“you are small and resemble an orange-gutan”

“the fall-out from elections”

Countdown for gorilla extinction, unless we do as the UN tells us.

“The facility will eventually accommodate 200 chimpanzees”

Louisiana's Chimp Haven to release 19 more chimpanzees onto the grounds.

“Sport hunting entails falcons or hounds”

Saudi baboon-hunting areas to be expanded.

“got angry when some children teased the animal”

Jason the chimpanzee escapes from his enclosure at India's Mysore Zoo, panic ensues. Coaxed back in, no injury to humans or non-humans.

“the $20 million project has to be financed”

The National Chimpanzee Observatory: it won't come cheap.

“to protect builders from baboons”

Baboons at UK's Knowsley Safari Park take it personally when builders demolish their old home to build new one.

Betty's back!

Only remaining escaped squirrel monkey returns to enclosure voluntarily at London Zoo, looking for dindins. She had some nice, juicy, mealworms.

“often treated as curiosities”

Cotton-top or tuft-eared marmoset (New World monkeys) rescued by SPCA in Chennai, India.

“Betty is still pottering about in the park”

Five squirrel monkeys escape London Zoo, four recaptured in Regent's Park.

“If he steals food they should let him run off with it”

Baboons continue to roam South African neighborhoods.

“With the baboons, you never know”

Tough times at Haifa Zoo.

“never use great apes in its advertisements”

I didn't know they even still made Keds.

“a speedy repatriation”

Vietnam returns two orangutans to Indonesia.

“a show about monkeys escaping from the zoo”

Ohio's Madcap Puppets: children's theatre torn from the headlines.

“more destructive than logging or bushmeat hunting”

Kill! Kill! Kill for the love of conservation!

“He's a @#*$&#% monkey!”

More civil discourse from the MSM, this time about Curious George.

“the chimp was no where to be found”

Chimpanzee with a club reported in Thousand Oaks, CA. Theories abound.

Goodbye, Les

Les, 44-year-old Sumatran orangutan at Oklahoma City Zoo, dead of heart and kidney failure.

“a fully grown sheep torn to pieces”

Years of appeasing South Africa's endangered baboons exacts a heavy price on innocent farmers, livestock.

“proposed that people are a domesticated form of ape”

Bizarre stock from unsettling Soviet animal-breeding experiments continues to be bred for science!

“spent most of their lives in a research lab”

Indian Institute of Science accused of releasing lab monkeys into the wild.

“Mr. Farinato says officials should consider euthanasia”

Local SPCAs at wit's end finding homes for ever-increasing number of rescued exotic pets. Internet blamed.

It's a raid!

Drugs, endangered animals, &c. seized from home of North Carolina zoo owner.

“because it's really scary”

Don't mistake Gorilla Glue™ for dogfood, veterinarian says. Or for gorilla food, I say.

“especially when you rewarded them with some raisins”

When your ancestors climbed down from the trees, they had to run before they could walk, scientists say.

“I buy 575 to 600 tons of food a year”

Keeping busy feeding the animals at Pittsburgh Zoo & PPG Aquarium.

“causes huge distress and behavioural problems”

You don't want a pet monkey, says UK's The Monkey Sanctuary.

“the longest interbirth interval of any mammal”

Orangutans may pay the price of all such evolutionary left-behinds.

“a farmer had a problem with some baboons”

A Saudi farmer mourns his goats, poisoned by his own hand.

“Owners chose not to report the incident to police”

Thieves in Russia steal circus monkey's motorcycle.

“mural of a Zen monkey in a meditative position”

MonkeyWatch favorites Val Prieto and Steve H. Graham are profiled.

“he will get black stripes”

Florida's Naples Zoo welcomes a newborn colobus monkey, destined for Canada.

“they cannot eat their tiffins without fear”

Spring Dale School in Indira Nagar, India, troubled by menacing monkeys.

“found safe and well playing with children in a London park”

“SpongeBob,” Bolivian squirrel monkey napped from UK's Chessington World of Adventures, recovered.

“the organization no longer has a lawyer”

Lawsuits fly in bigfoot land.

“He was like my son”

Chico The Monkey, organ-grinding star attraction of Chicago's Animal Kingdom, dead of apparent stroke.

“named a baby gorilla Keza (cute one)”

Bill Gates & family bestow a name on a Rwandan gorilla.

“Davis underwent more than a dozen surgeries”

Court battle looms over Moe, the chimpanzee formerly owned by St. James and LaDonna Davis (and not one of the chimps that savaged Mr. Davis).

“at the fountains at Crocker Park”

Owner of Ohio gorilla suit sought by police for talking-to, return of gorilla suit.

“gorilla or chimpanzee parts being sold”

Illegal bushmeat finds a market in European, American, cities.

Another monkey-napping in Britain!

Bolivian squirrel monkey stolen from UK's Monkey and Bird Garden at Chessington World of Adventures in Surrey.

“she pulled out binoculars and spotted the monkey”

A monkey runs loose in Wisconsin, owner stays mum.

Update: Police believe it may be someone's pet, to the disappointment of local Bigfoot Jr. seekers.

Update again: Monkey may be victim of golf-cart goniffs.

“viruses that could conceivably jump from apes to humans”

Spank the monkey if you must, punch the monkey if you will, but don't eat the monkey!

“he escaped from a transfer cage”

Baboon's bid for freedom from San Antonio, TX, research facility quickly foiled.

“They only found the suit, not the person in it”

Man (or gorilla?) in gorilla suit eludes Westlake, OH, police

But making them listen? Not so easy!

