Monday, October 31, 2005

“The Gorilla is very selective”

Campbell, CA plagued by gorilla-impersonating burglar.

Outsourcing nightmare!

Duke University neuroscientists teaching monkeys to count!

“reducing the number of plasmids”

US & Japanese scientists devise faster production of bird flu vaccine.

Not a post

Well, I see working a gag around “Libby, Libby, Libby on the label, label, label” is not a fresh idea, so the heck with that!

“Conan's afraid of wide open spaces”

Associated Press loves Chimp Haven:
They are at the home courtesy of Congress, which in 200(sic) passed the Chimp Act, providing up to $30 million to care for animals that were used as test animals in federal labs.
Which was damned big of them, eh?

“isn't some Halloween prankster wearing a gorilla suit”

Bib overalls still popular with old coots claiming bigfoot sightings.

Sunday, October 30, 2005

Friday, October 28, 2005

“the first biologist to study seahorses under water ”

Chevron Conservation Awards to environmentalists. Neither gills nor failed policies need be a barrier to award it seems:
Liza Gadsby and Peter Jenkins. The duo founded the Pandrillus organization in 1988 to protect the endangered drill monkey and other primates from extinction. As few as 3,000 drills remain worldwide.


Pennsylvania gorilla-boy to face trial and all-caps.

OK everybody, get in a pile!

Stupid hippies celebrate the randy bonobo at the Bonobo Peace Forest.

“delay is unacceptable”

Cameroon demands South Africa pay reverse ransom for holding “Taipeng Four” gorillas.

“being paid to feed the animals”

Out-of-court settlement in Arkansas bitey chimp case.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Could do worse

Julius Caesar
You scored 59 Wisdom, 65 Tactics, 58 Guts, and 49 Ruthlessness!

Roman military and political leader. He was instrumental in the
transformation of the Roman Republic into the Roman Empire. His
conquest of Gallia Comata extended the Roman world all the way to the
Atlantic Ocean, introducing Roman influence into what has become modern
France, an accomplishment of which direct consequences are visible to
this day. In 55 BC Caesar launched the first Roman invasion of Britain.
Caesar fought and won a civil war which left him undisputed master of
the Roman world, and began extensive reforms of Roman society and
government. He was proclaimed dictator for life, and heavily
centralized the already faltering government of the weak Republic.
Caesar's friend Marcus Brutus conspired with others to assassinate
Caesar in hopes of saving the Republic. The dramatic assassination on
the Ides of March was the catalyst for a second set of civil wars,
which marked the end of the Roman Republic and the beginning of the
Roman Empire under Caesar's grand-nephew and adopted son Octavian,
later known as Caesar Augustus.
Caesar's military campaigns are known in detail from his own written
Commentaries (Commentarii), and many details of his life are recorded
by later historians such as Suetonius, Plutarch, and Cassius Dio.

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
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You scored higher than 18% on Unorthodox
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You scored higher than 26% on Tactics
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You scored higher than 68% on Guts
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You scored higher than 33% on Ruthlessness
Link: The Which Historic General Are You Test written by dasnyds on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

“surely it would be kinder to just kill them”

Chimpanzee in Cameroon fostered by Scot.

“MobilePet Monkey”

Those with a cell and too much time on their hands may enjoy paying for a virtual monkey.

“man needs vast quantities of palm oil to fry his greasy foods”

You feel guilty about everything or you're part of the problem.

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Lese Majeste!

October 25. 1920: King Alexander of Greece dies after bite from pet monkey.

Monday, October 24, 2005

“Marmosets waited almost twice as long as tamarins”

Harvard scientists study different sorts of monkeys to learn details of immediate vs. delayed gratification. Don't snicker, you paid for it.

“Ghouls at Grassmere”

Tennessee's Nashville Zoo goes all Halloween. Boo.

“please don’t worry this baby orangutan might fall from the rope”

Modern zoo-keeping a hit with Japanese crowds.

Saturday, October 22, 2005

“made partly of elephant dung”

13 pictures of monkeys at center of £700,000 Tate Gallery scandal.

“a very mysterious skin condition”

I am not a chimpanzee,” insists Nobel-winner Harold Pinter, unconvincingly.

