“birthday party”

Maria, a native of Sacramento, lives with her parents Pablo and Amelia at the chimpanzee enclosure at the Land Park zoo.

“mother and baby are in good health”

They're breeding like bonobos at Ohio's Columbus Zoo and Aquarium.

“You don't want to transfuse the wrong type of blood”

Veterinarians at Chicago's Lincoln Park Zoo build a library on great ape hematology and an international registry to record the blood types of captive apes on four continents.

“EXOTIC ANIMALS DON'T MAKE GOOD PETS”

Illicitly-kept Marmoset in Michigan reported in a very shouty article.

“It's pretty amazing”

Baby orangutans get around the clock attention from keepers at Fresno's Chaffee Zoo.

“Refuting the animal-loving NGOs allegations”

India's Himachal Kheti Bachhao Sangarsh Samiti political party makes fighting monkey menace a priority.

“he throws presents to the chimps”

Santa visits the chimps of Loxahatchee, FL.

“ancient hominins”

Prehistoric Siberians interbred with "Denisovan" ape-men, Max Planck Institute Professor Svante Paabo says.

“a decline in topeng monyet”

Fashions change; Indonesia's performing monkeys hardest hit.

“eventually captured”

A pet capuchin monkey in Miami-Dade bit a local during an escape attempt.

“leaves the visitors with bad memories”

India's Himachal Pradesh state the site of battles between farmers, monkeys, and PETA loons.

“severed her spinal cord”

Guilty plea after weird "medical experiments" performed on vervet monkey in South African amateur lab.

“even though he has undergone treatment”

Chimpanzee at India's Mysore Zoo is disturbingly bald due to alopecia.

“for use in British labs”

Britain needs monkeys!

And you thought claddists were bad...

A new statistical model using DNA evidence claims that our evolutionary line diverged from that of chimpanzees 8 million years ago.

“booked all the rooms in ITC Maurya”

Commandos, snipers, and monkey catchers to be deployed to protect Barack Obama from New Delhi monkeys during his November jaunt.

“there is no cause for alarm at this time”

Scientist at California National Primate Research Center in Davis appears to have contracted a never-before identified strain of adenovirus from a colony of Titi monkeys. Authorities downplay need for immediate panic.

“a whole lot of monkey business”

Australia's Perth Zoo keeping busy with five primate births over the last six weeks.

“after it terrorized a neighborhood”

All ends well in Kansas City 300-pound chimpanzee escape.

“I call it ‘bug-eye gorilla’”

Bigfoot believers are seen, dimly, in Oregon.

Goodbye, Jilloch

A 34-year-old chimpanzee at Britain's Twycross Zoo died last weekend, after suffering heart failure.

“tetanus and rabies injections”

BBC cameraman at India's Commonwealth Games treated at hospital after attack by langur monkey, there to protect against attack by local stray bonnet monkeys.

“a special diet including protein shakes”

Charlie the chimp, at South Africa's Mangaung zoo, famous smoking chimpanzee, dies of old age at age 52.

More.

Only Nixon could go to China. Look what he brought back!

"S T U F F" and Paw Wall Hooks Recalled By Midwest-CBK Due to Violation of Lead Paint Standard

“severely ridiculed preparation”

Trained langur monkeys to be deployed at the 2010 Commonwealth Games in Delhi to protect visitors from marauding Common Indian Bonnet monkeys.

“chimpanzee rock-throwing draws large crowds”

Jerusalem's Tisch Family Zoological Gardens builds a reinforced glass barrier to protect visitors from chimpanzee-thrown stones.

“and a few months to live”

Retirement to Florida's Jungle Friends habitat for Benjamin, a bitey monkey of Catskill, N.Y.

Only Nixon could go to China. Look what he brought back!

Rechargeable Spotlights Recalled by Innovage Due to Burn Hazard

Black & Decker Recalls Random Orbit Sanders Due to Laceration Hazard

Jo-Ann Fabric and Craft Stores Recalls Roll-Up Blinds due to Risk of Strangulation

Fun Stuff Recalls Children's Toys Due to Choking Hazard

Godfrey Daniel!

The hills over San Antonio TX are roamed by a spider monkey, escaped from Primarily Primates Sanctuary.

