"there are limits"

Impressionable young minds protected from Boondocks.

"test it for fingerprints"

Vet from Great Ape Trust of Iowa removes arrow from wildlife refuge buffalo.

"in the open among monkeys and snakes"

I don't know the fine details of Welsh customs, but I'm thinking that Mr Watts, 37, of Portskewett, near Chepstow would benefit from a boot to the ass.

"ropes between the artificial trees"

Japanese zoos seek to remedy plummeting attendance, revenue.

"the Ebola virus and Salmonella"

Pet monkeys banned in New York. Also bears and other wild animals.

Tsunami

Disaster relief info.

"a chimpanzee wearing a red wadded jacket"

Lets strive together to dress up animals!

"This is very interesting"

Surprisingly few tsunami deaths of wildlife, wildlife officials, says Sri Lanka wildlife official.

Letters, we get letters

Animal Behavior Management Alliance Conference in Houston, in April.

"It wasn't my imagination or anything"

Swamp ape sighting brings attention, ridicule.

"Then it was decided to kill the monkey"

California woman tells of tsunami survival, monkey menace.

"If I'd had my way, we would have just outright banned them"

Mandatory registration of chimpanzees, gorillas, other exotics, in Minnesota.

"an enormous number of mutations"

Human brains exceptional, researchers say.

"It is a nice healthy baby"

41-year-old Siamang gives birth at UK's South Lakes Wild Animal Park.

"That gorilla that sang was pretty weird"

Gift card for unwanted Christmas present raffle in Minnesota.

"if they're anything like our primate cousins"

How far monkey vocalizations carry. Also, sitzpinkel very big in Japan.

"conservationists are at their wits’ end"

Species added to third annual "sky is falling" list.

"he wouldn't leave me alone for the rest of the day"

Maine man, usually busy studying gorillas in Uganda, escorts Somalian refugees to US.

"three monkeys, a goat and two black bears"

Miami-Dade County hopes to have a entertainment enterprise zone surround their Metrozoo .

"I learned a lot about the aging process"

What we can learn from monkeys.

"we are happy that the most dangerous member has been captured"

Monkey gangleader caught in Sultanpur, India.

"Word started to spread about the closing earlier this month"

Wildlife Conservation Society to shut Wildlife Survival Center on Georgia's St. Catherines Island.

Update: Bronx Zoo has a role in this, too.

"A large monkey called the drill"

Philadelphia professor makes annual three-week trip to Africa to save monkeys.

"a Francois Langur monkey"

Monkey briefly escapes San Diego Zoo.

Update: He's either named Chieh or Chien. In either case, he's in good condition.

Shake-up at the top

Three members of Zoo Nebraska board resign.

"there are far more palaeontologists than fossil specimens"

Evidence for many prehistoric human species weak, says Australian prof.

"the world’s smallest tree-dwelling mammals"

Lemur at Scotland's Camperdown Park didn't need rescued, turned out.

"Lahoris will roam freely with wild and dangerous animals"

Pakistan plans for Wildlife Park near Lahore, with Jurassic Park-type drive-through, opening by the end of 2005.

"wake up to the deep-throated roars of howler monkeys"

Nicaragua's OK now, say travel agents.

"lakhs of rupees have been spent"

India to relocate Delhi monkeys again, further away this time.

"special enclosures for fruitbats and monkeys"

Well, I still don't want a pet reptile.

"searching for more orangutans"

Final necropsy on Indah, Great Ape Trust of Iowa orangutan, shows perforated bladder.

"chattering monkeys have a field day"

Cattlemen vs. sugar farmers in Kenya.

"a miniature Bigfoot-type creature"

Not-so-bigfoot prints said to be found in Belize.

"We also know of a gentleman who has a monkey"

Golden Valley, MN won't budge: no pet pot-bellied pigs.

"he was prepared to plead guilty"

Ya big tease!

"a rich and exotic menagerie"

Scientists go spelunking in Borneo, find subterranean world of things that crawl and scuttle, including world's largest cockroach.

"chimpanzee family treated to pine cones filled with yoghurt"

Christmas at Australia's Taronga Zoo and at Beijing Zoo.

"exploited by being forced to perform tricks for tourists"

Koh Kong Safari World, in Cambodia, implicated in orangutan smuggling, kickboxing. No apparent relation to Safari World in Thailand.

"culminating a 16-year effort"

Energy.

"racing to create the first cloned monkey"

Genetic Savings and Clone sells cloned pet cat for $50k.

"Gorilla World houses seven gorillas"

When in San Francisco, find time to visit the zoo.

"she disagrees with the fine"

Dallas agrees to pay $10k fine to USDA for gorilla zoo escape in March.

"gorilla biscuits and monkey chow"

You've gotta know what you're doing to feed animals at the zoo.

"using monkeys to form his image"

Jejune, derivative.

Update: without nuance.

"the Ebola curse"

Residents of Lengue-Lengue hoping for return of Gorilla gorilla.

KARYL B. SWARTZ

It doesn't say it's a resume.

"a possible source of the exotic Newcastle disease"

Undocumented avians returned to Mexico.

"more than 2,000 cans of spray paint, cameras, videos, an ape costume and other graffiti paraphernalia"

Arrest made in Baltimore APES graffiti vandalism.

"how and when human speech evolved"

The Diana monkey (Cercopithecus diana) can make all sorts of noises, scientists find.

"feeding them intoxicated bananas"

Rwandan police arrest four, recover kidnapped mountain gorilla.

"areas around the temples would not be covered"

Spit on the street, feed the monkeys, pay a fine, in Shimla, India.

"It's animal rights lunacy, and Wayne is king of it"

Humane Society of the United States gets new CEO, plans to out-loon PETA.

"modern humans fundamentally differ from apes"

Primate FAQ, from the Times of India.

"the way the animal perceives its world"

New Zealand mandates new requirements for circuses, zoos that keep animals.

Update: Minister of Agriculture complains that the new regulations haven't outright banned circuses from having animals.

"Monkey Elimination Committee"

Villagers in Assam claim to be overwhelmed with monkeys crossing the border from Bangladesh.

"nobody cares about protecting the peasants who live here"

Slash-and-burn farmers in Madagascar suffer from new government restrictions. Eco-tourists still awaited.

"regular doses of vitamins and tonics to increase their stamina"

Pressure to procreate among chimpanzees at India's Delhi Zoo.

"a two-year ban"

Former mayor of Beaufort, S.C., guilty of illegally importing wild monkeys.

"her latest conservation role"

Celebrity Rula Lenska visits UK's Port Lympne Wild Animal Park to be seen "mucking out" the gorilla house.

Update: more.

"the true magic of the holiday season"

Father Christmas to visit chimpanzees and gorillas at Northern Ireland's Belfast Zoo.

"He's an extremely personable animal"

OJ, gorilla stud who's been a dud, moves to San Francisco Zoo, which makes plans to rename him. And show him gorilla porn, I expect.

Don't tell Frank J.!

266 ex-research chimpanzees to move to Florida.

"it was noisy and it smelled"

Remembering Ham & Enos, 1961 suborbital monkeys, both of them survival types.

"no signs of trauma ... no breaks, contusions or bites"

Jumoke, 8-week-old chimpanzee at Maryland Zoo in Baltimore, dead of undermined causes. (Link requires registration, I'll fix that if another source runs the story (not gonna happen, apparently), bugmenot has the userid/password.)

