Sunday, August 31, 2003

"they tend to live in small groups"

Congo pygmies sing. Remember, more bushmeat for you means less subsistence for them.

Saturday, August 30, 2003

Even commoners can be eccentric now

UK couple opt for gorilla-themed wedding.

"I am absolutely ruling it out"

Senator Clinton denies she will seek Presidential candidacy, is likened to 800-pound gorilla.

Friday, August 29, 2003

Thursday, August 28, 2003

Wednesday, August 27, 2003

Hah! Just wait till you see what a couple of silverbacks can do to your nice B&B!

"Gorilla-Based Eco-tourism Planned for Trans Boundary Park"


But more important than the rest of this foolishness.

"the most charismatic of all wildlife species"

Malaysia comes out against orang-utan (hyphen's back) extinction.

"Forty-five minutes later the dish arrived"

Not only does Belgium, self-proclaimed conscience of the world, have a hankerin' for bushmeat, but the service is really terrible.

You realize, of course, that this means woah!

Elite Force Aviator: George W Bush doll introduced in UK, BBC hunts up Mark "the usual moonbat" Morford to compare the President to a monkey.

Chimp Dead at Nancy Zoo

Yew clippings, who knew?

Tuesday, August 26, 2003

"African parks should not exclude people's needs"

No gorilla advocate ever stands so tall as when he stoops to help a pygmy.

You say Cameroon, I say Cameroun

Nigeria and Cameroon to cooperate.

Idaho beware!

"The only chimpanzee show in the United States" and you're getting it.

"Lowell was out of his cage and wrapped around his legs"

Zookeeper's helper is introduced to a hyphenless orangutan.

How about "The Fighting Surrender-Monkeys?"

World Wide Monkey® seeks dupes for publicity stunt

Making sure the clinical monkey supply stays low

Britons seek to rehabilitate chimps gone wrong.

"the ongoing genocides"

ASL-Signing monkey website insists it's our fault when Africans eat monkey-meat. Bad Westerner, no monkey for you!

Monday, August 25, 2003

Glasgow Zoo closes

Inappropriate accomodations found for now-homeless animals.

The Fatal Glass of Beer

Ghanan poachers using moonshine to render monkeys easy to poach.

What'll the neighbors think?

CT firm sells Sasquatch special, various science entertainment shows to Russian TV.

Uh, unlikely

Columnist reports that South African zoo Gorillla nabs gun-toting criminal.

"Plaster footprint casts abound"

Ohio Bigfoot believers have a club.

Sunday, August 24, 2003

Gorilla here, gorilla there

Controversy surrounds the disposition of the Taiping Four

Two words: "Natural Selection"

Reporter turns simple little scientific conference into occasion for wild speculation, tin-pot social theorizing.

Shave 'Em Dry

Gorilla-suited pro-fur protestor disrupts anti-fur protest, is assaulted.

Don't play with your dinner!

Bonobo burgers!

Saturday, August 23, 2003

Shut the door, Richard

Lax Zoo-keeping in St. Louis.

It's in the water!

Via Silflay Hraka, it's Butt Monkey Beer

Cocaine Decisions

Chimp to pick winner of some big contest. To be broadcast on WB, so at least no one will see it.

Friday, August 22, 2003

Wednesday, August 20, 2003

Oh, THAT monkey!

Libyan man charged with smuggling monkey

Update: Convicted, sentenced.

Please step to the rear!

Dutch escapee coralled.

I got your "idiotarian" hangin'!

The Great Ape Project wants the UN to declare "the extension of the community of equals to include all great apes: human beings, chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas and orang-utans."

A Case of Mistaken Identity

"Komla Hafu, 46, farmer, was shot at close range, after allegedly being mistaken for a monkey."

Tuesday, August 19, 2003


Pro-mouse, pro-chimp.

How Low Can You Go?

If "monkey-populated ancient ruins" aren't your thing, tourists can view the dead AIDS victims exhibit.

Not bad enough he practiced cannibalism

Apparently he enjoyed dining on monkeys, too.