You go deaf if they work, you catch on fire if not

Subwoofer Speakers Recalled by Paradigm Electronics Due to Fire Hazard

“It was later released”

Out-of-control monkey in India brought under control "using tranquilizing rubber bullets."

Only Nixon could go to China. Look what he brought back!

Toshiba Recalls T Series Notebook Computers Due to Burn Hazard

Next week: calendar reform!

Proposed constitutional amendment - Conservation of legislation: every new law passed must repeal an old one.

Dateline: Tropical Switzerland

A group of barbary apes who escaped from a Switzerland zoo establish breeding colony. And "experts say global warming and higher winter temperatures mean the primates will survive the winter."

“squirrels and monkeys are endemic”

Monkeypox: threat or menace?

Only Nixon could go to China. Look what he brought back!

Slow Cookers Recalled by Sensio Due to Fire Hazard; Sold Exclusively at Kohl's Department Stores

32-Inch Sharp LCD-TVs Recalled Due to Risk of Injury

“bitten by a monkey who wasn't properly guarded”

Lawsuit brought in case of Catskill Bed & Breakface.

“the monkey is winning”

Mishima Japan begins publishing a daily "biting monkey" alert as nearly 60 people bitten by rampaging macaque since mid-August.

Only Nixon could go to China. Look what he brought back!

Television Wall Mounts Recalled by Milestone AV Technologies Due to Injury Hazard

Magnetic Maze Boards Recalled by Lakeshore Learning Materials Due to Choking, Intestinal and Aspiration Hazards

“six-year-old male chimpanzee Johnny has arrived”

Ukraine's Kyiv Zoo, where two female chimpanzees live, gets their first male chimp.

Only Nixon could go to China. Look what he brought back!

Williams-Sonoma Recalls Baby Bottle Warmers Due to Burn Hazard

Char-Broil Recalls Vertical Gas Smokers Due to Injury Hazard

“the dog finally gave up and scampered away”

Mother monkey rescues her injured offspring in New Delhi.

Only Nixon could go to China. Look what he brought back!

Lan Enterprises Recalls Zooper Tango Double Strollers Due to Collapse Hazard

White Tiger Outdoor Folding Chairs Recalled Due to Fall Hazard

“greatest wildlife encounter on offer to travellers”

Lonely Planet Awards gives first prize (prizes are notional only) to a tour of mountain gorillas in Uganda.

Don't forget your shots!

Chinese Goods in the Nursery!

P. Graham Dunn Recalls Toy Rattles Due to Choking Hazard

Circus World Recalls Wireless Video Baby Monitors Due to Overheating Hazard

“saw what appeared to be teeth marks”

Three endangered ringtail lemurs to be euthanized as rabies precaution in Fort Edward, NY.

Update: Good news - no rabies. Bad news- the whole euthanasia thing.

“It's asking a lot of the animal”

Special techniques are used to help treat cardiopathy in Harvey, a 5-foot-tall, 150-pound chimpanzee at the Toledo Zoo.

“planning to return the animal to the wild”

Wild monkey caught in downtown Tokyo

Goodbye, Josh

20-year-old chimpanzee at Kansas City Zoo dies after some male chimps scuffled a day before.

"evidence of scientific misconduct"

Quality of science by Harvard Professor of Psychology, Organismic & Evolutionary Biology and Biological Anthropology Marc Hauser attacked by other scientists.

Goodbye, Juara

25-year-old male orangutan dies at St. Louis Zoo under anesthesia during routine physical.

Only Nixon could go to China. Look what he brought back!

Belle Vanity Benches Sold Exclusively at Tuesday Morning Stores Recalled By LaMont Limited

Additional Reports of Fires and Low Consumer Response Rate Prompt Reannouncement of Goldstar and Comfort-Aire Dehumidifier Recall

“trade it for a shiny red apple”

Gorilla-gaming.

“The monkeys were here before us”

"Height of cruelty" as monkeys poisoned in South Africa.

Only Nixon could go to China. Look what he brought back!

Fisher-Price Recalls Little People Play 'n Go Campsite™ Due to Choking Hazard

“teaching his offspring to dive for dinner”

Don't let monkeys watch Jacques Cousteau specials!

“the mother is not caring for it properly”

Trouble at the monkey-house at North Carolina Zoo as chimpanzee Maki proves to be an inattentive parent.

