“the higher up a monkey goes in a tree the more its bottom is exposed”

Electric failures again in St. Kitts and Nevis.

“every day more and more congo and white faced monkeys”

Costa Rica monkey population benefits from National Park protection, scientist says.

“the jelly tsotsi’s rather lame apology”

There's something incomprehensible and fascinating about other people's politics.

“They interrupt the electricity supply”

Sri Lanka's Trincomalee plagued with acrobatic monkeys.

“commuted a 14-year term”

Monkey-researcher Marc van Roosmalen freed from Brazilian prison.

“and really tug hard”

Reward offered information leading to the conviction of the thief of a mechanical gorilla head in Appleton WI.

Appleton news.

“held in unsanitary conditions”

4 monkeys were among the 478 wild animals seized by Institute of Natural Resources police in Lima Peru.

“based around a tragic historic tale”

Baboon Night in UK's Oasby, which commemorates the 1733 death of six-month old Viscount Conningsby, hurled to his death from an upstairs window by the family's baboon.

“technically it isn't wrong”

British Union for the Abolition of Vivisection would gleefully watch you suffer and die, untreated, before letting a medical research monkey suffer.

“just like a human can”

Diabetic de Brazza monkey at UK's Port Lympne Wild Animal Park doesn't resist his daily insulin injection.

He turns 64

Punch out a scientist today, it's Ben Stein's birthday! (You get to punch Ben on Charles Darwin's birthday*, so it all works out.)

Update: *February 12, by the way.

“little stinker keeps getting out”

Magic disappearing monkey Little Bit perplexes keepers at Clay Center Zoo in Kansas.

“gorilla observation lab is taught by Lorna Joachim”

I've missed my calling! University of New Mexico offers college credit for gorilla watching!!

“I’m going to meet with the chief monkey”

Peals of laughter at Malaysia's Johor state assembly as the problems of monkey menace are considered.

“like a flash of hairy light.”

You're not welcome at Georgia's Gorilla Haven, unless you're a gorilla (and they'll know if you're faking).

“Drive out the monkey and get votes”

It's election time in monkey-ridden rural India.

“a large adult monkey”

Australian woman hurt in 20 metre fall into a Hong Kong reservoir while running away from a monkey trying to steal a bag of nuts she was carrying.

Fairly disgusting

Had to go to my primary care doc today, turns out my problem hearing this week was just waxy yellow buildup. I didn't much appreciate his gleefully showing me what he took out of my ears, but OK, everybody needs a hobby.

Stay alive, don't buy Chinese!

Near Strangulation of Child Prompts Recall to Repair Window Blinds by Green Mountain Vista

Stay alive, don't buy Chinese!

Target Recalls Dive Sticks Due to Impalement Hazard

“Tarsiers are unusual primates”

Pygmy tarsier only mostly extinct, as it turns out.

“primates without tails”

Florida's Center for Great Apes, home to more than 40 apes, each great.

“G-O-D”

Kathleen Parker says: let's throw Christians under the bus. Dingbat.

Awww!

A boy and his stuffed toy monkey are reunited.

“the public prosecutor on this case is from the Green Scorpions”

Legal trouble for South Africa's Mengele of the monkeys.

“can be isolated from anyone at any age during a visit to the dentist”

The specific therapeutic potential of dental pulp stem cells and the broader potential for adult stem cells.

“working with gibbons is notoriously hard”

"Floppy" feet of gibbons may teach us how our ape-like ancestors walked, Liverpudlian scientist claims.

“I was on the brink of a breakthrough”

South Africa's Dr. Moreau-wannabe speaks out.

“following them up vigorously”

Stolen Cotswold Wildlife Park monkeys returned safely, investigation ongoing.

Stay alive, don't buy Chinese!

Cobra Electronics Recalls Children’s Two-Way Radios with Rechargeable Batteries Due to Chemical Burn Hazard; Sold Exclusively in Toys “R” Us Stores

and

JA-RU Recalls Toy Trains Due To Choking Hazard

“about three-hundred pounds per animal”

Denver Zoo powers the zoo, in part, with composted waste.

“several cases of monkey menace”

New Delhi court system menaced by monkeys.

Be glad you're here

"We know we cannot catch all monkeys, so it is better we tell people to accept them and co-exist" -- Indian ranger responsible for catching and safely removing monkeys.

“see something abnormal before it becomes an epidemic”

"the majority of emerging pathogens in the world are coming from wildlife"

“a highly unusual crime”

Monkeynappers strike UK's Cotswold Wildlife Park, make off with two female monkeys.

“Hallelujah - at last”

Obama will feed the hungry with yummy human embryos that would otherwise go to waste.

“I was the one who leaked those things”

and proud of it, via a commentor at Ann Althouse.

Update: False alarm.

“highly sensitive and explosive”

Hundreds of monkeys seize a petrochemical plant at Vadodara, India.

“a backyard stem cell research experiment”

Not really a mad scientist, just nuts.

“on a war footing”

Three-year-old boy falls to his death attempting to flee attacking monkeys in Lucknow, India.

Stay alive, don't buy Chinese!

Claire's Recalls Children's Metal Necklaces Due to Risk of Lead Exposure

Stay alive, don't buy Chinese!

Toy Xylophones Recalled by King Import Warehouse Due to Violation of Lead Paint Standard

and

OKK Trading Recalls Toy TVs Due to Violation of Lead Paint Standard

“explaining it was a Halloween prank”

Pervert with mannequin made from a gorilla costume arrested in Norwalk CT.

“smallest monkey in the world”

The dry part of the UK's Lakes Aquarium welcomes twin pygmy marmoset babies.

Goodbye, JJ

Silver-back western lowland gorilla at AR's Little Rock Zoo dies of apparent heart disease. Necropsy to follow.

On a personal note, I don't much enjoy reading "was living with congestive heart failure".

Stay alive, don't buy Chinese!

Homelite Consumer Products Announce Recall to Repair Chain Saws Due to Chain Brake Failure

“so she can be treated by veterinarians”

Gigi, 36-year-old gorilla at Boston's Franklin Park Zoo, taken off exhibit to undergo treatment for poor digestion.