Thursday, September 30, 2004

Wednesday, September 29, 2004

"there are some canines too"

India's Guru Gobind Singh Indraprastha University: student population – 1,700; monkey population – 1,500.

Just call him "Snakemaster"

Animal Planet hires geek:
In 1986, he spent 107 days in a glass cage with 36 deadly snakes to stimulate awareness on the plight of the African gorilla.
'Cause when you see snakes, you think gorillas.

"6,000 pounds of monkey chow"

The groceries, at Utah's Hogle Zoo.

A little gorilla you can call your own

Boston's Franklin Park Zoo can't find anyone to take Little Joe, erstwhile escapee.

"Apes have a really mischievous nature"

You'll be impressed with Johannesburg Zoo's new Ape House. If the apes haven't torn it down by the time you get there.

Tuesday, September 28, 2004

Sunday, September 26, 2004

"which would put their intelligence on a par with chimpanzees"

That most dangerous of animals - the clever pig!

Democratic candidate John Kerry bested in sissy slap fight

photo swiped from Drudge

"the zoo smells better now"

The National Zoo was in trouble 50 years ago, too.

"You changed Fort Wayne forever"

Earl Wells, a founder of Fort Wayne Children’s Zoo, memorialized after being stung to death by yellow jackets.

"I was known as the 'monkey lady'"

Former Columbia University veterinary doc now a pea in PETA's pod.

Tuesday, September 21, 2004

"held by police for causing death through recklessness"

Malaysian man mistakes wife for fruit-thieving monkey, shoots her dead.

"an incentive for illegal immigration"

Connecticut donks support college education for illegal immigrants at discounted in-state tuition rates.

"the very “special” monkey stew"

Missionary claims to have been served monkey-genital stew in the Philippines.

"It's a slow and painful process"

US conservation group WildAid to use celebtities to talk down to Thais.

Update: Oh good, they also have a few ideas on sovereignty.

"International Peace Day, also called United Nations Peace Day"

Queen of the chimps Jane Goodall's Young Minions to inflict giant pigeon puppets on Oregon taxpayers.

Update: and 49 other states.

"She had her own technique"

Bob Campbell, Dian Fossey's cameraman, tells his story of working with, on, the gorilla reseacher.

"I am naturally a baboon man"

Africans urged to emulate India's defeatist attitudes toward monkeys.

"a permanent resident of the zoo"

Hawaii's Rusti the Orangutan get $100,000 from Chelsey Foundation.

Monday, September 20, 2004

"known to catch small rodents and monkeys"

Colorado teen channels Seymour Krelborn, confirms stereotypes about homeschooled kids.

"a flagship species"

Sen. Patrick Leahy (D-Vt.) to court orangutan vote.

"If I were him, I wouldn't do it"

A interesting little interview with The Daily Show's Jon Stewart. Lefty, but not a moonbat.

"the creative flair is a sign of their intelligence"

Japan still bored, painting chimpanzee flavor of the week.

"Bad things can happen"

Chicago's Lincoln Park Zoo big on preparedness.

"This case is actually very significant"

DNA testing on Safari World orangutans almost underway.

"Every day is an adventure"

Large-animal vets are profiled.

"11 Days of Global Unity"

Unusually vast flocks of moonbats scheduled to be in NYC tomorrow.

"They only add to the woes of farmers"

Compaints about monkey relocations in India.

Sunday, September 19, 2004

Saturday, September 18, 2004

"the end prize for this research is curing a disease"

UK's National Association of Pension Funds to survey businesses on effect of animal rights activists.

"Luckily no animals had escaped"

Florida's Horseshoe Creek Wildlife Sanctuary took a beating from Charley.

Scout's Honor!

My father certainly never wrote anyone a thank-you note.

I think I've already seen this movie

Scientists at University of Washington plan to infect monkeys with the flu virus from the 1918 pandemic that killed 40 million people.

"a monkey slipped in, bit her and gouged out her eye"

Monkey menace unabated in India's Uttar Pradesh.

Friday, September 17, 2004

$24,053, give or take. Mostly take.

Past president of the Caucus of Connecticut Democrats promises to pay back the thousands he "borrowed," now that he's been caught and all.

