostage, day 4

Limousine liberal Muttawah vows vengeance, impotently.

“Counselors have been sent”

Escaped chimpanzee shot dead in Texas.

“devoid of toads, salamanders, or newts”

“When the public thinks of Madagascar's fauna most likely they think of one of the fifty species of lemur.” If Dr. Franco Andreone has his way, soon they'll have frogs on their minds.

Not 'Til He's Good & Ready!

NY's long nightmare continues, Super-Delegate Spitzer to continue bareback ride until Monday.

“one foolproof way”

Washington's bitey monkey's rabies test: negative.

New York held hostage, day 3

Spitzer-palooza continues.

“modern pygmies”

'Hobbit' battle continues to rage.

New York held hostage, day 2

Arbiter of all morality still retains office.

Update: Looking to secure his legacy, plus owed one on the fleet plan.

“may have to be put down”

Bitey monkey in Washington may have Herpes B.

Update: Bad news for the monkey.

More: Not without a fight.

For the Love of God, Montressor!

Walls raised higher at San Francisco Zoo's Gorilla World.

“We are thrilled and relieved”

AZA OK's NC's Natural Science Center.

a Malagasy name for "prize"

Philadelphia Zoo's baby sifaka gets a name.

iPhone

Ballmer reprises monkey boy.

“She's kinda like a 75- [or] 80-year-old woman”

HIPAA doesn't apply to gorillas, so here's more than we want to know about Tino's ovarian cancer surgery.

Allegedly...

Monkeys in Florida Get High on Millipede Hallucinogen.

“popular with children”

Brain-damaged capuchin monkey wants special attention in New Zealand.

Update: Protests ensue!

Miniature Monkey News Roundup

Tiny fossil monkey found in Mississippi, tiny live monkey born in Britain.

“a wee monkeylike adult creature”

A New York Times reader of 55.8 million years ago.

“I’m not really sure how they handle a monkey bite”

Arizona boy savaged by pet lemur.

“Stoned Apes”

Those wacky hippies and the things they believe.

“recuperated miraculously”

South African William Tell wanna-be angers neighbors.

“grabbed my hand and bit down on it like a sandwich”

Victimized by Bubbles, Michael Jackson's pet chimpanzee.

MonkeyWatch says:

Burning food for fuel is like eating seed corn: an intellectual and moral failure.

“Curtis and his little brother, Charlie”

Denver Zoo increases their gorilla-count.

“choked to death on fairy cakes”

Why not cake and death?

“name on the ballot in Florida”

Michelle Obama bites head off Ralph Nader.

“smallest of the tiger subspecies”

No monkeys injured in Honolulu Zoo tiger escape.

Propithecus verreauxi coronatus

Kibongo, a recently-born crowned sifaka at Paris zoo is pictured.

“Button was another suggested name”

Central Florida Zoo flooded with names for baby Lesser-spot nosed guenon.

“the largest collection of penis bones in Northern California”

Whenever something dead washes ashore in San Mateo county, Ray Bandar is there and, voila, art happens!

“leveraging our products”

Google has a deep memory hole, it seems.

Via Moonbattery.

“each weekend the little monkey goes home with a different child”

It's only a hand-puppet, not a real monkey, and let's see it stays that way.

“I’d cancel my account today”

Boycott TMobile.

“thousands of miles of wall”

Non-existant wall across southern border said harmful to jaguars.

“extraordinary behaviour”

Scientists surprised by sex secrets of the gorillas.

“beta blockers or ACE inhibitors”

Two gorillas at Cleveland Metroparks Zoo, suffer from heart disease and benefit from the efforts of big pharma.

“its first public appearance today”

London Zoo celebrates their first birth of a red titi monkey.

Smirking costs extra

The Green Monkey, Britain's $16-million win-shy thoroughbred, to be marketed to gawkers, price per peek not stated.

“pimped out in some weird sort of way”

NBC tells hires Chris Crocker to tell David Shuster to leave Chelsea alone!

“Eight monkeys were shaken up”

Another senseless highway monkey accident, this time in Maryland.

Goodbye, Ah Meng

48-year-old orangutan Ah Meng dead at Singapore Zoo. “The world's most famous orangutan”, it says.

“because of snow havoc”

Your China trip to see bigfoot is cancelled.

“regrettable situation”

Errant monkey at Scotland's Edinburgh Zoo shot dead while attempting to escape rabies quarantine.

“BPA”

I don't know why there's so much sullen whimpering about nanny government.

“conservation of orangutans”

Malaysia's Sepilok Orang Utan Conservation Centre hopes to soon provide live streaming views of orangutan feeding time.

Science!

How the flying lemur flies, (It doesn't fly and it isn't a lemur. Go figure.)

“the Gorilla Prize”

Recyclable trash thefts loom as colleges compete nationwide in accumulation of reeking piles of recyclable trash. Market for most recyclables still lacking, sadly.

Goodbye, Tunuka

45-year-old Western lowland gorilla at KY's Louisville Zoo, dead of peritonitis. Not to minimize the gorilla's death, but "peritonitis" makes for the perfect Cary Grant impression.

“Botak, the Indonesian word for bald”

Melbourne Zoo's little orangutan gets a name.

“such as tuberculosis, malaria, hepatitis and AIDS”

Those monkeys you ordered from Malaysia won't be coming. They're defective, apparently.