“The star orangutan looks for his better half!”

leshen2005.blog.tom.com, a Chinese government blog advertising the need for a mate for Leshen, a six-year-old Sumatran orangutan at Hongshan Forest Zoo.

“Clowns give me the creeps”

How (and why!) coulrophobes want to stop Sarasota, FL officials from filling the sizewalks with 70 life-sized fiberglass clowns.

“on exhibit with their mothers”

Golden cheeked gibbon and Kikuyu colobus monkey born at Los Angeles Zoo in December.

“one of the alpha males of primate research”

A positive review of Frans de Waal's Our Inner Ape: The Best and Worst of Human Nature

“Bwana was such a gentle gorilla”

Fond memories of gorilla doings at the San Francisco Zoo.

“horse pipes”

Conservationists in Kenya build ladder-like monkey bridges to keep monkeys from being struck while crossing the busy highways below. Bridges are pictured here.

“leap several feet out of the water and grab birds or monkeys out of trees”

The Georgia Aquarium has Arawanas, but no monkeys for them to grab.

“bit at least 25 people”

Monkey runs amok in Maharashtra, India.

History shows / there's not a chance in hell

Some claim to be Anastasia, some to be Pavlov's bastard daughter.

“Dog Writers Association of America award”

Chef to the dogs to co-author Jane Goodall's next book about herself.

The Next-to-Last of the Mohicans

The prequel. (The Last-but-one of the Mohicans? Too anglophile.)

it`s too shrill, man

Howler monkey born at OK's Tulsa Zoo.

“A male gorilla has the most wonderful pungent smell”

2005 in review - Animals

“to check first if the case is a true one”

Malaysian Wildlife Department to investigate claims of Bigfoot sightings.

“killed in mysterious circumstances in 1985”

Rwanda honors Dian Fossey on the 20th anniversary of her death.

Not misinformed

Japanese Macaques visit Jigokudani-Onsen to take the waters.

“Monkeys enter into houses and take things while door is open”

Another day, another Indian village menaced by monkeys.

“People tease these animals regularly”

India's Byculla zoo-goers not ideal guests.

“Squirrel monkeys: buckets of dried fruit and nuts”

Christmas for the animals at Canada's Edmonton Valley Zoo.

“openly, methodically, set out to ignore the doctrine of separation of church and state”

Hisayoshi Watanabe, Japan's Intelligent Design advocate.

“I need a monkey”

Mystery gifter deposits hundreds of stuffed animals beneath Idaho statehouse holiday tree.

Someone else's tax dollars at work

Australian government to retire Perth Zoo's $17.6 million debts. Perth Zoo to begin accumulating new debt.

“fraternity members”

Return of the Giant Inflatable King Kong.

Ten years ago today

Gorillas, orangutans, gibbons and lemurs die in fire at Philadelphia Zoo.

“two gorillas and 10 tigers died in the Zoo”

Retired Curator of Mysore Zoo blames Forest officials for late-1970's animal deaths.

“Romina is very protective but loves to show him off”

Romina, 25-year-old western lowland gorilla at UK's Bristol Zoo, recipient of successful cataract surgery, a good mother to her 7-month-old son, Namoki,

“just before midnight — Greenwich Mean Time”

I question the timing!

“He may be sourcing food from within the zoo somewhere”

Australia's Western Plains Zoo locked down in search for (human) murderer.

“The menace of monkeys claimed the life of a villager”

Indian man dies after falling from tree while defending house from monkey attack.

“I learned many things”

Skills transfer for African veterinarians at Maryland Zoo's Mountain Gorilla Veterinary Project.

“this date in history”

December 23, 1956: Ohio's Columbus Zoo welcomes the first birth of a captive-born gorilla

“Come on, Kiki, let's go home”

King Kong an excuse for a couple of gorilla anecdotes.

“that’s when we discovered it was missing”

33-foot inflatable King Kong swiped from Springfield, MO theater roof.

“Monkey Claus is coming to town”

Katrina evacuee philanthropist to distribute sock monkeys in New Orleans.

It aint sanitary!

Via Possumblog, eeyew.

Your tax dollars at work!

Geneticists refine time of divergence of human and chimpanzee lines to 5 to 7 million years ago. Cladists remain mum (and smug).

“Kudlo, the monkey man”

Monkey-impersonator a local attraction in Puranapanj, India.

“Zoo researchers document menopause in gorillas”

I did not know that.

“choked by her school hat cord from monkey bars”

Nanny-state seen as not all-knowing in antipodean shocker. Further rule-making seen as solution.

“Josef Stalin wanted to develop a super army”

Murderous and stupid.

“he had gone to see a particular type of chimpanzee”

Safari-bound candlemaker snuffed.

“That's not how they behave!”

Primate supervisor for the Rio Grande Zoo says King Kong no documentary.

“It looks like an Ernst Wilhelm Nay”

Art “expert” is mocked.

“far too seriously”

King Kong audiences charged with racism, homophobia.

“whatever your heart desires”

Making the sock monkey.

“supplying Schatten with eggs that had been illegally obtained”

U.S. mad scientist fears South Korean counterpart may be bad apple that spoils the barrel for him.

“nocturnal attacks on children and elderly by these nasty creatures”

Monkeys seize territory, demand autonomy, in disputed Indian-admininistered Kashmir.

“such acts will not be tolerated”

Seven Indonesian orangutans rescued from show business in Malaysia.

“We hope to have total access”

More direct flights from Singapore to go gawp at orangutans in Malaysia.

I do believe, I do believe...

I do believe in Abominable Snowmen & such.

“Lincoln was often cartooned as an ungainly ape”

Wartime defeatism has a long history in USA, says Victor Davis Hanson.

“says Dr Hwang has admitted faking at least some of the results”

Korean mad scientist apparently more clever than genius.

“arguably the world's slowest-breeding land mammal”

Bornean orangutan born at New Zealand's Auckland Zoo.

Yeah, that'll work

Adventures in defective child-rearing: pre-written apology post-its, they just check the appropriate boxes. More gruesome details.

“volcano rabbit and monkey-faced bats”

I find it difficult to muster much sympathy for a species, endangered though it be, that's evolved a survival stategy of living only on the slopes of four volcanoes.

“The experiments have to be done”

Are you thinking what I'm thinking, Pinky?

Excuses, excuses

King Kong floods news stories, drowning out search for legitimate primate stories.

“I started punching but it became more aggressive”

Businessman fights off monkey attack in Malaysia.

“with monkeys "capturing" some wells in dry regions”

Planet of the Apes scenario draws ever closer.

“public concern can now abate”

"Potentially-dangerous" escaped chimpanzee shot dead in northern England.

Update: And now the yapping starts

“A case is now being readied against the monkey’s owner”

Neighbor's pet monkey kills girl in Philippines. Via Monkeys In The News.

“See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil”

Oil-thirsty Luddites stymied in attempts to derail operating license renewal for CT's Millstone Units 2 and 3 Nuclear power plants.

“Violet will remain in quarantine for 30 days”

Honolulu Zoo takes delivery of new special friend for Rusti the Orangutan.

Kansas seen as a hub for willful ignorance

“These evolutionists are saying that Jesus was half-chimpanzee, so was Mohammed and Buddha&rdquo

“We hope to educate the public about the disappearing rain forests”

Monkey trainers at New Jersey's Six Flags Great Adventure are visited with as King Kong tie-ins run amok.

“Faecal samples from the four apes were sent to independent laboratories”

Cameroon charges exploitation, mishandling of "Taipeng Four" gorillas.

“there are some fictitious parts”

France Television monkey specials edited for extra heart-warmingness, Korea's donga.com charges.

“monkeys crawling on people, for instance”

Researcher/activists claim Indonesia's urban performing monkeys founts of contagious disease.

“turning used chip fat into motor fuel is a good thing”

Clearing forest for palm oil plantations to make biodiesel bad, says useful-idiot poster child George Monbiot.

