Thursday, October 30, 2003

Wednesday, October 29, 2003

Monday, October 27, 2003

"This man is a menace to the world"

Unemployed Saddam hireling mocks his betters.

Repeat offender

Kansas trucker cited (hire a copy editor) for animal neglect, again, for keeping chimp caged in parked semi cab.

Trail of evidence

University of Tennessee researcher to test Mystery Dung.

Game Preserves being used as hunting grounds

Bushmeat crisis stories from Congo and Kenya.

It's two, two, two columns in one

Is it news, or is it unpaid advertising for Orangutan Appeal UK?

Who'd he call?

Monkey steals cell-phone from visitor to Chinese zoo.

"She greeted the crowd with an authentic chimpanzee call"

Queen of the Chimps amuses Florida college crowd with party tricks, calls for fuzzy-minded one-worldism.

Saturday, October 25, 2003

Kids, be careful. UK police confirm:

You are not Tarzan. (Also, don't play with grand-dad's forklift.)

Mark, Mark, they're conducting horrible medical experiments!

Canadian researchers to conduct monkey trials of prospective SARS vaccine this fall. That's, like, in a year? This is news?

"We are definitely one of the leading groups. I don't want to say we'll be the first, but we're definitely the leading edge." Somebody look at me!!!

“If the lemur jumps on Dave’s head, that’s good entertainment”

Iowa's Niabi Zoo to provide talent for Jack Hanna's Nov. 12 Letterman appearance.


Australian travel agents on busman's holiday to Brunei. A monkey is expected to be seen.

Thursday, October 23, 2003

A conversation piece, I guess

"What the hell is that thing?"

"Why, that's my orangutan skull. Like it?"


David Attenborough gets a fleet rate

Uganda considers raising ticket price to track chimps.

$4 million during the next few years

Duke University to better accommodate monkeys.

The red mouth ought to be a dead giveaway!

Madhya Pradesh, India betel-nut dealers plagued troubled by violent, thieving addicted monkey.

Paging Mr. Santayana, Mr. George Santayana

Franklin Park Zoo plans further escapades of Little Joe.

Wednesday, October 22, 2003

Scrum this!

English rugby player writes "what I did on my summer vacation" travel column about trip to Grenada, finds room to badmouth US, President Reagan.

With a photo that isn't it!

Whether or not it's a now recaptured pet, publicity-seeking nutjob who hasn't seen it declares the Tennessee critter to be a skunk ape.

Tuesday, October 21, 2003

State of Washington puts more chimps on welfare

Cle Elum to host Chimpanzee Retirement Sanctuary Northwest

"Deputies plan to interview the man to make sure that his monkey was the one on the loose"

Tennessee mystery creature may be this escapee, now recaptured.

Tranzi reign of terror to visit Boca Raton

Queen of the Chimps uses foundation-funded celebrity to blame all world's problems on humans, Western culture. "If everybody acquired the standard of living the average American has, we'd need four more planets."

monkey population on course to outnumber humans

Indian state of Himachal Pradesh plans to sterilize teeming "delinquent" wild urban monkeys.

"It's probably a big dog"

Rural Pennsylvanians have been reporting a mysterious escapee, mothman, or chimera for years. And still are.

little Mogly

German escapee captured in Bremen old people's home.

"Neither department had a tranquilizer gun"

More local coverage of Stamford, CT chimp.

Update: more. Note to UT Veterinary School primate expert Dr. Edward Ramsey, quoted in previous post: "Travis runs his own bath water and prefers ice cream, wine from a tall-stemmed glass and filet mignon over bananas." Herbivorous, my ass.

Monday, October 20, 2003

"Virtually every primate is herbivorous"

Expert who hasn't seen it declares Tennessee escapee probably not a chimp, probably not killing cats.
"Odds are, if it killed anything, I don't think it would kill many and it wouldn't kill repeatedly."

Update: A more excitable take on things.

Another thought: Dr Instapundit and Mr. Hyde?

