“this went on for about four million years”

Harvard and MIT researchers find evidence of interbreeding between human & chimpanzee ancestors!

“repairs to a hot water heater”

Monkey, cats, killed in Gaithersburg, MD, townhouse blaze.

No monkeys involved

Casablanca in 30 seconds, re-enacted by bunnies.

“my hands are full of bite marks”

Monkeys go to school in Malaysia to learn how to pick coconuts.

“It forced an immediate evacuation of the park”

Rebuilt gorilla enclosure at Utah's Hogle Zoo working just fine. Wolf enclosure, though, that'll need some work.

“harmony was temporarily disturbed”

Barbary macaque killed and eaten by bears at Holland's Beekse Bergen Safari Park.

Update: PDF with Dutch text and clear color photos of bears killing and eating monkey.

Further: UK rewrite.

“He has developed a fine set of teeth”

First birthday for Namoki, gorilla at UK's Bristol Zoo Gardens

“the vase was restored Monday”

Taj Mahal vandalized by monkey!

“Winky, a 39-year-old Capuchun (sic) Monkey”

Police in Roanoke, Virginia, recapture fleeing Capuchin Monkey.

“Goodbye primates, hello planet”

Jane Goodall's plans for world domination glimpsed. It's a secular tranzi paradise!

“Blaine would run across a Bengal tiger - and it would eat him”

Horribly pruned illusionist David Blaine, hoping for recovery, plans next stunt playing at Tarzan up a Sundari tree.

“The menu in Diitabiki includes rice, mangos, monkey meat, wild boar and agouti”

Surinamese finally take advantage of 40 years of "and if you're ever in our country, you'll stay with us." *

“attacked and pulled down twelve-feet from the terrace of his house”

A man in India, attacked at his home by a monkey last month, has died of his injuries.

“Our neighbour had heard that the poor monkeys in Melbourne might not get their bananas”

Banana prices skyrocket in Australia, monkeys hardest hit.

“They will say the pictures are phony”

Is there sufficient market for two photos-of-Bigfoot books? Who'll publish first?

“I think the monkey was really weak”

Pakistan's Lahore Zoo loses monkey to undisclosed illness.

“agricultural officials were pelted with manure”

Firestorm Shitstorm erupts in Maine over government's plan for mandatory registration of farm animals.

“a Jew-baiter, fascist and traitor to his own country”

Ezra Pound, let's pretend that national socialism, international socialism, and transnational socialism are aren't the same thing waving different-colored flags!

“a silverback gorilla, named Babec, and the pacemaker that saved his life”

Foundation for Biomedical Research hands out 2005-2006 Michael E. DeBakey Journalism Awards “to inspire exceptional, outstanding, and ongoing news coverage of biomedical research that involves laboratory animals”.

Azizi

Name chosen from short list for colobus monkey at Michigan's Binder Park Zoo.

“at least five times as strong as a man”

The Tacugama Chimpanzee Sanctuary and St. James Davis chimpanzee attacks are remembered.

“trying to steal monkeys from a pet shop”

12-year prison sentences for three Animal Rights fanatics in UK grave-robbing case.

ISPCA to the rescue!

Irish mechanic rescues dehydrated and traumatised monkey from filthy cage in a van belonging to a travelling show.

There's splitters about!

Genus Lophocebus split!! Rungwecebus kipunji  created!!! Lumpers outraged!!!!

Update: Wasting no time, Rungwecebus kipunji  declared an endangered species

‘Kennedy curse’ explained

“A study carried out in monkeys has found that long-term alcohol consumption can affect the turnover of immune system cells in the intestine...”

“Leave us alone you filthy apes or I’ll sick Charlton Heston on you”

Taunting the monkeys of Devil’s Island, for spite's sake.

“Hu, hoo, hu, hoo”

New head of Kyoto University's Primate Research Institute knows his way around a chimpanzee.

“This is their choice. It is their body”

The loss of a lucky charm, a mummified baby monkey, leads to the mummification of a deceased newborn son.

“monkeys have stolen all my fruit”

Indonesian monkeys, protesting tourism downturn due to volcano fears, abandon forest homes for villages and farms.

“monkeys stumble and fall, sway, and vomit”

National Institutes of Health Animal Center in Maryland gets monkeys drunk. For science!

Impending green paradigm shift!

Conservation Biology  says roads bad, multinational corporations good.

“Sprinklers have been installed in the cages of the animals”

Monkeys with popsicles stave off a heat wave at a zoo in Gwalior, India.

“the same press release every year”

Peta loons pester University of California Davis California National Primate Research Center.

They can hurt you so many ways

Mad scientist at New Zealand's University of Canterbury plans android chimpanzee.

“News Briefs from Sierra Leone”

Dissident chimpanzees from Tacugama Chimpanzee Sanctuary are implicated in the serious wounding of an elementary school teacher.

“missing two fingers on his left hand, thanks to a 170-pound chimpanzee”

Growing pains at Iowa's 40-year-old Blank Park Zoo are remembered.

“the apes and the monkeys are quite friendly”

Son of former head keeper at Edinburgh Zoo reminisces.