Monday, August 18, 2003

Well, how nice for them!

"Promising West Nile virus vaccine protects monkeys"


Former one-animal zoo now boasts 44. Monkeys abound.


Scientific study of lice-ridden monkeys, people, claims human body lice, clothing, both 70,000 years old.

I know what you did last summer

You monkey-sat. Notice that the teacher didn't.

Leave them chained there!

British PETA-wannabes demand untested monkeys.

"We named him Jumpy"

Jumpy finds a new home

Another reason to avoid zoos

"loose shunting by visitors"

The Problem with Primates

Reasons to avoid keeping monkeys as pets

Sunday, August 17, 2003

This is how it begins

Indiana chimp too smart for our own good.

Saturday, August 16, 2003

You damned dirty ape!

Via Bloviating Inanities, Jennifer presents a list of things you'd prefer not to have known.

Wyoming, think twice!

Pervy monkey-fancier allowed to roam without a minder.

Guardian advocates anarchy

They're made of meat, fool!

Humanity's worst nightmare

Now it's a game, ha-ha. Sheesh

Friday, August 15, 2003

Thursday, August 14, 2003

Public Service

Mindles Dreck at Asymmetrical Information is trying to do real-time. on the scene, reporting of the power outage. Via InstaPundit. See also Command Post.

Maybe there'll be Monkeys in the News later

For now, at least it mentions monkeys. And bears.

Wednesday, August 13, 2003

Massachusetts again

"Escapes from zoos are not that uncommon."

Scientific results from Arkansas

It's the teeth, apparently.

Do as he says!

I wouldn't want it in my back yard.


"The males are slightly larger than females and are easily recognised by their turquoise blue scrota."

Port Angeles, WA: Beware

"His son, Wesley, a budding ventriloquist, will be roaming the fair with his monkey, Chips." Sounds too much like Chomps for my comfort.

Newsflash: this just in!

India's crowded.

Life's a zoo

Simian child abuse.

Tuesday, August 12, 2003

Indian Parliament Building infested

When, oh when, will the world learn that appeasement never works?

Hollywood still out of ideas

Peter Jackson to remake King Kong

And if that doesn't work, Westerns!

TV moguls threaten new Tarzan series.

Cliché watch

Monkey business in the news.

Monday, August 11, 2003

More mouthwatering monkeys!

It's what's for dinner

Virtual Monkeys

Monkey Shakespeare Simulator

Sunday, August 10, 2003


Man disguised as gorilla snatches bananas from shop.

Update: Oh good, the pranksters are rewarded.

Imaginary monkeys in the news

"An amateur scientist who's leading the group says he's certain the creature exists."

Cliché watch

"monkey wrench"

Saturday, August 09, 2003

Them's good eatin!

Old news, yeah, but it's been a slow day.

Ya big ape!

I predict this will be all over the yeti sites momentarily.

Update: DNA testing to be employed
"on fecal samples".

"Apparently, he was rather hostile and had a reputation of biting people"

High desert escapee captured.

Monkey Menace

"Monkey menace had also added to the problem."

Friday, August 08, 2003

Where was Teddy?

Massachusetts escapee found dead on road.

Putting a stop to it

Cameroon delivers a slap on the wrist.

Look out, Chicago!

Monkey makes a break.

Update: owner found, monkey still at large.

Update: Captured!

Imaginary monkeys in the news


Thursday, August 07, 2003

Mo monkey, mo monkey, etc.

Let's pay them to breed!
Vector, vector, vector!
They're still breeding!
Cliché watch

Wednesday, August 06, 2003

Somebody changed their mind.
They're breeding!
Green Bay says "No!" to monkeys.

Update: or do they?

Tuesday, August 05, 2003

Monkeys in the Blogs
Humorless monkey researchers, who knew?
Second place gets to take the trip but needn't visit the orang-utans.
Has-been attempts to restart career with distracting monkeys. Plans to change name when that doesn't work.

Monday, August 04, 2003

I think I'll have a beer, instead.
Monkey problems in Malaysia. Makes the cheap real estate look like less of a deal, doesn't it?