“male monkeys like to play with toy cars”

“Monkeys show gender differences in toy preferences, research finds”

I didn't know monkeys had gender, but they sure have sex!
(Ba-dum Dum)

“see what happens when the chimpanzees are put to bed”

New Zealand's Wellington Zoo to celebrate “The Truth about Great Apes week” and King Kong cross-promotion festival.

“the Bill would also allow a prohibition affecting zoos”

Royal Scottish Zoological Society and Edinburgh Zoo express concern that Scottish Parliament wants “counter-productive and overly bureaucratic” authority to ban some species.

“osteoarthritis in the hinge on the right side of his jaw”

Successful surgery on Motaba the gorilla at Australia's Melbourne Zoo.

Hey! Google News carries Joe Gandelman now

No Reel Apes campaign pleased that King Kong features no real apes.

“their testicles are many times larger than those of gorillas”

British scientists claim inverse relationship between sizes of brain, testicles. Some bats, they say, must be very smart.

“the quake has halted plans to expand it by adding four monkeys”

Pakistanis displaced by earthquake move into aviary at local zoo.

“The university denies the allegations”

Louisiana Ethics (sic) Board to hear complaints of animal cruelty at University of Louisiana.

Hmmm, tapetum

Unrevealing photo and artists conception drawing of Borneo mystery critter.

But soon though, any time now...

No veterinary facilities at Pakistan's Lahore Zoo.

“a large leaf obscured the creature’s face”

WWF announces the discovery of previously-unknown (to them) carnivore in Borneo. Details remain a bit murky:

The pictures show an enigmatic, red-furred creature with tiny ears and distinctive markings. The leaf that obscures its face makes it impossible to say if it has a pointed snout like a dog or fox, or a flat face like a cat. A second photo, from behind, shows it to have a long, bushy tail rather like a fox, and large hind legs. It is slightly larger than a domestic cat.

They want it declared endangered.

Update 12/06: Invasive Species Weblog wonders if it might be an invasive species.

“most VHF is zoonotic”

Congo Viruses: Marburg, Ebola, Lassa, Crimean-Congo, and more. What to worry about during lapses in your avian flu obsession.

“no one has scientifically proved that baby animals are soothed by nestling in real fur”

Even if you're probably a loony, not everything you do is guarenteed to be harmful.

“python in search of a monkey meal”

Snake photographer wins seven of eight categories of International Herpetological Symposium photo awards.

“an 800-pound gorilla in the room”

Showtime's “Sleeper Cell” to do for (fictional) terrorists what “The Sopranos” did for gangsters.

“graceful, leathery and enormous”

Great apes fascinate us, saysthe UK's Sunday Herald.

“the males get riled if you shoot them”

Gorillas in literature, through history.

“the ground was strewn with caps and hats of all sorts”

Shimla, India: have your pockets rifled by monkeys and get a pony ride!

“The Animal Welfare Board is planning protests”

Indian activists demand that ban on tigers, leopards, lions, deer and monkeys in movies be enforced.

“to inspire our public to value the presence of living things in our lives”

Twin Saki Monkeys born at Minnesota's Como Zoo.

“Their bite is as bad as a rottweiler's”

Roaming capuchin monkey collared in Holman, KY. Owner sought found.

“overheating of the room in which the animals were housed”

UC Davis pays $4,815 fube-like penalty for the August 2004 deaths of seven monkeys.

“little edible balls called Primatreats”

47-year-old chimpanzee at Chicago's Lincoln Park Zoo an internet addict

“nicknames like The Beak, The Gorilla and The Doctor”

EU hoodlums feel threatened by Bulgarian gangsters.

"No Reel Apes"

Daryl Hannah to join Queen of the Chimps Dr. Jane Goodall in calling for an end to the use of great apes in entertainment.

Goodbye, Fern

46-year-old gorilla at Oklahoma City Zoo euthanized.

“Mohamed was not paid for the animals”

Awwwww.

“three African species of bats that are eaten by humans”

Elusive ebola vector may be bats. Or not.

More.

“they were sensitive to the concerns”

“Crescent of Embrace” design retired in favor of less controversial Bowl of Chimpy McHalliburton BusHitler's Lasting Shame.

Trachypithecus hatinhensis

A dozen Hatinh langurs noticed in Vietnam's Quang Tri province.

“more than $7 million to other countries to aid in their conservation of imperiled wildlife”

A drop in the bucket, I suppose, but still, your tax dollars at work.

“also self-aware, like gorillas and humans”

Annual Japanese slaughter of dolphins in progress. "Mercury poisoning!", warn pro-dolphin contingent.

“some of the world's most exciting and endangered animals”

Glaswegians to benefit from £35m rebuild of zoo.

four hundred n' ninety-seven n' a half feet o' rope

Curious George soundtrack composer Jack Johnson is briefly profiled.

“Quality Science Education”

“University of California sued by monkey haters” turns out to be a bit misleading, they're not so much monkey haters as lawsuit-happy creationists.

“some monkeys attack and bite tourists when not fed”

Costa Rica tourists beware: local wildlife has butched up!

“pry open the bolls to get at the sweet water trapped inside”

Crop-destroying monkeys only one problem facing the African cotton-farmer.

“depending on where they live”

Kyoto University Primate Research Institute professor studies monkey "dialects."

“consumed with heartbreak”

Swoosie Kurtz lends box-office drawing power to PETA nattering.

“She can go anywhere, anytime”

Great Ape Trust of Iowa says Allie the orangutan, from Denver Zoo, recovering well from a viral neurological disorder in her legs.

“brought to tears after being subjected to racial abuse”

In soccer, it seems, there's crying.

“neither a top cultural institution in Minnesota nor a star among zoological gardens”

Minnesota Zoo wants to be a contender.

“it is not primarily a tourist attraction”

Great Ape Trust of Iowa to admit visitors, a little bit. By and by.

“cynical and ruthless criminals”

Yet another reason to hate clowns.

“four masked gunmen”

Palestinian police unable to protect Gaza's zoo.

“We deployed 10 more guards, what else can we do?”

Crowds out of control at zoo in Mumbai.

“monkeys aren't known for their good manners”

17th annual monkey banquet at Lopburi, Thailand much like previous 16: overstimulated loud monkeys, tourists likewise.

“it may seem strange for me to get stuck on a chimpanzee”

Life no bowl of cherries for chimpanzee in Ghanan zoo.

“capturing an animal would seem harsh and amounts to stealing”

Politically sensitive career revision for Man In The Yellow Hat in Curious George movie.

“You have to have fear when dealing with such animals”

Presence of mind a key job qualification for zoo-keeper at the Guyana Zoological Park.

“We are pleased that the UN finally moving closer to the worldwide consensus”

Group of self-important scientists calls for starvation in the Pacific for the sake of leatherback sea turtles.

As their appeal is only for a General Assembly resolution, there should be no effect beyond hearty handshakes and a handsomely framed document.

“You can speak to them in English and ask them to do certain things for you”

TV's Jack Hanna off in a world of his own.

“a city without soul and heart”

Audubon Zoo in New Orleans reopens.

“Acara fidgeted on Meekin's brown, fake fur sweater”

Temporary "mother" to orangutan at Salt Lake City's Hogle Zoo shuns attachments, Buddha-like.

“Abu Dhabi - the Missing Link”

Abu Dhabi Environment Agency fossilized.

“and in one case a monkey on board”

Australia contemplates getting strict with illegal fishermen.

“after reaching a settlement agreement earlier this week”

‘Show me your tits’ lawsuit against Koko the sign-language gorilla dropped.

“it's still kangaroo to me and I won't eat it”

Georgian lists things he will and won't eat. “Monkeys, apes and gorillas” off the menu, says he.

