"Aging, weakening leadership some compare to the national government"

Political instability among the macaques of Japan's Mount Takasaki Monkey Land National Park.

And, Rowland must go.

"Many in the queue were even armed with sleeping bags"

Singapore goes ape for gets McDonalds toy monkeys.

And, Rowland must go.

Eoanthropus dawsoni, et al

10 great cases of fraudulent science, including Piltdown man.

And, Rowland must go.

"What if they never leave?’’

Monkey vandals in Mumbai.

And, Rowland must go.

"monkeys are not native to the Korean peninsula"

Seoul's National Folk Museum displays monkey-related antiquities.

And, Rowland must go.

“They are just trying to get by"

Conservation biologist Michael Gavin documents (and makes excuses for) chimpanzees in Uganda and Tanzania eating human children. (Times link, requires registration, or use laexaminer/laexaminer)

Update: Here it is, without the registration hassle.

And, Rowland must go.

"You've got to see the monkey. I love the monkey"

Dallas-area man puts up Christmas decorations, local paper covers it on 12/26.

And, Rowland must go.

"they catch on quickly to most anything so don’t plot to steal their banana cake"

An astrological discourse on the nature of those born in the Year of the Monkey, from the Philippines.

And, Rowland must go.

"All of this is very feng shui, very logical things"

Guam gets hosed down to ring in the Year of the Monkey.

And, Rowland must go.

"Siswi, a dominant female, stole their soap"

UK couple find love among the orangutans.

And, Rowland must go.

"They can disembowel you if you're not careful"

Frisky's Wildlife and Primate Sanctuary helps capture run-away emu in Maryland.

And, Rowland must go.

"She is doing fine now"

Gorilla Glue neither food nor dog food.

And, Rowland must go.

"The farmers attacked police with rocks and hit police buses with metal"

South Korean communists treated to enforced bathing. Lop buri monkey hospital mentioned in an unrelated story later on the page.

And, Rowland must go.

"smell the kangaroo that smells like maple syrup"

The wonders of Florida's "Monkey Jungle" and various other roadside animal parks and wildlife sanctuaries.

And, Rowland must go.

"This does not sound like the Ebola virus"

Zimbabwe has requested South African help with suspected ebola case, meanwhile insisting that it's not ebola, probably.

And, Rowland must go.

meta, meta, meta

I've noted many Hartford Courant articles while looking for Rowland links, but haven't used any of them. Someone else explains why.

And, Rowland must go.

"A polished silver fork dangled from Adams’ right ear"

Hateful dwarf Kucinich gets endorsement from socialist clown Patch Adams who touts his friendship with the UN-appointed Queen of the Chimps.

And, Rowland must go.

"life goes on inside"

North Dakota's Roosevelt Park Zoo closed for the winter.

And, Rowland must go.

"not only in case of dog bites, but also to patients bitten by jackals, monkeys, foxes, cats and even for rat and bat bites"

Hindu Rao Hospital's rabies clinic posts "anti-rabies vaccine is not available here" sign.

And, Rowland must go.

"the only zoo in the world set in redwoods"

California's Sequoia Park Zoo, home of 58-year-old Bill the chimpanzee (a serial feces-flinger), losing zookeeper to retirement.

And, Rowland must go.

"Beck isn't sure how she caught the bug from her chimp pal"

Meanwhile, also at Victoria Falls, cross-species susceptability is played as a human interest filler.

And, Rowland must go.

"the case was still only suspected, not confirmed"

Possible ebola case at Victoria Falls.

And, Rowland must go.

"the review of the zoo's animal care now being carried out by the National Academy of Sciences"

Senator and physician Bill Frist defends the National Zoo.

And, Rowland must go.

"Astrologers see another peaceful year coming"

I predict Malaysian astrologers sadly mistaken.

And, Rowland must go.

The news sites are just recycling old news today

But, thanks to fresh potatoes, another entry for the list on the right, Spanglemonkey.

And, Rowland must go.

"nine candidate primates" - what does this remind me of?

