"the EU Banana Regime"

Politically correct bananas.

"I just can't wait to see them running through the trees"

Parks at Chehaw in Georgia readying lemur exhibit.

Fingers crossed

"Human trials for spinal cord regeneration, which could begin next year"

"Zoos are required by law to provide enrichment activities for the animals each day"

At Sequoia Park, serial feces-flinger Bill, at 58 the world's oldest chimp, gets Thanksgiving dinner.

"I can't wait to see me a chimp"

Construction activities begin for Chimp Haven, home for retired experimental chimps. AARC demands veterinary drug benefit.

'rhesus monkeys and a bottlenose dolphin chose "I'm not sure" with virtually the same frequency as humans'

Behaviorists torment monkeys, dolphins with logic problems.

"In 1998, police raided Get Stuffed, a taxidermy store"

UK takes steps against sellers of prohibited animal products.

Cynocephalus variegatus

Singapore researcher finds endangered flying lemurs are, in fact, thriving. Story doesn't mention that they're not lemurs.

"the corporation monkey catcher went to catch the monkey"

Now Indian monkeys are recruiting allies among other orders.

"Frozen watermelon will top the menu"

Melbourne Zoo's birthday gorilla.

"When Sasha roars, she scares the neighbors"

Tyro, N.C. neighbors of durned old lioness lady upset at what she has in the backyard. Security system is detailed, along with the rest of the critters. She has a monkey.

"it falls to us, in the Western world, to change the course of history"

"Charlotte Uhlenbroek is set to be the new face of wildlife programmes on the BBC."

More.

"McDonald's and M&M also participated"

China recycles phone books for special friend, the Queen of the Chimps.

"none of this is demonstrable in any highly convincing way"

Primatologists declare in behavior, phylogeny recapitulates ontogeny. Others scoff.

"it is definitely better to be a trichromat"

Monkey-vision.

"Monkeys live surprisingly long lives"

University of South Alabama Primate Research Lab.

"It's not a big deal for me"

In a reciprocal fosterage deal, English entrepreneur and conservationist Damian Aspinall will hand over his least favorite offspring to be raised by gorillas.

"an unseen attacker has injured six thoroughbred horses and a goat"

Dangerous Monkey Man causes panic near Prime Ministers home, says Hindustan Times.

Bad news for crab-eating macaques

Meanwhile, Taiwan says work on SARS vaccine continues apace.

And those scary libertarians, them as well

Antivivisectionists decry approval of Cambridge center for monkey research, demand center for Tory research, instead.

We're from the U.N. and we're here to help

U.N.'s Great Apes Survival Project says Ebola is finishing off the great apes, plans to spend $90 million of US money to build well-managed forestry concessions, sustainable agriculture, and integrated ecotourism programs, as well as to bolster conservation enforcement in six central African nations.

Meanwhile UNESCO wants at least $25 million for similar work.

"a group of hunters ate a dead boar they found in the forest"

Death toll in Congo Ebola outbreak rises to 18.

"largest wildlife trafficking ever uncovered in China"

China busts macaque trafficers.

“Jonas Salk didn't know why his vaccine worked, either”

Vical begins Phase I human trials of Ebola vaccine.

We're going to the zoo, zoo, zoo

Chicago's Lincoln Park Zoo hires ad agency to tout redesigned Ape Center.

"they said monkeys weren't their delicacy"

Ugandan farmers hope to make a cash crop of local monkey pests.

Goodbye, Snowflake

Snowflake dies.

Update: Euthanized.

Big Monkey

Links and such for Peter Jackson's King Kong, due to start filming in 2005.

Nycticebus coucang

Slow loris, thought to be near-extinct in Bangladesh, found there.

"People often wake in the morning to the noise of monkeys making havoc on the roof"

Indian authorities plan to sterilise monkeys infesting Shimla tourist resort.

"hundreds of thousands of young people around the world, can break through these walls"

Young minions of Queen of the Chimps do her bidding. Heute Schimpansen, morgen die Welt?

"There are more than 4,000 animals at the Bronx Zoo"

The Bronx Zoo as a travel destination. Gorillas, monkeys are seen.

"a display of arrogant disregard for public opinion"

Cambridge gets approval for monkey brain research lab. Activists protest that human, monkey brains different, call for human brain research lab.

"He feels his boycott of the conference may have had some effect"

Gibraltar monkey researcher incensed that Gibraltar kills over 40% of his subjects.

Sew what?

Collecting the sock monkey.

"no good evidence showing that animals possess a theory of mind"

University of Pennsylvania fraternity uses monkey lecturer to polish image. "We are trying to bring intellectualization to the Greek system."

