“That was really stupid”

Photographer of 1969 Lake Worth Goat-Man Polaroid dismisses the internet favorite as a prank.

Putting theory to the test

UK's Bristol Zoo to let monkeys mingle with gorillas. The books all agree gorillas are vegetarian, as long as there's vegetation.

“turn to the side and then go up with the ass”

Pole Dancing: for the self-esteem.

“struggling to raise £5,000”

...or we shoot these baboons.

“gorillas are extremely rare and near extinction”

Screw all that presumption of innocence stuff, let's get to the sentencing!

“Chimpanzees are remarkably fragile”

Three more chimpanzee deaths at Primarily Primates in Texas.

“their return from Rwanda”

Like swallows to Capistrano, the peripatetic Nyakagezi group of gorillas have returned to Uganda.

“She can not control that monkey”

Missouri woman's monkey a menace, neighbors say.

“there were no plans to lift the current ban”

UK quashes talk of restarting use of great apes in medical experiments as “totally hypothetical”.

“communicating with the monkeys helped them”

Visitors to Belarus zoo can talk over their problems with the monkeys in the “psychological relief room”.

Opaque melodies that would bug most people

“Did Neanderthals invent music?” UK professor asks.

“he will be filing a complaint if the ape is not returned”

Orangutan seized from Cambodian official's taxi.

“protest outside the Manila Zoo”

Peta makes friends overseas.

“Would you rather them be here, or be dead?”

I'm thinking, I'm thinking!

“they need to adapt their homes and lives to live with baboons”

Residents vs. extreme conservationists in South Africa's battle of the baboons.

“to address some of Nepal's most pressing health concerns, which include HIV, tuberculosis, hepatitis, and malaria”

India, chronically over-run with monkeys, banned the export of all Rhesus macaques in 1978. Now little Nepal steps up to help fill the gap.

“the gorillas from the movie remembered who she was”

Sigourney Weaver reunited with Gorillas in the Mist costars.

“names will be given to 12 baby primates”

Uganda markets branding opportunities at annual gorilla-naming festivities.

We'll need monkeys!

Harvey at Bad Example sends along this pointer to a monkey-oriented storyline at Sluggy Freelance

“goes where no one has been stupid enough to go before”

The Last Angry Young Man blogs the Monkey Chow Diaries

“offer applies to children aged between three and 15”

UK's Monkey World Ape Rescue Centre offers bargain rates for kids in June.

“nasty, hyperadaptable, eating, rooting, wrecking machines”

Feral hogs (“the second smartest animal behind only chimpanzees”) disrupt life in Colorado.

“more than 160 people were left homeless”

Four dead, evictions due for remaining residents of 16 Malaysian homes after landslide in habitat of silver-tailed monkeys at Taman Zooview.

“so where does that leave us ethically?”

Celebrities hit back at calls to lift UK's ban on testing on great apes.

“rickshaws, head massages, yoga and monkeys”

“monkeys eating chapatis”...monkeys eating chapatis...if now is the start of the long-feared global monkey rebellion, right when I'm busy, I'll be vexed.

“the orangutans, the lemurs and the residents of Monkey Village”

Arizona's Phoenix Zoo to add evening entertainments.

“train the local staff in chemical immobilisation of wild animals”

India's Jammu and Kashmir Wildlife Protection Department to take monkey menace lessons in West Bengal.

“equivalent moral status”

Sissy Willis sends a pointer to this New Scientist page reminding us that sometimes you don't get advances in medicine without experiments on monkeys.

“If Dian were alive, this would never happen”

Yerkes National Primate Research Center wants to perform medical experiments on some of the mangabeys they raised in their primate colony. Author of Dian Fossey biography channels her late subject, who opposes the research posthumously (and subjunctively).

“My wife failed to grab it but noticed it had a tail”

Via Monkeys In The News, sleeping man in China depantsed by monkey.

“the Reticulated Massai species of giraffe did not exist”

Legal woes loom for Pakistan's Lahore Zoo after they determine they don't really want a pair of giraffes after all. Capuchin and Colobus monkeys they'll take, though.

“This is real life... right here”

Former chimpanzee-tracker to try his hand at railroad conducting.

Gorilla at rest

Congo gorilla featured in BBC News readers' photos feature.

“I don't want to come across as a nutcase here”

Experts declare Clarence, New York, Bigfoot a hoax.

They Saved Hitler's Globe

Via Cronaca, safe, save for one bullet hole, in German Historical Museum. No monkeys, though.