Only Nixon could go to China. Look what he brought back!

Atico International USA Recalls Bamboo Torches Due to Laceration Hazard

“ongoing monkey mayhem”

Mumbai monkeys injuring old ladies and stealing cellphones.

“fed a totally inappropriate diet”

UK marmoset is rescued from a diet of chocolate and marshmallows.

“It's just a cute little monkey on a tether”

Woman requires hospitalization after monkey attack in the Catskills

“so as not to trigger a hunt for them”

Lemurs who fled from their Austrian home in Salzburg's Hellbrunn zoo turn up in an area bar five days later.

“games involve rules”

Either GreenFudge.org is right and zoo gorillas play tag or these self-esteem majors can't recognize a round of grab-ass when they see it.

“she accidentally pressed the gas pedal”

Disabled driver drives into Nebraska City gift shop by hitting the wrong pedal while watching her helper monkey instead of the road.

“some patients naturally panicked and fled the hospital”

Four monkeys found dead in hospital’s overhead water tank in Agra, India.

Pepsi-capitalism

Horror of horrors: scienceblogs.com bloggers discover it's not the anarcho-syndicalist worker's collective they've assumed it was.

Update: Asylum chooses to henceforth be run by the inmates. Science!

“creating trouble for the residents”

Trouble-making monkey dies of electrocution after touching high tension wires in Gaushala Bazaar in India's Phagwara town.

Only Nixon could go to China. Look what he brought back!

Felt Bicycles Recalls Bicycles Due to Fall Hazard

“the smallest monkeys in the world”

Curraghs Wildlife Park in Ballaugh, on the Isle of Man, welcomes two pairs of pygmy marmosets. So, there's your vacation plans all made for you!

“had her throat slit after she was bound and gagged”

Ymke Warren, a British gorilla expert, reportedly has been murdered at her home in Cameroon.

“it seems questionable whether Sandar will survive”

Sandar, the sick little orangutan at Zoo Atlanta, continues to sicken.

Only Nixon could go to China. Look what he brought back!

Radio Systems Corporation Recalls Power Adapters Sold with PetSafe® Heated Wellness Sleepers Due to Fire Hazard

Children’s Jewelry Recalled by SmileMakers Due to High Levels of Cadmium

Southern Technologies Recalls Drill Presses Due to Shock Hazard

Edgy!

Wisconsin's New Zoo adds a snow monkey from New York to its snow monkey troop.

In other news: water is wet

Super Lightning Rocket Fireworks Recalled by Big Fireworks Due to Risk of Burn

Goodbye, Kimya

Kimya, the youngest gorilla at South Carolina's Riverbanks Zoo and Garden, was found dead Monday morning.

On my morning walk today...

Only Nixon could go to China. Look what he brought back!

Baby Walkers Recalled by Suntech Enterprises Due to Fall Hazard

“we don't have a wimpish bite at all”

C'mere ya big ape, I'll give you such a bite!

“to conquer her fear of monkeys”

Monkeys can smell fear, and it makes them bitey!

“they eat people’s faces off”

Why monkeys make terrible pets and bananas are perfect.

Buy Chinese in haste, repent at leisure

Regal Lager Recalls Infant Carriers Due to Fall Hazard

Target Recalls Children’s Belts Due to Violation of Lead Paint Standard

Only Nixon could go to China. Look what he brought back!

Crate and Barrel Recalls Succulent Plant-Shaped Candles in a Pot Due to Fire Hazard

“groups of Barbary Macaques are out of control”

Barbary apes make themselves a nuisance for Gibraltar hoteliers, guests.

He didn't know his own strength!

20-year-old silver back gorilla shuts down exhibit at Zoo Atlanta when he damages protective window charging at hated veterinarians.

“believed to be world first”

Chimpanzee in New Zealand's Wellington Zoo gets life-saving surgery for a bacterial ear infection

“they heal really well”

Memphis Zoo staffers feel their gorillas are getting comfortable with each other.

“It is premature to comment on this issue”

Officials of India's Pune Public Works Department eye monkeys as possible cause of untimely death of 35-year-old contractor killed when a boulder rolled down a section of the Katraj ghat.

Only Nixon could go to Beijing. Look what he brought back!