Update: An earlier version, without registration, prior to the necropsy results.

"part of a breeding program"

Fresh meat at the Great Ape House at D.C.'s National Zoo.

"I realized science was not how I was going to make a contribution to these animals"

Largesse was, as it happens.

"the persistent lobbying of animal rights groups"

Villagers no longer ritually slaughter monkey in manhood ceremony. Effect on manhood not specified in the article.

"They can look at nature in context"

Long lead times must drive editors nuts.

"He’s one of the oldest chimps in captivity"

Bill will be the last chimpanzee at California's Sequoia Park Zoo, says his keeper.

"leaving monkeys and other exotic animals alone"

Monkeys biting college students cruel to monkeys, say PETA loons.

"rock-wielding monkeys"

Scientists confirm, soon monkeys will learn to crack the human skull to feast on the sweet,sweet goo inside.

"and one cackling monkey"

No animal hoarding here, nope.

"an embodiment of strength"

Indian villagers to build temple to electrocuted monkey.

"we think they are better off where they are"

Owners of Thailand's Safari World to be charged with orangutan smuggling.

"the final straw for the forest department"

Lucknow, India to collect and relocate menacing monkeys. Lucknow's neighbors soon to plan reciprocation.

"he could move in by next summer"

Groundbreaking for new enclosure for Honolulu Zoo's Rusti the orangutan today.

"roughly imitating Groucho Marx's walk"

People love and hate Bigfoot, says University of Florida anthropologist. No great clamor expected for DVD release of this.

Up to no good

I shall have bad dreams tonight.

"We are worried they might infect people with a dangerous disease"

Local urchins cash in when live monkeys are abandoned at Dar es Salaam dump.

"Macaca arunachalensis"

Destructive new species apparently discovered in India.

"Eastern philosophy is very much in tune with nature"

The Queen of the Chimps is chatted with.

"the evolutionary origins of language"

One small step closer to siren song of obedient servant monkeys.

Update: And another.

"book that weighs almost as much as a coffee table itself"

Think of me whenever you see discarded film packaging in an otherwise pristine wilderness.

"They were not space monkeys"

Hawaii's Panaewa Rainforest Zoo gets confiscated squirrel monkey.

"and even an ape’s hand"

Swiss Customs finds the darndest things.

"I came to New York to express myself"

Mosaic of George W. Bush made from chimpanzee pictures poorly received.

"Monkeys broke the solar lights"

Poor conditions at India's Nandankanan Zoo dangerous, say disgruntled workers.

"they're having a great time"

Ohio State University Chimpanzee Research Center holds open house, Christmas party for the chimps.

"angry protests from animal rights groups"

December 13, 1958: the loss of Gordo, suborbital monkey.

"A few days later, the baby monkey died"

Good intentions inadequate for animal rescue, say Indian wildlife authorities.

"a gene responsible for semen viscosity"

Doing science isn't always glamorous.

"Rugg says "Bigfoot" is both singular and plural"

California man opens Bigfoot museum.

"we prefer consonant sounds to dissonant ones"

Monkeys don't care one way or the other about music, scientists say.

"monkeys rioted every time I approached them"

Maybe you'll return to Managua
You could go unnoticed in such a place

"Season's Treatings"

Kansas's Sedgwick County Zoo to to distribute non-denominational treats to animals today.

"some of the animals are large and some will eat you"

Dr. Farahh Murrani, Baghdad Zoo veterinarian, on internship at Colorado's Cheyenne Mountain Zoo.

"arrangements until now considered impossible at zoos"

Japan's Asahiyama Zoo has great success.

"not the first such instance"

Monkeys rampage in Chandigarh, India.

"you don't want to break into a house and find a gorilla there"

New York set to adopt nation's strictest exotic animal ban.

'“I’ll do the monkey,” she said'

Students from Indiana's Wayne State University meet some animal professionals.

"a resolution in support of the petition"

Adventures in ape breeding, &c.

"PETA fired off a letter to the show’s host"

PETA loons outraged to hear gibbon on the radio. MonkeyWatch suggested response: send this nut the bug letter.

"Brunei Proboscis Monkey Tour"

Travel agents from Bangkok on a little junket.

"We haven't had any loose monkeys"

Courts to decide fate of Maryland's Frisky's Wildlife and Primate Sanctuary.

"more skilled at understanding cause and effect than previously thought"

Tool use observed in wild capuchin monkeys.

"corvids may be even cleverer than we think"

Crows as smart as nonhuman primates, say Cambridge psychologists.

"all the while in complete control of the situation"

As a city boy, I wouldn't have guessed that rodeo needed a novelty act.

First as tragedy, then as farce?

Well, this came as a surprise!

"get Monkey Day recognized as a national holiday"

According to a local free weekly, today is Monkey Day.

Update: Well, I stand corrected. A commentor has correctly pointed out that it's not Monkey Day until Tuesday. Please stand by until then.

"No one can possibly care for that many animals by themselves"

Iowa woman in animal hoarding case.

"I'm just a data-entry monkey"

Not only the advance team that Dave Wissing at Hedgehog Report pointed to, apparently rather a lot of folks claim they're owed money by the Democrats, etc.

"chronic kidney disease"

Sibu, a 48-year-old Sumatran orangutan, euthanized at Georgia's Atlanta Zoo.

"bonobos are in crisis"

The randy bonobo, nature's stupid spoiled whore, faces a rough future, say Swiss conservationists.

"Reaching out to the broader public is always a good thing"

Indianapolis Zoo to establish $100k conservation prize. An "Oscar-like" gala is envisioned.

"a power vacuum in gorilla culture can lead to violence"

Brookfield Zoo keepers hope for peaceful transition of gorilla power following death of Babs, dominant female.

Update: They saved Babs's eggs.

Further update: Zoo denies reports that it's preparing a Lenin's Tomb-type display.

"No monkey will ever call me ‘mother’!"

I wonder what else she's going to be this sniffy about.

"herpes B, pox viruses, measles, hepatitis, tuberculosis, salmonella, ringworm, and other bacterial, viral, and fungal infections"

Every chimp a killer, to hear PETA loons tell it.

"I hope that young Singaporean biologists will find out more"

She's at it again. Or still.

"the prevalence of tsetse fly in the park"

Kenya's Ruma National Park under political attack.

Some government departments sought assistance from the International Atomic Energy Agency to eradicate tsetse flies from the area using Sterile Insect Technique (SIT).

Their request was approved and work started in 2001. But the project has since backfired.

Stupid IAEA.

"traditional toys given to children to spin during Chanukah"

Monkeys at Israel's Kfar Daniel open their unspun dreidels.

No monkey content

New England Republican looking for guest bloggers.

Goodbye, Babs

Brookfield Zoo, in Illinois, loses 30-year-old western lowland gorilla to kidney failure.

"it works out at a lower cost in the end"

Counting orangutan tree-top nests by helicopter.

"I have faith in African communities"

It reads like bringing ownership to African wildlife conservation. With so many UN ties, though, I'm not sure I believe it.

"Sam was fired into space in the US 'Little Joe' rocket"

Remembering 1959's Sam, the Space Monkey.

"played coos and screams recorded in the wild"

Scientist plays monkey tapes for monkeys, scans their brains, says he might know what they're thinking.