First they must agree on the shape of the table

"Taiping Four" gorillas still mired in diplomacy.

“The whole lot were put on antibiotics”

More chimpanzees sick with flu at New Zealand's Wellington Zoo.

Friday, October 21, 2005

Goodbye, Bahati

Four-year-old chimpanzee at New Zealand's Wellington Zoo euthanized after severe brain damage because of cardiac arrest in case of flu, pneumonia, despite best efforts of intensive care staff from Wellington Hospital.

“a viral infection”

Allie, Denver Zoo's ill orangutan, to get rehab at Iowa's Great Ape Trust.

“dumber than a tamarin or a marmoset”

Even stupid leftists agree: stoners are dumb as rocks.

PETA or PETA symps, I betcha!

USDA finds California's Sequoia Park Zoo not to blame in recent escape of Bill the chimpanzee after person or persons unknown vandalized his enclosure.

Thursday, October 20, 2005

“an unlicensed exhibitor whose monkey bit two preschoolers”

Dodgy zoos prosper more in the Eastern United States than in the rest of the country, say Agriculture Department investigators.

“This is like fighting a 1,000-pound gorilla”

Philadelphia councilman under federal investigation essays suicide attempt.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Monday, October 17, 2005

“and hunted the packs of pygmy elephants”

Hook, line, and shrinker.

“agreed to stop trying to infiltrate”

“PETA research and investigation director Mary Beth Sweetland calls it "a complete victory."” Cause they intend to be back in there next week?

“vice president of the Dian Fossey Gorilla Fund International”

Gorilla researcher inspired by King Kong, hoping for a ride on Peter Jackson's coattails.

“the chimps beat and often kill their neighbors”

Chimpanzees: watching the borders.

Saturday, October 15, 2005

“it changes your whole perception of reality”

Bigfoot believers convene in Texas.

“I think they miss the people”

Still cleaning up in New Orleans at Audubon Zoo.

“the governor did not appear to be pleased with the accord”

Sore losers get Argentine government to cancel results of auction of part of former Pizarro nature reserve

Thursday, October 13, 2005

“The Gorilla Pumpkin Hunt”

At the Cincinnati Zoo and Botanical Garden animals and pumpkins: box-office gold.

Biretia fayumensis, Biretia megalopsis

Anthropoid origin pendulum said to swing back to Africa as fossils of two 37-million-year-old parapithecoid species discovered in Egyptian desert.

“to take home four of their gorillas”

Saga of Taiping 4 drags on.

Haven't these people suffered enough?

Jane Goodall jets to Brownsville, TX.

“Am I over-reacting? I don’t know, I would like to think not. ”

Outrage! Monkeys not treated like dogs in Mauritius!!

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

“did not prevent the alleged entry of vandals onto zoo grounds”

PETA loons blame California's Sequoia Park Zoo for vandalism of Bill the Chimpanzee's enclosure. I know who I'm blaming!

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

“Traveling more than 300 days a year”

Jane Goodall's globetrotting knows no bounds. Today, Oakland.

“dressed up as gorillas”

Greenpeace interferes with lumber trade in Italy. A ship was boarded, activists chained themselves to things, a spokesman spoke, the lumber got where it was going.

“to revive the interest and knowledge about Albert Schweitzer ”

Jane Goodall's coming to Quinnipiac.

“in collaboration with the Harvard Peabody Museum and the Max Plank Institute”

Woods Hole Research Center goes ape to stave off extinction.

“Hey, mom. I saw a penguin”

Jack Hanna favors zoos.

“one of the best he's seen”

World Society for the Protection of Animals reviews zoos in Canada's Alberta province. Big thumbs up for Calgary Zoo.

“they have to be put into quarantine”

UK's Cefn-yr-Erw Primate Sanctuary seeks money to pay for a place to put baboons. And a green monkey.

Saturday, October 08, 2005

“panic gripped the entire area”

Part of India little affected by the recent earthquake still found it unsettling. By way of example:
The pet monkey of Ompal Samyal flattened his arms and legs and caught hold of the ground

“almost 3 million people have touched Mr. H”

Queen of the Chimps Jane Goodall packs Chico, CA's 1200-seat Laxson Auditorium.

