Individually and as a group

They'll roast our stomachs in hell. We've heard this before. Iraq's National Resistance and their pals in the US can both fuck themselves.

Silly us!

“We Westerners see insects or monkey's brains as weird foods”

“Finished”

Sandmonkey hangs it up.

“routinely added to animal feed”

Boycott China, free Tibet.

“deceptively strong”

Kiefer Sutherland fears orangutans. Also copy editors.

“returned to earth safely”

04/28/1959: monkeys in space.

“We imitate the birds and monkeys”

Ecuador's Andes Manta hopes to attract new listeners.

“some monkeys moved out to their summer area yesterday”

Spring comes to North Dakota.

“kind of ruined the Earth”

Land of steady habits invaded by Jane Goodall.

Huh. I didn't even know she was sick!

Portland OR has a Jane Goodall Environmental Middle School. Chest-beating trumps reading, I betcha.

“transferred to an upstate New York zoo”

Tennessee's Memphis Zoo now gorilla-less.

“like China”

Would-be monkey scheduled for ritual abusiture by PETA.

“easily identifiable”

Brooklyn band The Violet Hour loses toy monkey Mr. Monkey.

“terrified of a monkey once”

Renfeild finds a fellow diner in India.

“monkeys could acquire meta-cognitive skills”

I think, therefore I am. Ook, ook.

“a slow but steady comeback,”

Uganda's gorillas keep refusing to become extinct.

“they are distinct populations”

Chimpanzees: paragons of diversity.

Camping will never be the same!

Monkey or human, your ear-towel is obsolete!

“a pair of highly endangered black and white ruffed Lemurs”

Lemurs added at Santa Barbara Zoo.

Rules Declared

Staring is not permitted.

“driving with an obstructed view”

Eager policeman busts drug smuggler with toy monkey stuffed with hydrocodone, Xanax, and Soma, which smell like marijuana, it seems.

Goodbye, Tabitha

26-year-old female gorilla at Calgary Zoo dead after seizure.

“More Evolved Than Humans?”

Uppity chimpanzees getting a bit above themselves.

“godawful cartoon”

Call issued to omit Chim-Chim from coming live-action Speed Racer.

“He probably doesn't know he is a bamboo lemur”

Bilbo looks for a family.

“The baboons are aggressive”

Prospect Park Zoo keeper on adventure tour in Belize.

“like the hairy-eared dwarf-lemur of Madagascar”

The threat of another Earth Day looms large. If only I'd hit the first one over the head.

“These fuzzy animals are key”

We now have the plans to build a rhesus macaque.

“S'Alright? S'Alright!”

There's a reason they're called "lesser apes", ya know

San Francisco Zoo keepers to rear Sungai, a widely unwanted female Siamang.

“which also owns Madame Tussauds waxworks”

Gorillas threaten to down tools at UK's Chessington World of Adventures.

“helps scientists retrieve data”

Zoo Atlanta orangutans to pwn with new arboreal computing initiative.

“with children rarely being injured”

Parents at Walla Walla (second only to Kankakee in absurd name sweepstakes) demand new monkey bars.

“as the world's oldest chimp”

Cheetah, of Tarzan fame, celebrates 75th birthday.

“ate or tasted another monkey's vomit”

Eewe.

“He tells a lot of jokes about the presidents”

Darwin descendant entertains students, eschews knuckle-walking.

Snip, snip!

65,000 monkeys to get sterilised in India's Himachal Pradesh state.

“tests are being run”

Pair of siamangs dead of undetermined causes at Kentucky's Louisville Zoo.

"brown lipstick doesn't look good on anyone" -- Frank Zappa

“is just us paying attention”

New director at Dallas Zoo sets record.

Maybe blame George Bush?

New York's Binghamton Zoo at Ross Park seeks to regain AZA certification.

“the animal was placed in quarantine”

Spider monkey flees Mexico City zoo, boards bus, attacks passenger, and is offered guest worker status by California.

Update: Not a monkey at all, a kinkajou! Red Cross can't tell the difference. No donation for you!

And that one's Ook-ook

Bonobos at Great Ape Trust of Iowa to name their trumpeter swan neighbors.