Itozu Zoo visitors choose Japanese macaque as Year of the Monkey mascot.

And, Rowland must go.

"Now go watch the monkeys"

Via A Whole Lotta Nothing, Johnny Cash's cover of Desperado, with monkeys.

And, Rowland must go.

"I wanted to surprise people"

Frans de Waal's My Family Album: Thirty Years of Primate Photography

And, Rowland must go.

Ecotourism sphere

Various Japanese groups to save great apes.

And, Rowland must go.

"red faces and rumps have become ubiquitous"

Japan gets ready for the Year of the Monkey.

And, Rowland must go.

"an annoying result of flawed textual exploration"

"Red Peter the Dancing Monkey"

And, Rowland must go.

"At some houses, it might be a monkey"

Cameroon, destination that bleeding heart types want 'taiping four' deported to, a hotbed of bushmeat activity.

And, Rowland must go.

"impudent, imported monkeys"

Australian paper says Russians go crazy for Chinese New Year monkeys.

And, Rowland must go.

"gorilla and polar bear had to be removed from the premises"

9-year-old raises $37k for Fresno's decaying Chaffee Zoo.

And, Rowland must go.

"Brazil is the largest source of wildlife on the global black market"

Amazon wildlife trade hides behind children.

And, Rowland must go.

...and Bruce here teaches logical positivism. And is also in charge of the sheep dip.

Paarl, Australia's Tygerberg Zoo celebrates the first anniversary of the arrival of Emma, the chimpanzee and today's arrival of Emma, the baby kookaburra.

And, Rowland must go.

"South Africa has no native gorillas"

National Council of Societies for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals denies asylum for refugee 'Taiping Four', demands they be deported back to Cameroon.

And, Rowland must go.

"Give ’em a show, cowboy"

The Tommy Lucia Revue features Whiplash The Cowboy Monkey.

And, Rowland must go.

"Must. Have. Monkey Balls."

Apparently, Michele's looking for Monkey Balls.

And, Rowland must go.

"Show me an analyst who's so easy to understand''

Today Show returns to its roots.

And, Rowland must go.

"intoxicated people tend to make bad choices"

Drunken monkeys, drunken worms.

And, Rowland must go.

pygmy marmosets, tarantulas, parrots, poison arrow frogs, lizards and snakes ousted

Scotland's Ama-Zone-ia Rainforest Experience loses lease due to dorky name.

And, Rowland must go.

"The chimp was rushed to the hospital in time"

The Times of India fooled by spoof story of suicide attempt by Michael Jackson's chimpanzee.

"we have info on thousands of ex-zippers in our database"

Trans-Siberian Train presents Monkey Business Shrine.

And, Rowland must go.

Somebody let me know how it turns out

Christmas Zoo Fest at Uganda Wildlife Education Centre.

And, Rowland must go.

"a total sampling is practically impossible in time and space"

European Space Agency to photograph Ebola hotspots.

And, Rowland must go.

Columbus Zoo home to world's first captive born gorilla, Colo, 47 years old today.

And, Rowland must go.

"We didn't think we could do this before"

Herpes treatement being tested. Monkey cells are the growth medium.

And, Rowland must go.

"The entry fee will rise to $9.95 for people ages 12 to 59"

Louisville Zoo to increase admission cost.

And, Rowland must go.

Check your Amish Tech Support Dead Pool picks

Harold von Braunhut, marketer of Amazing Sea Monkeys, dead at 77.

And, Rowland must go.

"It was blond"

Himalayan hike story enhanced with tale of Yeti.

And, Rowland must go.

"Evolution has tried to destroy the truth"

European creationists, and worse, convene to swap lies and nod sagely.

And, Rowland must go.

"the mother showed no maternal instinct"

Johannesburg Zoo adds baby baboon, others.

And, Rowland must go.

"could date back to the time when early humans began eating more meat"

Scientists say 'chimpanzees and humans might be even more similar were it not for what researchers call "lifestyle" changes'. The curious case of the Queen of the Chimps is not explained.