"better development to the blastocyst stage"

Scientists edge one step closer to successful monkey cloning.

...and the far-flung Isles of Langerhans

Mixed success with pig-to-rhesus monkey islet transplants, a diabetes treatment without insulin injection.

"Tonga is 26 games above .500"

Texas sports broadcaster finds success, publicity, by letting gibbon make picks.

"an adult male silverback"

Washington's Woodland Park Zoo adds third life-size gorilla statue.

"I could fail miserably and don't know what I would do then"

Green monkeys of Barbados out of work.

"Give me two months and $100 and I'll give you a chimp"

Chimps to order in Congo.

"Britain is keener on orangutans and chimps than other nations"

Tiger-fanciers stuff ballot box.

"handedness is associated with the KNOB"

Yerkes researchers can now interpret chimpanzee MRI scans and determine handedness. Or, you know, toss it a banana and see which hand it grabs it with.

"met or exceeded all standards"

$5K grant to Hawaii's Pacific Primate Sanctuary.

"to prevent them from extinction"

Philippine officials release two tarsiers into the wild. Story doesn't make it clear why they weren't fine where they originally were.

"This is part of the Species Survival Plan"

Santa Barbara Zoo borrows two extremely goofy-looking spectacled langurs from the Houston Zoo.

"We’ve been really excited all summer"

New Mexico's Rio Grande Zoo opens "Adventure Africa" exhibit with drum circle.

"I, for one, am never going back there if things don’t improve"

Malaysia's National Zoo is panned.

"local hunters recently spent a month hunting one monkey for a Chinese client"

Two legs, four legs, or six, if it moves they're hunting it, in Uganda.

"this is all very exciting news for the male"

UK college students contemplate sexual promiscuity in females.

"for the coming cool season"

Primates at Thai zoos get gunny-sack blankets. Not enough to go around for poor people, though.

"Jumoke"

Maryland Zoo plays mean trick on defenseless little baby chimp.

"panthers, elephants, gorillas, peacocks and gazelles"

"Road rage" originator eager for another 15 minutes of fame.

"to clean up a beach"

Queen of the Chimps Jane Goodall to coerce manual labor from Taiwanese youth.

"concern for public safety"

Campbell county, KY, bans gorillas, rhinoceroses, shrews, and other proven-dangerous animals.

"Famed anthropologist Jane Goodall" (sic)

Queen of the Chimps Jane Goodall due for honorary degree at Rutgers.

"English or American?"

A bartender's guide to the Monkey Gland Cocktail.

Is it just me

Or is everybody hating Wikipedia this year?

Watch out for that first step…it’s a doozy!

Great Falls Tribune reports on bowhunter's treestand tumble.

"he has exhibited his works every now and then since the 1970s"

Desmond Morris, author of The Naked Ape, has paintings exhibited in London.

"There are some girls whose eyes are like ‘monkeys'"

Yemenis aghast at cosmetic contact lenses.

No monkey content

They said: "Man accused of sex assault in court"

They meant: "Man accused in court of sex assault"

"I am protesting against the loss of independence in art"

Vandal misses statue of Michael Jackson and his monkey Bubbles in Berlin blood-spraying attack.

"may slow cell to cell transfer of HIV"

Colorado's Evolutionary Genomics say they know why chimpanzees don't get AIDS, and are at work to make that knowledge practical.

"while swinging down from a treetop"

"Gibbon-style wedding ceremony in Thailand."

"home to the world’s only viable population of the red-banded langur"

Big plans being made for Malaysia's Maludam National Park.

"10 people were bitten by lions, tigers, wolves and monkeys at the zoo"

Canada's GuZoo Animal Farm, "animal welfare group," in dispute.

"monkeys aren't the easiest animals to live with"

Motley Fool pooh-poohs simian investment advisers.

"chimps learn to use computers"

There are, it seems, many ways to pass the time in "one of the nation’s most interesting and surprising visitor destinations," Columbus, Ohio.

"there will be one sure loser in the conflict: Mother Nature"

Rwandan / Congolese military clash, mountain gorillas hardest hit.

"the mangrove swamps are famous for their proboscis monkeys"

Borneo's bat caves, encrusted with the guano of uncounted centuries, offend the nose of the delicate traveller. Bats seem to like it, though.

"we will be putting in security sensors"

Cotton-top tamarin stolen from Australia's Mogo Zoo.

"there are no monkey heads in my fridge"

Surgeon who performed monkey head transplant proposes Rosey Grier / Ray Milland redux.

"I'm sitting there in a tepid pool of my own filth"

Columnist likens healthful showers to "an angry gorilla being hosed down in his cage by the zookeeper" and advocates the tub.

Chimeras

Mice, it seems, "have also been altered to produce viable monkey sperm." Which I shouldn't have thought was in particularly short supply.

"I can never remember wanting to do anything else"

Great Ape Trust of Iowa: a boy and his orangutan. More here.

"A lot of work goes into caring for the chimps"

"Save the Chimps" to fill Florida with cast-off chimpanzees.

"no specific date for the return of the primates or the number of orangutans"

Thailand to send ex-Safari World orangutans to Indonesia. Probably. Eventually.

"potential for hazards to the public and zookeepers"

Continuing problems at Binghamton, NY's Ross Park Zoo do not bode well for upcoming AZA accreditation.

"Do not be alarmed if monkeys get in the bath with you"

Hot-tubbing snow monkeys in Japan.

"a strong Rwandan Defense Force presence"

You can go see the gorillas at Rwanda's Parc National des Volcans secure in the knowledge that most tourists survive without incident.

"gave out free goodies"

Santa Claus makes early visit to Indiana's Potawatomi Zoo.

"the animal was unprovoked"

Chimp bites man at Indiana Shrine circus.

"the threatened primate species from Madagascar"

Lemur-breeding at Australia's Perth Zoo.

"a nice bundle of cash for the festive season"

Monkey-poaching in South Africa.

"only a matter of time"

Sky to fall, says WHO. And me, without a flu shot!

"17th annual ZooLights festival"

Oregon Zoo to display more than 500,000 lights illuminating life-sized animal silhouettes, for some entirely secular, never quite spelled-out, reason.

"The zoo now has seven gorillas"

Gorilla born at Franklin Park Zoo in Massachusetts. See if they can keep this one inside.

"Ethical tourism is a hot topic"

World Society for the Protection of Animals makes lists to ensure grim, dour charter trips where you're guaranteed not to be amused by animals. But you'll be virtuously bored, so you've got that going for you.

Which is nice.

"giving away single-use cameras to the first 800 children"

Yakini, gorilla at Australia's Melbourne Zoo, about to turn five.

"urging Australians to come see it for themselves"

Taking in the orangutans of Indonesia's Semenggoh Rehabilitation Centre park and other local sights.

"I'm stuck with it"

Artist Lisa Roet specializes in apes.

If there are no eyes, avoid all contact

"Do not make direct eye contact with monkeys," and other useful tips for avoiding monkey menace in India.

"simian road kills are a growing worry"

Hong Kong begins posting "mind-the-monkey" traffic signs as road kills gain attention.

"what a reward to see the gorillas"

UK artist visits Uganda to see wildlife, draw pictures.

"high doses of the drug damaged some monkey brains"

Amgen withdraws experimental drug for Parkinson's disease. Patients, liability lawyers, upset.

