“The monkey's name was Phyllis”

Alabama man gets back his monkey, still named Phyllis. Phyllis the monkey.

The Insurrection begins!

Baboons raid Saudi Arabian capital. Imagine: toothy monkeys now control the world's largest petroleum field.

Put Up or Shut Up

You're free to spend your own money on it, ya know.

It's a way of life!

At The Monkey Tennis Centre, archbishop in a burqa.

“Lemur in Latin means ghost”

Denver Zoo adds Mongoose lemurs.

“throwing dirt clumps, stones, and sticks”

Wildlife Conservation Society trains gorillas in weapons use.

Bulbous also tapered

A squirrel eating jelly donuts in a polyethylene bag.

“moving to Des Moines”

Democrat presidential candidate Chris Dodd flees Connecticut.

“a great danger to the organized labor movement”

Kentucky legend the Parkes Monkey: monkeys at work in Kentucky's rolling hemp fields.

“Nuclear-armed monkeys”

The MediaBlog spills the beans (or bananas!) on the red flag of simian revolution.

“Li Bao”

Gibbon christened.

“Monkeys are wreaking havoc”

Monkey gangs dominate northern India. “The state government has formed a panel to study the problem”

“in harmony with nature”

Real estate column, blighted by monkeys.

“cancer-causing monkey viruses”

Twoofers aren't the only nut-jobs. A new take on a classic conspiracy obsession.

Monkey shortage averted!

Scientists announce monkey-embryo cloning success. World rejoices.

“where did it come from”

Donut-eating undocumented ape haunts the Florida back-country.

“Bad times -- probably very bad times -- are coming”

Nanny Bloomberg dips toe in the water for independent Presidential run (followed by appointment as Hillary's Transfat Czar).

That Corvair thing was a crock, too

In typical Google news “blast from the past” fashion, we're treated to prediction by astute political commentator Ralph Nader of the then-impending victory of Ned “What Me Worry” Lamont over then-and-current Connecticut Senator Joe Lieberman.

“rogue animal”

Bloody monkey rampage reported in New Delhi.

Update: Collared.

“We're talking evolution”

Hitting all the tourist traps on the Scopes Monkey Trail.

“A warrant is out”

Monkey-stealing charged in Missouri.

“a high-level alert”

Texas ensafened by capture of dangerous research chimpanzee.

“Aqua Dots”

An exciting new poison from China for the kiddies in time for Christmas.

Short, tasteless

Forewarned.

No Great Surprise, Really

What's “Smarter Than Liberals”, at Weasel Zippers.

“A lot of nonsense has been written on the subject”

Fritz de Waal to address “Our Inner Ape&rdquo.

Smelled right!

Would-be stoners in Pennsylvania mistakenly steal monkeys, have mom return same.

“a $2 million federal grant”

Trouble brewing as Santa Claus, IN, adds “$1.7 million monkey-themed attraction”. Details of attraction unclear, I predict jolly elf vs. monkey knife fight.

With the Grinch's dog. Everybody loves that dog.

“wanted for questioning”

On the trail of a bitey monkey in Columbia, Mo.

“on their way to a Maryland laboratory”

53 monkeys in a pickup truck involved in motor vehicle collision on Ohio highway.

“It's what those monkey arms are for”

Space station repair successful, nobody electrocuted.

Screaming as they ran

The Other 95% on Germany's lobsters playing The Great Escape. (Thanks to Sissy Willis.)

Scandentia

Meet the Flying Lemur, which doesn't fly nor is it a lemur.

I question the timing!

Oct 20: Deputy Mayor of Delhi, India, killed by rag-tag renegade band of Rhesus macaques.
Nov 1: American scientists announce successfully decoding Rhesus macaque DNA.

No word on trial run of artificial assassin-monkeys?

Just business, nothing personal

China against the world. (Tip to Protein Wisdom.)