And, Rowland must go.

"I will go next month to Washington to discuss the potentials of the Batang Gadis forest"

North Sumatra to declare Batang Gadis forest a national park next month. "The forest is home to a variety of rare species like the Sumatran orangutan, Sumatran tiger, Sumatran rhino, Sumatran elephant and monkeys, said officials."

And, Rowland must go.

"both a blessed and cursed existence"

The Hanuman langur monkeys of Jodhpurin India, Warriors of the Monkey God.

And, Rowland must go.

The Postman Always Vomits Twice

When he discovers a rotting monkey carcass.

And, Rowland must go.

"discontinue all programmes to entertain children"

Sri Lankan anti-human elements applaud cancellation of pony rides.

And, Rowland must go.

"which give off a slight odour"

Elephant dung Christmas cards. Don't tell Rudy!

And, Rowland must go.

"rich, multi-cultural heritage"

USPS to complete Lunar New Year series with release of Year of the Monkey stamp.

And, Rowland must go.

Surrender Monkeys: "Nix to Nazo"

France bans stuffed monkey: offensive to schizophrenics.

Via LGF, Saudi Arabia bans all stuffed toys.

And, Rowland must go.

PETA's not going to like this

Ghana takes an interest in "Sustainable Bushmeat Trade".

And, Rowland must go.

"Ugandans are famous for being very friendly and hospitable"

Uganda should emphasise gorilla tracking, other features to attract more tourists.

And, Rowland must go.

"Ouch"

The Economist says: a chimpanzee wouldn't yank out the hair from its genital regions, and neither should you.

And, Rowland must go.

"shots of him wearing a diaper and sleeping in a crib"

PETA mad at Hugh Hefner over macaque.

And, Rowland must go.

"Houses would become more affordable as fewer people bid on them"

Providence Journal columnist Froma Harrop calls for human extinction.

And, Rowland must go.

"Temperatures are expected to hover in the 50s and low 60s for the next few days"

Florida temperatures plummet, heaters deployed for monkeys, other zoo inmates.

And, Rowland must go.

Like coals to Newcastle

Delhi Zoo to get new female lion-tailed macaque. "Found primarily in the evergreen forests of the Western Ghats they feed on banana, gram, green leaves and seasonal fruits." Just a homonym, I guess.

"the two paintings have not been recovered"

Dutch prosecutors announce the detention of "The Monkey"'s (or "ape"'s) accomplice, who apparently hasn't earned a colorful moniker yet.

"There are now no active cases of Ebola in the Congo Republic"

WHO says nobody's died in two weeks, ebola outbreak's done, nothing to see here, move along. But warned the deadly virus could return, perhaps striking a major city.

it's a boy

Louisville Zoo sexes their new gorilla.

"Activities include special feedings of the Komodo dragon"

From December 20, 2003 through January 2, 2004, free admission for anyone 13 and younger to Pittsburgh Zoo & PPG Aquarium, thanks to Citizens Bank of Pennsylvania & Giant Eagle. Kids can help Zoo employees wrap the gorilla gift boxes.

"dangerous international delinquent"

International art thief "The Monkey" nabbed in Spain.

Update: or else he's called the ape, and also Octave D. They're not making international thieves the way they used to.

"Who's going to pay for it?''

Fast-growing, more accurate, flu vaccine techniques, including growing the vaccine on African green monkey kidney cells said to be hampered by regulatory, financial hurdles.

"It goes against human dignity"

Reuters in a quandary. Look ma, no scare quotes.

"I'm going to be a doctor and a pundit"

Florida Hindus honor monkey god.

"sad event that none of us expected and none of us could have prevented either"

One orangutan kills another at zoo in Slovakia.

"I was so angry at the way the U.N. was trashed by the Bush administration"

Queen of the Chimps guzzles espresso, cultivates personality cult.

Open Wide, Monkeyboy!

Yes!

Update: "The tyrant is a prisoner," Bremer said.