“It is the source of ideas”

Thanks to Sissy Willis for sending along a pointer to this AmbivaBlog post pointing to Richard Lawrence Cohen on the “monkey mind”.

“Gorilla Composting”

I don't know who said it first, but “Compost Happens.” In Canada, on the other hand...

All depends on how you look at it!

Global warming, global cooling. Ape drought, ape glut.

“We get our good looks from the handsome, hairy knuckle-walkers”

Cleveland Museum of Natural History goes all-out for chimpanzees.

“Rabbits are a staple at the zoo”

Dinner's not all Monkey Chow™(*) at Minnesota's Lake Superior Zoo.

“brazen colobus monkeys”

Zanzibar ravaged by marauding monkeys:

One bullet costs about one cent but can kill only one monkey and we can’t afford to buy thousands of bullets

“a long-tailed South American monkey”

Would-be speller tripped up by sapajou.

“My husband found a butterfly cocoon in his orange juice once”

Other people: won't take personal responsibility for their failings!

“A fed baboon is a dead baboon”

Please don't feed the baboons!

“to instill an appreciation for and respect of the apes”

Great Ape Trust of Iowa begins offering free tours, attendance by apes not mandatory.

“has even tried to seduce women visitors”

Ivo, gorilla at Germany's Berlin Zoo, still still without issue.

“will not obtain or breed any nonhuman primate for any purpose”

Minnesota Primate Freedom Project schedules protest at University of Minnesota against the use of nonhuman primates in research.

“One female and two male”

Three black and white ruffed lemurs born at California's Sacramento Zoo.

“He looks like King Kong”

Ape and monkey fun at Indiana's Fort Wayne Children’s Zoo.

“Only humans and some apes are allergic to poison ivy”

One more reason for our nearest relatives to fear Al Gore.

“rats were subjected to memory tests and were forced to swim”

Peta loons applaud Welch's decision to discontinue animal testing of future grape-juice products, begin testing on your offspring, Timmy & little Zygote.

“author of "Cast a Giant Shadow"”

Ted Berkman, writer of “Bedtime for Bonzo,” dead at 92.

“I trust animals more than humans”

Louis Leakey's daughter-in-law Lynne visits Rhode Island to drum up travel agency business.

“contrarian evolutionary thinkers”

Last seen in these pages in March, 2004, University of Pittsburgh tenure-dweller Jeffrey Schwartz still insists yunsers evolved from orangutans, not chimpanzees, evidence be damned!

Speaking Maoism to yellow running-dogs!

Apparent political filtering in Google News doesn't restrict the Revolutionary Communist Party. (*)

“It will use as few monkeys as possible”

Medical University of South Carolina to study learning and memory in rhesus monkeys as part of work on Alzheimer's and Parkinson's.

“An ice cream-eating contest will be held at 2 p.m.”

Statue of Bill the chimpanzee at California's Sequoia Park Zoo to be unveiled today yesterday.

“no official dared to question the powerful minister”

India's Railway Minister Lalu Prasad spotted violating monkey-feeding prohibition.

“their methodology is highly questionable”

Proposal of new genus for kipunji monkey (Rungwecebus kipunji ?)  is disputed. Long-simmering tensions between geneticists and claddists threaten open warfare at any moment.

“non-sightings rarely occur”

Uganda's $360 gorilla-viewing permits will now be guaranteed: see gorillas or your money back.

“Dad carries the babies most of the time”

Two golden lion tamarins born at New York's Binghamton Zoo.

“We definitely are in dire need of some funds”

Kansas's loss is Texas's gain, or it will be if $150k turns up. Why can't George Soros use his shadowy foreign fortune for niceness, like this, instead of evil, like Kos appearing on the TV while I'm trying to eat?

“Monkey say bye”

They did it! The bastards finally did it! Damn you all! Damn you all to hell!!

(And, what's American Idol?)

“The epidemic took off in Kinshasa, in Brazzaville”

AIDS origin in Cameroon chimpanzees, researchers say.

“change the colour of the wall of the Chimpanzee's enclosure”

India's Mysore Zoo enlists internationally reputed Zoo consultant currently engaged in developing Zoos in Pakistan, Abu Dhabi and Canada to prepare a plan.

Goodbye, Pogo

Pogo, 48-year-old gorilla at San Francisco Zoo, dead of apparent old age.

“ticks tend to go for warm moist parts of the body in adults”

UK health officials advise people to make like an ape and check for ticks, to ward off lyme disease. Tick disposal techniques are left up to you.

“five in just 10 days”

Killing of baboons in South Africa continues. Government action promises unintended consequences in a big way.

