“It's just standard procedure”

Chimpanzee-on-the-run gunned down at UK's Whipsnade Zoo.

“It wasn't really like an escape”

"You'll never build a cage that'll hold me!" snarled the un-named spider monkey, but within 20 minutes keepers at the Dallas Zoo had proven her wrong.

“a woman and her pet monkey”

Rash of Missouri monkey-bitings now at two.

“I was never given a clue”

Soi-disant Bright Richard Dawkins auto-mocked in coming intelligent design propaganda movie Expelled, No Intelligence Allowed.

“Appomattox County Sheriff's Office is investigating”

Monkey-search underway in Appomattox County Virginia.

“or persons with interests?”

Austrian court declines to declare a chimpanzee a person.

Made my morning complete

“still has nightmares”

Girl injured in 2003 Franklin Park Zoo gorilla attack testifies “too scared to run”.

Update: $175K sleep aid.

“high levels of lead”

I don't think Mattel is taking the blame for this.

“Please Read and Re-Post”

The American street is called to action.

Shame, shame!

Senate votes against Moveon Petraeus slander. Roll-call here (Dodd pro-slander).

“psychological damage”

No testimony from Little Joe the gorilla in Boston Franklin Park Zoo trial.

The rest of us are still laughing!

Whiny child has friends.

“We have an aging population of gorillas”

Surgery for fibroid tumors for gorilla at Chicago's Brookfield Zoo.

“a fistful of nuts”

Thanks to Sissy Willis for mailing this story about Democrats stuck in the monkey trap.

And They Watched Her!

Princess Anne amuses herself with a day of gibbon-watching.

“caused operations to be stalled for a few hours”

Monkey tosses spanner in the works at New Delhi's airport.

“Crab-eating Macaques”

Diving monkeys aren't photographed at California's Folsom City Zoo.

“positive attention from the females”

These three chimps walk into a fruit bar.

Sucks to be you

Osama late to the dance, losing out to Rage Boy in lucrative “next Che” T-shirt market.

First victory for Bin Laden tape!

Southwest Airlines to mandate burkha policy for female passengers.

Gives BDS sufferers a complex

Trinidad & Tobago's Bush Bush Island, ecotourism in the sun.

“which land next week”

Return of Trunk Monkey!

“I've never done this kind of thing before”

Careless New Zealand exposes 104-year-old to hungry monkey.

“for what I have caused”

Senator Craig defends his heterosexuality, intends to hold his seat, demands an apology and a reach-around.

“could damage a child's organs if swallowed”

Mattel looks to pay the price of doing business with Chinese slave-masters.

UN stands by, offers recipes

Guerillas meet, eat gorillas in the Democratic Republic of Congo.