Sunday, April 30, 2006

“I knew I was going to die”

Retellings of the Sierra Leone chimpanzee attack, we got. New news of Bruno and the troupe he leads, though, quiet, too quiet.

“A large window is set on the side of the monkey hill”

The 130 million yen monkey observation house at Japan's Sapporo Maruyama Zoo let's you see the macaques up close without any danger of contact with the filthy little monsters.

Saturday, April 29, 2006

“as the smell dissipated the baboons came back”

A steady supply of lion dung important for South Africa's Western Cape wineries.

“More and more cases of monkey bites”

A recent census estimates 6,000 monkeys running wild in New Delhi. There's a single shelter for them, quite full, and no volunteers to accept Delhi's overflow. That's a lotta monkeys.

“The only other country to have adopted comparable measures is New Zealand”

“When a chimpanzee takes your hand to tell you something, you feel that you are dealing with a special creature”*
When he then pulls your arm out of the socket and beats you to death with it, you're reminded of the nature of that creature**

*Spain's Pedro Pozas, secretary-general of the Great Ape Project, advocating for United Nations granting of human rights to great apes
**MonkeyWatch giving sound advice

Friday, April 28, 2006

“quite a shift from reptiles”

Georgia's AHP Exotics to add monkeys (“small monkeys&rdquo) to sales repertoire. They grow up, Bill. They grow up.

“because of the monkey and bull menace”

Fruit shortage in Jagatsinghpur and Paradi, India.

“monkey meat”

Monkey fails in attempt to illegally enter Australia via parcel post.

Thursday, April 27, 2006

“effective against livestock, wildlife and human intrusion”

In Kenya, cactus fences make good neighbors, it's hoped

“to check the burgeoning population of monkeys and langoors”

Himachal Pradesh, India, to begin sterilizing urban monkeys.

“why are these rights granted to great apes but not to lesser apes?”

Belgians urge Spanish socialist to make granting human rights to great apes only the beginning.

“warning letters to tribal headmen”

Bruno, renegade leader of Siera Leone's dissident chimpanzees, dubbed “Osama bin Laden” by wardens.

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

“Now they hope to use a similar vaccine to try to treat Ebola”

New hope for monkeys with Marburg virus.

“Old Bruno, the lovable alpha male”

Didn't it occur to you to tell anyone: demon chimpanzee?

“still at large”

No demands yet received from Sierra Leone chimps.

“got into lots of mischief”

Official bio of Bruno, renegade leader of Sierra Leone's killer chimpanzee troupe, needs an update.

Bruno: the signs were there!

Bruno, the alpha chimp..., refused to go across to the far enclosure...something big was up and he wasn’t about to go...Bruno is a brilliant rock thrower...flirting with disaster...Bruno knew something was up and he refused to budge...Bruno often doesn’t like strangers...He threw a rock at the offender...we all had to laugh and respect Bruno’s keen intelligence
Still laughing? Call him Bruno, call him Αλςιβιαδες, he's slipped the leash and run true to form.

Portrait of the Guerilla as a Younger Chimp

Bruno's rise to power.

It's all how you look at it!

From Texas: Crazed chimpanzees attack Texas man, 3 others
From Canada: Chimpanzees injure Canadian, kill African driver in Sierra Leone

“the discovery of a unique species”

Paleontologists at the newly-renamed Duke Lemur Center believe the now-extinct Thyrohyrax  had outsized banana-shaped jaws it used to make a loud booming sound.

“I believe in competition, but ...”

Others argued that the problem of skyrocketing gasoline prices can't be fixed by state government, but only through decisions at the national and international levels.

We're doomed.

Must be U.N. wildlife rangers

Kenyan wildlife rangers said to be siding with farm-raiding baboons.

“it had hatred in it's eyes”

Eye-witness report of killer chimpanzee attack in Sierra Leone.

