“psychological damage”

No testimony from Little Joe the gorilla in Boston Franklin Park Zoo trial.

The rest of us are still laughing!

Whiny child has friends.

“We have an aging population of gorillas”

Surgery for fibroid tumors for gorilla at Chicago's Brookfield Zoo.

“a fistful of nuts”

Thanks to Sissy Willis for mailing this story about Democrats stuck in the monkey trap.

And They Watched Her!

Princess Anne amuses herself with a day of gibbon-watching.

“caused operations to be stalled for a few hours”

Monkey tosses spanner in the works at New Delhi's airport.

“Crab-eating Macaques”

Diving monkeys aren't photographed at California's Folsom City Zoo.

“positive attention from the females”

These three chimps walk into a fruit bar.

Sucks to be you

Osama late to the dance, losing out to Rage Boy in lucrative “next Che” T-shirt market.

First victory for Bin Laden tape!

Southwest Airlines to mandate burkha policy for female passengers.

Gives BDS sufferers a complex

Trinidad & Tobago's Bush Bush Island, ecotourism in the sun.

“which land next week”

Return of Trunk Monkey!

“I've never done this kind of thing before”

Careless New Zealand exposes 104-year-old to hungry monkey.

“for what I have caused”

Senator Craig defends his heterosexuality, intends to hold his seat, demands an apology and a reach-around.

“could damage a child's organs if swallowed”

Mattel looks to pay the price of doing business with Chinese slave-masters.

UN stands by, offers recipes

Guerillas meet, eat gorillas in the Democratic Republic of Congo.

“a brain like a chimpanzee's”

Lucy takes Houston by storm as docents union fusses.

“another baby was born last Friday”

Lincoln Park Zoo grows their Goeldi's monkey troupe.

“reminiscent of Karl Rove”

Eddie Perez, leftist mayor of Hartford, CT, disappoints fellow travelers. It seems he's been stealing from the rich and keeping it.

(Also, weird kissing noises)

Kenyan monkeys make inappropriate hand gestures at local humans, apparently.

Chororapithecus abyssinicus

10-million-year-old species of pre-gorilla found in Ethiopian scrub.

Almost missed this non-monkey story...

China hates everyone. Eternal vigilance, boycott, &c. (Via Dr. Val and The Voice of Reason)

I Predict Failure

“the first Arabian zoo to breed the chimpanzee and the Arabian wild cat”

“I did not evolve from an ape”

He's sui generis  and he's proud.

Maybe it's not Incompetence?

How much before you say boycott?

“harsh measures”

Series of meaningless show-trials promised as China seeks coverup of deadly quality issues.

“a crafty alligator”

Is Oliver the monkey implicated in the escape shenanigans of Reggie the alligator?

“I'm tired of chasing a monkey”

Tupelo Zoo keepers played for fools by Oliver, the often-escaping monkey.

Gimme Back My Monkey!

Maryland woman fights city hall for monkey's return.

“Clouds are that 800-pound gorilla”

Newsflash: Debate not so settled, Al.

"Goodbye and good riddance"

Nancy-boy John Edwards issues the phrase that'll follow him for all time, along with that photo of him gazing into the compact, mesmerized.

Doing jobs that humans won't

Pacific Northwest to host hordes of defective chimpanzees.

Goodbye Donge

Donge, 22-year-old female lowland gorilla at Canada's Calgary Zoo, euthanized after long illness.

Made in China is like skull & crossbones

More fears about toothpaste, toys. China constructs crap, too.

“Kheti Bachao Sangrah Samiti”

India's monkey-menaced farmers search for someone to do something.

“tainted Chinese-made toothpaste”

Toothpaste recall a feather in Danbury Hospital's cap.

“The more we know, the more complex the story gets”

Red / blue divergence in fossil record?

An average college town

Madison, WI, police capture diaper-wearing bitey monkey.

“the 300-pound gorilla throwing its weight around”

Germans have a record-low opinion of America. Also, Rowayton lobster catch continues to disappoint.

“stashing the furry fist-size primate under his hat”

Marmoset smuggler finds no welcome in New York City.

I'm picturing chimpanzees loose on the lanes

Embracing stereotypes, Iowa's Great Ape Trust wins as charity Bowlathon for Great Apes is a $20,000 hit.

“the little bitty ol' monkey”

Oliver the monkey home safe and sound in Tupelo, MS.

"How come the public has no inkling about this?"

Australopithecus  fossil Lucy now touring the US.

They call him the iceman

Ferrari driver Kimi Raikkonen startles Hungarian paddock dressed as a gorilla.

“escaped”

Buffalo Park and Zoo in Tupelo, Miss. is missing a monkey.

“de Waal got it mostly wrong”

A defender of bonobo morality is found. Surprise: it's straight arrow Dinesh D'Souza.

Tonedeaf, with a bullet

Harry "Who Me?" Reid: Drop Dead! to Minnesota. (via Lileks at buzz.mn)

Sissy Pomade will be subsidized, tho!

In a fit of pique, Elizabeth Edwards declares you'll have to farm your own strawberries and cream, and carbon-free too, if you want to eat, come the revolution.

