But it does repeat on ya!

Cloned meat and milk to be declared safe by FDA.

“The monkeys fought back”

Texas pets, Opie and another monkey, tortured during home burglary.

“Wah, wow, hoo!”

Beware the plaintive song of the gibbon.

“photos and video of Samson when he was alive.”

25 after his death, Samson the Gorilla debuts at Ohio's Milwaukee Zoo.

“the forests where they naturally occur is disappearing”

Cotton top tamarins births reported at Australia's National Zoo and Aquarium.

“administering a banana laced with sedatives”

Indian youths accused of slipping a monkey a monkey and fixing him in a curry.

“better technical aspects, expertise, experience and putting the lowest bid”

Mumbai India's Byculla Zoo scheduled for major refurbishment

“That would include zookeepers”

Canada says “no thanks” to blood donations from professional monkey-handlers

“given a fertility drug”

MSM's failure to respect gorilla's privacy.

“Roots and Shoots youth leaders”

“Worldwide Youth Network Raises $40,000 to Help Orphan Chimpanzees in Africa&rdquo: we've been doing a first-class job orphaning chimpanzees without your help, thanks just the same!

“monkey cloning is important”

If South Korea suffers a monkey shortage, science will be ready to help.

“Animation fans everywhere are a little sadder today”

William Hanna, one of the founders of Hanna-Barbera, famous for Scooby-Doo (and Magilla Gorilla) dead at 95

“a burglary at the Captive Life Forms in Henrietta”

New York man offers reward for return of his family friend's tiny marmoset.

Update: Home safe

“ignoring Suzy in favor of the monkey”

Dear Abby reader: Mrs. Butinski Nosey Nebbish: stand up!

“create a society of which we can be proud”

Let's hurry up and surrender, it always worked in the past.

“He can survive anything”

Tarzan to get another turn.

“bombs away”

The habits of various animals disposing of their dung is considered.

“prosimians, not monkeys”

December 14 is officially Monkey Day!

and what about George Allen?

PETA demands ban on ownership of “macaca” monkeys in Wayne County, North Carolina, because of herpes B danger.

“...mortality rate of 70 percent”

Beware: exotic pets unsafe for your health!

“a happy day”

Amazing Animal Productions Inc chimpanzees to retire, to acclaim of animal rights pressure group and tame primatologists, who continue to pay undergraduates with Primate Chow and fish-sticks.

“more than a million years younger than earlier estimates”

“Little Foot” Australopithecine not human ancestor, scientist says.

Even the weather report is biased extreme left!

I wonder why this editorial isn't signed. Fear of having to stand behind it someday?

Unperson

Michael Crichton's latest novel Next and its orangutan narrator declared politically unsound due to previous novel, State of Fear's, failure to endorse global warming.

Update: Senators Rockefeller and Snowe to sponsor heresy trials.

“one of Africa’s last great untouched wildernesses”

Christmas vacation anong the chimpanzees in the National Park in Gabon.

“elephants, hyenas and baboons have wreaked havoc”

Life worsens for Kenya villagers.

“government debacles”

Rep. Henry Waxman (D-CA), rooting for truffles, Joe Lieberman (I-CT), not as harmless as he looks: politicos to watch in the coming year.

“chimpanzees have funeral rites and take away the bodies ”

Scientists ponder southeast Guinea's chimpanzee epidemic.

“threatened species like gorilla and chimpanzee”

“Bush-meat” draws ire of New York food-safety inspectors.

“But he was a fun drunk”

You'll have to aim low if you mean to spit back at Danny DeVito.

Update: George Clooney trots the chunder trail with Danny in impression of F. Scott and Zelda.

“whether you are descended from a Rhesus monkey, or just a plain Chimp”

Australia's man on the street.