"to make the monkey dance, you must first give him a banana"

Chi Chi Rodriguez

In short hops, apparently

UK pair plan pole-to-pole-to-pole helicopter flight. "The pilots will make 160 stopovers on their journey to spotlight the conservation work of the World Wildlife Fund. During their stopover in Rio, they planned to visit a program to save the endangered golden lion tamarin monkey"

Monkeys in the blogs

At A Small Victory, The birds, the bees and monkeys.

Ook ook, preciousss

Gollum rumored to become King Kong.

A gorilla who'll be with ya

Experts testing to determine if Rwandan gorilla-napping victim is of boring lowland or exciting mountain type.

"Our priority is the quality of what little life remains"

Snowflake expected to die within days.

"Bill is also known by visitors to get angry and throw feces"

California's Sequoia Park Zoo, home of 57-year-old Bill the chimpanzee, to get facelift.

Quick, Henry! The Flit!

Venezuelan capuchins reported to use millipedes as mosquito repellant.

Bushmeat eaters said to be fed up

East African conservation groups "up in arms" over US Fish and Wildlife Service interpretation of Endangered Species Act which, they complain, "provides poor countries with no incentive to protect dying species." It's our job to stop them before they eat the last gorilla, apparently.

These aren't the chimps you're looking for

Kenya Wildlife Service denies that six new chimpanzees at Sweetwaters Sanctuary could have been exposed to ebola. "In any case, haemorrhagic fevers are not commonly found in chimpanzees."

"rough sun-baked paths strewn with carabao dung"

Childhood among the guerrillas during the Japanese occupation of the Philippines is fondly recalled. "The monkey salivated at the prospect of the rich feast of lice in the girl's hair".

My money's on the rabbit

"Group: Rare snail and rabbit now racing toward extinction". Monkeys are mentioned.

But not necessarily sociable

Leakey Foundation says baboons are social.

"Modern zoos are filled with animal advocates"

Franklin Park zookeeper John Linehan has his say.

Speculation that reported Florida escapee may be descendant of 1930's Tarzan extras.

"Adam, 48, who has been re-admitted to a mental hospital, is believed to be unaware of EMI’s decision."

Adam Ant's charity gorilla song will not be released following legal threat by EMI.

"His family emigrated to the United States when he was a child"

Romania to honor native son Weissmuller with plaque.

"It's hard to get people to donate money for fixing asphalt."

Fresno's Chaffee Zoological Gardens in dire straits.

'Cause nobody else'll have them?

How, why baboons socialize.

"In about 500 or 600 years, no one will have third molars," he said.

Forensic anthropologist teaches North Carolina elementary students about crime scene investigation and skeletal health. Human, chimpanzee, and gorilla skulls were displayed.

Butchers of the Congo turn attention to the medical arts

Give a Belgian scientist a supply of AIDS drugs, he gives them to banana plants.

"up to 65 years unless they die through unnatural causes"

Ghanaian monkey sanctuary home to aging monkeys. Founder calls for "health facilities, places of convenience, social amenities" and road improvements to bring in the tourists.

"accused India of buying votes"

New Delhi awarded 2010 Commonwealth Games. Canadians outraged. Monkeys are not expected to compete. Expected by humans. What monkeys expect, no man can say.

"who stuck her hand into the animal's pen"

Brookfield Zoo in Illinois, site of heartwarming 1996 gorilla/injured child incident, today site of idiot bitten by wolf, wolf was killed, incident.

Jan in a Pan!

Buzzworthy report on So you're dead. now what? includes details on monkey head transplants.

News from Congo, time to change vacation plans

It is ebola.

"one person had a leopard and a chimpanzee for sale"

Las Vegas a hotspot for exotic wildlife trade.

And now they're demanding suffrage

New Delhi continues to not address its increasing monkey problem.

"baboons needed as many as 7,000 tries before they could perform the tests with 80 percent accuracy"

Researchers declare baboons not as stupid as had been thought. Took a lot of trying, though.

"Guinean Forest of West Africa Hotspot"

Liberia takes steps to protect chimpanzee population.

"indication that post-exposure prophylaxis might work"

Researchers at Fort Detrick successful at proof of concept for hantavirus vaccine. Monkeys were tested, provided antibodies for hamsters.

"We don't have the smoking gun"

Piltdown hoaxer exposed. Sorta.

Round up the usual lawn ornament suspects!

New Jersey fiberglass monkey swiped.

"A circus without animals is not a circus"

German Greens up to no good. As usual.

It takes two gorillas

NewScientist.com will say a captive female gorilla has been spotted teaching her daughter how to tend to her newborn.

"10 per cent of the monkey population was destroyed"

Malaysia moves monkeys. With prejudice.

Round and round we go

Macro-evolution makes a comeback. Monkeyflowers (but not monkeys) are mentioned.

What comes after Hollywood Squares?

Former Monkees drummer to appear in Disney Aida.

