Goodbye, Washoe

Washoe. famous signing chimpanzee, dead of natural causes at 42 years of age at Central Washington University.

Influenza implicated.

Update: Cruel, but fair.

Wazoo

The first time I saw Frank Zappa perform was 9/23/1972 at the Felt Forum in NYC. Soon. the next day, recorded at the Music Hall in Boston, will be released.

Update 10/06: In my hands today!

“a family history of feces flinging”

An inflatable gorilla's experience to the ER is documented at Emergiblog.

“baboon crime”

Baboons enforce their demands for rights, reparations at the People's Cube. (H/T to Sissy Willis)

“killers are being kept like monkeys and live a good life”

The benefits of experienced civilization, and executing murderers, are considered.

“you eventually fall apart and die from a lack of collagen”

Like our ancient enemy the monkey, we need vitamins our bodies can't synthesize.

Goodbye, Mamu

Mamu, 37-year-old ring-tailed lemur, dead of undetermined causes at Colorado's Pueblo Zoo.

“Initially the parents were worried for their son's safety”

Disaster is foreshadowed: monkey babysitter.

“Machiavellian intelligence”

Germans: Monkeys are sneaky plotting bastards. People, too.

“MYSTERIOUS”

Instapundit links to this story of the search for the skunk ape.

“just a few thousand dollars”

Conservationists warn of imminent peril for primates. Regrettably, conservationists say their funds are all spent, so saving the primates is on you. Rotten luck.

“and roasted them on the spit”

Looking back to a simpler time, in Spain, when running over monkeys was commonplace.

“oddly unafraid”

Adventure holiday in Rwanda, with gorillas.

“most professional monkey catchers are illiterate”

More of the same medicine prescribed as New Delhi monkey menace continues.

Yapping from the left

Chomsky or chimpsky?

“a week early than expected”

Chimpanzee born at New Zealand's Wellington Zoo

“big, big trouble”

Left in the cold by Nobel Peace Prize lobbying, is this the year Jane Goodall releases her chimpanzee armies to kill us all?

“They're at the bottom”

As much as you wanted to know, at least, about lemurs, in Moreau, NY.

“plague of monkeys”

Deputy mayor of Delhi dies after monkey attack in rooftop misadventure.

More.

“Sumatran Orang-utan Conservation Program”

Temara, orangutan from Australia's Perth Zoo, deported to Sumatran jungle.

“an ad he placed seeking spanking partners”

Life for killer of Man in the Yellow Hat.

Amazing discovery

Google says Monkeywatch favorite Silfray Hraka is the top hit for paralytic drunk kennedy.

Or from singer poor to Sinatra

From Singapore to Sumatra, they're writing sternly-worded memos on saving orangutans.

“Gorilla Inc”

Chinese-built ladder stands recalled. Look out below!

“fans making monkey noises”

Cricket, motor racing suffer racism charges.

“a nursery nurse”

Monkeys puzzled by theft of tree from front garden in UK.

I do not think that word means what you think it means

BBC: Orphan lemur taken back by mother.

“a missing molar”

Toothmarks crucial to case against man in Maltese monkey-theft.

“it takes a lot of confidence”

Secrets of a man in a gorilla suit revealed.

“6,000 parts per million”

Man in the Yellow Hat suffers lead poisoning, Environmental health officials baffled.

“A means of connection”

Recipient of MonkeyWatch awe, N.Z. Bear of the indispensable Truth Laid Bear, has opened commercial media tool Kithbridge.

“Accidents will happen”

Scientists or big media, who's more likely to protect us from dangerous microbe mishandling?

Headlines in the News

I originally misread this as Useless Space Monkey Invented. Admittedly, misreading is commoner, yet less amusing, since my stroke.

"No throwing grapes"

Grape stompers at Reno, NV's, Great Italian Festival entertained by Hobo the Monkey.

Still awaiting the withering away of the state, I think

Max Planck Institute of Evolutionary Anthropology in Leipzig, Germany applies some dodgy economic theory to chimpanzee behavior.

“Thirteen animals have been stolen”

Maltese cross as Animal Park at Razzett tal-Hbiberija is burgled.

“the Freedom of Information Act”

The contagion-filled sky is falling! It's George Bush's fault, apparently.

“$15,000”

Killing a monkey is expensive.

Monkey meridians

North Carolina Zoo rejects scientific medicine for inmates.

“It's just standard procedure”

Chimpanzee-on-the-run gunned down at UK's Whipsnade Zoo.

“It wasn't really like an escape”

"You'll never build a cage that'll hold me!" snarled the un-named spider monkey, but within 20 minutes keepers at the Dallas Zoo had proven her wrong.

“a woman and her pet monkey”

Rash of Missouri monkey-bitings now at two.

“I was never given a clue”

Soi-disant Bright Richard Dawkins auto-mocked in coming intelligent design propaganda movie Expelled, No Intelligence Allowed.

“Appomattox County Sheriff's Office is investigating”

Monkey-search underway in Appomattox County Virginia.

“or persons with interests?”

Austrian court declines to declare a chimpanzee a person.

Made my morning complete

“still has nightmares”

Girl injured in 2003 Franklin Park Zoo gorilla attack testifies “too scared to run”.

Update: $175K sleep aid.

“high levels of lead”

I don't think Mattel is taking the blame for this.

“Please Read and Re-Post”

The American street is called to action.

Shame, shame!