"We didn't want to get into that because of Busch Gardens"

Tampa, Florida's Lowry Park Zoo to butches up and goes African in a big way.

"used by tribesmen to hunt tree monkeys"

Somebody brown and furry plots revenge in Santa Barbara, CA.

"only 150 guards to protect this 5,000 sq-km park"

This $40M's all going where intended, I'm sure.
"It is hoped the money pledged on Friday by donors including Unesco, the UN Foundation, USA, Belgium and Italy will help Congolese conversation."

"we are supposed to represent the 650 mountain gorillas left in the wild"

Two UK City Council officers to run 7k in gorilla suits to benefit Diane Fossey Gorilla Fund.

"Animal use is an integral part of virological research"

India's National Institute of Virology to be permitted to do some work again.

Thursday, September 16, 2004

"Unfortunately, identifying this gene offers no help for people"

Harvard scientists discover gene for clumsiness.

Found dog in Atlanta

If anyone in Atlanta's missing a border collie mix, see here.

Tonight on CBS news

Dan Rather tears the lid off the Republican's most closely guarded secret: extensive ties between Vice President Dick Cheney and Batboy.

"a breath of fresh air for the troubled Amazon rainforest"

Brazil's Mamiraua Project for Sustainable Development.

"we just can't go on"

Australia's Whyalla Wildlife and Reptile Sanctuary set to close.

"the first to survive more than a month"

Congo's gorilla twins doing well.

"but it's pretty sad, too"

Baltimore's American Dime Museum to display paintings by Betsy the Chimp.

"a baby chimp and baby orangutan showed signs of vitamin D deficiency"

Apes at St. Louis Zoo to see the sun.

Wednesday, September 15, 2004

"those lovely long legs are lethal"

Bored? Visit the zoo, advises Florida's Marco Island Sun Times.

Get it while you can!

Bushmeat trade declared unsustainable by Bushmeat Crisis Task Force.

"years of verbal and written complaints"

America's biggest cardboard box manufacturers racist smurfs, EEOC charges.

"This (ban) truly has only nondomesticated animals"

Kentucky's Logan County plans to ban dangerous exotic animals, electioneering within 300 feet of the polls.

"ever since he was a child he has been interested in exploring"

UK man off to Sumatra to find local Yeti.

"Whenever I go to Bali, I never miss going to a Kechak"

Japanese tourists ruining Bali, says Philippine tourist.

"The gravity of the violations is great"

USDA cites UC San Francisco for animal abuse.

"based on a mixture of rhesus monkey rotaviruses"

Monkeys assist in developing vaccine for rotavirus, "most common cause of severe, dehydrating diarrhoea and vomiting in children worldwide."

MonkeyWatch consumer alert!

World Wildlife Fund to raise funds by providing wildlife photos for new-fangled postage stamps. $16.99 for 20 37¢ stamps = 0.8495¢ per stamp.

"it doesn't seem worth the effort anymore"

Willie's Wildlife Zoo, a bit lackadaisical.

"carnapping of a motorcycle"

Johnny Ape, motorcycle carnapper.

Monday, September 13, 2004

Spoons supports 2nd amendment, Sun Times doesn't

The Chicago Sun Times Smokes Monkey Cock, says Spoons.

"Now is the time to look around and think about the monkeys in the zoo"

Resentment about standing out in a crowd.

"He’s definitely a Wisconsin monkey"

Jasper, the monkey Green Bay didn't want, lands in Manitowoc, which doesn't seem to care much one way or the other.

Sunday, September 12, 2004

"devastated at the theft"

Yet another monkey-napping at UK's Shaldon Wildlife Trust, which ought to consider locks on the doors.

"using monkeys instead of mice"

Alzheimer's vaccine tested on monkeys at Yerkes National Primate Research Center, in Georgia.

"The jail is dark. It smells rank, like concentrated monkey"

Punjab state addresses monkey menace with monkey jail. "Activists" "angered".

"people can record their own pant-hoot calls"

Maryland Science Center, big on edutainment.

Things that man was not meant to know

UK's Animal Procedures Committee demands stronger government rules agsinst distasteful science.