“polio vaccines tainted with SV40 between 1955 and 1963”

Simian Virus 40(SV40) implicated in non-Hodgkin's lymphoma.

“he compared his hirsute looks to the real gorillas”

Tarzan star does a little publicity at Bronx Zoo's Congo Gorilla Forest.

A birthday case of bar scotch from Teddy Kennedy

“Remove all of the benefits associated with being a Democrat.”

“The committees didn't use the input of a single primatologist”

Swiss Ethics Committee on Non-human Biotechnology and the Swiss Committee on Animal Experiments recommendeds total ban on experiments involving great apes, severe restrictions on experiments involving other primates.

“unlikely roommates”

South Dakota's Great Plains Zoo adds three squirrel monkeys (and an anteater)

“The apes are everywhere”

Reporter reports iPod lost to a Barbary Ape.

“we will not have anything on which to test”

Uganda fears gorilla shortage, but admits they don't know the population, or location.

“simple table wine”

Monkeys and apes at Budapest Zoo enjoy the health benefits of wine.

Fixed link

“the regal and solemn gorillas”

A couple column-inches of filler on the Los Angeles Zoo.

This week in astronomy

May 28, 1959: Monkeys in space!

“Nearly every macaque monkey in captivity carries the herpes-b virus”

Captive Primate Safety Act will ban interstate transportation of apes, monkeys, lemurs, marmosets, and other nonhuman primates for the pet trade.

“Thailand has promised to send several orangutans back”

Indonesia's efforts to retrieve their orangutans continue.

“It was pretty stinky and it was bright orange”

An early apprenticeship in baboon scat leads to bigger and better things in wolverine scat.

Arias in the Mist

After their successes with operas based on Muhammad Ali and on Helen Thomas, Kentucky Opera's VISIONS program unveils the operatic version of gorilla researcher Dian Fossey in one act, through the magic of tax dollars.

...like you're yelling

Tumai's remains given to “Great Ape Aging Project”

“stems from misunderstandings”

Bioethicist thinks right for apes is a swell & dandy idea.

Update: Zoe Brain thinks so, too.

“an ordinary person who suffered microcephaly”

Via Archaeology in Europe, the Hobbits of Flores are debunked.

Update: Rebunking begun.

“like a bunch of gangsters that have come to taunt us”

Hard feelings about South Africa's house-invading baboons, and about those killing baboons in response.

“she picks fights with him”

MJ, an orangutan at Ohio's Toledo Zoo, receives physical therapy for a shoulder injury she got last October while rough-housing with her half brother.

“Tumai died of heart disease”

Necropsy on Tumai, gorilla who died while in transit to Pennsylvania's Erie Zoo, determines that this was not a well ape, if an asymptomatic one.

“no one has ever made any attempt to visit him or provide any assistance”

Threat of lawsuits in Sierra Leone chimpanzee rampage.

Goodbye, Tumai

Tumai, 21-year-old lowland gorilla, dies while being flown from Memphis Zoo to Pennsylvania's Erie Zoo.

Update: Jinx!

“A young rhesus macaque...middle-aged”

Rhesus macaque rescued in Singapore in 2004 to be “repatriated to India”.

“water cannot cut fruit”

In addition to yesterday's news that apes can plan (and plot?), Sissy Willis sends a pointer to this article from Harvard that refutes David Hume and shows monkeys reasoning cause-and-effect.

Cebus queirozi

Brazilian scientists claim new monkey species find in the rainforest.

The baboon whisperer?

From South Africa's Hermanus Times:

An internationally renowned animal communicator will be holding a workshop at Glencairn this weekend to help people understand the gentler side of the controversial chacma baboons of Klein Slangkop. Maybe some of our locals should attend.

“Chimpanzee kills one month old baby”

Another death at chimpanzee hands, in Sierra Leone.

“She broke her finger shortly after she was born”

Denver Zoo shows off their favorite brawler, a baby Howler Monkey, visible through now in the nursery.

Update: Less a finger!

“figuring out an ape's intentions isn't a cinch”

Max Planck Institute for Evolutionary Anthropology reasearchers find foresight among apes. They're just biding their time!

“no prosecution can be instituted at this time”

South African baboons being illegally shot.

Update: Maybe there will be prosecution.

“the largest operating wood carousel built since the '30's”

As your prehistoric ancestors did, you'll be able to ride the ape at the new carousel at Chicago's Brookfield Zoo.

“syntax-like natural communication system in a non-human species”

British scientists study how monkeys combine calls to form "sentences." How to say "Look behind you, a bear!" not determined.