"All present day Santa Gertrudis descend from Monkey"

Call me a city boy, but I didn't even know there was a Cattle Breed of the Week.

"Researchers attacked a monkey with AIDS virus"

China claims positive results in early AIDS vaccine testing.

"there are some 50 being held in captivity"

The government's seizing monkeys in Jambi, Thailand.

"The baby boy was born November Eleventh"

Gorilla born at New Mexico's Rio Grande Zoo, another expected.

"a tense stand-off"

Monkey menace in Hong Kong.

"more than 500 animal species on hand"

San Diego Zoo is very big.

"generally, all the stories are sad"

South African woman a foster mother to monkeys.

"hordes of monkeys were descending the camp, agitating the elephants"

Indian authorities shocked to discover freeloading humans, monkeys, abusing elephant rejuvenation camp at Madhumalai Wildlife Sanctuary.

"deprived of their freedom for a few cheap tricks"

PETA moonbats trivialize slavery.

"a permit to kill monkeys and neelgai can be attained easily"

No more Mr. Nice Guy in India.

"ten-ton gorilla of the elections business"

Diebold bids to out-do Halliburton as the company they love to hate.

"never, ever write about Dan Rather"

Link, Alpaca Burger Forum, link like the wind!

"It affects their behavior"

Squirrel monkey removed from home by Hawaiian SWAT team to do time at Panaewa Rainforest Zoo.

"two young bonnet macaques monkey learning to cope with new situations"

India hosts "Vatavaran Travels 2004", a environment and wildlife film festival, this weekend.

"It is heart-warming"

Johannesburg Zoo gets a new gorilla.

"invading gorillas; erupting geysers and some very mischievous hippos"

Let's strive with increased vigor to visit Hong Kong Disneyland!

Seen in June and July, this story comes around again

Dhaka Zoo, in Bangladesh, has plenty of geriatric animals, and not so much in the way of geriatric veterinary facilities.

"the team is continuing to study these mysteries"

Grauer's Scrub-warbler and Papyrus Yellow Warbler said to benefit from Mountain Gorilla conservation in Rwanda's Volcano National Park.

"I do what comes naturally"

Connecticut man trains monkey for Inherit the Wind production.

"bomb-throwing radicalism is a political non-starter"

"Armed resistance" wins Grist Magazine poll for favorite green four-year-plan. Magazine suggests it's a poor idea, not out of principle, but for practical reasons.

Grist? Puts me in mind of Argosy, True, Real, the less smutty competition for what Lileks has been cataloging in Stagworld.

Strengthen the good

The C.S. Lewis Bilingual Gymnaziumin in Bratislava, Slovakia.

"when a llama wanders into the executive lunchroom"

I think this is about more than budget cuts that might hurt Buffalo Zoo.

"Vervet monkeys are not pets"

South African wildlife rehab center tries to convince people not to keep pet monkeys.

"they're very smooth, soft animals"

Meet, eat alligators at Florida's Gatorama. They've also got bobcats, tortoises, monkeys, and raccoons, for looking at. Not for eating.

"Animals also have feelings"

PETA and associated busybodies in India plan to be outraged by visit of Russian State Circus Company.

"We think inflammation is very important"

Thousands of rhesus monkeys and pigtail macaques help celebrate Tulane National Primate Research Center's 40th anniversary.

"I wanted to handle a tiger cub"

World Association of Zoos and Aquariums presents Heini Hediger Award.

Silent America

Bill Whittle begins selling his book.

"expects the zoo to downsize"

A less breathless view of problems at India's Alipore Zoological Gardens.

"earth-friendly shopping, worm composting, waste reduction and more"

Elementary school students to parrot their indoctrination at Oregon Museum of Science and Industry.

"includes a stuffed orangutan"

It's not every day that a Google News search for monkeys turns up a story titled "The stiletto killer and the anal probe".

"some kinds of squirrels and foxes will also be prohibited"

Japan to ban three species of non-Japanese monkeys to prevent miscegenation.

"he planned to engage in a dialogue with the zoo's staff and board"

Detroit Zoo director craves attention.

"There are really no limits"

Singapore goes mad for weddings at the zoo.

"Do you ever watch those wildlife programmes on TV?"

It's not bushmeat. Perish the thought.

"if you are a chicken, a mouse, or a monkey"

Haven't we seen this story before? Why yes, I knew it looked familiar.

"a nuisance for motorists"

Monkeys on India's Kalka-Simla national highway to be relocated. Monkeys not currently on India's Kalka-Simla national highway making their own plans to relocate.

"shown to cause cancer in laboratory animals"

Simian virus 40 in zoo workers cause for concern.

"It all started with pigs on a treadmill"

Ann Althouse sends along a pointer to this story, thus giving me an excuse to post one that I've been avoiding!

Apologies: Triticale sent the pointer to Ann Althouse, I didn't pay attention. Bad me.

"Ethiopia has a very colorful story"

Controversy about Houston Museum of Natural Science plan to exhibit Australopithecus afarensis "Lucy" skeleton.

"an excavation site near Barcelona"

Missing link found in Spain. Not news, it seems. Not a bit.

"gorilla hearts are much like human organs"

Kwashi, a gorilla at Tennessee's Knoxville Zoo, diagnosed with infiltrative cardiomyopathy.

"He’s a good chimp"

Peeping chimp terrorizes Palm Springs woman.

"ape-level material culture"

Young chimpanzees out-think young humans, University of St Andrews scientists say.

"they found a gorilla suit in his car"

Baltimore police arrest APES graffitist.

It won't take long

Just go look.

"a great way to add some variety"

Pumpkins stomped at D.C.'s National Zoo.

"continued vigilance is the key"

CBS News calls for more worrying about flu.

"I did it because I needed cash for entertainment"

Japanese monkey researcher turns bad.

"it's very sad to see the children miss out"

Australia's Whyalla wildlife and reptile sanctuary needs someone new to run the place.

"mutilated one"

Baby Colobus monkey goes on display at Denver Zoo.

"The $100 million's in the budget"

Health and Human Services wants $100 million to modernize production of flu vaccine.

"It has no meaningful contribution towards conservation"

India's Zoological Gardens, Alipore harming animals, says "People for Animals".

"Sepilok is getting overcrowded"

Wall-to-wall orangutans at Malaysia's Sepilok rehabilitation center.

"at it again"

UK man to walk backwards, in gorilla suit, for some undisclosed distance to attract attention, raise funds for Severn Hospice.

"I’m not saying that chimpanzees have morality"

Fxpert on chimpanzee behavior Frans de Waal inducted into the National Academy of Sciences.

"I want to say 'Hi' to him"

Nicholas Cage said to be interested by yetis.

Schockley could have stuck with physics

And Dawkins with evolution.

"you come to Costa Rica to get away from Americans"

Sunday Times travel writer doesn't feel at home anymore, at home.

"also protect the lives of the monkeys in the historical sanctuary"

Fiema and Boabeng in Ghana now have fire brigade.

"no major incidents of animal mistreatment"

Scotland's Argyll Wildlife Park on double secret probation.

"get a photo, a certificate and a monkey toy"

Just in time for Christmas, the British Union for the Abolition of Vivisection offers adopt-a-macaque without the muss and fuss of actually having one around.

"the monkeys aren't all fun"

Lop Buri, Thailand in the midst of annual monkey festival.