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Sierra Leone killer chimps - around the blogs

More angry chimps... at Innisfree.
Chimps Kill Cab Driver and Attack Passengers! at Taxicab News, Articles and Posts!
Killer Chimp on The Loose at The Primate Journal
The New Enemy at Alien Rest Stop
Allah's Monkeys Slay Kafir, Maim Others at Al-Jack
Chimps Revolt at The BLOG
Unfinished Monkey Business at I Think We're Salone Now...
Monkey news at english ranter
Everybody's workin' for the Chimpdown at Filthy Badger
don't mess with chimps at Vaguely Logical
Chimpanzees kill a man, maul others at college_buddha
The Ape Rebellion Begins at Lot 49
Playa Chimp Returns! at Papa Razzi
Not Again! Not again! at The Angry Czeck
Police Hunt For Chimps After Fatal Attack at Garfield Ridge
Chimps Go On Murderous Rampage at Florida Cracker

And no lack of more at Google Blog search

“lemurs are the stars”

Duke University Primate Center is renamed Duke Lemur Center, prosimians to run roughshod.

Familiarity breeds murderous killing rage

Bruno, renegade leader of Sierra Leone's rampaging chimpanzees, was the first chimp rescued by the Tagucama Tacugama Chimp Sanctuary, ten years ago. He and 17 other apes with an attitude still on the loose.

Update: Now with a link, sheesh!

“the chimps were in a very irate mood”

Word on the chimpanzee rampage, from Sierra Leone's Awareness Times.

“If they do have rights, wouldn’t they also have responsibilities?”

The American Thinker asks whether killer chimpanzees in Sierra Leone should be tried.

Those wacky socialists!

Spain's PSOE party to introduce a bill giving apes the same rights as humans.

Monday, April 24, 2006

“Each day is marked with protests and demonstrations throughout the city”

Electrical problems in Kanpur, India, affect the zoo.

Oh, what a surprise

Repatriation of ex-Safari World orangutans delayed. Again.

“Definitely part of it, I believe, is the chimps”

OSU activists loudly demand something-or-other be done after death of second moved chimpanzee.

Sunday, April 23, 2006


Zoo-keeper at Sweden's Boras Zoo seriously bitten by orangutan-on-the-loose.

“nearly 70 apes living in a semi-wild environment”

Tourists attacked and injured, driver killed, by rampaging chimpanzees in Sierra Leone.

Update: The US embassy advises locking the barn door not visiting the Tacugama Chimpanzee Sanctuary.

“There isn’t much to see, really”

Kansas City Zoo plans to spend its way out of deficit, malaise. Contributions solicited.

“Now Tarzan make war”

Childhood enthusiasm for Tarzan movies is recalled. The Bush- (and Rumsfeld-) bashing seems perfunctory and jejune.

“Nothing that old is in good shape, of course”

The paleontologist's lot is not a happy one, it seems

Saturday, April 22, 2006

“a 10-month old ape who can be seen with his dad”

Opening Day for Indiana's Fort Wayne Children’s Zoo

“which means "fog or swirling mist" in Swahili”

Baby gorilla at Colorado's Cheyenne Mountain Zoo named Umande.

“the best place to start”

Mr. Zeta-Jones visits UN, promises always to use his powers for evil, not for good
As an example, Mr. Douglas pointed out that, as he had a movie coming out today - The Sentinel - he would be making the rounds of talk shows. "Rather than simply talking only about movies, I can slide in talk about disarmament and nuclear weapons, which many people interested in entertainment would not normally listen to, but are forced to [hear about]."

Show 'em who's boss!

Celebrate Earth Day: for Frank J.'s sake, Nuke the Moon.

Now, how shall we best observe Lenin's birthday?

“and, once, a service monkey named Bubba”

I'm guessing they'd have been better off spending the time better learning how and why to read.

Goodbye, Bobby

Bobby, 16-year-old chimpanzee at TX's Primarily Primates, one of nine transferred from OSU, dead of uncertain causes. Necropsy results awaited.

“The suit itself has made several TV appearances”

Boston's Ace Ticket hopes to build a ticket-brokering empire on the strength of fleet-footed Theo Epstein's gorilla costume.