“Expert explains dangers to chimpanzee population”

“known for its haunting whale-like call”

Madagascar celebrates the birth of an Indri, the world's largest living lemur.

“at the home of a 70-year-old neighbor”

Incompetence from ALF thugs.

“releasing them in the forest”

Better they learn the truth now: sold for medical research.

Carl Stalling's come-uppance may come yet

Via This Blog Is Full Of Crap, at last Smellovision approaches.

“primate-carried diseases like the Ebola virus”

Senator Jeffords to outlaw transport of primates across state lines for sale as pets. Until it's to his advantage requiring same.

“They are mine”

Johnny Weissmuller Jnr aspires to Tarzan's loincloth.

“Did you know that satellite imagery reveals that Barbara Boxer is actually a lemur”

Gutfeld nails list of questions to the door.

“A True Positive Ape!”

At POSITIVE APE INDEX, your favorite <driver from hated locale> portrayed.

“research was conducted in rhesus monkeys”

Cocaine bad for rhesus monkeys, Wake Forest University scientists say.

“There’s nothing like an animal story”

Oops, Virginia's no-longer-missing monkey seen as a feel-good story in a time of scary headlines.

“We are so grateful”

PETCO raises 1.7 million in donations, Oregon Primate Rescue one of the recipients.

Home again, home again

Virginia's missing monkey Oops now back in zoo, safe and sound.

“$1 General Admission tickets”

The hunt for Virginia's missing monkey Oops widens to the baseball diamond.

“We go through four cases of bananas for the week”

Preparing food for the animals at a zoo commisary.

“fresh, berry red, and a potentially good sign”

Expert searchers join the quest for Oops the monkey, suspected monkey scat found.

“It's definitely not great timing”

Virginia's Mill Mountain Zoo, from where Oops the missing monkey escaped, due for AZA accreditation beginning at the end of this month.

“our Top 10 reasons”

Oops, Virginia's runaway monkey, becoming folk hero.

“officers used pepper spray to calm him down”

I'm guessing narcotics were involved, but I'm just guessing.

“Peaches”

Virginia resident remembers when the rhesus monkey her aunt gave to Mill Mountain Zoo escaped, 50 years ago.

“they have a very elaborate repertoire of sexual behavior”

Living On Earth™ considers the randy bonobo, nature's dirty hippy.

“chimps and monkeys are actually named as plaintiffs”

Primarily Primates sanctuary is criticized, sued.

Goodbye, P-Suke

Bonobo at at the Great Ape Trust of Iowa dies under anesthesia prior to planned hernia surgery.

“We are the tree-huggers”

Tree-swapping at Mesker Park Zoo in Indianapolis.

“No specific reason for the postponement was given”

Hernia surgery for P-Suke, bonobo at the Great Ape Trust of Iowa, postponed.
Updated: Died during anesthesia.

“average in size and extremely healthy”

Sukari, western lowland gorilla, gives birth at Georgia's Zoo Atlanta.

“they have no problem living off the land”

Historic Macaque escapes: “it can be months before they're recovered”.

“by making monkey gestures”

Oops, Virginia's monkey-on-the-run, still on the run, and was spotted yesterday.

“opens its gates to visitors one day each month”

Louisiana's Chimp Haven solicits enrichment gifts for the chimpanzees.

“has shown no signs of discomfort”

P-Suke, bonobo at the Great Ape Trust of Iowa, scheduled for Friday surgery to repair inguinal hernia.

“like a needle in the haystack”

Virginia monkey still missing from zoo.

“animals chew on it or sit on it”

Icing down the critters during the summer heat at Sunset Zoological Park in Kansas. And in the UK's heatwave.

“humans may have to close their windows”

South Africa's problems with monkeys and baboons becoming more frequent. Humans are blamed.

“It happened on June 27th”

Gorilla born at Spain's Madrid Zoo. This'd be Spain's first gorilla born with full human rights, so his mother Gorka is now due an additional monthly stipend.

“An amorous ape and his two brothers”

“Big, muscular bag of hormones” said to be behind Canadian ape-swapping.

“He’ll be going first class”

Monkey-shuffling at Canadian zoos.

Update: Ape-shuffling just around the corner.

“critically endangered”

Two pied tamarins born at Belfast Zoo.

“do not attempt to feed, pet or make any other contact”

Virginia's Mill Mountain Zoo to reopen Tuesday, as missing monkey “Oops” seems in no hurry to return.

Goodbye, Mopie

Mopie, 34-year-old gorilla at the National Zoo, died of apparent heart failure Monday, the second in a week.

“avalanches of searing hot gas and debris”

Farmers on the slopes of Mt. Merapi in the Philippines, undismayed by volcanic eruptions, now menaced by hundreds of deranged monkeys.

“she would bite and scratch and fight back”

Monkey still missing from Virginia zoo.

“he truly cares for the environment”

In school today we learned about manbearpig!

“as if old age was finally taming his strength”

Birthday celebration for 42-year-old Zakayo, chimpanzee at Uganda's Wildlife Education Centre in Entebbe.

“urges anyone who sees the monkey to call 911”

Japanese macaque on the loose from Virginia's Mill Mountain Zoo.

Update: “they can hear her in the forest surrounding the four-acre zoo”

Monday AM Update: The hunt resumes. “Jobe says hunger pangs might bring her out of hiding Monday.”

Goodbye, Kuja

Kuja, 23-year-old western lowland gorilla at the National Zoo, dies during surgery to implant a cardiac device.

Update: Memphis mourns their native son.