GE Recalls Front Load Washers Due to Fire and Shock Hazards

“there hadn't been a lemur escape in at least a decade”

Duke University's Lemur Center gets back their pair of ringtail lemurs who escaped across town to Cresset Christian Academy.

I blame Nixon

Bayside Furnishings Recalls to Repair Youth Beds Sold at Costco Due to Entrapment Hazard

“an enriching effect on animal behaviour”

Orangutans at the zoo find humans amusing, fascinating.

“You poor brute of a killer without a conscience, I'm wet with compassion”

Arizona's Pinal County Historical Society Museum features the craft works, including a sock monkey, of trunk murderer Winnie Ruth Judd.

“If she dropped a jar of oregano”

Service-monkeys A-OK with Vermint Fish and Wildlife Commissioner.

“he fancies a nibble”

Those wacky orangutans!

“two adult and two baby tamarins and four male pygmy marmosets”

Monkey-nappers strike Australia's Symbio Wildlife Park.

Update: Found

“participants learned how to fire off bottle rockets”

Japanese villagers train in using fireworks to drive off marauding monkeys.

They don't look very dangerous to me, frankly

Basketball-Shaped Chair and Ottoman Sets Recalled by Colleen Karis Designs Due to Violation of Lead Paint Standard; Sold at HomeGoods Stores

Buckyballs® High Powered Magnets Sets Recalled by Maxfield and Oberton Due to Violation of Federal Toy Standard

“a white-crowned mangabey and a sulawesi crested macaque”

Simian births noted at Irelands's Dublin Zoo

“talking to the Indonesian authorities”

Darwin Australia vexed by roaming mystery monkey.

“She marched to the beat of her own drum”

Sandy Herold, former owner of Connecticut chimpanzee that mauled Charla Nash, reportedly dead of a ruptured aortic aneurysm.

La-de-da ook-ook

Chimpanzees are social climbers, anthropologists say.

Bow first or apologize first?

In Bali, officials prepare for a visit this summer by Barack Obama. One concern is the monkeys that populate the sacred temple at Uluwatu. An official has suggested that the monkeys be bribed with large amounts of food in the days prior to Obama's visit.

Buy Chinese in haste, repent at leisure

HP Expands Recall of Notebook Computer Batteries Due to Fire Hazard

OK, in for a penny

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+
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“authorities believe the monkey has an owner”

Greenwich CT officials give up on search for mystery monkey who was or was not seen during town.

Buy Chinese in haste, repent at leisure

Primal Vantage Expands Recall of Plastic Tree Steps Due to Fall Hazard

Walmart Recalls General Electric® Coffee Makers Due to Fire Hazard

“He's funny like he's just like a real baby”

Special treatment brought in for sick little orangutan at Georgia's Zoo Atlanta.

Buy Chinese in haste, repent at leisure

Children's Deaths Prompt Recall of Toy Dart Gun Sets Sold Exclusively at Family Dollar Stores

Children's Giraffe Blanket Recalled by Rashti & Rashti Due to Choking Hazard; Sold Exclusively at Target Stores

“tourism activities have not been affected”

Cold weather blamed for four gorilla deaths in Rwanda.

Buy Chinese in haste, repent at leisure

Junk Food Clothing Co. Recalls Children's Hooded Sweatshirts with Drawstrings Due to Strangulation Hazard

“an extremely unusual incident”

A baboon caretaker at San Antonio's Southwest Foundation for Biomedical Research Center was hospitalized after being attacked by two of his charges.

Buy Chinese in haste, repent at leisure, Jean-Claude Killy

Rome Snowboards Recalls Bindings Due to Fall Hazard

Buy Chinese in haste, repent at leisure, American flyboy!

Remote-Controlled Helicopters Recalled by Imagine Nation Books Due to Fire and Burn Hazards

“about 120 zookeepers, zoo curators and conservationists”

Oklahoma City Zoo hosts the International Gorilla Workshop this week.

Buy Chinese in haste, repent at leisure

Claire's Recalls Children's Metal Charm Bracelets Due to High Levels of Cadmium

Buy Chinese in haste, repent at leisure

Conair Recalls BabylissPro Compact Hair Dryers Due to Laceration Hazard

Girls’ Vests with Drawstrings Recalled by MIM-PI USA Due to Strangulation Hazard

“a brief but public foray”

Texas zoo-goers, media, blush when proud mother Bonobo and random nearby male engage in vigorous bout of what bonobos are best known for, at Fort Worth Zoo.