“stuffing upsets their stomachs and leads to diarrhea”

Monkeys at New Mexico's Hillcrest Park Zoo enjoyed a traditional Thanksgiving turkey dinner minus stuffing.

“the gorilla has grown up a little”

Children just plain evil, says Pravda.

“the illegal detention of more than one hundred orangutan”

Free the Thailand 115, say animal protection organizations, singing Born Free without let for forty years.

“all part of the quirky charm of having a home in India”

Monkey menace welcome as there are no half-measures when the British go native, says The Times.

“Some say chimpanzees mourn, but that's arguable”

Life goes on for chimpanzees at Michigan's John Ball Zoo.

“I am very sorry that I have to tell the public words that are too shameful and horrible”

Mad scientist apologizes. Unconvincingly.

“see the gorillas given a special feed”

Australia's Melbourne Zoo celebrates Yakini the gorilla's sixth birthday.

“played with monkeys and a pet sloth”

Jungle dentistry in Peru.

“suspicious mouth lesions found in lowland gorillas”

Disturbing new veterinary miniseries from Steve Irwin.

“we had an orangutan give birth and we called the baby some word that meant 'sweet potato'”

Idiosyncratic Thanksgiving traditions

“lost control of their cars and crashed”

Careless drivers in South Carolina blame dangling gorilla suit for their collisions.

“Bangkatan”

Brunei boasts 23 protected animal species. Insistently.

“Her goal is to expand her facilities”

Some people have too many cats in the house. Not Oregon's Monkey Lady.

“I don't want to think about monkeys, even subliminally, when I'm eating”

Arizona's monkey-themed restaurant fails to impress.

A psychologist, a philologist, and a physicist walk into a bar...

Binghamton University scientists study origins of laughter.

“anger and happiness are not that discernible”

Uncannily realistic automated monkey head

Goodbye, Kutosha

Chimpanzee dies while being transferred from Miami Metrozoo to Busch Gardens. Animal Rights Foundation of Florida blames Metrozoo.

“this does not prove that there are now more orangutans than one or two decades back”

IUCN warns of extinction of orangutans in Borneo.

“prosecuting the culprits might pose a challenge”

Malaysian zoos and theme parks under fire from wildlife observers.

“causing him to hit his head on a curb”

Arrest in Indiana Halloween assault.

“the population will cease to kill wildlife as a means of survival”

Endangered animals reportedly on the rise, poaching on the decline, in Uganda.

Truce declared over shape of conference table

Nairobi, Kenya to host eighth Conference of the Parties to the Convention on the Conservation of Migratory Species of Wild Animals this week. Refreshments will be served.

“I'm thankful for the zoo and garage sales. There are monkeys, and cheap stuff”

Children's letters to the newspaper. Not a “Yes, Virginia” in the bunch.

“Lemurs don't cross water”

Changes planned for Edmonton's Valley Zoo. Also, I think it's vampires that don't cross water.

“it is not likely they will have primates at the zoo after Bill dies”

Sequoia Park Zoo looks to concentrate on non-primates.

“Now the students are happy”

Monkey-chasing services of baboon retained by India's Sindhu Educational Institutions. Plans for baboon-chasing not mentioned in the story.

This, I think, is a test of your BS detector:

Alagarkoil India monkeys claimed to be broken of littering habit, humans to be shamed by their example.

“He has yet to be given a name”

Male gorilla born by caesarean at Florida's Busch Gardens. (registration required)

“tuck in to a menu featuring tiger, lion, elephant and giraffe”

Bushmeat on the menu at Thailand's Chiang Mai night safari zoo

“in collaboration with Madrid University”

Chimp rescue on Grand Canary island.

“females who mate only during the full moon”

Saving the tiny Philippine tarsier.

“perhaps the cutest and most vacant of all primates”

Americans content to look at lemurs while in Madagascar, while ignoring “the facial features of the average Malagasy&rdquo, says Thailand's Farang Untamed Travel, experts on spotting foreigners, I take it.

“habituating gorillas in the Tayna reserve to the presence of humans”

Award for Pierre Kakula Vwirasihikya, protector of Congo gorillas.

“I like monkeys”

American Red Cross: putting your kids to work.

“Dear Abby”

Zookeeper perturbed by parents who give their kids bad information.

“truly responsible ecotourism”

Ecotourism with a guilty conscience.

“turned into a huge disaster”

Tennessee monkey-blessing plans misunderstood, it seems, as monkey-christening plans. Whole thing called off.

“A population control fanatic”

Your fiends friends at Voluntary Human Extinction.

Parents: remember this the next time you attempt to use reason

Reseachers liken teenagers to a “monkey 2 to 4 years old”.

“This is the first case we've had like this”

Yesterday's biting kinkajou (which isn't a primate) put to sleep. As it's endangered, expect trouble over this.

“they’re just utterly wrong”

Sequoia Park Zoo picket garners a claimed dozen protestors.

And they just got around to telling us now!

Female aye-aye born at Duke Primate Center Sept. 5.

“the only full service diagnostic center in the state”

Michigan State University Diagnostic Center for Population and Animal Health ready to necropsy 26-year-old chimpanzee late of John Ball Zoo, dead after routine dental surgery.

“Your insults show your lack of intelligence”

Hey, hatemail in the comments. I feel like I've arrived.

“Many animals were harmed in the filming of this movie”

Cooper & Schoedsack's pre-King Kong Chang: A Drama of the Wilderness  DVD re-release due in stores this week.

Reposted, this time with a link. Clumsy me.

“Old lady who lives in the forest without a man”

Health care is a right (for wild gorillas!)

“apparently came in through an open gate”

Stray dogs get into Mississippi's Jackson Zoo Friday night, 18 exotic birds dead.

Because I have some standards...

I have no plans link to stories of Paris Hilton being attacked by her pet monkey.

“A monkey-like pet ”

Mississippi woman attacked by kinkajou.

Although it does resemble a monkey and is often referred to as the "night monkey," the kinkajou is actually kin to the raccoon.

“they do not have thumbs”

The colobus monkey is profiled in Uganda's Sunday Monitor.

“the crumbs offered to our quaint and cute Valley Zoo”

Alberta, Canada suffers from zoo envy.

“stuck on the African ship once it left the dock”

USATODAY.com presents: ratites for beginners.

“two incendiary devices under an expensive four-wheel drive”

UK AR thugs make common cause with “French” arsonists.

“It just seems like one of those things that was meant to be”

Yerkes National Primate Research Center necropsy ends in uncertainty, unable to state cause of death of 5-day-old Zoo Atlanta gorilla. Tissue samples will be examined by pathologists at the University of Georgia in Athens, who may choose to apply science rather than "some things man was not meant to know" platitudes.

All aboard the gravy train!

Discovery Channel's Animal Planet to add Jane Goodall Institute's unnatural warping of young minds with "Roots & Shoots Minutes"

“violating the zookeepers' collective bargaining agreement”

Burmese immigrant credits his family's prosperity in US to his willful disregard of zoo rules, discounts hard work.

“no long-term solution in sight”

New Delhi, India: 270 captured monkeys in shed meant for 200.
Rest of India: We have as many monkeys as we need, thanks, try next door.

“expert skills in killing monkeys”

Body count climbs in Ugandan monkey reduction effort.

“a cage to catch the monkeys was put up, but without any success”

Goverment measures ineffective as Indian monkeys rampage.

“we really never expected him to live this long”

Family of pathetic no-lifes desperately demand attention outside Sequoia Park Zoo.

“Ethical Concerns”

Dog-cloning Korean mad scientist loses University of Pittsburgh collaborator over human egg procurement ethics problems. Both remain mum on mini-Kim project.

“most likely shot by accident Monday”

Primatologist searching Congo for as-of-yet undiscovered species of primate with gorilla and chimpanzee characteristics shot in Atlanta random violence.

“first grandchild of the beloved Willie B”

Baby gorilla at center of Zoo Atlanta ape-napping headlines dies.