Wednesday, September 08, 2004

"it's truly sensational"

New Zatoichi this Friday!

"has not discouraged visitors"

Ghana's Kumasi Zoological Gardens concentrating on core competencies.

"For the past decade the labs have been a target for animal rights groups and government officials"

Headline-seeking Alamogordo, AZ District Attorney Scot Key "reportedly" sues Boston company because two (of hundreds) of chimpanzees died.

Charles River Laboratories.

"As a woman, I am outraged"

Old splinter-britches sends pamphlet to "her extensive list of personal and professional contacts" asking support for PETA's campaign of protest against medical experiments at New York’s Columbia University.

meta, meta, meta

Yay, Blogger's able to publish again!

"Warren the Ape and Count Blah"

Greg the Bunny special, maybe series, slated for IFC.

Tuesday, September 07, 2004

"There's no vaccine against it. It's just one of those things"

Three monkeys dead of Yersiniosis at New Zealand's Auckland Zoo. Dr. Potter notwithstanding, specific vaccine, Yersiniavax ("presently available only in New Zealand") described here. (Maybe it's not certified for use on monkeys.)

"Carrots, it seems, aren't good for rabbits"

However, says Prather McNeal, of Ross University School of Veterinary Medicine, monkeys still like bananas.

"believed to be the first orangutans to live in Iowa"

Great Ape Trust of Iowa to welcome first great apes at the end of the month.

All-singing, all-dancing

Coming soon, Fahrenheit 9/11: the musical.

Where does a 6,000 pound hippo sleep?

Not in great-grandfather's parkland!

“Doctor Dolittle’s Delusion”

Animals can't talk, says Yale prof.

"the public doesn't believe them"

Sasquatch may be afoot, says North Dakota columnist.

"you can't build a tree to hurricane code"

Florida zoos lose few animals to Frances, but suffer significant damage.

Sunday, September 05, 2004

"cultivation of the Polynesian noni fruit"

Australian woman moves to Borneo to save orangutans by providing alternatives to logging.

"I've had people ask if I can get them gorillas"

Foolish people want overly exotic pets.

"There will be no skunks here"

Alabama teen is qualified wild animal rehabber. So, stop thinking about this unrelated television character.

"giving birth to baby boy Kumi right in front of their eyes"

A glut of gorillas at London's Chessington World of Adventures.

"We're the only place that does this"

Boston's Helping Hands "monkey college," where capuchins are trained to help people with severe disabilities.

you got to start young if you're going to stick it out

Queen of the Chimps Jane Goodall to indoctrinate elementary school kids with new book, "Rickie & Henri: A True Story.

Your kid will keep trying to return the dog to the wild.

Saturday, September 04, 2004

"At least 11,600 tons of illegal bush meat"

Ill-considered items on the menu in the UK.

"Chimpanzees make an approximation of it"

Kissing good for your health, say Swiss researchers.

"What they say on television is a lie"

al-Reuters finds (or invents) Beslan locals to blame Putin for hundreds dead. The single reference to the terrorist murderers responsible for this merely calls them rebels.

"other species call out through the darkness"

Take a romantic moonlight stroll at San Diego Wild Animal Park.

"They're our little babies"

Retired couple in Florida keeps busy by running Primate Paradise, a sanctuary for monkeys and whatever else wanders into the yard.

Thursday, September 02, 2004

Quickly Jeeves, a pair of tweezers and the Anusol!

"I preferred chimpanzees"

The zookeeper's lot is a happy one, says the Straits Times.

"the skeleton of famed Australopithecine, Lucy, has a small braincase but modern ankles"

"Hominids started walking on two legs six million years ago," says French Museum of Natural History. Later they invented baguettes.

"eight-hundred-pound gorilla"

Author says drug companies are bad. Stop taking medicine, I guess.

"the whole locality is suffering from the terror of the monkeys"

Residents of Lucknow, India, meet monkey menace with fireworks.

"the animals were frightening children at nurseries"

Officials in Japan's Wakayama Prefecture get strict with left over monkeys.

False advertising!

Seattle Times shocker: there are no apes in Ape Cave!