Buy Chinese in haste, repent at leisure

Klean Kanteen Recalls Water Bottle Spouts Due to Choking Hazard

Bicycles Recalled by Nirve Sports Due to Fall Hazard

Buy Chinese in haste, repent at leisure, fashionplate!

JD Fine & Company Recalls Children's Hooded Sweatshirts with Drawstrings Due to Strangulation Hazard

“just won't be the same without him”

New Zealand's Natureland Zoo mourns the loss of Ricky The Monkey, a brain-injured capuchin, of a suspected heart attack.

“turning destructive when they reach sexual maturity”

Vermont woman suffering from multiple sclerosis gets permission from state Legislature for service monkey. If it works out badly, I'm sure taxpayers will be happy to, uh, pay.

Buy Chinese in haste, repent at leisure, ya geek!

Comarco Recalls Power Adapters for Laptops Due to Burn Hazard

Buy Chinese in haste, repent at exercise

ICON Health & Fitness Recalls Inversion Benches Due to Fall Hazard

Buy Chinese in haste, repent at leisure

Gogo Sports Recalls Children’s Hooded Sweatshirts with Drawstrings Due to Strangulation Hazard

Buy Chinese in haste, repent at leisure, pa rum pum pum pum

Step2® Recalls Basic Rhythms Drum™ Toys Due to Choking Hazard

“vacant windows have been loaned as art space”

Connecticut's Norwalk Arts Commission to hide failed local economy with Potemkin Public Art Installation.

Goodbye, Gordy

23-year-old male western lowland gorilla at Minnesota's Como Zoo dies suddenly and unexpectedly. Necropsy results are awaited.

"The zoo asks that in lieu of flowers, donations can be made to Como Friends."

Buy Chinese in haste, repent at leisure (this means you)

Low Return Rate and Additional Reports of Fires Prompt Re-announcement of Coby Electronics Portable DVD/CD/MP3 Player Recalls

“only 12 other crested capuchins living in U.S. zoos”

Rare crested capuchin born at California's Santa Ana Zoo.

“it was Vilson's second escape in two weeks”

A brief escape by Vilson the gibbon, at New Zealand's Wellington Zoo, ends satisfactorily. "The fact he's out again is frustrating, because it means he's far more intelligent than all of us ... Our job is to contain him and obviously at this stage we're not doing this."

“since wrestling a banana from Genta”

Japan's Mount Takasaki nature park notes the reign of Zoro, alpha male, now for a record 11 years and three months

“It was so much fun”

Florida's mystery monkey draws copycat imitators.

“they're going to kill me”

Death threats for trapper working to catch Florida's mystery monkey.

“it's now gone viral on the Internet”

Apparently I'm late to the story of a New Hampshire man in a gorilla suit pestering firefighters.

“ran away following a playground-like spat with other monkeys”

The backstory on the "missing UK monkey" from Tuesday.

Buy Chinese in haste, repent at leisure

Deux par Deux Minimome Recalls Children's Snowsuits and Coats with Drawstrings Due to Strangulation Hazard

“safely returned to the zoo”

Missing monkey in UK is missing no more.

“he is fighting for his life”

Baby orangutan at Zoo Atlanta feared to be failing to thrive.

“scooped mouthfuls of seed out of a bird feeder”

The story of Florida's mystery monkey continues.

“in return the country will be getting foreign exchange”

Uganda to export monkeys to Russia. How they'll be received isn't discussed.

“tried to re-claim his tiffin”

Softly softly catchee monkey, or else!

“this is such a rare event”

Ring-tailed lemur triplets born at UK's Beale Park.

Goodbye, Jessy

22-year-old female chimpanzee dies after fall at India's Alipore zoo.

“not going to hurt anybody or anything like that”

North West of England troubled by escaped Capuchin monkey.

Buy Chinese in haste, repent at leisure

Foria International Recalls Women’s Peacoats Due to Violation of Federal Flammability Standard

Update: Children's Hooded Jackets with Drawstrings Recalled by 5 Star Apparel Due to Strangulation Hazard

“I'm pumping blood all over”

Noah, the bitey service monkey from Chesapeake, Va, now somebody else's problem.