"It also fails the laugh test"

Money-hungry treehuggers report they're confused, frightened by proposed changes to endangered species importation policy, insist only the only thing that can work is more of what hasn't worked.

"I've been to the zoo, but I never thought I'd be chased down the street in Stamford"

Connecticut escapee gives Stamford cops a hard time, is recaptured.

Update: Brief local story with small blurry photo of the entertainment as it occurred.

Saturday, October 18, 2003


More Monkey-related items added to the permalinks at right.

Thursday, October 16, 2003

Barn door, horse, etc.

Franklin Park Zoo investigating. Jack-booted Agriculture Dept thugs on the case, too. State cops want their own tranquilizer guns, Teddy nervous.

Update: Red Sox to offer manager spot to Little Joe

"planned march through the ancient, monkey-infested town"

Reuters thinks Indian muslims are endangered by Hindus. Cause Islam's the Religion of Peace and such, ya know.

"We don't want any trouble but if there is any violence against us, we may not be able to control retaliation by misguided Muslims,'' Maulana Musannah Miyan, a leading Muslim cleric told a news conference in the city.

I see nothing, nothing!

The wait pays off for gorilla photographer Schulz. (He took a picture of one, not he is one.) (If he is, it doesn't say so.)

Update: another story, this one with the photo.

Oh yeah, the monkey

Remains of long-missing squirrel monkey found in former Kresges in British Columbia.

Wednesday, October 15, 2003

Coltan, a rare metal used in manufacturing cellphones

Diane Fossey Gorilla Fund says Emmerson Mngangagwa, possible successor to Robert Mugabe, involved in Congo mineral trade, gorilla killing.

Tuesday, October 14, 2003

Monday, October 13, 2003

Maybe you could volunteer to take their place, Sunbeam

Alaskan PETA-wannabe can't find anything local to whine about, complains about a chimp in Nevada.

What's your major?

University of Louisiana-Monroe biology major researching whether monkeys learn by watching each other.

A common mistake

"The last time the town of Hartlepool had that many people at a public event was when they unceremoniously hung a monkey because they thought it was a French spy."

I cannot see, look out for me!

Australian scientists hard at work replacing contents of monkey's lens with silicon-based gel. "It will totally change ophthalmic surgery, if we can get it right."

Sunday, October 12, 2003

"It's a nice step towards applying this in humans"

Texas scientists transplant ovary into sterile monkey, harvest egg to produce test-tube monkey.

"she controlled the robot arm using only her brain and visual feedback"

Researcher implants monkey so it can play video game without moving.

Canadian Ape

Calgary Zoo touts gorilla exhibit

Ook, ook

Researchers discover that genetic defectives have trouble speaking, invite reporters in.

George Bush bad, scary. Ook.

Queen of the Chimps unmasks, leaves steaming pile of lefty elitism.

Update: "We must not sit still and do nothing." Watch the trees, keep watching the trees.

Saturday, October 11, 2003

Monkey Mikey

On the Fritz notes something about the big fibber.

"hot chilli soup with gorilla flesh"

"Monkey meat is real tasty especially if fried well with tomatoes, onions and some garlic.”

"We found a flag pole and a monkey head"

Kids cleaning the river bank in Johnson City, NY find something nasty.

Friday, October 10, 2003

Toonces got nothing on this, baby!

"St. Louis Zoo taught a monkey to master a driving course"

That ought to make for a pleasant lunch

SHARE Home School Group will have a park day at Community Park near the gorilla cage area. Evolving not permitted.

Your Tax Dollars at Work

NSF Funds Study to Simulate Primate Chewing.

Thursday, October 09, 2003

No running, kids!

American military base in Japan to remove “Monkey Mountain” from their elementary school playground since it's too dangerous under wussy new rules.

"Kofi Annan appointed Goodall as Messenger of Peace"

Queen of the Chimps takes time from her busy schedule to help indocrinate future Tranzis.

What, no elephant dung?

