She's still alive??!?

Heiress Grace Slick tells the government to phase out the use of chimpanzees in invasive experiments. I predict this will come to tears when she finds she would have benefited from an as-yet-nonexistent medical treatment.

Enrichment

An orangutan eating a pumpkin is seen in these photos taken at Washington DC's National Zoo.

Happy Birthday, Vila!

52-year-old western lowland gorilla, 3rd oldest in the US, celebrates birthday at San Diego Zoo's Wild Animal Park. Peanut butter-frosted banana ice cake was served.

“fatal mauling”

Everyone loses when a zookeeper goes bush.

hint:

bacon always makes you feel better.

More dignified than Wellstone funeral

National Geographic Magazine photographs chimpanzees at Cameroon's Sanaga-Yong Chimpanzee Rescue Center watching as the body of one of their own is buried.

Stay alive, don't buy Chinese!

Halloween Flashlights Sold Exclusively at Target Recalled Due to Burn Hazard

Sony Recalls Computer AC Adapters Due to Shock Hazard

Stay alive, don't buy Chinese!

Belkin International Inc. Recalls SurgeMaster™ Surge Protectors Due to Shock Hazard

Near Strangulation of Child Prompts Recall of Roman Shades by Whole Space; Sold Exclusively by Hanover Direct/Domestications

Near Strangulation of Children Prompts Recall of Roman Shades by Louis Hornick & Co.; Sold Exclusively at Bed Bath & Beyond

“This is so different from the woman in Stamford”

Fleet-of-foot residents of toney Greenwich, CT may be protected in case of cheetah escape from Lionshare Farm.

“utterly morally reprehensible”

UK food critic AA Gill shoots a baboon just to watch it die!

“grant money, time, and monkey eggs”

Stem cell faker Woo Suk Hwang convicted in Korean court.

Stay alive, don't buy Chinese!

Flatware Recalled by Cambridge Silversmiths Due to Choking Hazard

Coby Electronics Recalls Rechargeable Batteries Sold with Portable DVD/CD/MP3 Players Due to Fire Hazard

“agoraphobia and anxiety disorder”

Springfield, MO. woman's monkey ruled not a service animal.

Who's your daddy?

Trouble among the evolutionary biologists!

Stay alive, don't buy Chinese!

Idea Village Recalls Wireless Light Switches Due to Fire Hazard

Haunted House Screen Candle Holders Recalled by Coyne’s & Co. Due to Fire Hazard; Sold Exclusively at Yankee Candle

Stay alive, don't buy Chinese!

Raynor Marketing Recalls Quantum Office Chairs Due to Fall Hazard; Sold Exclusively at Office Depot Stores

“The poor animal had mastoiditis”

Scienceblogs blogger Corpus Callosum on a Gorilla in a CAT Scanner.

(The surgery was successful).

Goodbye, Fifi

49-year-old chimpanzee Fifi, one of the oldest female chimps in North America, dead at the Toledo Zoo. Necropsy will follow.

“should be treated like a workers' compensation claim”

Owner says I'm sorry my chimpanzee ruined your body and your life, but it shouldn't cost me a fortune, too!

Ape name news

An infant gorilla at Omaha's Henry Doorly Zoo is newly-named Hadari. A baby chimpanzee in Arkansas waits for a naming contest next month.

“central government has assured cooperation”

More promises that action, to date, in combating monkey menace in Himachal Pradesh, India.

“it only takes one monkey to replace a newspaper’s sports department”

Big News to begin replacing robot-like reporters with robotic reporters.

“kids talk back to you”

Recently-rescued baboon tries to adjust to new environment.

“I am suffering from a high fever today”

Brachiation is espoused.

Prediction for 2010:

Roman Polanski has something special to look forward to!

“fatally injured by the 50,000 Volt raw current”

Kenyan groups seeks help in protecting local monkeys.

“wild animals should not be kept as pets”

Captive baboon rescued from Kentucky garage. (Hint: there's a job opening down at Cooter's now, for the right man.)

An undocumented primate?

A monkey escaped its owner in Basehor, KS. It returned without further incident, but police want to see proof of a monkey permit.

Stay alive, don't buy Chinese!

Wooden Toys Recalled by Daiso Due to Choking Hazard

I guess the rules are different for celebrities

Doesn't the boss pooching the hired help usually lead to recriminations and lawsuits?

Update: Now the recrimations aplenty! Still waiting for the other shoe, though. (h/t)

“zoo's first baby orangutan in 17 years”

Orangutan born at Philadelphia Zoo.

“fewer than a dozen times on gorillas”

Cataract surgery for Josephine, a 42-year-old gorilla at FL's Miami Metrozoo.

h/t: Gateway Pundit

Garrison Keillor: Soylent Green is Republicans!

“my friends at PETA”

Movie phenomenon without-a-reason Benicio Del Toro would rather watch your family die untreated than see one precious monkey harmed. All show-folk are the enemies of decent people.

“1.2 million years older than the skeleton of Lucy”

Partial reconstruction of Ardi, a 4.4 million-year-old Ardipithecus ramidus, the oldest known hominid skeleton.

Update: UPI claims Kent State University Professor C. Owen Lovejoy insists they evolved from us, not we from they!

Update: Maybe a more accurate interpretation is Kent State University Professor C. Owen Lovejoy insists we didn't evolve from Ardipithecus ramidus, both we and they evolved from a common ancestor.

Where UPI evolved from, nobody's saying.