Zoning commission must be real pushovers

Florida's Center for Captive Chimpanzee Care, a pie well-fingered by the Queen of the Chimps, to open doors to another 266 former research chimps, begin building invincible chimp army.

"Some scientists have questioned their work"

Sympathetic Telegraph article on the eccentric Siddles and their Chimfunshi Wildlife Orphanage, home to 100 chimps. "there is a 98 per cent match between the genes of humans and chimps"

Year of the Monkey tchotchkes

Hong Kong offers philatelists "a propitious souvenir for the Lunar New Year".

"We all want to see safe drugs and cures to human diseases, but"

Now the anti-vivisectionists point the finger at Germany. Queen of the Chimps muscles in to have her say.

"Criticism of the theory of evolution does not translate into another theory"

Intellegent Design advocates use statistics. charts, and graphs to try to lull Montanans into believing their big lie with mixed success.

Us, but not necessarily the French

"Hearing and smell may separate us from chimps".

Queen of the Chimps enslaves little school kids

Wilsonville OR elementary students make compost. "Kennedy will probably discuss the remaining issues after the holidays with a group of six fourth-graders from three classes who attended the Roots and Shoots Conference in October with chimpanzee researcher Jane Goodall."

"They kind of laughed and said that's just the way it is"

More trouble at National Zoo: colobus dead, cheetah infected, vermin run rampant. Leptospirosis.

Operation Give news

Scripps Howard moves Chief Wiggles story along with others. Starting to show up in your local newspaper.

He'll feel right at home, I'm sure

Dian Fossey Gorilla Fund to award Ted Turner at the UN.

Now we can build our own from scratch!

NIH releases initial draft of chimpanzee genome.

"leaving a fecal deposit on her head"

Monkeys make bad pets.

"a dubious and illogical offer from South Africa was apparently accepted"

International intrigue in the disposition of four western lowland gorillas.

Coming next: dung shui

Zookeepers act as enablers for monkey-house stinkers. "The Denver Zoo is believed to be one of the first to try it on animals."

More barn doors due to be locked, securely

Rare-animal theft ring caught in Japan.

99 percent genetically identical and so on

Swedes demand release of chimp caught in tangled web of misfeasance, malfeasance, and nonfeasance. Also, orangutan boxing.

"commended the people of Boabeng-Fiema for co-habiting with the monkeys"

Ghana to construct clinic for people, tourist center at Boabeng-Fiema, home of monkey sanctuary.

"The mom is being a great mom"

All's well with Louisville's new baby gorilla.

Gravity's next

Montana I.D. advocates have their say.

"the percentage of people developing the disease after coming into contact with an infected person was also rising"

Congo ebola outbreak death count now at 29.

"Bulago is just four miles from Ngamba Island, which is home to the jewel in the crown of Uganda's wildlife, the Chimpanzee"

Uganda's vacation hotspot, Bulago Island.

Good for the goose

Lying Liars.

Positive Results

Press release reporting results in trials of drug to reduce immune system damage in radiation therapy and chemotherapy. Rhesus macaques were tested.

Coincidence?

Hindustan Times reports that number of monkeys in Jharkhand increasing while other wildlife declining.

Shiny!

Canadian mint produces Year of the Monkey rounds.

"human trials on an inactivated SARS vaccine could begin as early as next January"

Monkey trials of SARS vaccine continue to be encouraging.

"Zoo officials said the tests were not done because the veterinarians were busy"

The conclusion of Washington Post's coverage of problems at the National Zoo. Sidebar on staffing problems here.

"Some people also have ethical objections to the rearing of humanized animals as organ factories"

Engineered pig organs survive in monkeys.

"You know, I may have said her liver looks funny to me."

Washington Post alleges pattern of mistakes, altered veterinary records in deaths of 23 animals at the National Zoo in the past six years.

"Do you think that humans are more brutal than chimps?"

Fawning Japan Times interview for latest idoru, Queen of the Chimps.

Disturbing referrers

Not disturbing, unless it's a motto.