¡Cuidado! Simios!

Chicago's Brookfield Zoo opens their Ape Awareness program.

Buy Chinese in haste, repent at leisure

Gund Recalls to Replace Baby Books Due to Choking Hazard

Goodbye, Yeboah

Gorilla Yeboah dies at London Zoo after a heart attack. Results of a post-mortem examination are expected to be revealed in a few weeks. *

‘described her condition as “very delicate"&rsquo

Young female gorilla at Louisville Zoo continues to improve after the loss of part of her left leg in "a skirmish within the family group.”

Buy Chinese in haste, repent at leisure

Crate and Barrel Recalls Glass Water Bottles Due to Laceration Hazard

Chrome Shelving Recalled by King Long Metal Due to Injury Hazard; Sold Exclusively at Costco

Bauer Recalls Children's Hockey Sticks Due to Violation of Lead Paint Standard

“the body can easily be disposed of”

Outdoor Life readers discuss what guns to hunt the Florida mystery monkey with.

Buy Chinese in haste, repent at leisure

Howard Berger Recalls Extension Cords and Power Strips Due to Fire Hazard

Boys’ Vests and Hooded Jackets with Drawstrings Recalled by North-Sportif Due to Strangulation and Entanglement Hazards; Sold Exclusively at Burlington Coat Factory

Ardica Recalls Heated Jackets and Vests Due to Burn Hazard

“wait until someone snaps a photo of the monkey eating a baby bald eagle”

Florida's mystery monkey no joke to Keystone Kops outsmarted wildlife officials who can't catch him.

“this is not a simple little argument”

Orangutan-on-orangutan violence at the Milwaukee County Zoo.

More.

Casey Jones was an Engineer

Kentucky Department of Agriculture fines Louisville Zoo $37,000 for deficiencies in train ride that derailed at the Gorilla Forest exhibit in 2009, injuring 22 people. (No gorillas were harmed).

Buy Chinese in haste, repent at leisure

Girls’ Hooded Jackets with Drawstrings Recalled by Bubblegum USA Due to Strangulation Hazard; Sold Exclusively at Burlington Coat Factory

Girls’ Hooded Sweaters with Drawstrings Recalled by Children’s Apparel Network Due Strangulation Hazard

“we couldn't fool her in any way”

Plans made for 50th birthday celebration for Duchess, orangutan at Phoenix Zoo.

Worlds collide

I think they were afraid it might rub off

h/t Lileks tweet.

Buy Chinese in haste, repent at leisure

Do It Best Recalls Bicycle Bells Due to Violation of Lead Paint Standard

“there's been thousands of dollars already spent on this”

Florida's mystery monkey continues to be seen, not caught.

“took a bite out his hand”

Virginia man reminded monkeys make poor pets.

Buy Chinese in haste, repent at leisure

Remote Control Kits for Electric Fireplaces and Stoves Recalled by Dimplex North America Due to Fire and Burn Hazards

Mobile Power Packs Recalled By Tumi Due to Fire Hazard

Meta meta meta

I return from the Great Not-a-hurricane of 2010.

Buy Chinese in haste, repent at leisure

Telebrands Recalls Scarves with Microwaveable Heat Packs Due to Fire and Burn Hazards

Byer California Recalls Girls’ Jackets with Drawstrings Due to Strangulation Hazard

CPSC Issues Warning on Children’s Winter and Holiday-Themed Charm Bracelets with High Levels of Cadmium

Noncontact Electrical Tester Recalled by Fluke Due to Shock or Burn Hazard

Cryptococcus neoformans

Maya, cotton-top tamarin at Chattanooga Zoo, born in May, dead of uncertain causes.

Stay alive, don't buy Chinese!

Gerber Legendary Blades Recalls Machetes Due to Laceration Hazard

“sold the monkey to a collector”

Pet shop owner steals squirrel monkey, attempts to steal Humboldt penguin from Japan's Nagasaki Bio Park.

“I felt sorry for him”

Unsuccessful woman with a banana chases Florida's mystery monkey.

“do not make contact with the rock-monkeys”

Taiwan to impose fines on hikers who feed monkeys on Chai Mountain.

