Aint no big deal!

First Connecticut was a laughing-stock because we were an unwitting host to a bird-fighting ring. Now, because the sentence was probation.

Stay alive, don't buy Chinese, no fooling!

Lamplight Farms Recalls Replacement Torch Fuel Containers Due to Fire Hazard

“fulfilled her purpose”

Gorilla born at Toronto Zoo,

“which had escaped from a zoo”

Calls are made to police in UK as gorilla-costumed charity runner is mistaken for gorilla.

“the orangutan loves his dog”

Suryia the orangutan and Roscoe, his hound dog

“part of Mrs Wombwell's Travelling Menagerie”

150 years after the fact, Jenny, the UK's first gorilla, becomes a media star.

What a maroon!

He's not beneath contempt, repugs, he's entirely deserving of contempt!

They do protest too much

Why do Democrats assume that any references anyone else makes to monkeys can only refer to the President?

“to beat their ideological drum”

A struggling scholar gets all wee-weed up at people who fail to ignore facts instead of reciting the politically correct view of bonobos.

A gorilla may put the touch on you, though

Those with a Facebook account can Friend a Gorilla.

h/t

A poor man's Rich Little

Kathleen Sebelius does Bela Lugosi impressions.

Goodbye Charlie

Charlie, chimpanzee at the Oregon Zoo, dies of suspected heart attack or stroke.

Stay alive, don't vacation in China, either!

Monkey pushes vacationing woman off cliff in Chengdu China.

Stay alive, don't buy Chinese!

Garlic Press/Slicers Recalled by Trudeau Corporation Due to Laceration Hazard

one year, suspended

Wrist slapped in case of Missouri monkey-stealing.

Goodbye Titus

One of Rwanda's oldest Mountain Gorilla silverbacks, Titus The Gorilla King, has died.

Shiny!

Apes can see ripe bananas flouresce, Austrian scientist says.

I wonder if alcohol was involved

"disrupted a New York Mets game by jumping onto Citi Field naked except for a stuffed monkey tied around his waist"

“simply epic”

Monkey-masked Arizona scofflaw cited, and cited, and cited, and ...

Stay alive, don't buy Chinese!

Children’s Animal Masks and Pendants Recalled by Team Work Trading Due to Risk of Lead Exposure

“not worth the cost of extraditing her”

Charges against Wisconsin woman wanted for stealing a styrofoam banana from a gas station dropped.

“then went on to rob”

A gorilla and a clown walk into a pub in Manchester...

“an Asian origin for anthropoid primates”

“Ganlea megacanina shows that the first anthropoids originated in Asia rather than in Africa,” said French paleontologist Professor Laurent Marivaux.

“a needle in a haystack”

Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation is seeking after a pet Patas monkey in Marion County

“fruit, leaves and small vertebrates like mice”

Mouse has hair's-breadth escape from lemur at Five Sisters Zoo in perfidious Scotland.

“Metallica made them react”

Scientists find cottontop tamarins rocking out, throwing devil's horns, in a mellow fashion.

Stay alive, don't buy Chinese!

Baby Jogger Recalls Strollers Due to Fall Hazard

Wal-Mart Announces Recall Expansion of Durabrand DVD Players Due to Fire Hazard

OfficeMax Recalls Office Chairs Due to Fall Hazard

“moved to the Munda Wanga Botanical Gardens”

Zambian president evicts from the state house the monkeys who earlier this year urinated on him.

“vanished into thin air”

Police in India lose monkey thief.

Update: Caught him.