“zoo authorities feel jubilated”

New chimpanzees, other acquisitions, at India's Vandalur Arignar Anna Zoological Park.

“new polar bear and gorilla exhibits at the Como Zoo, among other projects”

Newly-elected St. Paul mayor Chris Coleman to spend with both hands. A polar bear vs. gorilla cage-match thing oughta play big, tho.

Goodbye, Jo Mendi

26-year-old alpha chimpanzee at Michigan's John Ball Zoo dies after dental surgery. Necropsy to follow.
limited-info registration link

“good days are less and less good”

As it must for all primates, death approaches for Toledo Zoo's Akbar the gorilla.

“they have been assaulting tourists for food”

India's monkey menace hurts tourism.

“Two is not enough”

Refuting Wednesday's allegations of attempted ape-napping, Zoo Atlanta officials shame-facedly return abandoned baby to heroic Kuchi the gorilla.

Adventures in misreading

“Giant ape remains unearthed”

Took me a minute to understand that it didn't mean that they hadn't re-interred it.

“the cultural diversity of China as a multi-ethnic country”

Mascots for 2008 Beijing Olympics announced, Monkey King nixed.

“half Sumatran, half Bornean hybrid”

Changes in store for Honolulu Zoo'a Rusti the orangutan.

“People of Tokyo, run for your lives”

From the pages of Scientific American: King Kong vs. Godzilla.

“vocal in its claims that oil palm plantations are the culprits”

Lid blown off “Oil For Ape Scandal”!

“I'm very disappointed”

Ed Asner keeps shirt on whild decrying results of Kansas intelligent design decision.

“Two's enough”

Via Monkey Day News, Atlanta Zoo officials foil ape-nap attempt by mother of recently-born twin gorillas.

“as has Jane Goodall, the chimpanzee authority”

Aged Canadian scofflaw with a woodlot plays guru to foresters, college stoners, eco-celebrities.

“stop giving them food”

Monkey menace in Malaysia.

“They don't eat meals at home with family members”

Japanese primate specialist Nobuo Masataka fears mobile phones making Japanese chimp-like.

Avahi cleesei

Newly-discovered long-legged lemur named for John Cleese.

Gigantopithecus blackii update.

Artist's conception. Artist's conception!

“protests from animal conservationists”

Kenya to sell wild animals to Thailand, conservationist busy-bodies be damned!

“Pay Peanuts, Get Monkeys”

Australian hospital picketers prepared with signs, banners. monkey costumes.

“our friends the Congolese”

Uganda's Koome Islands seek novel solution to monkey menace.

“native to Australia, Tasmania and New Guinea”

Sugar glider mysteriously turns up on Las Vegas-to-Honolulu flight.

Africa Screams

“Jungle” Jack Hanna takes it on the road.

“it looks healthy and is being well cared for by its mother”

Squirrel monkey born at Arizona's Phoenix Zoo.

Sandoz is safe, I see

PETA loons hope to cow Lilly, Merck, and Pfizer.

“the pretentious, the coy, and the cute”

The 1929 film The Taming of the Shrew is infamous for, among other things, the credit "By William Shakespeare, with additional dialogue by Sam Taylor". In other news, they've pissed on Strunk & White. Again.

“A major problem with attacks like these is that they hurt tourism across Africa”

Ugandan officials worry that gorilla tourism may be harmed by far-off Somali pirates.

“catastrophe in the next 100 years”

Global warming fears cast chill over Gullible-American community.

Gigantopithecus blackii

McMaster University geochronologist who fears no Leakey claims prehistoric bigfoot extinct only 100,000 years ago.

“six abstract paintings”

San Diego Zoo to auction paintings by orangutans.

“with Bill there are no easy answers”

Do-gooder without a clue seeks to complicate life for Sequoia Park Zoo's Bill the Chimpanzee, all for his own good.

“doesn't mean it isn't going to rip your face off”

Humane Society of the United States plays to self-interest of Maryland legislators, arguing for wide-ranging exotic animal ban.

“may have taken drugs before the incident”

Cambodians, monkeys, terrified by naked German.

“Should your head be ripped off by a huge mountain gorilla...”

Things to expect at Indonesia's Ragunan Zoo.

“monkey come, monkey come!”

Exotic Thailand gives adventure vacation a whole new meaning!

“too nerdy”

Halloween fun: Wear long hair loosely tied back, no makeup, a photographer's khaki vest, carry a stuffed monkey in your arms and you're Jane Goodall.

“You have to be willfully willing to do something wrong to be negligent”

Emory University fined $1,375 for 2004 death of chimpanzee at their Yerkes Primate Center.

“Monkey Murderer”

Wisconsin State Journal boldly comes out against extremism in unsigned editorial.

and statistics

NBC's highly-rated ER shows clear signs of BDS. Nobody they know voted for him, betcha.

“swallowed pills that he was not supposed to”

Inquest into the death of Isaac Mofokeng who in 1997, shot, injured, and was captured by Max the gorilla at South Africa's Johannesburg Zoo.

It's MADNESS!

Via Instapundit, mad scientists vie to build Supermouse!

“it was Babu's second attempted escape in a week”

Babu the red panda fails in zoo-break attempt at UK's Bristol Zoo.

“hold conservationist organisations accountable”

Rwanda would like an accounting of how gorilla research funds are being spent.

“However, as parents, we're helpless, aren't we?”

Powai, India woman resigned to animal house-invasions.

“doing many fun things with sock monkeys”

Rockford , Illinois claims the sock monkey as its own!

“There are heightened tensions during breeding season”

AR thugs attempt to stymie life-saving medical research at California National Primate Research Center

“Monkey See, Monkey Do”

Journalism taken to task for insufficient revolutionary zeal.

The Newtown Bee reviews Taunton Lake history

August 1, 1930: Frightened by thunder and lightning while sitting in the trees, Chico the monkey disappeared and was the object of a fruitless search.

“will next test the rice on monkeys”

Rice: what can't it do?

“Her monkey pooped on me and it all went downhill from there”

Reminiscing with the near-great.

“Viewers will be asked to vote for their favourite gorilla”

Czech public television to tout gorilla videoclips as “a meaningful alternative to "people" reality shows”

“without anyone noticing him”

Red Sox erstwhile GM reportedly fled Fenway in gorilla costume.

“small size and low-maintenance lifestyle”

Adventures on South Carolina's Morgan Island, where research monkeys are bred.

“We're not a zoo”

South Africa's National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals plans to euthanize thousands of baboons and vervet monkeys.

“The Zoo Atlanta family is elated”

Twin gorillas born at Georgia's Zoo Atlanta

“omnivores that ate just about everything”

Foodologists at University of Massachusetts-Amherst seek prehistoric recipes for Giant Lemur.

Shoes for industry,

Shoes for the dead!

“causing unnecessary suffering”

Three-week adjournment in trial of Welsh monkey-teaser.

After genetically modified monkeys get all the good jobs...

there will be nothing for you but orangutan urine collector and the like.

“cures that cost cents to the richest nation in the world”

Rich Hollywood star to demand higher taxes on middle-class to fund free health-care for world's poor.

Goodbye, Kuba

16-year-old lowland gorilla dies at Topeka Zoo while being doped for trip to Erie Zoo. (registration required) updated with non-registration link to story

“The Gorilla is very selective”

Campbell, CA plagued by gorilla-impersonating burglar.

Outsourcing nightmare!

Duke University neuroscientists teaching monkeys to count!

“reducing the number of plasmids”

US & Japanese scientists devise faster production of bird flu vaccine.

Not a post

Well, I see working a gag around “Libby, Libby, Libby on the label, label, label” is not a fresh idea, so the heck with that!

“Conan's afraid of wide open spaces”

Associated Press loves Chimp Haven:

They are at the home courtesy of Congress, which in 200(sic) passed the Chimp Act, providing up to $30 million to care for animals that were used as test animals in federal labs.