"Korea has a long way to go"

Queen of the Chimps Jane Goodall pesters Koreans.

"contrary to the Highway Traffic Act"

New trial for Canadian teenager convicted of in-line skating down the street dressed as a gorilla.

"To blame this on the union is totally ridiculous"

Binghamton, NY's Ross Park Zoo has reason to be concerned about upcoming AZA accreditation visit.

"an image is already seared into her memory"

Florida woman reports "skunk ape" sighting.

"trophies of monkeys and baboons"

Trophy-hunter's collection saved from housefire by NY firefighters.

"Chimpanzees expected to arrive some time this winter"

Louisiana, mational, politicos officiate at dedication of first buildings at Chimp Haven.

"a year from now, this whole area will resonate with the hoots of contented chimpanzees"

"it may be hard for people to imagine"

Monkey Village at Arizona's Phoenix Zoo lets you mingle with monkeys, if that's your idea of a good time.

"several isolated outbreaks of the deadly Ebola virus"

Adventure holidays in Gabon.

"cows taking a bath"

Taipei City Zoo reopens “Children's Zoo.”

"abandon contraceptive-advice programmes and ban all acne treatments"

British scientist theorizes bifrontal copulation a human habit since we first evolved.

"attendance 9 percent higher than anticipated"

Minnesota Zoo hopes that things'll work out better next year.

Goodbye, Indah

Orangutan at Iowa's Great Ape Trust euthanized.

"Animal control crews subdued the ape and returned to her cage"

Baboon makes a break for freedom at Houston's Bush Intercontinental Airport.

"European fleets off the coast of West Africa"

Give a man a fish, and you've fed him for day. Don't give him one, he's off for bushmeat surprise.

"the third animal death there this month"

Endangered Sulawesi macaque, Ripley, crushed to death in freak accident at Washington, DC's National Zoo.

"supporting children around the world in their desire to make a difference"

Will Rogers never met Queen of the Chimps Jane Goodall.

"the government needs a show of force"

Brazil issues strongly-worded memos against illegal land use.

"a lively baby monkey"

Oakland Zoo gets around to mentioning the birth of a spider monkey, Minikey.

"animals cannot perform magic"

Witchcraft feared after monkey sighting in South Africa.

So, uh, be aware of orangutans

Apparently it's International Orangutan Awareness Week. At least in San Diego.

"The apes are not exactly apes"

Ernest and the Barbary Apes of Gibraltar. Thanks to Erik.

"very few Americans who do not regard America as special"

Sky is falling, says Canadian historian.

"Ideal for butt busting activities"

Via Side Salad, anti-monkey butt powder.

"There are worse jobs than working for an MP"

Recess Monkey points out this bit of primate research, and a disturbing associated image.

"shrieks of joy from the young ones"

As bright an idea as bringing them to the planetarium.

"ancient relatives of monkeys, apes, and humans"

The Indri, the world’s largest lemur.

"It sort of sets the thermostat for the body"

Big-boned orangutan at Chicago's Brookfield Zoo successfully treated for hypo-thyroid condition.

"survived the fall and is now receiving treatment"

Escaped pet monkey in Youngstown, OH has quite an adventure.

Over at small dead animals

Baboons and hyenas.

"after last spring's failure"

Quaqmire alert!

"protesters dressed as giant tampons"

Syracusan's beware: PETA plans to spoil lunchtime traffic Nov. 10.

"two wonderful new naturalistic primate exhibits"

Scotland's Edinburgh Zoo receives £1.6 million government grant for new primate research center

"has already bitten more than 10 people"

India's Mulund Colony, Shastrinagar tramatized by monkey attacks.

"They feel sadness"

The Korea Times has Queen of the Chimps Jane Goodall call for "the immediate discontinuation of animal tests".

"if we suspect a foul play, we will catch hold of the criminal"

Dozens of dead monkeys in Meerut, India.

"the timing of the exercise was not good"

Protecting their fields from monkeys keeps Ugandan women away from tetanus vaccination.

"clerks recognized his voice"

Gorilla mask no protection for Wyoming video store robber.

"prisoner uniforms and monkey masks"

PETA freaks to put on a show.

"a much-needed prologue"

The Hunt for the Dawn Monkey.

"mainly living in South America"

Pictures of squirrel monkeys from China.

"Why do humans and chimpanzees have such large testes?"

Many questions are asked, but few man chew.

Adventures in translation

How best to explain that "Rescue center tends to smuggle wild animals" means something quite different than "Rescue center tends to smuggled wild animals"?

"Don't anybody talk about giant pandas"

Fresno's Chaffee Zoo to be run by non-governmental non-profit.

"This is the best kept secret up here"

California's Cinema Safari Zoo takes the animals for a walk through town.

"the youth said he did not have any other wildlife"

Singapore's The New Paper helps catch seller of endangered animals.

"You can’t do anything to advertise your business, basically"

Granbury, Texas goes all bolshie and requires permits for giant gorilla-shaped advertising balloons.

"this year, the zoo was the main theme"

New Jarsey's Cohanzick Zoo celebrates 70^th anniversary with art show. Not one of your big anniversaries, usually, the 70^th.

"He is my toubab friend from England"

Gambian paper prints instructive little tale: let the English guy do it, then all will be well.

"a proactive measure"

Ohio's Campbell County considers banning exotic pets, just in case.

"We will go on an awareness campaign next year"

Malaysian group demands that Kinabatangan Wildlife Sanctuary be recognized as a wildlife sanctuary.

"celebrating a new arrival today"

New baby chimpanzee at Baltimore Zoo.

"tourism is complex"

Forget "beach or mountain," go jungle.

"Bush meat trade threatens Liberia's biodiversity"

Seeing it spelled that way is unsettling.

"She always remembers the zoo as being a happy place"

Australia's Melbourne Zoo attempts to lure customers back. Also, there's something called a tree kangaroo, so watch the skies.

"Get into your monkey selves"

High school drama class hasn't changed any.

"and old cardboard boxes"

Gorillas at UK's Paignton Zoo form rugby league.

"a day-long meeting"

Primate researchers plan wild weekend at UC Riverside.

"people encroached and polluted the reserve"

Friends of the Nation to protect Ghana's Takoradi Monkey Hill Forest.

"the monkey would have won"

And now the screaming starts.

"I coulda been a contender"

"I coulda been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am, let's face it."

(and I'm entitled to one gloat)

Goodbye, Bobbie

Bobbie, 50-year-old chimp at New Zealand's Auckland Zoo, dead of apparent heart failure.

"more than 2,000 protected animals were confiscated"

Animal Concerns Research and Education Society comes out against exotic pets in Singapore.

"Sam was born in 1948"

Meet Sam, an aging chimp at Sacramento Zoo.

"daring enough to enter houses to steal food"

Sleep disturbed in Borneo by "screaming monkeys on rooftops".

"occasional attacks by monkeys are not uncommon at temples"

Hundreds of children in India's Assam state attacked by temple monkeys.

Update: AP copy editor alert: Monkeys not Monkey's.

"home to a monkey species listed as endangered"

UNESCO declares two Vietnam sites World Biosphere Reserves. Pauly Shore arrival imminent.

"Nobody has been able to conduct a full survey in a decade"

Counting gorillas in Democratic Republic of Congo.