Disturbing referrers

You don't want one.

"At the premiere of King Kong I wasn't too impressed"

Behind-the-screen details on 1933 King Kong.

Ask them when they're not hungry, and be ready to duck

Food handouts at Hanuman festival attract locals regardless of religion. Says temple priest Avadhbihari, "ask any poor Muslim or a poor Hindu and he would say that god is the same despite his many names."

"Coming soon: Refrigeration!"

Via /., the Bar Monkey.

Update: GPL'd alternative.

Boh Ada Ummph!

Malaysia's Boh Plantations tea company sponsors www.orangutan.com.

“The whole thing was geared toward developing knowledge of Japanese culture”

Air Force dependants at Yokota West Elementary School watch performing monkey troupe.

OK, we got the barn door locked good now

Franklin Park Zoo to reopen gorilla exhibit, minus Little Joe and cohort Okie.

Congratulations JoJo and Makari!

Louisville gets a new gorilla.

"They genetically altered an adenovirus"

SARS vaccine trials called encouraging.

Disturbing referrers

+china +"monkey brain" +eating

Was he looking for details, or recipes?

"dozens of macaque monkey skulls were still available in a market across the border "

Thailand acts against illegal wildlife trade, conservation groups garner headlines by approving.

"Woodland Park's primates now living in meticulously designed natural habitats"

Seattle's Woodland Park Zoo demolishes its Primate House.

"47 cases have been identified of Ebola"

Congo Ebola outbreak death count rises to 26.

"As serious as Baeckler's claims are, there is no video, audiotape or witnesses to support them"

Malibu's Amazing Animal Actors alleged to engage in monkey abuse.

"heredity has a surprisingly important impact"

“Similarities in Affiliation and Aggression Between Cross-Fostered Rhesus Macaque Females and Their Biological Mothers” published.

Your tax dollars at work

Looking to get in the news, Putnam Co., NY went on record supporting a section of the Americans with Disabilities Act, even if it means monkeys in supermarkets. "Putnam Legislator Sam Oliverio doesn't know of any disabled person in Putnam having a service monkey. But he wants the county's laws to be ready in case someone goes into a store with a monkey."

Isn't this, umm, already the law?

"traditional holiday scenes"

Palm Springs conservation park "holiday" display includes a gorilla family as part of 250,000 twinkling lights.

Festive.

"they're harder to catch than your regular domesticated pets"

Lop Buri Zoo opens Thailand's first monkey hospital.

Update: more.

"But not everyone is happy"

Pretoria Zoo to get four western lowland gorillas who've done some travelling.

"There will be no roof, no walls, no ceiling"

Australia's Mogo Zoo to give two new chimps "a 9,000 square metre home, surrounded by a moat rather than a cage."

Life after monkeys

From "High Fashion Week in Moscow", the ass bra.

Year of the Monkey starts Jan 22

Don't forget to stock up on festive Communist ingots. "They didn't rule out the possibility that some people would maliciously rush to buy the gold bars for investment purposes. To prevent from this situation, the officials said their company has required the gold bar producer to increase the supply."

Of Interest to Online Monkeys

Chiquita Brands International (one of the largest banana producers in the world) will hold its second annual analyst and investor day on Tuesday, Dec. 16, 2003. The presentation will be accessible remotely by telephone or over the Internet.

I admit it, it's been a couple of slow monkey news days

Surrender monkeys in the news.

Good news for monkeys in Cameroon!

Cameroon to subsidize bananas, plantains.

"The program includes a visit from one of the zoo's lemurs"

San Francisco Zoo to shed light on lemurs.

Don't complain to me when they expect the same tomorrow!

Thai town feasts 3,000 monkeys.

Non-Monkey News

The 2004 Amish Tech Support Dead Pool is now accepting rosters.

"It's expected that more than 200 chimpanzees will eventually be located at Chimp Haven"

Chimp Haven builder named.

Stitches, stud-monkey

Launceston City Park makes monkeys the old-fashioned way.