Which was damned big of them, eh?

“isn't some Halloween prankster wearing a gorilla suit”

Bib overalls still popular with old coots claiming bigfoot sightings.

“my feet are so cold and burning”

Utah's Hogle Zoo hosts "Boo at the Zoo".

“bananas, boiled sweet potatoes and other solid food”

Keeper at Japan's Utsunomiya Zoo fosters blind squirrel monkey.

“biopiracy”

Medical research in the Amazon stymied by Brazilian government.

“I am appalled”

Animal welfare whiners distressed by Edible Ltd's product line.

CT's faux Republicans test the wind

Gov. M. Jodi Rell said the governor had never met Libby or ridden a scooter.

“blood can be a highly nutritious drink”

More news from gmail: Australian scientist discovers spider that feeds on recently-engorged mosquitoes.

“the first biologist to study seahorses under water ”

Chevron Conservation Awards to environmentalists. Neither gills nor failed policies need be a barrier to award it seems:

Liza Gadsby and Peter Jenkins. The duo founded the Pandrillus organization in 1988 to protect the endangered drill monkey and other primates from extinction. As few as 3,000 drills remain worldwide.

“DISORDERLY CONDUCT CHARGES”

Pennsylvania gorilla-boy to face trial and all-caps.

OK everybody, get in a pile!

Stupid hippies celebrate the randy bonobo at the Bonobo Peace Forest.

“delay is unacceptable”

Cameroon demands South Africa pay reverse ransom for holding “Taipeng Four” gorillas.

“being paid to feed the animals”

Out-of-court settlement in Arkansas bitey chimp case.

Damned if you do...

Twisted weasel Richard Nixon criticized for not saving the world from Ugandan dictator Idi Amin.

“we will face opposition from wildlife activists”

India's elections may hinge on reaction to growing monkey menace.

“It's not all feeding them bananas”

Missouri chimpanzee to guest on TV's ER.

“A cow represents capital investment here”

Africa's cows threaten elephants, paleoanthropology, says Richard Leakey.

“a rate of 50km a year,”

Ebola getting closer to you, say scientists at Max Planck Institute.

“wondered who would want to buy that”

Sharper Image to vend lifelike robotic chimpanzee head.

“these conservationists can then come and take the bodies away”

South African man says “baboons are a pest”.

Could do worse

Julius Caesar You scored 59 Wisdom, 65 Tactics, 58 Guts, and 49 Ruthlessness!

Roman military and political leader. He was instrumental in the transformation of the Roman Republic into the Roman Empire. His conquest of Gallia Comata extended the Roman world all the way to the Atlantic Ocean, introducing Roman influence into what has become modern France, an accomplishment of which direct consequences are visible to this day. In 55 BC Caesar launched the first Roman invasion of Britain. Caesar fought and won a civil war which left him undisputed master of the Roman world, and began extensive reforms of Roman society and government. He was proclaimed dictator for life, and heavily centralized the already faltering government of the weak Republic. Caesar's friend Marcus Brutus conspired with others to assassinate Caesar in hopes of saving the Republic. The dramatic assassination on the Ides of March was the catalyst for a second set of civil wars, which marked the end of the Roman Republic and the beginning of the Roman Empire under Caesar's grand-nephew and adopted son Octavian, later known as Caesar Augustus. Caesar's military campaigns are known in detail from his own written Commentaries (Commentarii), and many details of his life are recorded by later historians such as Suetonius, Plutarch, and Cassius Dio.

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 18% on Unorthodox You scored higher than 26% on Tactics You scored higher than 68% on Guts You scored higher than 33% on Ruthlessness

Link: The Which Historic General Are You Test written by dasnyds on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

“surely it would be kinder to just kill them”

Chimpanzee in Cameroon fostered by Scot.

“MobilePet Monkey”

Those with a cell and too much time on their hands may enjoy paying for a virtual monkey.

“man needs vast quantities of palm oil to fry his greasy foods”

You feel guilty about everything or you're part of the problem.

Lese Majeste!

October 25. 1920: King Alexander of Greece dies after bite from pet monkey.

“Marmosets waited almost twice as long as tamarins”

Harvard scientists study different sorts of monkeys to learn details of immediate vs. delayed gratification. Don't snicker, you paid for it.

“Ghouls at Grassmere”

Tennessee's Nashville Zoo goes all Halloween. Boo.

“please don’t worry this baby orangutan might fall from the rope”

Modern zoo-keeping a hit with Japanese crowds.

“From mealworms and yabbies to maggots and mangoes”

Given a choice of nummies, your orangutan'll choose rhubarb.

“16 species have disappeared in the 2,000 or so years since man arrived here”

At this rate, we'll soon run out of lemurs, say career conservationists

“The next coconut you eat might have been picked by a monkey!”

Monkeys find work in Thailand.

“free and open to the public”

Louisiana's Chimp Haven to open next weekend.

“made partly of elephant dung”

13 pictures of monkeys at center of £700,000 Tate Gallery scandal.

“a very mysterious skin condition”

“I am not a chimpanzee,” insists Nobel-winner Harold Pinter, unconvincingly.

First they must agree on the shape of the table

"Taiping Four" gorillas still mired in diplomacy.

“The whole lot were put on antibiotics”

More chimpanzees sick with flu at New Zealand's Wellington Zoo.

Goodbye, Bahati

Four-year-old chimpanzee at New Zealand's Wellington Zoo euthanized after severe brain damage because of cardiac arrest in case of flu, pneumonia, despite best efforts of intensive care staff from Wellington Hospital.

“a viral infection”

Allie, Denver Zoo's ill orangutan, to get rehab at Iowa's Great Ape Trust.

“dumber than a tamarin or a marmoset”

Even stupid leftists agree: stoners are dumb as rocks.

PETA or PETA symps, I betcha!

USDA finds California's Sequoia Park Zoo not to blame in recent escape of Bill the chimpanzee after person or persons unknown vandalized his enclosure.

“an unlicensed exhibitor whose monkey bit two preschoolers”

Dodgy zoos prosper more in the Eastern United States than in the rest of the country, say Agriculture Department investigators.

“This is like fighting a 1,000-pound gorilla”

Philadelphia councilman under federal investigation essays suicide attempt.

No Way Out

Uganda's Bwindi Impenetrable National Park gets Wi-Fi "telecentre."

“Two activists chained themselves to the plywood”

“rainforest rimber”? Ruh-roh!

“Nearly two decades after portraying Dian Fossey”

Animal Planet's Gorillas Revisited With Sigourney Weaver garners not a word from the apes.

“chimpanzees who have served humankind in medical research”

Chimp Haven, chimpanzee retirement community in Louisiana, opens.

“improving the quality of life for chimps in captivity ”

Salina, KS due for a visit from Jane Goodall.

“borrowed by a Japanese researcher 10 years ago”

Monkey fossils returned to Bolivia with ceremony.

“It was awful”

Birthday gorilla-gram for Robert Downey.

“friendly, dignified and not troublesome”

Whiskey-sipping monkey in India a local attraction.

Planet of the Apes, here we come!

Tool-using baby gorilla studied in the Congo.

Update: Cats comment.

“and hunted the packs of pygmy elephants”

Hook, line, and shrinker.

“agreed to stop trying to infiltrate”

“PETA research and investigation director Mary Beth Sweetland calls it "a complete victory."” Cause they intend to be back in there next week?

“vice president of the Dian Fossey Gorilla Fund International”

Gorilla researcher inspired by King Kong, hoping for a ride on Peter Jackson's coattails.

“the chimps beat and often kill their neighbors”

Chimpanzees: watching the borders.

“after the Maoists looted the guns, the farmers have nothing to deal with them”

Disarmed Nepalese farmers terrorized by monkey menace

“enormous troops of monkeys”

Expect the illnesses to be minor on your Peru vacation.