Goodbye, Jackie

Jackie, 35-year-old chimpanzee at TN's Knoxville Zoo, dies after the death of her unborn baby.

“turning him into a drug addict”

Florida's monkey-on-the-run may have been shot with tranquilizer darts so often that he's getting to where he likes it.

“one of Bristol’s best-loved figures”

Remembering when 3 students stole a 7ft stuffed gorilla from UK's Bristol Museum.

Stay alive, don't buy Chinese!

Boys’ Hooded Jackets with Drawstrings Recalled by Ten West Apparel Due to Strangulation Hazard; Sold at Burlington Coat Factory

“wildlife officials say there’s no need to worry”

Months later(*), Florida "police, wildlife officers and trappers" are still stymied by a little monkey.

*

Stay alive, don't buy Chinese!

Children's Fork and Spoon Sets Recalled by Peachtree Playthings Due to Choking Hazard; Sold at Dollar Tree and Deals

“a very charming gorilla”

Yeboah, new male gorilla at London Zoo, charms the female gorillas with continental manners.

I suspect a hoax, but...

It's rehab for Zhora, Russian chimpanzee with alcohol and tobacco dependencies.

“the oldest male chimp in an accredited zoo in the United States and Europe”

Thumbs-up for San Francisco Zoo's Cobby, 52-year-old chimpanzee on his physical exam at University of California-San Francisco.

“on it’s way to leading a normal life”

Successful surgery on Peanut, a baby ring-tailed lemur with a damaged femur, at Michigan's Summer Wind Farms Sanctuary.

“sold illegally”

Bail for UK lemur-merchant.

“He's doing very well”

Successful cataract surgery for Boscoe the black-and-white ruffed lemur at Pittsburgh Zoo & PPG Aquarium.

“it can be fatal if transmitted to humans”

Inhabitants of the drive-through monkey jungle at UK's Longleat safari park will be quarantined from human visitors in herpes scare.

Stay alive, don't buy Chinese!

Bobens Trading Recalls Girls’ Hooded Sweatshirts With Drawstrings Due to Strangulation Hazard; Sold Exclusively at Burlington Coat Factory

Girls’ Hooded Sweatshirts Recalled by Weeplay Kids Due to Strangulation Hazard

Children’s Hooded Jackets Sold Exclusively at Burlington Coat Factory Recalled by Franshaw Due to Strangulation Hazard

Children's Hooded Sweatshirts with Drawstrings Recalled by Baycreek Due to Strangulation Hazard

A government job, I don't doubt

Social reformers mock humans with memorial for a dead monkey.

“orangutans ... exhibit ... emotional contagion”

It's "tell an animal a joke" Day!

“she didn't go for my face”

Fortunate chimpanzee-attackee tells her tale.

“live on grass and wide open spaces”

Florida readies for immigration of chimpanzees from New Mexico.

“by giving them poisoned banana”

Villagers in West Java avenge their crops, destroyed by monkey menace.

“an ape-for-hire”

Clint Eastwood's former orangutan co-star comes to the rescue when a caretaker at Great Ape Trust in Des Moines is attacked by another orangutan.

“a keeper noticed her sitting on top of her cage”

180-pound gorilla recaptured at Dallas Zoo after pre-Valentine's Day escape attempt.

Update: Blame assigned.

“injuries that did not appear to be life-threatening”

Volunteer at Florida's Suncoast Primate Sanctuary attacked by a chimpanzee.

Stay alive, don't buy Chinese!

Tiny Love Recalls Wind Chime Toys Due to Puncture and Laceration Hazards

Britax Recalls Strollers Due to Risk of Fingertip Amputations and Lacerations

Stay alive, don't buy Chinese!

Innovage LLC Recalls Discovery Kids Lamps Due to Fire and Burn Hazards

“Monkeys can be aggressive and bite”

Darwin in Australia's Northern Territory worries about a wandering unregistered monkey.

“the gender can’t yet be determined”

Saturday saw a gorilla baby (or a baby gorilla) born at Louisville Zoo!

Stay alive, don't buy Chinese!

Dollar General Recalls Toy Guns Due to Choking Hazard

“Julie did not get along with Jimbo”

Blaming the victim, Knoxville Zoo ships suspected troublemaker Julie the chimpanzee to Albuquerque, (but it's a dry heat!)