“They often push knives into my tires”

Congolese bushmeat sellers unhappy being called cannibals by hectoring French bonobo fancier.

Goodbye, Anuhea

Juvenile chimpanzee dead of pneumonia at Hawaii's Honolulu Zoo.

“you can help by not purchasing a certain type of wood”

Baby orangutan Baji a big hit at Ohio's Toledo Zoo.

Friday, October 07, 2005

“there was a short circuit”

Monkey rescued after becoming entangled in the wires of a transformer in India's National Institute for Training in Industrial Engineering.

“The person who let him out probably thought he was freeing him”

59-year-old Bill the chimpanzee coaxed from area home after escape from vandalized enclosure at California's Sequoia Park Zoo.

“Mylo is living at the Scranton zoo”

Pennsylvania monkeynaps woman's rhesus.

Bring opera glasses!

Oregon Zoo adds second pygmy marmoset, “the world's smallest monkey”.

Thursday, October 06, 2005

More news from GMail

If the bird flu don't get ya the creeping crud from space will!

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

“semi-wild orang-utans roaming the protected Semenggoh forest”

Given a choice of foods, orangutans will choose durian, among others.

“somatic chimeras of cells derived from two products of conception”

Marmoset facts, on Gene Expression.

“studies with monkeys”

Researchers at Missouri's Washington University School of Medicine say middle ear a vital part of depth perception.

Top News from GMail

Bush Derangement Syndrome, thy name is Crock.

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

“at least five fatal cases of monkey bites in India every day”

India's Primate Research Centre emphasises that monkey menace must be addressed effectively.

I say, "Don't relay Chinese propaganda!"

&ldquo'The China Daily is reporting”... Which is why I chose to wait for someone else to touch it.

“colony's first baby in 15 years”

Macaque born at Delhi, India's State University College of Technology. Damned handy if India ever runs short of monkeys!

“more likely to survive and pass on their genes”

Scientists say human ancestors used tubers to survive. I know mine did!

“nature has its little way of dealing with that”

Mojo, Belfast Zoo monkey runaway, sent to South Africa's Induna Primate and Parrot Park.

“the importance of reporting suspicious activities with wildlife to the authorities”

Malaysia unable to protect its wildlife.

“said to have furthered general knowledge of evolution”

Jane Goodall performances much in the news of late.

Monday, October 03, 2005

“some chimps actually tiptoe over rocks”

Jane Goodall Institute says chimpanzees stay quiet when scared after experimentally frightening chimpanzees.

“We're doing it just in case”

Mothering lessons for Bess, pregnant orangutan at Arizona's Phoenix Zoo.

“on loan from two different owners”

Miami Metrozoo responds to Animal Rights Foundation of Florida accusations.

Saturday, October 01, 2005

I adopted a penguin and all I got was this stupid card

Found via Tim Blair, it seems that Australia's Penguin Foundation wants you to adopt a penguin, but you don't get to keep it or anything.

“Electron powder and vitamins”

Despite ever-increasing threat of “monkey menace,” Indian zoo obtains additional chimpanzees from Singapore.

“Some consider the pine-resin accent an acquired taste”

Greek wine is reviewed. Retsina is dismissed with a shudder, which'll happen.

“they want food from us, not sexual favours”

India's The Hindu calls for monkey menace to be addressed with “a realistic plan that is also humane.

“I like to think outside the box”

Alabama Gulf Coast Zoo to be the subject of 13-episode Animal Planet series.

“women have wings that are the same size as men's”

Brazil's Minister of the Environment hobnobs with Jane Goodall as both are feted at Jackson Hole Wildlife Film Festival.

“She was really cute about it”

Jane Goodall brings Roots & Shoots indoctrination tour to Alhambra, CA.

“prosimians, a division of primates”

New director of Duke University Primate Center to spend money on lemurs, the forgotten primate.

But the lemur's gotta go

Indiana Department of Natural Resources allows man with just a touch of animal hoarding to keep a mountain lion and two white tigers (who will eventually kill and partially consume him, but that'll be a story for another day.)