“a delicacy in some Asian countries”

Don't try to smuggle monkey intestines into New Zealand. They have rules about that sort of thing.

“the monkeys will often wake you up in the morning, especially the howlers”

Things to look forward to on your Costa Rica vacation.

“flummoxed by the simian intruder”

Monkey menaces Mumbai apartment complex. Police officials agree: not a criminal situation, go call a forest ranger.

“it changes your whole perception of reality”

Bigfoot believers convene in Texas.

“I think they miss the people”

Still cleaning up in New Orleans at Audubon Zoo.

“the governor did not appear to be pleased with the accord”

Sore losers get Argentine government to cancel results of auction of part of former Pizarro nature reserve

“The Gorilla Pumpkin Hunt”

At the Cincinnati Zoo and Botanical Garden animals and pumpkins: box-office gold.

Biretia fayumensis, Biretia megalopsis

Anthropoid origin pendulum said to swing back to Africa as fossils of two 37-million-year-old parapithecoid species discovered in Egyptian desert.

“to take home four of their gorillas”

Saga of Taiping 4 drags on.

Haven't these people suffered enough?

Jane Goodall jets to Brownsville, TX.

“Am I over-reacting? I don’t know, I would like to think not. ”

Outrage! Monkeys not treated like dogs in Mauritius!!

“did not prevent the alleged entry of vandals onto zoo grounds”

PETA loons blame California's Sequoia Park Zoo for vandalism of Bill the Chimpanzee's enclosure. I know who I'm blaming!

“Traveling more than 300 days a year”

Jane Goodall's globetrotting knows no bounds. Today, Oakland.

“dressed up as gorillas”

Greenpeace interferes with lumber trade in Italy. A ship was boarded, activists chained themselves to things, a spokesman spoke, the lumber got where it was going.

“to revive the interest and knowledge about Albert Schweitzer ”

Jane Goodall's coming to Quinnipiac.

“in collaboration with the Harvard Peabody Museum and the Max Plank Institute”

Woods Hole Research Center goes ape to stave off extinction.

“Hey, mom. I saw a penguin”

Jack Hanna favors zoos.

“one of the best he's seen”

World Society for the Protection of Animals reviews zoos in Canada's Alberta province. Big thumbs up for Calgary Zoo.

“they have to be put into quarantine”

UK's Cefn-yr-Erw Primate Sanctuary seeks money to pay for a place to put baboons. And a green monkey.

“even an orangutan”

Philippine Animal Welfare Society demeans animals with Manila fashion show.

“Our resident chimpanzee population has grown from three to 48”

That's not conserving, that's hoarding!

“63 clues had been received”

Chinese government seeks long-lost Peking Man fragments.

“Some people can help with money, others can help by informing young people”

Jane Goodall has plans for your money and her mouth.

“panic gripped the entire area”

Part of India little affected by the recent earthquake still found it unsettling. By way of example:

The pet monkey of Ompal Samyal flattened his arms and legs and caught hold of the ground

“almost 3 million people have touched Mr. H”

Queen of the Chimps Jane Goodall packs Chico, CA's 1200-seat Laxson Auditorium.

“They often push knives into my tires”

Congolese bushmeat sellers unhappy being called cannibals by hectoring French bonobo fancier.

Goodbye, Anuhea

Juvenile chimpanzee dead of pneumonia at Hawaii's Honolulu Zoo.

“you can help by not purchasing a certain type of wood”

Baby orangutan Baji a big hit at Ohio's Toledo Zoo.

“there was a short circuit”

Monkey rescued after becoming entangled in the wires of a transformer in India's National Institute for Training in Industrial Engineering.

“The person who let him out probably thought he was freeing him”

59-year-old Bill the chimpanzee coaxed from area home after escape from vandalized enclosure at California's Sequoia Park Zoo.

“Mylo is living at the Scranton zoo”

Pennsylvania monkeynaps woman's rhesus.

Bring opera glasses!

Oregon Zoo adds second pygmy marmoset, “the world's smallest monkey”.

More news from GMail

If the bird flu don't get ya the creeping crud from space will!

“semi-wild orang-utans roaming the protected Semenggoh forest”

Given a choice of foods, orangutans will choose durian, among others.

“somatic chimeras of cells derived from two products of conception”

Marmoset facts, on Gene Expression.

“studies with monkeys”

Researchers at Missouri's Washington University School of Medicine say middle ear a vital part of depth perception.

Top News from GMail

Bush Derangement Syndrome, thy name is Crock.

“at least five fatal cases of monkey bites in India every day”

India's Primate Research Centre emphasises that monkey menace must be addressed effectively.

I say, "Don't relay Chinese propaganda!"

&ldquo'The China Daily is reporting”... Which is why I chose to wait for someone else to touch it.

“colony's first baby in 15 years”

Macaque born at Delhi, India's State University College of Technology. Damned handy if India ever runs short of monkeys!

“more likely to survive and pass on their genes”

Scientists say human ancestors used tubers to survive. I know mine did!

“nature has its little way of dealing with that”

Mojo, Belfast Zoo monkey runaway, sent to South Africa's Induna Primate and Parrot Park.

“the importance of reporting suspicious activities with wildlife to the authorities”

Malaysia unable to protect its wildlife.

“said to have furthered general knowledge of evolution”

Jane Goodall performances much in the news of late.

“some chimps actually tiptoe over rocks”

Jane Goodall Institute says chimpanzees stay quiet when scared after experimentally frightening chimpanzees.

“We're doing it just in case”

Mothering lessons for Bess, pregnant orangutan at Arizona's Phoenix Zoo.

“on loan from two different owners”

Miami Metrozoo responds to Animal Rights Foundation of Florida accusations.

“By banning deforestation, burning of dry leaves and use of chemical fertilisers”

India's teachers set the agenda for another generation of hunger, poverty, and hopelessness.

“a major fundraiser for the President’s Circle”

Jane Goodall roadshow to visit University of Texas at Brownsville and Texas Southmost College.

“the longer it goes, it's probably a good thing”

USDA still mulls chimpanzee shootings, Zoo Nebraska still awaits results.

“Catching them all is the hardest part”

They're bringing the animals into heated Winter barns at the Dakota Zoo.

“a parody of themselves”

Consistently kowtowing to leftists harmful to environmentalists? Ya think?

I adopted a penguin and all I got was this stupid card

Found via Tim Blair, it seems that Australia's Penguin Foundation wants you to adopt a penguin, but you don't get to keep it or anything.

“Electron powder and vitamins”

Despite ever-increasing threat of “monkey menace,” Indian zoo obtains additional chimpanzees from Singapore.

“Some consider the pine-resin accent an acquired taste”

Greek wine is reviewed. Retsina is dismissed with a shudder, which'll happen.

“they want food from us, not sexual favours”

India's The Hindu calls for monkey menace to be addressed with “a realistic plan that is also humane.”

“I like to think outside the box”

Alabama Gulf Coast Zoo to be the subject of 13-episode Animal Planet series.

“women have wings that are the same size as men's”

Brazil's Minister of the Environment hobnobs with Jane Goodall as both are feted at Jackson Hole Wildlife Film Festival.

“She was really cute about it”

Jane Goodall brings Roots & Shoots indoctrination tour to Alhambra, CA.

“prosimians, a division of primates”

New director of Duke University Primate Center to spend money on lemurs, the forgotten primate.

But the lemur's gotta go

Indiana Department of Natural Resources allows man with just a touch of animal hoarding to keep a mountain lion and two white tigers (who will eventually kill and partially consume him, but that'll be a story for another day.)

“to visit the mountain gorilla's of Uganda”

Florida woman realizes dream. Gorillas nonplussed.

“larger, stronger and slower”

Wild gorillas observed using tools.

