“Tigers start eating meat when they're three months old”

Indonesian zoo plays host to playful pals infant tiger twins and infant orangutan pair: “it will have to end soon“.

Recipe for orangutan with Rijsttafel  omitted.

“Zambrono and Tol”

Twin cotton-top tamarins born at Britain's Marwell Zoo.

“what a memorable visit”

The Senator and the gorillas.

“threw them at the crowd”

Bill the chimpanzee, elderly chimpanzee at California's Sequoia Park Zoo, keeps dung-flinging aim in practice with zoo-supplied snowballs.

“bit and scratched a kindergarten pupil”

Students at Singapore's German European School mugged by macaques.

“a scientific adviser to Great Ape Trust of Iowa”

Iowa State University anthropology professor claims to document chimpanzees using spears in hunting.

“unscrupulous persons had been disturbing the monkeys”

Local people enlisted to protect animals at Ghana's Boabeng-Fiema Monkey sanctuary.

“a pattern across Asia”

Singapore to take steps against monkeys.

“prosecution denied having any hand in the presence of the monkey”

Delhi monkey proves no respecter of the law.

“this beautiful Brazilian monkey”

The Philadelphia Zoo unveils a new baby golden lion tamarin. Standards of beauty differ.

Lophocebus albigena

New monkey species announced in Uganda quickly followed by announcement of its endangered status.

Waiter!

Two dead monkeys found afloat in water tank at New Delhi's All India Institute of Medical Sciences Cardio-Neuro Centre. Puts me right off my Cup-a-Soup!

Update: This story says “did not have any dead monkey in it” so maybe it was too good to be true.

“looks like bear's hind paw”

Bigfoot believers climb on Spotsylvania apelike foot story a day late and a dollar short.

“diseases, pathogens and deleterious substances”

Fate of 300 monkeys captured by the Delhi Government to be decided by Delhi High Court, India's Supremes say.

“an ape that craves public attention”

Little Joe, Boston's now escape-proofed gorilla to go back on display. Nothing can go wrong!

Monkeys smarter than keepers!

The Los Angeles Zoo paid $4,500 to an expert in the ancient Chinese art of feng shui.

“this is different”

Coming soon to a zoo near you: animal sex shows for Valentine's Day. Would have wowed Caligula, I bet.

“about the size of cantaloupes”

Ancient chimpanzees tool-users, scientists speculate.

One-legged monkey sought

Foot found in VA landfill described as “apelike”.

Without a monkey

A stake in the ground, presumably of interest to no one but me: TOS 2.0 was very good to me last night. I had to work, so all I could do was buy and hold for two episodes (The Immunity Syndrome and A Piece of the Action) without even an adjustment after reading EC results before WC ran. I chose to play very conservative, and, after reading the episodes at Memory Alpha I bought all the UHU I could. Best investment I could have made: CHP was fractionally higher but started at a higher price, so I couldn't have started with as much.
272k earned 624k and rank went up from #141 to #43. A useless endeavor, I know, but amusing, and well worth the (lack absence of) price.

“it's our heritage”

Hartlepool Monkey statue called for.

“Coming to the rescue of the monkeys”

Court in New Delhi insists on letting monkeys be monkeys. Don't stand too close.

“to live in a monkey enclosure”

Contestants at zoo in China vie to survive “the lack of freedom the animals have”.

“they engage in a lot of sexual behavior”

Iowa's Blank Park Zoo to host Valentine's Day dinner / educational lecture on monkey mating.

“It screeched bloody murder”

Unlike smoke alarms, a helper monkey requires no battery.

“He never even visited the island...”

"Monkeyfishing" fraudster confesses all. New York Times, not so much.

“things couldn’t be going better”

Asha, gorilla at Colorado's Cheyenne Mountain Zoo welcomes a birth.

“Setsubun”

Gorillas at Tokyo zoo pelted with roast soya beans for good luck.

Such a strange flower

Jane Goodall, florist.

“promises to save people from simian terror”

Partisan monkeys to influence Indian state assembly elections.

“died in 1958 of intestinal parasites”

The animals at St. Louis Zoo are old and getting older. (Which is good, when they stop getting older, then you have cause to worry.)

A dud vasectomy!

40-year-old chimpanzee gives birth in Chinp Haven shocker, despite apparent absence of fertile males.

The are Some Things Man was Not Meant to Know

Experiments on monkeys at the Medical University of Ohio violated protocols, says Stop Animal Exploitation Now, ad-hoc AR loons.

The Fix is In

Bears to win the Superbowl, says Oregon prognosticator, Inji the orangutan.