Senate votes against Moveon Petraeus slander. Roll-call here (Dodd pro-slander).

“psychological damage”

No testimony from Little Joe the gorilla in Boston Franklin Park Zoo trial.

The rest of us are still laughing!

Whiny child has friends.

“We have an aging population of gorillas”

Surgery for fibroid tumors for gorilla at Chicago's Brookfield Zoo.

“a fistful of nuts”

Thanks to Sissy Willis for mailing this story about Democrats stuck in the monkey trap.

And They Watched Her!

Princess Anne amuses herself with a day of gibbon-watching.

“caused operations to be stalled for a few hours”

Monkey tosses spanner in the works at New Delhi's airport.

“Crab-eating Macaques”

Diving monkeys aren't photographed at California's Folsom City Zoo.

“positive attention from the females”

These three chimps walk into a fruit bar.

Sucks to be you

Osama late to the dance, losing out to Rage Boy in lucrative “next Che” T-shirt market.

First victory for Bin Laden tape!

Southwest Airlines to mandate burkha policy for female passengers.

Gives BDS sufferers a complex

Trinidad & Tobago's Bush Bush Island, ecotourism in the sun.

“which land next week”

Return of Trunk Monkey!

“I've never done this kind of thing before”

Careless New Zealand exposes 104-year-old to hungry monkey.

“for what I have caused”

Senator Craig defends his heterosexuality, intends to hold his seat, demands an apology and a reach-around.

“could damage a child's organs if swallowed”

Mattel looks to pay the price of doing business with Chinese slave-masters.

UN stands by, offers recipes

Guerillas meet, eat gorillas in the Democratic Republic of Congo.

“a brain like a chimpanzee's”

Lucy takes Houston by storm as docents union fusses.

“another baby was born last Friday”

Lincoln Park Zoo grows their Goeldi's monkey troupe.

“reminiscent of Karl Rove”

Eddie Perez, leftist mayor of Hartford, CT, disappoints fellow travelers. It seems he's been stealing from the rich and keeping it.

(Also, weird kissing noises)

Kenyan monkeys make inappropriate hand gestures at local humans, apparently.

Chororapithecus abyssinicus

10-million-year-old species of pre-gorilla found in Ethiopian scrub.

Almost missed this non-monkey story...

China hates everyone. Eternal vigilance, boycott, &c. (Via Dr. Val and The Voice of Reason)

I Predict Failure

“the first Arabian zoo to breed the chimpanzee and the Arabian wild cat”

“I did not evolve from an ape”

He's sui generis  and he's proud.

Maybe it's not Incompetence?

How much before you say boycott?

“harsh measures”

Series of meaningless show-trials promised as China seeks coverup of deadly quality issues.

“a crafty alligator”

Is Oliver the monkey implicated in the escape shenanigans of Reggie the alligator?

“I'm tired of chasing a monkey”

Tupelo Zoo keepers played for fools by Oliver, the often-escaping monkey.

Gimme Back My Monkey!

Maryland woman fights city hall for monkey's return.

“Clouds are that 800-pound gorilla”

Newsflash: Debate not so settled, Al.

"Goodbye and good riddance"

Nancy-boy John Edwards issues the phrase that'll follow him for all time, along with that photo of him gazing into the compact, mesmerized.

Doing jobs that humans won't

Pacific Northwest to host hordes of defective chimpanzees.

Goodbye Donge

Donge, 22-year-old female lowland gorilla at Canada's Calgary Zoo, euthanized after long illness.

Made in China is like skull & crossbones

More fears about toothpaste, toys. China constructs crap, too.

“Kheti Bachao Sangrah Samiti”

India's monkey-menaced farmers search for someone to do something.

“tainted Chinese-made toothpaste”

Toothpaste recall a feather in Danbury Hospital's cap.

“The more we know, the more complex the story gets”

Red / blue divergence in fossil record?

An average college town

Madison, WI, police capture diaper-wearing bitey monkey.

“the 300-pound gorilla throwing its weight around”

Germans have a record-low opinion of America. Also, Rowayton lobster catch continues to disappoint.

“stashing the furry fist-size primate under his hat”

Marmoset smuggler finds no welcome in New York City.

I'm picturing chimpanzees loose on the lanes

Embracing stereotypes, Iowa's Great Ape Trust wins as charity Bowlathon for Great Apes is a $20,000 hit.

“the little bitty ol' monkey”

Oliver the monkey home safe and sound in Tupelo, MS.

"How come the public has no inkling about this?"

Australopithecus  fossil Lucy now touring the US.

They call him the iceman

Ferrari driver Kimi Raikkonen startles Hungarian paddock dressed as a gorilla.

“escaped”

Buffalo Park and Zoo in Tupelo, Miss. is missing a monkey.

“de Waal got it mostly wrong”

A defender of bonobo morality is found. Surprise: it's straight arrow Dinesh D'Souza.

Tonedeaf, with a bullet

Harry "Who Me?" Reid: Drop Dead! to Minnesota. (via Lileks at buzz.mn)

Sissy Pomade will be subsidized, tho!

In a fit of pique, Elizabeth Edwards declares you'll have to farm your own strawberries and cream, and carbon-free too, if you want to eat, come the revolution.

“Fisher-Price to Recall Nearly 1M Toys”

When you buy anything, remember China makes crap.

One monkey's question

Why have Democrats kept silent on unsettled warmonger Barack Obama and why haven't they revealed his plans to attack friendly governments?