German "artist" to add gorilla corpse to exhibit of preserved bodies of humans, animals. "Now in Hamburg, it has had long runs in Germany and London, has toured in several countries and more than nine million people have visited it."

Wednesday, October 08, 2003

There's a Grey-shanked Douc?

Obscure primates face extinction

What are you looking at?

A Western lowland gorilla from Bristol Zoo that has had cataracts since birth has regained full sight following two groundbreaking operations.

What about the Burrowing parrots?

Gorillas are conservation's poster child, but you should feel guilty for not contributing to uglier animals, too.

Bwindi Tourist Visits Up Since May 2000

"Tourist visits to the park dropped sharply after Interahamwe militia attacked Bwindi in March 1999 and killed eight foreign tourists and a park warden." Well, yeah.

Ero primo

Italian mountaineer says he declared that the yeti is really a brown bear before Japanese alpinist did.

You suspected it, didn't you?

Monkeys are laughing at us!

Tuesday, October 07, 2003

Monday, October 06, 2003

Oh, Drama!

Alaskan high-schooler visits Rwanda, sneaks up on gorillas.

A nice scientist-to-gorilla ratio

"A team of 100 African scientists is counting rare mountain gorillas living in the range straddling Congo, Rwanda and Uganda." "There are believed to be about 670 mountain gorillas living in the wild..."

Update: They'll be counting nests because it's "very difficult to count wild gorillas."

"Animal rights protestors will make their presence felt tomorrow"

Glaziers near Cambridge University expect a windfall.

Then we can just sit back and clip coupons!

Louisiana researcher has monkeys teaching monkeys.

Sunday, October 05, 2003

Don't Tell Eisner!

Queen of the Chimps is against chimps in show-biz.

"The Great Conservancy"

Kenya ponders a controversial land grab.

German film researcher interviews retired Hollywood chimp

Cheeta gets visitors.

"No one wants to have a gorilla escape"

Boston Globe reports that Little Joe's flight from Franklin Park Zoo isn't helping Zoo New England's quest for a plusher seat at the tax trough, and that they may be forced to buck up their notably poor attempts to find private money or even do something about controlling costs.

Saturday, October 04, 2003

Just Cross to the Other Side of the Street

Another Malaysian youngster suffers a monkey attack.

"looking for donor agencies"

"Project Primate," launched by India's Tripura State, purports to help conserve some fairly obscure primate species.

A little less "self-esteem", a little more "learn to read"

Queen of the chimps teaches Delaware tykes to speak chimp.

Friday, October 03, 2003

Goodbye, Rocky

Arkansas Little Rock Zoo gorilla dead after anesthesitized routine exam.

Well I'll be an Armadillo's Uncle!

Humans share near-identical uninitialized code patch areas with all sorts of critters.

Oh to be in Fresno, now that the Big Fresno Fair's come!

Next year, Poultry & Fowl, this year a diapered capuchin and various other rainforest denizens, diaper status not mentioned.

"It was so not computing."

Vermont wonders "guy in gorilla suit" or "sasquatch"?

Well, who could have predicted that?

New TV Tarzan panned.

Thursday, October 02, 2003

Wednesday, October 01, 2003

Someone's tempting fate

Everest climbers visit Boudanath Stupa, belittle Monkey Temple.

Survivors of Lemuria

The Cheese Stands Alone on lemurs.

Painting chimp honored with sculpture

"Sammy, a 25-year-old resident of South Bend's Potawatomi Zoo, has been painting, off and on for the past seven years." As part of their Celebrate the Chimps project, the Zoo commissioned dozens of sculptures of chimps. This one is supposed to be Sammy.

This story includes one of the chimp's works.

Decatur, beware!

Apparent escapee spotted in Arkansas.

"She's our hero"

Queen of the chimps lies about D.U.. asks that attention be diverted from fighting terrorism.

I'd rather die

PETA-symp UK columnist against monkeys in medical research

Gorillas for me but not for thee

PETA-symp Boston columnist wants Little Joe set free.