“born on Mother's Day last year”

Fruit cakes and PVC toys for birthday orangutan Acara at Utah's Hogle Zoo.

distilled whippet shit

At Heliopolis, Orson Welles's unhappy frozen pea ad is nearly matched by fourth Doctor Tom Baker's unhappy furniture ad.

What's all this then?

Police at Palolem-Canacona, India, free illegally-domesticated monkey.

“and actress Loretta Swit”

Peta loons in Texas court fight over monkey maintenance money.

Good behavior

Diademed sifaka at the newly-renamed Duke University Lemur Center lobbies for a nicer cage.

“We never thought they could use sticks”

Ten dissident Sierra Leone chimpanzees, including Bruno, leader of the rebellion, reported still loose.

‘I began whimpering, "Please get off. Please get off me"’

Curing fuzzy monkey syndrome with a visit to Lopburi, Thailand.

“and Chi-Chi the monkey”

The entertaining past of Chicago's Pied Piper Land remembered.

“one of the world's most endangered primates”

Glacier's seasonal retreat occurs just in time for annual opening of Wisconsin's Menominee Park Zoo, now free.

“16,000 species of plants and animals”

If the Geneva-based World Conservation Union had a big fist-full of Euros for every species in danger of extinction, hey, call it a business plan!

“Western Lowland Gorillas”

Baby gorillas debut at the Bronx Zoo

“also enter lemurs’ cages at the Duke Lemur Center”

Parents who send their middle-school-aged daughters to Duke University’s weeklong Action Science Camp

Got some salt?

Two words: Monolith Monsters.

“monkeys do not have relationships with chickens”

Scott McClellan's farewell press conference.

“the first ever born at the zoo”

Two survivors among black and white lemur births at Attleboro, MA's, Capron Park Zoo.

“the tree's not going to make it”

Honolulu Zoo lemurs kept in lock-down for over four months by Arbor Day project run amok. AZA accreditation imperiled.

“such as the monkey, paca, and peccary”

Life, and dining, among Amazon dwellers, as seen by the Wilderness Classroom Organization.

“good homes with their own species”

Thirty-three monkeys from five species rescued from illegal bushmeat butchers in South Africa, shipped to US zoos.

“lock your doors and secure windows”

Tourist in Malaysia receives unwelcome visitors.

“they are very bad at inhibiting their aggression”

Sierra Leone's dissident chimpanzees still on the loose.

“finishing fourth in the Chiltern Junior Sevens League”

Lionesses and lemurs, in UK's Woburn Safari Park.

“helped themselves to an assortment of muffins, cheese and other delicacies”

Children terrorized, but unharmed, by hungry baboons at South Africa's Hermanus Yacht Club.

“Disney has the reputation for being very corporate”

Phil Collins: composer of Disney's Tarzan, the musical, including a paean to Tarzan's ape foster parents.

Give your feet a rest: brachiate to work!

Orangutans and commuters expected to benefit from American Forests tree planting.

“sexiest zoo in America”

Two gorilla births expected this fall at Cincinnati Zoo.

Boffo laffs!

Maybe if you'd diagram his funny, you wouldn't be alone in getting its, uh, jokiness. (via Instapundit)

“It looked at me and I froze”

Australian Rugby Union Flyhalf Brock James encounters a baboon in his hotel while visiting South Africa.

“A tree stump is something that you can't hide”

If there's one thing a gorilla loves to eat, it says, it's a rotten stump. In other news, that may bode poorly for predicting parasite infestation of gorilla-populated woodlands.

“I think it was a freak accident”

Dallas Zoo, betting that two years is long enough to forget, reopens gorilla exhibit.

“sometimes making wee-wee on my shoulder”

Deceased Milwaukee horror host remembered as a man with a monkey.

“like something out the PLANET OF THE APES”

Hollywood starlet Rachel Weisz: secret Lycanthropy sufferer.

“These experiments are sick”

Man-hating UK animal rights activists decry tests of long-term reproductive effects of soy milk on baby marmoset monkeys, demand they test on baby boys instead.

“After all, it is public tax dollars”

California's Chaffee Zoo, its accreditation on reprieve and managed by its third director in three months, to get new master plan. First decision: chimpanzees must go!

“if conditions don't improve, they will file a complaint”

Animal rights yelpers complain about monkey mistreatment at the University of South Alabama's Primate Research Laboratory.

“chimpanzees cannot swim”

Gambia's Chimpanzee Rehabilitation Association assures locals and tourists that their chimps, sequestered safely on islands off-limits to visitors, won't run amok, like in Sierra Leone. Unless people get too close. People are reminded not to get too close.

“they had beards and pointed ears”

A Marxist reviews Chris Beard's The Hunt for the Dawn Monkey: Unearthing the Origins of Monkeys, Apes, and Humans. Anthropoid ancestors of Proletarians of all countries, unite!

“smeared with strawberry jam”

Joined birthday celebrations for pair of six-year-gorillas at Australia's Melbourne Zoo.