Friday, April 21, 2006

Thursday, April 20, 2006

“insurance issues”

The chimpanzees and other rescued exotic animals at Indiana's Black Pine Animal Park may have to move.

“did not mount any operation in the area”

Officials from Malaysian Wildlife and National Parks Department suggest reports of the capture of a baby "Bigfoot" may be a steaming pantload.

“25 months in prison”

Fine and prison sentence for seller of gorilla skull, big cat skins.


Could this be the origin of the glowing boars overrunning Ukraine?

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

“more than one-third voted for Kiki”

Shadowy foreign financier George Soros backs another loser as Kiki the gorilla elected Animal President of Boston's Franklin Park Zoo.

“gorillas do need companionship”

Lone gorilla at Pennsylvania's Erie Zoo to get a companion next month.

Monday, April 17, 2006

Sunday, April 16, 2006

“worried about a repeat of last year's chimpanzee attack”

California considers enforcing exotic animal laws.

“gross and obscene”

Letter-to-the-editor-type claim of monkey misbehavior at Florida's Lake County Fair.

Saturday, April 15, 2006

“attacking and frightening nurses”

High-spirited Saudi princelings (probably hopped-up on mint tea) release baboon at hospital, capture the wacky shenanigans on cell-phone camera. Casualties not detailed.

“and Peeps Easter candies”

Friday was Easter Egg Hunt day for Orangutans at Florida's Lowry Park Zoo.

“her fingers were sewn back on”

11-year-old girl has hand mangled in monkey attack during visit to Cyprus animal ranch.

Comes the revolution you'll eat strawberries and cream and damned well like it!

Indoctrination booster-shot from "renowned primatologist Jane Goodall" at Boston's Franklin Park Zoo this Earth Day.

Friday, April 14, 2006

“stole the skulls from unmarked tombs”

Suitable suspects being arranged for in China's case of the 121 skulls.

Only in Canada!

Evolution conclusively proven by newspaper headline: Former Gorilla earns honour for charity work

“the primates also disturb the children”

Malaysians menaced by monkeys.

Thursday, April 13, 2006

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

“an extensive remodeling”

Baboons at South Carolina's Riverbanks Zoo move to new, roomier, digs.

“a great degree of remorse”

World authority on baboon spiders can't poach them worth a damn!

“sawed off the tops of the skulls”

The official word on the 121 skulls in China: graves looted by ghouls to make ye olde handicrafted ashtrays for the tourist trade.

“an ideal habitation for the monkeys”

Land sought for monkey prison in Lucknow, India.

“an ideal habitation for the monkeys”

Land sought for monkey prison in Lucknow, India.

“at least one dead and more than 200 persons injured in the last month”

Monkey-menaced residents of Kendrapara, India, wait for helpful bureaucrats.


They weren't booing, they were yelling boom!

“I’m not sure how many animals are up for matzo”

Via SERIOUSMONKEY, monkeys at Central Park Zoo getting fat? Blame the Jews!

Buddhists, on the other hand...

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Goodbye, Colossus

Colossus, 40-year-old gorilla at Ohio's Cincinnati Zoo, dies as heart stops during root canal.

“You can't believe everything you read”

I have no use for creationism, but I know a hatchet job when I see one.

“his weight is increasing and his temperature has stabilised”

Health improving for Sweden's sick baby gorilla.

They Saved Gorilla's Brain!

A peek inside the Primate Brain Bank in the Netherlands.

“Let's kill those monkeys”

Puerto Rican farmers livelihoods menaced by monkeys.

Monday, April 10, 2006

“It's not like the gorillas”

Tennessee's Knoxville debuts Naked Mole-Rat exhibit and yet, there it still stands: no divine fire, no earthquake, no pillar of salt. Bah!

Sunday, April 09, 2006

“The lemur exhibit has been renovated”

Scovill Zoo, in Decatur, IL, opens for the year.