“Fisher-Price to Recall Nearly 1M Toys”

When you buy anything, remember China makes crap.

One monkey's question

Why have Democrats kept silent on unsettled warmonger Barack Obama and why haven't they revealed his plans to attack friendly governments?

Like Marmite, but crunchy

Toothy baby crocodiles found while Australians search for tasty and nutritious monkeys.

“from the Crocodylus Park on Darwin's outskirts”

Monkey thief sought in Australia.

Now we can all can put our minds at ease, I'm sure

U.N. to investigate gorilla killings in Congo.

“two new black and white ruffed lemurs”

Philadelphia Zoo's full of lemurs.

A contest even Michael Vick would watch

Monkey v. Dog v. Wikipedia at 10 Zen Monkeys.

“They don't speak English”

Siamangs-a-popping at Louisville Zoo.

more.

Never met a man food-source he didn't like

Michigan man with catholic appetites dead while enjoying globe-trotting vacation.

Goodbye, Fifi

Sydney, Australia's Taronga Zoo mourns Fifi, a 60-year-old chimpanzee.

“The creature stole his glasses”

South Korean tourist in India files charges against thieving monkey.

Lazy!

Humans first walked upright 'to save energy,' scientists say.

“tainted hummus”

Sampling Iranian delicacies sickens over 100 in Chicago.

ring-tailed lemurs unharmed

Zebra gunned down in Texas drive-by.

“China makes crap”

“Everyone is familiar with chimpanzees”

Given the chance, chimps learn from us.

“some bugger wants me for dinner”

Ewan McGregor attracts unwanted attention while making gorilla documentary in “Democratic Republic of Congo”.

“seized more than 900 poached monkeys”

Monkey-poachers in Malaysia suffer a loss.

“flung a huge rock”

Cameroon gorilla acts for all humanity.

Earning PMRC offsets

Al Gore, on a contact high, insists that entertainment celebrities pissing fuel away on “Live Earth” is politically sound.

“hysteria in Al Gore’s schlockumentary”

Ice drilling in Greenland dissents from Al Gore's unanimous consensus.

Cheez Whiz?

City of Brotherly Love makes room for more gorillas.

“at the lemur exhibit ”

A tree grows in South Carolina then it lands on a three-year-old.

“Maybe they were planning on building an ark”

If they'll steal monkeys, they'll steal kittens.

“grey-shanked douc”

Scientists discover “the world's largest known population of the endangered monkey species”, endangered still, like world's tallest midgets.

“bitten an actor on the set”

Chim Chim not a happy chimpanzee, PETA alleges.

Can kazoo ban be far behind?

Wallingford, CT considers ban on Silly String.

“the verbally active Asian ape”

Gibbons at the door planned for an expanded Fresno Chaffee Zoo, taxpayers willing.

could go to China

I blame Nixon. (Free Tibet, too.)

‘a chimpanzee regularly referred to as the live show's "intern"’

G4 programming honcho revealed.

dismal science, indeed

Economics.com says researchers may get up at dawn hoping to grab chimpanzee faeces that fall from the trees.

“eldest child's IQ”

Like every other oldest, I endorse this science.

“It was easy to find a reason to take legal action against Van Roosmalen”

Dutch monkey researcher Marc van Roosmalen neglects to get his Brazilian monkey license, remembers to get his Brazilian monkeys. 14 year prison term awaits.

“A doctor's office can be a scary place”

Pediatric clinic distracts patients with live streaming video of Minnesota Zoo gibbons.

“they protect our freedom”

Sock monkeys support our troops.

“We have to ask ourselves what is going on here?”

Paris Hilton steals attention from manbearpig's marketing initiative.

“Lead Paint”

Via the underwear drawer, chinese poisoners pick their victims young.

“without looking like surrender monkeys”

You say &ldquoPull and Strike&rdquo, I suggest Yank and Crank, it's a wash.

‘The passenger in a vintage sidecar is called a "monkey"’

Sidecar racing.

Bipartisan!

One hand washes the other as Connecticut acts to protect crooked politician's pensions.

“and a three-year loss of hunting and fishing privileges”

Vermont man charged with keeping forbidden monkeys.

By gorilla or gorillas unknown

Netherland's Blijdorp Zoo liable for injuries caused by escaped all-too-well-known gorilla Bokito.

Scientists think they're so smart!

Chimpanzee at Kenya's Sweetwaters Chimpanzee Sanctuary reproduces despite contraceptives.

“Children = howler monkeys”

Behind the Counter disapproves of children running loose in his store.

Lowland gorillas are on their own

San Francisco is running for mountain gorillas.

“at the Bronx Zoo”

Gorilla mother and baby in this livescience feature.

Woot!

Well, this'll be fun.

“urged not to keep monkeys as pets”

Canada seeks stricter rules on exotic animals, UK to relax same.

“stealing cat food and defecating on the porch”

Vancouver suffers monkeys and friends on the loose.

“abusive or neglectful situations”

Monkeys with issues at Arizona's Keepers of the Wild.

‘63.5 million hits for "monkey"’

Houston entrepreneurs bet against Google.

“apologise in advance to all monkeys”

Hounds of blogwar loosed as Bulgarian and Macedonian factions post ugly.