"George and John"

Twin marmosets named for Presidential candidates at Iowa's Blank Park Zoo.

"The villagers decided to have a party"

"My auntie was married to a hobbit!" says Indonesian villager.

Off-topic

Go, read. Via the zoo.

"disasterous"

Fish cited as Oregon's "800 pound gorilla".

"the cashier said the suspect had a feminine voice"

Woman in gorilla mask (or gorilla in woman suit) fails to rob Ohio supermarket.

"she likes to moon the other gibbons"

Funds to be raised for gibbons in California.

"residents of the locality are angry"

Newspaper charges Indian authorities doing nothing to help monkey injured in wild dog attack.

dactylographic

"Infinite monkey theorem" at wikipedia.

"farmers can be relocated into areas that have been destroyed"

Big plans from the Queen of the Chimpanzees.

"Feed the monkeys and don't touch anything"

Maybe it's funny in Bulgarian.

"clams believed to be a big part of their diets"

Canadian bigfoot enthusiasts offer safari service, tall tales.

"included a comical pretend animal-surgery show"

You missed "Zoo Boo" at California's Charles Paddock Zoo.

"white-faced monkeys and constrictors as big around as two-liter soda bottles"

Costa Rican vacation spots that attract no crowds.

"the son of Carl Djerassi, the inventor of the birth control pill"

Koko -- The Talking Gorilla film-maker comes out against oil in "Oil on Ice"

"possession of a restricted animal"

Fines issued in Hawaii monkey case.

"The facility attempts to avoid breeding"

Failed vasectomy or vasectomies at California's Wildlife WayStation yields bouncing 4-pound chimpanzee, another birth due in December.

"Pew, it smells"

Hayride of Horror, other amusements, at Alabama's Montgomery Zoo.

"sister and brother orangutans"

Orangutans getting used to new digs at the Great Ape Trust of Iowa.

"Japanese studies on rats and monkeys"

Stress and missing teeth found to impair memory, say scientists.

"unique perspectives on the human-chimpanzee relationship"

Montreal chimpanzee lady comes to New York.

"She didn't even know they were coming"

Monkey, hundreds of others rescued from animal shelter gone wrong.

"embodies the spirit of Will Rogers"

Queen of the Chimps Jane Goodall to get another award.

"a hairless, dark-skinned dwarf species"

Australian scientists report a human species other than H. sapiens in Indonesia as recently as 12,000 years ago.

Update: Homo floresiensis

"any compensation should be reduced by 100%"

Nuanced, I tell ya, hella nuanced.

"Do the criminals have secret political backing?"

Star of Mysore nears hysteria on animal deaths at Zoo story.

Laden, or unladen?

How fast do monkeys fly - in Ramayana?

Didn't even know he was sick

RIP, John Peel.

Monkey Jungle Park and Research Center gets strict

When they say "Where the humans are caged and the monkeys run wild," they're not kidding.

"The Bengal tiger is an endangered specie"

Soon after the death of Tinku, Pakistan's Lahore Zoo loses a tiger to "sharp bones."

"This is a proud moment for all of Atlanta"

Turner Broadcasting System gives $5 million to Zoo Atlanta. Announcement of all-animal/reality-based programming for 2005 to follow.

more structured time

Boo at the Zoo in Kansas City.

"tool-use among non-human large primates"

Can labor unions be far behind?

"a big step in the right direction"

Robotic monkeys: threat or menace?

"Over time, it is crippling"

Insecticide bad for monkeys, say scientists.

"exotic hoof stock"

Californians can take part in an "Wild Animal Encounter" next month.

"How many people here want to make the world a better place?"

Queen of the Chimps Jane Goodall begins aiming a little higher, calls it peace.

"a retro-virus which is the same family"

Prof says bushmeat tasty but potentially deadly. Or at least scary-sounding.

"how to choose a ripe coconut"

Monkeys put to work in Southeast Asian coconut harvest.

"There is no reason for us to tell two monkeys apart"

Before six months of age, babies can distinguish monkeys fron one another. After that, a monkey's a monkey.

"her family tree now reaches around the globe"

Betsy, elderly gorilla at Australia's Melbourne Zoo, making good recovery from infection, kidney problems.

"police say the animal has still not been caught"

India's atomic power, research, centers menaced by leopard.

"We have not confirmed this"

Sky may be falling, says International Primatological Society.

"Feeding the monkeys is fun"

Lopburi, Thailand, dependant on monkeys and tourists who want to see them.

"at least part of the technique can be reproduced"

Monkey embryos cloned.

"The best enrichment for any primate is another primate"

Good living for research chimps between assignments in San Antonio.

"from gorilla and whale"

Godzilla to get star on Hollywood Walk of Fame. Footprints not to scale.

"Don't forget the geese November 2nd"

Smug Monkey catches someone French-looking passing miracles.

"for breaches of animal security regulations"

Australia's Mareeba Wild Animal Park fined $10,000.

"along with 25 cats, all named Sam"

Massachusetts Audubon Visual Arts Center subjected to "Andy Warhol: Endangered Species".

"I don't see it as a terrible blight on humanity"

Artist grew close to orangutans in Borneo.

"Monkey dance"

Indonesian group teaches Namibians how to Kecak dance.

"The situation has been like this for several years"

China's Guangzhou Zoo full of elderly animals nobody really wants to see.

"Hitler had a soft spot for King Kong"

The Book of Useless Information is blurbed.

"school lawyers denied all the charges"

University of California, San Francisco, says they didn't abuse animals.

"this virus is not known to cause disease"

Canadian public health officials note that simian foamy virus can be transmitted through blood transfusion, needle stick, bites.

"zoo workers will be able to wave a wand over Babec's chest"

Birmingham Zoo's Babec, gorilla with pacemaker, scheduled to be back on exhibit today.

"the esteemed Hutchison Award"

Scientist accepts award, works hard to get name in paper. This makes two days in a row. How long can he keep the streak going?

"The public will then vote on the five finalists"

North Carolina's N.C. Zoo soliciting lion names from kids.

Nice and gloomy!

Malaysia's Sematan mangrove swamp just crawling with life!

"ecosystem health of the national forests"

Scientists demand that only they be allowed in national forests, insist that they're not helping Queen of the Chimps Jane Goodall breed race of transnational attack apes.

"about 1,600 monkeys having been trapped"

Monkey-catchers in Shimla, India estimated to have caught, relocated, about 3/4 the population.

"because she is not a Canadian"

Queen of the chimps Jane Goodall urges Canadian PM to outlaw hurting animal's feelings.

"it's always a learning experience around here"

Lots of baby animals at the Zoo in Forest Park, in Massachusetts.

"National Geographic's Emerging Explorers Program"

Winners of $10,000 grants from National Geographic.

"researchers say more study is needed"

Soy doesn't suppress women's fertility, says researcher at Wake Forest Baptist Medical Center. China apparently unsurprised.

"He serves as a trustee of the Dian Fossey Gorilla Fund"

Oracle-Ape connection blown wide open.

"an angry mob filed with hate and distrust"

Another Democrat™ goes all wobbly.

"The gorillas are here"

Giving the gorilla tourists a story to take home from Rwanda's Volcanoes National Park.

"Lowell got plenty of gifts"

Rochester NY's Seneca Park Zoo celebrates 20th birthday of Lowell the orangutan.

"Zoo to unveil new $5 million nature area for children"

I wouldn't have guessed it was legal.