“the bees started stinging everybody in sight”

Kendrapara, India, paralyzed after honey-seeking monkeys disturb unfortunately-placed bee-hive.

“starred in 12 Tarzan movies”

Cheeta, world's oldest chimpanzee, turns 74.

Saturday, April 08, 2006

“definitely in decline”

52-year-old Janie, the oldest (and only) chimpanzee in New Zealand's Auckland Zoo, doesn't have many options.

“not trying to make some kind of robo-shark that would attack people”

What to get the man who already owns sharks with fricking lasers on their head: brain-controlled sharks with fricking lasers on their head!

“Animal rights activists are horrified”

Endangered monkeys or AIDS-infected humans: ethicists wrangle over which shall live.

“Ring-tailed lemurs, llamas, alligators, a grivet monkey and an armadillo were among the animals killed”

Michigan's Nature's Creek Petting Zoo, now fans of the Underwriters Laboratories label, seek donations and plan May reopening.

Thursday, April 06, 2006

“what do chimpanzees have to do with academia?”

UN ambassador of peace and foe of medical progress Jane Goodall drills the answer into every listener at Univerity of Dayton's Stander Symposium. Chimp-like hoots are heard.

We're lying: “an attempt to stanch the spread of bird flu”

Filthy lice-ridden monkeys chock full of deadly avian flu, PETA whines.

“lift an ape-like creature to a modern human”

If the pickled kitten doesn't convince you, there's a feejee mermaid out back that will, heathen!

“Monkey-dung study offers clues about land-use, wildlife ecology”

Science isn't all  glamour.

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

‘the skulls are human and are of "recent origin"’

121 skulls found in China, originally thought to be of monkeys, confirmed as human by police.

“It’s important that the monkeys maintain their natural behaviour”

Squirrel monkeys at London Zoo given given cell phones in negative reinforcement exercise.

“I don't think it was shocking”

California lemurs may look for new home as Micke Grove Zoo is denied reaccreditation.

“viciously attacked”

$215,000 award to Israeli man mauled in 1998 chimpanzee attack.

Goodbye, Lisa

Lisa the gorilla dies during surgery at Johannesburg Zoo.

“it's a real bummer ”

Cheyenne Mountain Zoo's new gorilla being fostered by zoo workers and volunteers afer mom Kwisha not up to the task.

“four generations now survive at the zoo”

A photo of golden monkey mother and child at China's Jinan Zoo.

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

semper vigilans

Sarah at A Glass of Chianti finds video of yesterday's lemur-screeching incident. There's rather a lot of screeching. And a penguin, not screeching.

“now planning studies on monkeys”

Dallas firm readies for further trials of Alzheimer's vaccine.

“life-long mate of Max the gorilla”

Johannesburg Zoo's Lisa the gorilla faces cancer surgery.

“When Princess Anne saw him, she would have a good laugh”

Former Buckingham Palace butler's memoirs include a staffer in a gorilla suit.

Monday, April 03, 2006

“armed with blowpipes and bearing monkeys on their heads”

Colombia's last nomadic indigenous tribe, or Tasaday wannabes, in either case, the jungle's full of Marxists and they're not sticking around to join the party and be enslaved.

“all had a good laugh”

KTVT weatherwoman startled by on-air porcupine, prompts mating screech from lemur.

“chimp-use costs have jumped as much as 30%”

Forbes reports that the advertising industry has been striken by skyrocketing increases in the cost of anthropoid actors.

Sunday, April 02, 2006

“Plastic teeth were found in a jaw of one of the skulls”

121 skulls found last week in China's Gansu Province originally said to be monkeys, now attributed to humans by some experts.

“I think monkeys should be left in trees”

Following MTV-sponsored chimp-kissing incident, Jessica Alba turns anti-monkey.

“how he lost the tip of his finger to an alligator”

Former Wild Kingdom host Jim Fowler entertains guests at Alabama's Montgomery Zoo.

“the little gorilla baby appears to be doing fine”

Scandinavia's first gorilla birth at Sweden's Kolmarden zoo