“somehow escaped their SUV”

Shelbyville TN learns: if you invite foreigners you invite their pet monkeys.

“a lot of trouble if he didn't say how he got that monkey”

Florida monkey-napper comes clean, marmoset safe.

“a troupe of 29 baboons raided four cars”

Increasingly aggressive troupes of monkeys in Cape Town, South Africa.

“monkeys are unpredictable”

Indiana girl suffers due to heartland monkey mania.

“monkeys attack people if they carry anything”

India's monkey menace continues unabated.

“swinging from treetops to rooftops”

Florida's runaway monkey still on the run, last seen in Oldsmar.

“likely the same macaque that was seen in East Tampa last week”

Day care lock-down in Hillsborough, FL, as monkey is seen roaming.

"cloned human meat at prices you like"

Cloning Animal 57 for fun and profit. (h/t)

Stay alive, don't buy Chinese!

Grand World Recalls “Bobby Chupete” Pacifiers Due to Choking Hazard

Children’s Hooded Sweatshirts and Jackets Recalled by Century 21 Promotions, Inc. Due to Strangulation Hazard

Update This just in: Fire and Burn Hazards Prompt Recall of Gas Grills Sold at Lowe’s Stores

Meta meta meta

Got my novel H1N1 vaccination today. Didn't think to demand extra thimerosal, but they might not have gotten the joke, so it's just as well that I didn't.

“Nassir, Neo, Niko, Nigel and Nsambu”

Toronto Zoo to name baby gorilla in camera-friendly publicity stunt.

Update: Nassir.

Down the rat-hole it goes!

$5.1 million in federal tax-payer's money awarded to Boston's New England Primate Research Center.

Stay alive, don't buy Chinese!

Treestands Recalled by Gander Mountain Company Due to Fall Hazard

Backpack Blowers Recalled by Homelite Due to Fire Hazard

Bicycles Recalled by Easton Sports; Stem Failure Poses Fall Hazard

“it may not even be a monkey”

Tampa, FL police responded this morning to an unconfirmed report of a monkey in a tree.

Update: Monkey, confirmed.

“Gorilla Tough Cuff”

Zoo Atlanta and a group of Georgia Tech undergraduates succeed in getting voluntary blood pressure readings from Ozzie, a 48-year-old male western lowland gorilla,

Stay alive, don't buy Chinese!

Maclaren USA Recalls to Repair Strollers Following Fingertip Amputations

Ouch!

“We have always only had males”

Two female gorillas moved from Chicago's Lincoln Park Zoo to FL's Jacksonville Zoo and Gardens.

Goodbye, M’Bili

17-year-old male Lowland gorilla found dead Saturday morning at Topeka Zoological Park. A necropsy will be performed.

Update: Uh-oh, the death "comes amid controversy at the zoo."

Update: Necropsy results: ruptured aortic aneurysm.

Stay alive, don't buy Chinese!

The Life is Good Company Travel Mugs Recalled Due to Burn Hazard

Children’s Art Easels Recalled by MacPherson’s Due to Violation of Lead Paint Standard

Vulgar boatmen of the Ganges

Dying their monkeys hair black to attract the tourist trade

“A monkey has died”

New openness at Topeka Zoo.

“a Guinness World Record”

1,061 people dressed as gorillas in Denver, CO.

“armed with handguns”

Tell the Northern Ireland police, I suspect monkeys in monkey masks!