"like a couple of monkeys from the zoo came in and went crazy"

Meals on Wheels vandalized in Pennsylvania.

"Angry protestors dressed as giant tampons"

Your friends at PETA, at it again.

BrainGate

Advances in spam!

"it is a very big step forward"

Positive results seen with malaria vaccine.

"animal trials on monkey and mice would follow soon"

Indian scientists work on turning Epstein-Barr Virus into a cure for hemophilia, other genetic blood disorders.

"emotions often ran high"

CITES conference wrapup: Enemies, baseless promises, made.

"Police say that they have no leads"

Interpol to investigate British zoo monkey-thefts.

"appears to prevent infection of cells in a test tube"

First gin-soaked raisins for gin-soaked arthritis, now cranberries for herpes.

"sometimes, you just have to ignore reality"

The Bear goes all Farscape.

"I like the monkeys the best"

Free days for locals at Florida's Caribbean Gardens: The Zoo in Naples.

Update: Ah.

"they have to find out what happened"

Undisclosed problems on set of Peter Jackson's King Kong.

"the company will receive about $3 million from the federal government this year"

Government institutes give $1.1 million grant to expand stategic monkey reserve.

"Fetish priest in-charge of the Daworo Shrine"

Call for better roads, more wells, and "a place of convenience" at Ghana's Boabeng/Fiema.

"our `family' is finally together again"

California couple who raised chimpanzee get visitation rights.

"Lahore Zoo did not have a veterinary hospital"

If this somewhat breathless report is correct, Tinku, a 4-year old chimpanzee at Pakistan's Lahore Zoo has died, and the zoo is to blame.

Eeyew, dead fish!

Lagmonkey notices something disturbing.

"it's easy to get it wrong"

Stuttgart's Wilhelmina Zoo finds that Berlin Zoo can't tell a baby girl gorilla from a baby boy gorilla. Berlin Zoo vet denies all responsibility.

"She returned on her own to the exhibit within ten minutes"

Orangutan at Fresno's Chaffee Zoo escapes, doesn't care for the outside.

Thanks, Dick!

Seniors standing in supermarket parking lots for hours to get subsidized flu vaccine, no problem. Alternatives: "price gouging", "profiteering."

"murder by food poisoning"

More animal deaths at India's Mysore Zoo.

MonkeyWatch wants to know: any staff hired this year with experience at Sao Paolo Zoo?

"Babec is eating and drinking better, and his attitude is getting back to normal"

Gorilla at Alabama's Birmingham Zoo recuperating well after Sept. 25 pacemaker implantation.

"cultural imperialism"

Japan takes umbrage at CITES conference for not granting it permission to sell more whales (and whale byproducts.)

"Should we eat shark as much as we can?"

Some questions China's 21stcentury.com.cn says were raised at CITES conference.

"My concern is for their safety"

Thai government to move ex-Safari World orangutans to secure undisclosed location.

"after digging a 120-metre-long tunnel from a nearby house"

Brazilian cash company robbed by thieves in gorilla, clown, masks.

"Waco philanthropists, Jim and Nell Hawkins"

Texas's Cameron Park Zoo gets $1 million for new facilities for orangutans and komodo dragons.

LIP-waffler!

Scientist find the decision-making part of the brain: "the lateral intraparietal (LIP) area".

"The diocese has never changed in its antimining positions"

Monkey-Eating Eagle threatened by copper and gold mining in the Phillipines.

"Native Americans used to make decisions based on how it would affect seven generations ahead"

Queen of the chimps Jane Goodall spreads it pretty thick in this Newsweek interview.

"special rapid response squad armed with tracker dogs and tranquiliser darts"

Gorilla-suited Austrian arrested for frightening elderly hikers.

"The price of monkeys has risen with the drop in supply"

Via Infinite Monkeys, DARPA anti-biowarfare research suffers from monkey shortage!

"the development of countermeasures to biological agents, many scientists say, rests largely on the shoulders of the monkey"

"John Rowland has no specific employment plans"

Disgraced ex-Governor John Roland regains state license to sell insurance.

"a 340-pound gorilla named Jabari leaped across a moat and wall"

USDA to fine Dallas $10,000 for gorilla zoo escape in March.

"All the other lots have been donated by local people and businesses"

UK auction to include work by Ding Ding, an orangutan at Canada's Toronto Zoo.

"No animals were injured during the storms"

Florida's Genesis Zoo and Wildlife Rescue in a bad way, following damage from hurricanes.

"the Caddo Critter, the Haskell Rascal and the Hawley Him"

Texas Bigfoot Conference, Oct. 22-23, Jefferson, Texas

"unaware the meat they bought came from wild animals"

Report says a lot of bushmeat is sold in Nairobi, not all of it openly.

"any wild animals they're harboring must be registered annually"

First they register the guns, now this!

"Previously, scientists thought it impossible for the smallpox virus to sicken any species other than humans"

Scientists infect monkeys with smallpox, learn more about how it infects.

"I think I missed one on the road"

Google founders Sergey Brin and Larry Page unable to find monkeys in Hyderabad, India.

Nor is it as easy as it might seem.

"on all platforms in time for the film's release"

Video game announced as part of Peter Jackson King Kong merchandising.

"the species could become extinct in as little as 20 years"

Increasing clamor for sending the ex-Safari World orangutans to Indonesia. DNA test results still pending.

modelled on the orang-utan rehabilitation centres of Borneo and Malaysia"

Plans afoot to replace orangutan enclosure, other facilities, at Australia's Melbourne Zoo.

"We see the light at the end of the tunnel"

California's Wildlife Waystation putting things in order.

"We're having a good time"

Iowa biting monkey returned to owner.

"The town council had been ready to foot half the bill"

Statue of sasquatch with a case of beer erected in Canadian town.

your choice of breakfast food has been stifled by 'the man'

The Flying Space Monkey Chronicles has some advice for bloggers.

"a Rhesus monkey with a portion of its skull cut away"

Who's on your mailing list for "National Primate Liberation Week"?

Update: Keeping with the title, how about World Food Day?

"Wildlife trade is one of the greatest threats faced by animals around the world"

Queen of the chimps Jane Goodall writes an op ed.

"Bangori is a baby Western Lowland Gorilla"

Raising baby animals at Texas's Gladys Porter Zoo.

"the scientific quest to trace man’s prehistoric evolution from the apes"

How come "Peking Man" is still in Wade-Giles instead of officially-approved pinyin?

"in snooker and pool halls all over the world"

Greenpeace still all worked up about wood.

"There is no way we will stop mining here"

Illegal gold mining in Ghaha threatens wildlife, pretty much everything else.

"could be one of the strongest painkillers ever produced"

Rattlesnake-based painkiller in early tests.

"highly endangered tigers and great apes"

CITES delegates in Thailand take a field trip.

"the ethereal beauty she still possesses"

I think somebody's got a little crush on the Queen of the Chimps.

"make a normal meal then throw a can of soup over it"

Via Bacon and Eh's, a Brtish site, The World's Worst Food, a tribute site to Lileks's Gallery of Regrettable Food, with British cookbooks!

No monkeys harmed

Libertarian presidential candidate Michael Badnarik and his Green counterpart David Cobb accused of conspiring to steal Ralph Nader's looniest candidate title.