"they have a stunning appearance"

Edinburgh Zoo gets three gelada baboons. Some pictures here.

Softly, softly

Indian zookeeper lures male monkeys with female monkeys. Luring female monkeys is not discussed.

Educational, ook

PBS to produce their own, educational, animated Curious George.

"second trained monkey to be called Jiro"

Jiro, the comic monkey, dies.

"Imagine if France were to invade Germany now"

Biological roots of war are inconclusively discussed and dismissed. Monkey references are prominent. I'm still imagining.

"several carloads of students came out here and saw something"

Oklahoma Bigfoot advocate gets air time.

Chimps to purchase Nukes from Norks!

Queen of the Chimps visits Korea to tout book, promote anti-human agenda.

"All those animal-world people keep telling us that the gorillas won't cope"

British Upper Class Loony evicts seven gorillas from family zoo, deports them to Gabon.

He'll see that you pays!

Canadian philostopher-with-a-job mocks Brights. A monkey is mentioned, peripherally.

Indonesian suggests India solve their monkey problem by putting them in camps. Let's keep an eye on Indonesia.

Cogito, ergo ook ook

Tribune of India reviews state of speaking monkeys. MonkeyWatch view: on the one hand, the evidence is weak. On the other hand, Noam Chomsky's skeptical, and agreeing with him's always a poor bet. The smart monkey's lying low for now.

Soon we'll all be knee deep in test tube monkeys!

We know why monkeys are difficult to clone, we know how to get around it, now we just have to make it pay.

Bad news for the sedentary

Reuters reports "exercise good for brain, too." Monkeys were tested.

Buh-bye!

TV's latest Tarzan to explore new career options.

Unhand that beast!

Gorilla-napping scheme thwarted in Rwanda.

You don't need this book, you're already annoying.

Malingerer turns author, touts "How to Monkey with Telemarketers (and all other phone pests.)"

Punkin'

North Carolina Zoo inmates will be smashing pumpkins and devouring them for amusement of visitors. Well, and for a snack. That too.

"Goodall’s next project could be observing banana behavior"

Queen of the chimps ineffectively dissed in Oregon letter to the editor.

I'm no biologist, but I don't think that's a goose

Home zoo discovered in Texas.

Meet "Rainbeau" and friends

Los Angeles Zoo begins Mandrill breeding program.

Elbow room

Detroit Zoological Institute opens more spacious chimp exhibit.

"operating a charity without a zoning exception"

Maryland backyard animal sanctuary barred from keeping exotics.

Goodbye, Max

San Diego Zoo gorilla Max dies during medical exam. Shades of Rocky.

"victims displayed symptoms of a haemorrhagic fever"

Ebola outbreak suspected in Congo.

Creationist Crapfest

Piltdown fraud anniversary, ICR apologist Duane Gish (a man with a bit of a history,) touts ICR products.

Meta, meta, meta

A slow day in monkeywatching. But look, a Google hit on "monkey feces" in the referer log.

"Karl Rove, the organ grinder to Bush’s monkey"

Say it often enough, loudly enough and shrilly enough, and it's almost as if it were true.

"Human and primate alike got wet"

Monkeys at Omaha's Henry Doorly Zoo resist being brought in for the Winter.

Mood organ

Researchers flee Yale for Vanderbilt, fool monkeys, humans.

Queen of the Chimps deemed Museum-worthy

Georgia museum spills the beans. Chimp queen dowdified, "This incredible exhibit...can answer...the questions that will be raised (by visitors)...and...it's brilliant!" Ellipses not mine.

I don't want to know his idea of a date

Burning garbage to generate power is "comparable to alluring a monkey to take a short walk for getting a banana, eventually only to trap it to death."

Authorities recommend panic

This is how it begins: portions of New Delhi overrun with monkeys... powerlines down...government buildings ransacked...best efforts of scientists, armed with screechy machines, to no avail...Rumsfeld remains mum...simian overlords welcomed...appeasement movement gains international support...treehuggers blame civilization, recommend return to caves, trees.

Bad news for monkeys!

California "vintner" touting banana wines to China. "A feature of the wines is the labels"

I'm ready for my closeup, Mr. DeMille

Queen of the Chimps on the big screen.

"protection against infectious diseases to newborns in developing countries"

And this is why animal research, on balance, is an acceptable thing. And it's what won't happen if PETA and their co-religionists have their way.

Good news for Caribbean monkeys

EUnuchs to tax their citizens to encourage inefficient, expensive Jamaican banana farming. Efficient Jamaican banana farmers out of luck.

Cure for cancer, bah!

Costs soar for Cambridge University's medical research laboratory. Monkeys, anti-human activists celebrate.

I think I'm a baboon, therefore I am

Team of psychologists declare baboons capable of abstract thought.