Fairly or not, gorillas have been considered less capable than other great apes, in part because they have not been as extensively studied.

But not making tools, it seems.

Update: more

“they are my employees and I'm their boss”

Zookeeper at Budapest Zoo awfully sure of himself.

“arrogant abuse of a sacred trust”

I'm thinking if I knew how to save dwinding species, I wouldn't count on unsigned editorials to transmit that information.

Of course, if my way to do it was to tell zoos "breed them!", maybe I would.

“her coat remains free of ticks and fleas”

Dog fosters orphaned monkey in Thailand.

You know what acid rain does to limestone?

Iowa's Great Ape Trust commissions life-size 7-ton limestone sculpture of Azy the Orangutan. Statue webcam here.

“I want to stop and see that monkey guy”

Racine, Wisconsin: Man in bigfoot suit leads opposition to auction of YMCA camp.

“agitated and anxious”

Zoo gorillas stressed by crowds of the Irish.

“forced zoo keepers to move tapirs and llamas”

Mississippi's flood-ravaged Hattiesburg Zoo to reopen Wednesday. The howler monkey will be howling from temporary digs.

What to believe, who to believe?

Here we have a story of an ex-Miami Metrozoo chimpanzee now living in terrible conditions.

But here's the Google cache of a story on the author playing the fool outside Neiman Marcus, and here the organization she represents is charged with ties to ALF thugs.

“the army's patience is running thin”

Baboon invasion of South Africa's Zeerust continues unabated.

“U.S. zoos have lost interest in macaques in general”

American Zoo and Aquarium Association convention calls for renewed concentration on conservation, macaques.

“the hungry monkeys will get something to eat”

Hanuman devotees in India start down fatal path of appeasement.

First Yahoo, now the Chimps!

Jane Goodall's “Roots and Shoots” allies with Chinese government to hector school-children and Beijing Olympic Games visitors.

After the Games, when war over Taiwan gets hot, I think we know now who'll command a huge army of fearless blood-thirsty chimpanzees, and who won't.

“President Bongo has set a new standard for wildlife protection”

10% of Gabon to be declared protected wildlife parks.

“a record haul”

20,000 new species expected to be discovered, declared endangered, in 2005.

“and a ring-tail lemur”

Animals at Indiana “squalid exotic animal farm” to be found better homes.

“they failed to get permits”

South African conservationists shocked to learn that baboon festival will feature a baboon. At present, it appears baboon festival will go ahead, but baboon-lessly.

“the fight to ensure the survival of the orang-utan”

It's all about palm oiiiil!!!

“in the Niagara River just north of Niagara Falls”

“Teach a chimpanzee to fish and he will eat for a lifetime&rdquo to be tested at Wildlife Festival 2005 in Lewiston, N.Y.

“a particular kind of monkey that doesn’t hang around the rivers”

Pestering wildlife in the Amazon.

I was there a year and had typhoid fever and systemic staph infections. My hair would fall out. My shoes would turn green just from the moisture in the air." "It’s such a beautiful place."

“torture camp for monkeys”

Lurkers don't support them in email.

“the 1986 nuclear explosion at Chernobyl”

It was International Peace Day, and all Kofi Annan got you was these idiots.

“bathe in a mixed-sex rotenburo with these primates”

Via Barking Moonbat Early Warning System, the Japanese fad for sharing a bath with wild monkeys.

“a silent but deadly fug”

Because the British don't lick doorknobs, I suppose.

“It was kind of freaky”

Dad chagrins California second-grader with gorilla-suit antics at Parent Teacher Club rally.

“My little boy loves watching the bears”

Record attendance at TX's Cameron Park Zoo, orangutans and komodo dragons to follow.

“monkeys also cause rabies”

Cows a major source of rabies in India, says India's National Institute of Communicable Diseases.

'Mhhh! O-h-h! O-h-h!'

As Aramaic was spoken in The Passion of the Christ, so Gorilla will be spoken in King Kong.

“209 rangers have been killed over the past 10 years”

Ugandan Wildlife Ranger may not be a career with a future.

Paying for Katrina relief

Via Instapundit, N.Z. Bear is keeping a list of pork found by bloggers.

“like a little grenade”

Donut blaze prompts IBEW call for something costly to be done.

“$40 and some wire fencing”

Budding entrepreneurs without a business plan may want to consider a federal zoo license.

“learn about Jane Goodall’s Fifi”

Stalking Jane Goodall, with Google Earth

“1990: Komodo Dragon exhibit opens”

Some of the people behind Ohio's Cincinnati Zoo, and a timeline of that zoo.

“I needed to come out and see the monkey”

No room for pet monkeys in Pennsylvania, court reminds woman.

“amok, bamboo, caddy, compound, gong, junk, orang-utan and paddy”

Words that English borrowed from other languages.

Ha! That nasty old avian flu'll never get us now!

Via Possumblog, bubonic plague-laden lab mice gone missing in New Jersey.

Symptoms to watch for.

“great apes do not belong in private hands”

Zoo Nebraska refuses St. Louis Zoo's request for the return of Ripley the chimpanzee.

“beavers came and gnawed down trees”

Canada's Metro Toronto Zoo adds “aboriginal traditional knowledge trail.” Since Indians are all wise and stuff.

“the most visited gag gift and novelty product web site”

PrankPlace Novelties, LLC, vendors of the "Nasty Little Bear" and the "Farting Monkey", relocates to Berlin, CT.

The Journey That Saved Curious George

How the creators of a "curious little monkey" fled from the Nazis.

“we do have high standards”

Gorilla-masked streaker of Syracuse, NY's Union Springs High School can't escape the Principal or the police.

“never-before-seen gorilla behavior”

Wild Chronicles, new PBS wildlife series, to be diluted with tornado chasers. How I loath them.

“despite mounting criticism of the facility”

Blood all mopped up, chimp-less Zoo Nebraska to reopen Wednesday morning.

“Armed with bolt cutters and bleach”

State's chief epidemiologist could be Louisiana's highest-ranking official with a brain.

Hog on Ice calls it

No namby-pamby three strikes stuff in Nebraska.

“He is alone there now”

St. Louis Zoo asks for return of Ripley, the chimpanzee not killed at Zoo Nebraska.

“Pest control is a major problem in New Delhi”

Delhi department of rat-catching no threat to rats.

“through Friday”

Canadian donut-fanciers solicited by pink gorilla.

“It's unethical not to treat them with drugs”

Toledo Zoo animals kept doped to the gills.

“weren't phased in the least by his multiple attempts to tranquilize them”

Three chimpanzees from Zoo Nebraska killed in nearby Royal after escape . A fourth animal, Ripley, was returned unharmed to the zoo.

Update: More.

“Or use banana chips for the ears”

Monkey-themed cupcakes.

MonkeyWatch PSA

Flashbunny unveils Immigration Insanity.

“we put a monkey on stage, who gets hurt badly”

Making Afghan children laugh, German-style.

“law enforcement thwarted their successful efforts at theft”

Guilty pleas on all charges in Wendy's chili swindle attempt.

“the best spent money in my entire life”

Via Rivrdog, an American with a truck.

MonkeyWatch PSA

Everything your mother ever said about dirty money is true. Preface here.

“like trying to walk through a wicker chair”

Gorilla researcher in Uganda has a theory.

“an almost certain need for a culling operation”

If you plan a Gibraltar vacation, expect to be watched by Barbary apes.

“Labuk Bay Proboscis Monkey Sanctuary”

Borneo's endemic proboscis monkeys to be protected.

“apparently a pet”

12-year-old boy reportedly bitten on the ass by Malaysian monkey.

“Human Brain Still Evolving”

Scientists declare hope for <insert (plural) name of political faction you oppose>.

Buy, install, and use windows and doors?

Delhi residents wait for government to wave wand and make monkeys go away.

Damned clever, these chimps

Kyoto University researcher reports that chimpanzees in Bossou, Guinea have been avoiding and destroying animal traps for 30 years.