"monkeys who "monkeyed" around with Kohlrieser"

Illinois school-children, parents, amused by auditorium animal act.

"It is a part of our reward system every six weeks," Crawford explained.

"the project used timber from the rainforests of central Africa"

Stop the presses! Greenpeace is outraged about some doors.

"we have been living with monkeys (since) time immemorial"

Oh, the surprise, she's insane! New Nobel Peace Prize winner Wangari Maathai says AIDS "a deliberately created biological agent."

Update: began hearing voices after police beating.

You can live on it, but it tastes like shit

Studies in monkeys suggest soy-based diet beneficial for premenopausal women.

"a throat sac that can inflate to the size of their heads"

Illegal tree-felling threatens Sumatrans gibbons.

"expecting her second child"

Kiki, a gorilla at Boston's Franklin Park Zoo, expected to deliver in the next month or so. I don't think "child" is apt, though.

"those who eat brains of squirrel, deer, monkey and rabbit"

Reasons for Michigan squirrels drowning themselves like apocryphal lemmings remain uncertain.

Blame Ashcroft! Blogspot!

Scott at pinkmonkeybird is struggling with a corrupt template, and waiting for blogspot support folks to straighten him out. He wants his readers to know he'll be back.

Update: just bumping this up top where it'll be easily seen.

He's back!

"we'll concentrate on orangutans instead"

New Zealand chimps transferred from Auckland Zoo to Hamilton Zoo.

"they broke into a ward and flung glucose bottles around"

India's AIIMS hospital latest victim of monkey menace, calling in the langurs.

"animals often spent the day sleeping"

Japan's Chiba Zoological Park to offer visitors exciting pictures of often-boring animals.

"there's no doubt Kriz cares for her animals"

Authorities change their tune, seek to permanently seize Iowa biting monkey.

"Wielding a monkey brain in a jar"

Artists look at medical research, while scientists kibitz. "Wielding a monkey brain in a jar" compells me to post. Or the monkey brain does.

"and the previous drowning of two crocodiles"

India's Chamarajendra Zoological Park ponders whether recent spate of animal deaths might indicate a problem.

"because they have more money to spend"

No bushmeat for oiiil!

"about 10,000 monkeys are classified as threats to people or the environment and exterminated each year"

Japanese villagers seek permission to decimate world's northernmost monkey population.

"the animals may have been infected by visitors"

Monkey dead of tuberculosis at Japan's Tennoji Zoo, others feared infected.

MonkeyWatch Public Service Announcement

Mount St. Helens VolcanoCam back on the air!

"The harpy's diet includes monkeys, sloths, parrots and certain reptiles"

Monkey-eating eagle making a comeback in the Phillipines.

"a new species of great primate"

Primatologist affiliated with the Jane Goodall Institute apparently has video and feces of uncertain great ape. Or unexpected hybrid. Or something.

Update: found a link to the story that doesn't require a userid/password.

"In special memory of the 38 rhesus monkeys"

China erects 16-ton granite memorial to 38 monkeys killed by Chinese SARS research. Nothing for people killed by Chinese SARS denials.

"the macaques repeatedly wreak havoc to farmland"

Government-protected monkey menace in Taiwan.

"which resembles the cowl worn by Capuchin monks"

MA's "the Zoo in Forest Park" has many fall promotions planned.

"six tons of Cavendish bananas"

Monkey invasion of London imminent.

MonkeyWatch Unsolicited Health Advice

Don't dawdle, get your flu shot.

"orangutan with a fetish for cleaning"

(Mind your volume control, movie clip with sound automatically plays at the link.) Tokyo Zoo just had to push this story while the CITES conference is being held in Thailand. Activists, ho!

"Matt was suddenly hit on the head by a hard-thrown fig"

If you're looking for a place to look at monkeys, try Costa Rica, says Christian Science Monitor. CIA World Factbook says "a Central American success story." So, why not? If you're looking for monkeys.

"ramin, a hardwood in high demand for furniture production"

If only we'd all agree to squat on dirt floors, the orangutans, other great apes, would be fine, says U.N.'s Great Apes Survival Project.

"and, yes, Mojo the monkey"

Roundy-rounder Tony Stewart has too damned many pets.

"Kids today have head lice that evolved on two species of cave men"

Scientists compare and contrast lice and other parasites as a means of learning relatedness of human populations.

"the United States government is marshalling every resource it can to control the American people"

Plans to study 1918's deadly flu strain in vitro part of US plan for biowarfare, world domination, charges lefty with a runny nose.

"the United States government is marshalling every resource it can to control the American people"

Plans to revive 1918's deadly flu strain part of US plan for biowarfare, world domination, charges lefty with a runny nose.

"It is a gift from the Government of India to them"

Tajikstan to India: send more monkeys!

"Parade magazine called it one of the nation's ten worst zoos"

Peoria's Glen Oak Zoo looking for $15 million.

"the decision would be reviewed to decide whether to appeal"

Blumenthal may continue spending tax dollars to oppose freedom of speech for CT state cops.

MonkeyWatch Free Advice:

Next time, use both hands. And a map.

"Activists dressed in orang-utan costumes paraded"

You can't tell the activists from the birthday party clowns without a scorecard.

"martini-and-wine tasting party and help save the orangutans"

Who says irony is dead?

"may also prove conducive to the local eco-tourism industry"

Residents of monkey-infested neighborhoods in Brunei call for relocating monkeys to "sanctuary."

"When he exhales, he leaves fish guts and fish scales on you"

Houston Zoo now available as a wedding venue.

"proboscis monkeys are loveable, the long-tailed macaques are less so"

Travel writer Mark Rowe no fan of macaques. Giant flowers that stink like rotting meat, them he's OK with.

"the red howler monkey, a resident of the forest, is the host of the yellow fever virus"

Trinidad & Tabago opens hunting season. Snakes, pre-whacked and otherwise, off-limits.

"Stay out of the woods, you idiot"

Old-school East Coast Bigfooters disrespected by mainstream West Coast sasquatchers.

"OBL holding up a copy of 2004 TV Guide Fall Season edition"

Chock full of screedy goodness.

1. Declare Victory.2. Big Parade.

3. Run Like Hell.

"Around one corner, two chimpanzees screech for attention"

Egyptians pay to see real sons of pigs and monkeys.

"Warning: Photos include depictions of butchered animals"

"Photographer Fights African Poaching With Grisly Pictures"

"Sinta, an Orangutan, holds and kisses her baby in Pandaan zoo"

A quick look at Southern-hemisphere zoos.

"there were suggestions of trapping the stray dogs and releasing them in the forest"

India's Shimla, pleased with results of relocating menacing monkeys to someone else's neighborhood, has big plans for stray dogs.

"In fact, it is impossible to determine"

Canadian man in gorilla suit may or may not have spoken English.

"there are some canines too"

India's Guru Gobind Singh Indraprastha University: student population – 1,700; monkey population – 1,500.

Just call him "Snakemaster"

Animal Planet hires geek:

In 1986, he spent 107 days in a glass cage with 36 deadly snakes to stimulate awareness on the plight of the African gorilla.

'Cause when you see snakes, you think gorillas.

"6,000 pounds of monkey chow"

The groceries, at Utah's Hogle Zoo.

A little gorilla you can call your own

Boston's Franklin Park Zoo can't find anyone to take Little Joe, erstwhile escapee.