Stay alive, don't buy Chinese!

Children’s Greeting Cards with Bracelets Recalled Due to Violation of Lead Paint Standard

Children’s Hooded Sweatshirts with Drawstrings Recalled by New Mode Sportswear Due to Strangulation Hazard

Children’s Jackets with Drawstrings Recalled by GTM Sportswear Due to Strangulation Hazard

Children’s Toy Jewelry Sets Recalled by Playmates Toys; Charms Violate the Total Lead Standard

“Howler Monkey Gives Birth”

It's a little bit louder now at New Mexico's Rio Grande Zoo.

“the first time it has been scientifically proven”

Scientists at Japan's University of Tokyo and University of Shiga Prefecture's School of Human Cultures attach electrodes to chimpanzee's head and play a recording of her own name, a similar name, an unknown name and a noise that sounded close to her name in random order to see what'll happen.

Stay alive, don't buy Chinese!

FAF Inc. Recalls Children's Necklaces Sold Exclusively at Walmart Stores Due to High Levels of Cadmium

“I named my daughter after her”

Samantha, western lowland gorilla at Cincinnati Zoo, will turn 40 Sunday.

“No injuries were reported”

Inflatable gorilla runs amok in Houston, TX, sets a shopping center ablaze.

Stay alive, don't buy Chinese!

Regal Lager Announces Recall to Repair CYBEX Strollers; Risk of Fingertip Amputation and Laceration Hazards

Zippo Recalls Candle Lighters Due to Burn Hazard

Ever notice how...

Democrats all look and sound the same?

Stay alive, don't buy Chinese!

Boy's Three-Piece Santa Sets Recalled by Macy’s Due to Choking Hazard

Horse Toy Figures Recalled by Blip Toys Due to Violation of Lead Paint Standard

RadioShack Recalls Knight Hawk Toy Helicopters Due to Fire Hazard

“may have become overly excited”

Japanese macaque captured with a net in a stairwell of restaurant in Tokyo's Taito Ward.

“the iniquitous Biomedical Research Center”

30 rhesus monkeys kicked to the curb in Shivapuri India.

Stay alive, don't buy Chinese!

Graco Recalls Strollers Due to Fingertip Amputation and Laceration Hazards

Johnson Health Tech North America Recalls Horizon Fitness and LIVESTRONG™ Fitness Elliptical Trainers Due to Fall Hazard

Lysol Steam Cleaning Mop Recalled by Conair Corp. Due to Burn and Laceration Hazards

Your tears taste so sweet, Arianna

Still in mourning for MarciaMartha Coakley’s epic fail, HuffPo reports that "Christofur" has been selected as the name of LA Zoo's new Kikuyu colobus monkey, born under confusing circumstances.

“her third offspring”

Gorilla birth expected at Czech Republic's Prague zoo.

“if you pay peanuts, you get monkeys”

Chimpanzees at Scotland's Edinburgh Zoo to film their own exploits.

I fear eventual repercussions, but I continue

Children’s “Big Rex and Friends” Cloth Books Recalled Due to Risk of Lead Exposure

Rockler Companies Recalls LED Light Kits Due to Burn and Fire Hazards

Pier 1 Imports Recalls Santa Tea Light Holders Due to Fire Hazard

And our heads from their asses presumably

British scientists declare human hands evolved from ape's feet.

Like Acorn, but furry

Illinois democrat climbs in with the widely-hated pressure group HSUS and proposes requiring a certificate for monkey ownership.

Meta meta meta

Very busy at work, starting to see that improving, will be able to resume posting in the next few days, I expect.

Stay alive, don't buy Chinese!

Primal Vantage Recalls Plastic Tree Steps Due to Fall Hazard

Update: Acer Recalls Notebook Computers Due to Burn Hazard

Stay alive, don't buy Chinese!

Jide Trading Recalls Toy Military Figure Due to Violation of Lead Paint Standard

Sagittarius Sporting Goods Recalls Gas Grills Sold at Lowe’s Stores Due to Fire and Burn Hazards

“the worst conditions we’ve experienced since the mid-1990s”

Baboons at UK's Knowsley Safari Park ward off the decline with a nice baked potato.

Unwise choice of habitat

Most active volcano in the world threatens Democratic Republic of Congo's chimpanzees.