"The key is being prepared"

Common sense and practical advice at Ripe Bananas.

“Apes and other vegetarians were given fruit-flavored popsicles”

Enrichment programs the hot ticket for zoos.

“Phoebe used a log in her enclosure to climb over a wall”

Chimpanzee recaptured unharmed as warning shots fired in Belfast Zoo escape bid.

“a coyote with mange”

Chicken-killing mystery critter shot and killed in Colemen, TX. Despite absence of sucked goats, el Chupacabras is invoked.

keep it in your pants!

Chinese monkey snatches, eats tourist's money.

Today in history

September 7, 1922: Tarzan of the Apes debuts at NYC's Broadhurst Theatre.

“There are all kinds of things that can go wrong out there”

New Haven Yacht Club interrupts rounds of grabass and hot toddy to denounce property rights for others.

“A white alligator and a black vulture are missing”

Chicago's Lincoln Park Zoo to raise funds for Audubon Zoo in New Orleans.

“resolving conflicts through sex rather than violence”

Founder of Kinshasa bonobo sanctuary calls on Congo conferees to save the "hippies of the forest".

“I'm still waiting for the apology”

PETA racism criticized.

“Goodall delivering a lecture at UND is a dream come true for all of us”

Queen of the Chimps brings her show to University of North Dakota.

“I have been pushing this idea for some time”

Skeleton of Clint, thoroughly-studied chimpanzee, to be preserved at Chicago's Field Museum.

“a large discrepancy between what national conservation laws aim to achieve and what happens on the ground”

Conservation groups say laws ineffective at protecting Sumatran orangutans, demand more laws.

"TRIBES"

Whittle posts.

“This has led to an avalanche of work”

Reviled food additive sodium nitrite shows promising results in treatment of sickle cell anemia, heart attack, brain aneurysm, pulmonary hypertension .

“our projects in Madagascar”

The American Kestrel takes to the field, to be blogged at Lemur Epiphanies.

“a follow-up to similar talks in Paris two years ago”

Representatives of 23 governments and an assortment of conservationists to to ask "how can we save the apes" and "how much tax money can we spend in a week" in Kinshasa, Congo.

“his wife, Addie, wanted to return to the sea”

Terry L. Maple, gorilla behaviorist lately of Georgia's Zoo Atlanta, new chief of Florida's Palm Beach Zoo.

“There are no problems with them living together”

Capybara attacks and kills spider monkey at Japan's Asahiyama Zoo

“three of the females have ovulated and made advances”

Jomo, new stud gorilla at Ohio's Cincinnati Zoo, introduced to the local talent.

“it disregards eons of history”

PETA loons taken to task.

“elephants, orangutans and rhinoceroses have fared relatively well”

Rough time for the critters at New Orleans Audubon Zoo, Aquarium of the Americas, and other Gulf Coast facilities.

"Once DeLuca picked up a monkey that worked for a disabled person"

Road-kill wrangler happy he's not stuck behind a desk.

"it's all the same once it's in the bowl"

Monkey meat a part of fine dining in Libreville, Gabon.

“They call it Wookie in Louisiana”

Swamp Ape faithful find a home at Florida Keys Community College.

I need 500 buses, man!

JunkYardBlog has an even better photo, showing that you've been damn careless with the ones you had (seen at Instapundit.)

“the current national disgrace in New Orleans”

In a post that presages, I imagine, a bout of Rumplestilskin-like foot-stomping, Blue Mass. Group relays news that Gulf naval facilities will be repaired by Halliburton.

"This wretched ape got into my bungalow once and caused chaos"

Malaysian tea-grower has tales to tell.

"he's eaten monkey's brains, tiger penis soup, breast of lion"

Gérard Depardieu will eat anything, it seems. Now, with the publication of his cookbook, you can as well.

Diverting the revenue stream

Lefter-than-thou FoA piles on PETA racism.

"free admission to refugees of Hurricane Katrina"

Katrina evacuees spend a day at Alabama's Montgomery Zoo.

"and even what we might recognise as political systems"

UK accepts EU money for great ape conservation, ignores impending EU demands for great ape self-determination.

"It is diabolic and demonic"

Monkey arrested in Nigeria, but I think police would have preferred arresting its owner.

“wild monkeys sinking down to their neck in the pools”

Thermophilic monkeys and archaea are considered. Well, monkeys are mentioned anyway.

"bears, monkeys, tigers, leopards and lions"

India's Jalpaiguri wildlife sanctuary to rehabilitate banned circus animals.

"the only ape found in India"

Superstition in China and Burma threatens India's endangered Hollock Gibbon.

“It is a double-edged sword”

Peace seen as harmful for orangutans.

“Hey, is that a monkey?”

Helping Hands trains Capuchin monkeys to assist quadriplegics.

"Jane Goodall's celebrity factor will attract plenty of interest to her causes"

Queen of the Chimps to pester Watertown, South Dakota on Sunday.

Random thing about New Orleans

The city's highest point is Monkey Hill inside the zoo

"only 44 in captivity"

Diana monkey (Cercopithecus diana) born at Tulsa Zoo, who offer half-price admission in return for a donation to benefit hurricane victims.

"It's not their job. It's yours."

Feces Flinging Monkey talks sense.

As for donating, I trust the Salvation Army to make good use of the money I donated, and expect Noah's Wish to do likewise. Instapundit has a big list of charities.

"Its captors are demanding bar snacks"

Toy monkey held for ransom in UK.

"we reached a point beyond the horrific monkey’s power"

Famous last words after mountain climbers tempt fate.

Gloom & Doom, with full-color plates

United Nations publishes World Atlas of Great Apes and their Conservation. Makes a great gift.

"small, worn and stained"

California Academy of Sciences anthropologist finds oldest first-ever chimpanzee fossil teeth: 500,000 years old.

DisasterWatch

Libertarian blogger tjic.com has all the latest on looting in the aftermath of Katrina.

Not monkey-related

You thought it'd be romantic, right?

"the monkey was damp and hungry when found"

Dillion, Ohio's blue-pants-clad monkey no longer missing.

"she noticed her number plate was gone"

Bridgetown, Barbados plagued by monkey destroying license plates.

All Singing! All Dancing! All Humming!

Monica! The Musical! to premiere Sept 21 at the New York Musical Theatre Festival.

That sounds about right

Researchers at UC Berkeley and Lawrence Berkeley National Laboratory say various bits of your brain age differently. Lately my short-term memory part seems exceptionally old.

“named Chanee meaning 'Gibbon' in Thai”

Australia's Western Plains Zoo displays four-week-old siamang.

Update: More, with photo.

DisasterWatch

Many good Katrina links at Alpaca Burger Forum.

"an urgent appeal to the international community"

Primatologists worked hard to develop the Regional Action Plan for Conservation of Chimpanzees and Gorillas in Western Equatorial Africa. Now, who's got $30 million handy, hmmm?

"the search for a mate continues"

New digs for Honolulu Zoo's Rusti the orangutan nearing the brink of fruition. Girlfriend prospects not so hot.

That's all normal, then

Leftists in monkey masks call for impeachment of Philippines President Gloria Arroyo.

“I don’t know when it occurred”

Monkey sculpture vandalized in Loveland Colorado.

meta, meta, meta

Something's wrong at Haloscan, site loads OK once their stuff is commented out. Normalcy returns.

"We get quite a lot of monkeys"

UK's Exotic Pet Refuge, where buyer's remorse goes to live.

A sort of civet, actually, not a monkey.

Kopi Luwak is name-checked in this list that capitalizes on the "coffee is good for you" meme.

“I must admit that I cackled gleefully at some of these gibes”

The Cultured Chimpanzee: Reflections on Cultural Primatology is reviewed. Quite a read, it seems, though apparently the jokes are all academic in-jokes.