“to better understand and improve our relationship with the environment”

Jane Goodall remains mum on Sierra Leone chimpanzee insurrection, plans trip to Canada

“when they mature, they get really nasty”

Addition of monkeys, wolves, wolf-dogs to Maryland's list of banned exotic pets awaits only governor's signature.

The sponsor of Maryland's ban, Delegate Pauline Menes, said she didn't know of any Maryland deaths caused by wild pets, but she feared it could happen.

Criminalizion of running with scissors impending.

“I knew I was going to die”

Retellings of the Sierra Leone chimpanzee attack, we got. New news of Bruno and the troupe he leads, though, quiet, too quiet.

“A large window is set on the side of the monkey hill”

The 130 million yen monkey observation house at Japan's Sapporo Maruyama Zoo let's you see the macaques up close without any danger of contact with the filthy little monsters.

“as the smell dissipated the baboons came back”

A steady supply of lion dung important for South Africa's Western Cape wineries.

“More and more cases of monkey bites”

A recent census estimates 6,000 monkeys running wild in New Delhi. There's a single shelter for them, quite full, and no volunteers to accept Delhi's overflow. That's a lotta monkeys.

“The only other country to have adopted comparable measures is New Zealand”

“When a chimpanzee takes your hand to tell you something, you feel that you are dealing with a special creature”*
When he then pulls your arm out of the socket and beats you to death with it, you're reminded of the nature of that creature**

*Spain's Pedro Pozas, secretary-general of the Great Ape Project, advocating for United Nations granting of human rights to great apes
**MonkeyWatch giving sound advice

“quite a shift from reptiles”

Georgia's AHP Exotics to add monkeys (“small monkeys&rdquo) to sales repertoire. They grow up, Bill. They grow up.

“because of the monkey and bull menace”

Fruit shortage in Jagatsinghpur and Paradi, India.

“monkey meat”

Monkey fails in attempt to illegally enter Australia via parcel post.

“effective against livestock, wildlife and human intrusion”

In Kenya, cactus fences make good neighbors, it's hoped

“to check the burgeoning population of monkeys and langoors”

Himachal Pradesh, India, to begin sterilizing urban monkeys.

“why are these rights granted to great apes but not to lesser apes?”

Belgians urge Spanish socialist to make granting human rights to great apes only the beginning.

“warning letters to tribal headmen”

Bruno, renegade leader of Siera Leone's dissident chimpanzees, dubbed “Osama bin Laden” by wardens.

“Now they hope to use a similar vaccine to try to treat Ebola”

New hope for monkeys with Marburg virus.

“Old Bruno, the lovable alpha male”

Didn't it occur to you to tell anyone: demon chimpanzee?

“still at large”

No demands yet received from Sierra Leone chimps.

“got into lots of mischief”

Official bio of Bruno, renegade leader of Sierra Leone's killer chimpanzee troupe, needs an update.

Bruno: the signs were there!

Bruno, the alpha chimp..., refused to go across to the far enclosure...something big was up and he wasn’t about to go...Bruno is a brilliant rock thrower...flirting with disaster...Bruno knew something was up and he refused to budge...Bruno often doesn’t like strangers...He threw a rock at the offender...we all had to laugh and respect Bruno’s keen intelligence

Still laughing? Call him Bruno, call him Αλςιβιαδες, he's slipped the leash and run true to form.

Portrait of the Guerilla as a Younger Chimp

Bruno's rise to power.

It's all how you look at it!

From Texas: Crazed chimpanzees attack Texas man, 3 others
From Canada: Chimpanzees injure Canadian, kill African driver in Sierra Leone

“the discovery of a unique species”

Paleontologists at the newly-renamed Duke Lemur Center believe the now-extinct Thyrohyrax  had outsized banana-shaped jaws it used to make a loud booming sound.

“I believe in competition, but ...”

Others argued that the problem of skyrocketing gasoline prices can't be fixed by state government, but only through decisions at the national and international levels.

We're doomed.

Must be U.N. wildlife rangers

Kenyan wildlife rangers said to be siding with farm-raiding baboons.

“it had hatred in it's eyes”

Eye-witness report of killer chimpanzee attack in Sierra Leone.

Sierra Leone killer chimps - around the blogs

More angry chimps... at Innisfree.
Chimps Kill Cab Driver and Attack Passengers! at Taxicab News, Articles and Posts!
Killer Chimp on The Loose at The Primate Journal
The New Enemy at Alien Rest Stop
Allah's Monkeys Slay Kafir, Maim Others at Al-Jack
Chimps Revolt at The BLOG
Unfinished Monkey Business at I Think We're Salone Now...
Monkey news at english ranter
Everybody's workin' for the Chimpdown at Filthy Badger
don't mess with chimps at Vaguely Logical
Chimpanzees kill a man, maul others at college_buddha
The Ape Rebellion Begins at Lot 49
Playa Chimp Returns! at Papa Razzi
Not Again! Not again! at The Angry Czeck
Police Hunt For Chimps After Fatal Attack at Garfield Ridge
Chimps Go On Murderous Rampage at Florida Cracker

And no lack of more at Google Blog search